Advice That Girofriend

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AussieThailand
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Advice That Girofriend

Post by AussieThailand » July 8, 2024, 5:36 am

Hi,

My isaan GF has never really asked for money but of course I pay rent, food etc.

She had a lot of money when we met, much more than a receptionist in a hotel can save up. And also 100s of 100s of baht worth of gold.

I asked her how she earns the money and she said she borrows and lends to friends for interest.

I broke up with her because I didn’t trust her.

Since then she has tried to get me back many times, constant phone calls etc.

I asked how she has survived since we broke up because now she is not working a hotel job and is unemployed.

Is it a common lie to say they’re borrowing and lending money, when really they are out sexworking? She is on dating sites, from pattaya, now in Phuket. She also went to Singapore for 3 weeks to work in a bar and claimed there was no sex allowed just money for hosting tables.

Will a girl like this ever admit the truth?

Thanks 🙏🏼



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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by anefarious1 » July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm

Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.

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Laan Yaa Mo
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by Laan Yaa Mo » July 8, 2024, 7:49 pm

anefarious1 wrote:
July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm
Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.
One might say that lying is true of any culture. It is not more common here than anywhere else.

You should be able to determine if the person is truthful or not using your own judgment.
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by rick » July 9, 2024, 8:55 am

Had a short time girlfriend when i first came to Thailand, who asked to stay the night on the first date (but asked for money), and tried later to get financial help. Later found out she too went to Singapore for a 'holiday'. Truth in Thailand is what they think you want to hear. I asked friends of mine who knew my wife to be what they thought of her, and took note of how her family treated other farangs. Then i knew maybe i had a keeper.

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by anefarious1 » July 10, 2024, 4:01 pm

Laan Yaa Mo wrote:
July 8, 2024, 7:49 pm
anefarious1 wrote:
July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm
Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.
One might say that lying is true of any culture. It is not more common here than anywhere else.

You should be able to determine if the person is truthful or not using your own judgment.
You say it is not more common here... respectfully agree to disagree. Two VERY important words here: Saving face

A majority of Thais cannot even be honest regarding seemingly inconsequential matters that it boggles the mind. Truth is often a mystifying concept. But if you keep your life very simple here then I believe you can somewhat insulate yourself from this mind numbing reality. Some guys are renting a room and riding a bicycle, spending very little, etc.

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by Laan Yaa Mo » July 10, 2024, 4:21 pm

It seems I have been fortunate to have met more honest Thais than some on this forum. My experience indicates Thais are no more honest or dishonest than any other nationality.

Saving face can also mean not been caught in a lie.
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by deankham » July 10, 2024, 4:28 pm

If you were to compare bar workers / hookers from all countries I'm sure you'd find most to be lying and cheating scum bags.

However if your comparing a bar worker from Pattaya to an accountant from San Francisco then I'm sure you would find a higher percentage of lying and cheating from the bar worker. :-"

Not exactly a balanced view of the world is it...

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by anefarious1 » July 10, 2024, 4:41 pm

No bar workers or anything like that...Right now I am without a car because my local mechanic was been promising to fix it for an entire month, 31 days to be exact. Part after part has been ordered but still no fix. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and actually believed him because I didn't have a plan B. Finally I had to take the car back because he is unable to admit he cannot fix the car. He is probably relieved that I took the car because I'm sure he is tired of spouting his lies and nonsense. I actually feel bad for the guy. At least I got him out of the situation.

Meanwhile my house is currently for sale and at least 4 different people have claimed to be buying it "SURE". One lady went as far as to tell my wife to get the paperwork ready. Another suggested a 50% deposit when I suggested only 3% lol. Such discussions are almost always complete nonsense and you just have to take everything is a grain of salt here. Not one of the 4 have been able to admit they are no longer interested. If you call them up ALL OF THEM will still claim to be interested and come up with some excuse but none will admit they have moved on.

My wife, who is Thai, also knows people simply cannot be honest. You just have to laugh.

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by Laan Yaa Mo » July 10, 2024, 5:20 pm

The practice of lying when indicating a person may want to purchase a home seems to be fairly common and not confined to Thailand. It also might indicate a cautious buyer.
There’s an old and odious real estate saying that “Buyers are liars.” It’s odious because it’s not completely true and it’s repulsive because lying – or withholding the entire truth – isn’t endemic to real estate consumers.

We all have the capacity to lie when we’re expected to buy. Whether we’re shopping for a pair of shoes or a used car, many of us are not completely honest with salespeople. Sorry, but to real estate consumers that’s what you are, a salesperson.

So, what do agents think homebuyers might “lie” about? The list is long and just about every agent has experienced at least one Pinocchio-esque situation. But are these, in fact, lies? We’re not entirely convinced they are, so let’s take a look at a few common cases.

Are Buyers Really Liars? Addressing a Common Agent Complaint
by Shannon O'Brien | Dec 31, 2014 | Real Estate Discussion | 0 comments


There’s an old and odious real estate saying that “Buyers are liars.” It’s odious because it’s not completely true and it’s repulsive because lying – or withholding the entire truth – isn’t endemic to real estate consumers.

We all have the capacity to lie when we’re expected to buy. Whether we’re shopping for a pair of shoes or a used car, many of us are not completely honest with salespeople. Sorry, but to real estate consumers that’s what you are, a salesperson.

So, what do agents think homebuyers might “lie” about? The list is long and just about every agent has experienced at least one Pinocchio-esque situation. But are these, in fact, lies? We’re not entirely convinced they are, so let’s take a look at a few common cases.

Case #1: They Don’t Know What They Want

Your clients wanted a two-story home on the east side of town and ended up falling in love with a one-story on the west side. That’s the vanilla version of the story. Many agents have stories of showing exactly the type of homes their clients said they wanted, for months on end, only to have them eventually turn their backs on their “must haves” and decide to purchase the exact opposite.

But did they lie about what they wanted? Chances are good they just really didn’t know what they wanted until they were set loose in the candy store of available homes. In fact, chances are even better that buyers know more about what they don’t want in a home than what they do. This is why it’s so important you ask the right questions during your initial meeting, and keep asking them as you show potential homes.

“When a buyer says one thing and does another, I see it as a shortcoming in my own qualification and rapport building with the buyer,” says Daniel Beer of Windermere Real Estate in San Diego. “Perhaps I did a poor job of listening or maybe I didn’t ask the right questions. It is my job to help them find what they want, and they don’t always know exactly what that is.”

Wish lists are obviously not set in stone, and as their agent, you owe it to your clients to dig deep into what they both want and don’t want to help find what’s right for them. Figure out what’s motivating them to buy, and you’ll be a long way down the road to figuring out what they really want.

Case #2: Tire Kickers

What’s your knee-jerk reaction when a Macy’s sales associate asks if he or she can help you? “No thanks, just looking,” right? Were you lying? So why then, does a “We aren’t ready to buy yet – we’re just curious to see what’s out there” response from a homebuyer constitute a lie?

Sure, it is highly likely that these lookers would jump on the first house they like with a decent price. You know that. I know that. The potential buyer, however, probably doesn’t.

Now, let’s go back to the Macy’s scenario. What response could the sales associate give you that would put you at ease and make you feel comfortable enough to approach her when you are ready to buy? Munch on that one for a while.

Case #3: Fibbing on Finances

If you bought your first home before you entered the real estate industry, this one is easy. Remember how uncomfortable it was to sit in front of a total stranger and tell her how much or how little money you made, how much debt you had, and the dirty little secrets that credit agencies held about your financial life?

Now, if a client fails to tell you about the bankruptcy that was discharged just last month, that’s a lie – not an oversight. If they claim they’ve seen a lender and know exactly where they stand with getting a mortgage, and they haven’t, that’s a lie.

Melissa Graebner, associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin’s McCombs School of Business, published a 2009 study that found that buyers are more likely to lie than sellers. She says the lack of honesty stems from the fact that buyers are less trusting than sellers.

Now, Graebner studied buyers in mergers and acquisitions transactions, not in real estate, but the takeaways from her study may apply to our industry as well. They speak loudly to the issue of building trust and rapport with your client as quickly as possible. When clients know you aren’t just a salesperson, that you’re not in it solely for the commission check, and that you care about their motivations and needs, their skepticism will abate.
https://www.marketleader.com/blog/are-b ... complaint/

The topic seems to have switched from lady advice to lying Thais.
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by tamada » July 10, 2024, 6:03 pm

anefarious1 wrote:
July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm
Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.
No. YOU could argue that lying is part of Thai culture until the cows come home, but it doesn't make it fact or anything close to reality.

Sorry* that your rodeo here has been so sh*t.

* not really
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'You don't have to be afraid of everything you don't understand'
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by anefarious1 » July 11, 2024, 9:53 am

tamada wrote:
July 10, 2024, 6:03 pm
anefarious1 wrote:
July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm
Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.
No. YOU could argue that lying is part of Thai culture until the cows come home, but it doesn't make it fact or anything close to reality.

Sorry* that your rodeo here has been so sh*t.

* not really
Very clever use of the asterisk tam. Anyway I reckon I'll be more mellow as I get to your age. I do apologize as I never intended to trigger you. hmmm what else can I say... Thai people are highly dependable and honest and keep their word and don't just tell you what you want to hear. And to the OP, I would trust what she says. Hope that helps to settle you down a bit tam.
Last edited by anefarious1 on July 11, 2024, 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by noosard » July 11, 2024, 10:15 am

Laan Yaa Mo wrote:
July 10, 2024, 5:20 pm
The practice of lying when indicating a person may want to purchase a home seems to be fairly common and not confined to Thailand. It also might indicate a cautious buyer.
There’s an old and odious real estate saying that “Buyers are liars.” It’s odious because it’s not completely true and it’s repulsive because lying – or withholding the entire truth – isn’t endemic to real estate consumers.

We all have the capacity to lie when we’re expected to buy. Whether we’re shopping for a pair of shoes or a used car, many of us are not completely honest with salespeople. Sorry, but to real estate consumers that’s what you are, a salesperson.

So, what do agents think homebuyers might “lie” about? The list is long and just about every agent has experienced at least one Pinocchio-esque situation. But are these, in fact, lies? We’re not entirely convinced they are, so let’s take a look at a few common cases.

Are Buyers Really Liars? Addressing a Common Agent Complaint
by Shannon O'Brien | Dec 31, 2014 | Real Estate Discussion | 0 comments


There’s an old and odious real estate saying that “Buyers are liars.” It’s odious because it’s not completely true and it’s repulsive because lying – or withholding the entire truth – isn’t endemic to real estate consumers.

We all have the capacity to lie when we’re expected to buy. Whether we’re shopping for a pair of shoes or a used car, many of us are not completely honest with salespeople. Sorry, but to real estate consumers that’s what you are, a salesperson.

So, what do agents think homebuyers might “lie” about? The list is long and just about every agent has experienced at least one Pinocchio-esque situation. But are these, in fact, lies? We’re not entirely convinced they are, so let’s take a look at a few common cases.


https://www.marketleader.com/blog/are-b ... complaint/

The topic seems to have switched from lady advice to lying Thais.
In my expericence of real estate, the main liars are the agents and the sellers
Which is where the saying "buyers beware" comes from
So same goes when fishing for girl friends/wifes

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by tamada » July 11, 2024, 12:07 pm

anefarious1 wrote:
July 11, 2024, 9:53 am
tamada wrote:
July 10, 2024, 6:03 pm
anefarious1 wrote:
July 8, 2024, 12:47 pm
Most here are allergic to truth. It's extremely common to lie, period. One could argue it is part of Thai culture to lie. Don't take anything she says seriously.
No. YOU could argue that lying is part of Thai culture until the cows come home, but it doesn't make it fact or anything close to reality.

Sorry* that your rodeo here has been so sh*t.

* not really
Very clever use of the asterisk tam. Anyway I reckon I'll be more mellow as I get to your age. I do apologize as I never intended to trigger you. hmmm what else can I say... Thai people are highly dependable and honest and keep their word and don't just tell you what you want to hear. And to the OP, I would trust what she says. Hope that helps to settle you down a bit tam.
Not triggered so no apology necessary.

I never mentioned anything about the locals dependability or honesty, I just commented on your broad brush "its cultural" argument. I've had my bad experiences, similar to yours. However, I tend to remember the good experiences that exponentially outnumber the sh*t ones I've had.

I think I have mellowed as it's maybe four or five years since I vented on this forum about the washing machine abuse and water wastage by my squatters, something that anonymous people probably didn't give a sh*t about.
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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by jackspratt » July 11, 2024, 2:32 pm

Laan Yaa Mo wrote:
July 10, 2024, 5:20 pm

The topic seems to have switched from lady advice to lying Thais.
It's pretty obvious that was at least one of the intentions of the OP.

Of course, it's possible they may have got their answer elsewhere, given the fact they haven't logged in here since about 5 minutes after posting this, more than 3.5 days ago.

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Re: Advice That Girofriend

Post by Udon Map » July 11, 2024, 2:46 pm

jackspratt wrote:
July 11, 2024, 2:32 pm
Laan Yaa Mo wrote:
July 10, 2024, 5:20 pm
The topic seems to have switched from lady advice to lying Thais.
It's pretty obvious that was at least one of the intentions of the OP.

Of course, it's possible they may have got their answer elsewhere, given the fact they haven't logged in here since about 5 minutes after posting this, more than 3.5 days ago.
Good point. Since the discussion has moved so far from the original topic, and the OP hasn't even logged into the system, let alone replied, since his original post several days ago, I think that it's time to close this thread.

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