Insightful study of Thai cross-cultural relationships from the woman's point of view

[tamada]

Living the long-term consequences of Thai-Western marriage migration: the radical life-course transformations of women who partner older Westerners

This article examines how relationships between Thai women and older Western men transform over the long-term, from a woman’s perspective. We present a model that identifies stages in the life-cycle or ‘narrative arc’ of a long-term partnership. This framework allows us to study how negotiated exchanges (material, emotional) between the couple evolve in ‘stages’ over time, and the degree to which a woman is empowered from her initial position of relative subservient dependency. We examine three factors that shape her relative autonomy in a partnership in ways that can result in greater security, wellbeing, and status. First, increasing access to individual formal rights (primarily through marriage) can lead to relative financial independence and security. Second, differential ageing in a couple can shift the balance of dependency as he becomes relatively infirm. Third, her changing obligations to natal family members, balanced with caring for her partner, can importantly shape her wellbeing. The study is based on 20 biographical interviews with women in partnerships for 7–30 years. We find that almost every aspect of a woman’s life transforms radically. Most consider it a worthwhile life-strategy, but many suffer hidden psychological costs as a result of living this ‘unintended transnationalism’ over the long-term.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10 ... 19.1565403

I stumbled across this on't internet and although a bit long, I found a lot that resonates not only with my experience as a farang partner of a long-suffering Thai lady, but also of those of friends and what you hear or read online.

[Laan Yaa Mo]

This going to be interesting reading. I have only started the journey and have a long way to go before finishing. The introduction requires some clarification because Buddhism is introduced as the one religion practiced in Thailand. However, Buddhism is syncretic in which Hinduism, Chinese (Mahayana) Buddhism, and animism all play an important role. As does the belief system of a rural woman, a vendor, and a university educated person. In other words, there is usually a difference and significant gap in thinking and goals between a sophisticated educated woman and a grade school learner.

Also, a number of rural Thais do not just venture to Bangkok for a better life, many head to provincial capitals and towns.

[jackspratt]

A long, but worthwhile and illuminating read.

Should be compulsory for every farang who is in a long term relationship here with a Thai partner - or contemplating one.

Thanks

[FrazeeDK]

gotta wonder if the answers the interviewees gave were true... As for the purported Westerner's idealized view of the subservient asian women I'd ask did anybody reading this actually have that belief? My observation in my 51 years since I first came to Thailand is that few if any Thai women going with foreigners are subservient.. Leaving your country, particularly in my wife's case over 50 years ago, meant being strong enough to go with no prospects of ever coming back..

this piqued my interest... "Also, there are incentives for a Westerner to register their marriage, so that he enhances his own visa and ownership rights, and gains access to basic medical care, for his prospective life in Thailand". Is there something I've missed since retiring here in 2012?

[trekkertony]

Thanks for that Tamada, a great read, l have forwarded to my son. Whilst the research focuses on age differential and the effect of it, it will shed some light on what he can expect in later life.

[Brian Davis]

I certainly found it an interesting read, if long and heavy at times. I'm not sure my brain took it all in, but I could see my wife and self in many of the situations. I wonder what an interview with my wife might have brought out, as we have a 36 year age gap. I had to smile when one wife complained that her elderly husband was no longer satisfying her sexually. The solutions apparently were, ahem, self-help, but also strangely that the husband had to pay her more allowance!

[Laan Yaa Mo]

Yes, it is a good read for those gentlemen who have Asian (or other) wives ten or more years younger than them. I found it heavy slogging at times as the writer had to veer off and discuss sociological theories. Furthermore, the study group was rather small with only around 20 women consulted. Maybe the evidence/thesis could have been improved by interviewing up to 20 women in various cities in Isaan, the north, Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket and the south. Nevertheless, this is an important work with the focus on the changing roles of women married to Singaporeans and farangs in which there is a significant age gap.

When this is published as a book, one would expect more couples to be interviewed, and chapters devoted to categories such as peasant girls, bar girls, business employees, market/service (ie. restaurant)/labourers, high school and university grads and so on. A book would also permit more exploration into the background and expectations of the husband. Furthermore, more analysis could be devoted to the Thai women who go outside Thailand to live with their elderly spouse.

This is an important study.