a sad update to a 3 year old topic i once started.

[poolshark]

back in NOV' '07, I started a topic asking for advice on a new pick-up.
I had 73 replies of advice and good wish's from fellow members on here.
I went for the toyota hilux vigo, prerunner with twin cab.

I then went on to give my reasons for wanting one and wrote this piece below.

thanks, great to have so many people giving me advice.

The reason i am asking which pick up to buy is because
I started a little shoe factory last christmas in bangkok for her Family.

my wife's sisters and brothers have worked in the shoe factories
of Bangkok since they were 13 years old.

I went to visit them at work about two years ago, and i was horrified at
the conditions in their workplaces.
New born children lying beside their Mothers and the strong smell of glue
wafting through the air.
I had never seen a sweat shop before and after
1 hour of my visit, i was as high as a kite on glue.

Since then, my wife lost both of her parents.
Due to working in rival factories ,her 2 brothers and 2 sisters were having less and less contact with each other.
I asked what it would cost to open their own shoe factory and they said maybe 200,000 baht.
I gave 140,000 with the promise of the remainder to come if they were starting to do well.
I returned to see them in april of this year and I was told,
that they would not need the remaining money, as the business was going very well.
There are now 23 people working in the factory and they now want to buy a pick up , to bring their shoes to the main wholesalers rather than using taxi's all the time.
My hat goes off to them for making a success of their new venture.

thanks again for your useful advice.

poolshark

Well now to may 2010.
I set up this business for my wifes family.
I never intended to make money from it myself , nor did I.
This was for her family to run themselves, for themselves.
My Wife's Sister and her Husband were put in charge of this venture.
I donated the €3,500 down payment on the pick-up and he would pay the 36 monthly instalments that would be left owing.
It was in his name and for my use on holiday visits.


He was a likeable guy with a good knowledge of the shoe business.
Great at getting the orders in and getting orders done on time.
His wife, my sister in law, was the best shoe seamstress around.
A great couple to have in charge, ..............or so I thought.

This guy was working 14 hour days in another sweat shop for 12 years.
He seemed like a man that would do well , if given a chance.
I trusted him like a brother. I knew him 3 years at this stage.

He never stopped thanking me and was forever the nice guy when I would be over in thailand.
The factory was flying, 23 staff that were always paid on time and six of my wifes family in full time jobs and getting twice the wage that they had earned before. what could go wrong.

After two years, things started to go wrong with him and my sister in law.
how someone can change so quickly when they are put in charge.

Being the big boss man, he drove around in his new pick-up, wallowing in the new found wealth and wanting the world to see how important he had now become.
It was like a rags to riches story for him.
He suddenly started to look attractive to many of his staff,
and in particular to his Wife's Best Friend, whom also worked in the factory.

This so called best friend was jealous of my sister in law and hatched a little plan to get him for herself.
They would sneak away together for intimate sessions and after 2 months of their Affair, she tells him, She is Pregnant.
He decided to come clean and tells his wife [my sister in law] that he is ending their marriage
to take care of his future wife and child......WHAT A PLONKER.

My sister in law lost a husband and a best friend and was devastated.
She could not run the Factory by herself, and keeping all the staff in a job,
so she decided to leave the factory to him.

One month later he married the new wife in a village ceremony.
Guess who's pick-up drove the groom to her house?.
one week later, she tells him, she lost the baby...as if there was one at all.

After the wedding he decided to open another factory next door to the one i started, and put the new wife in charge of it.
She resented having to look at my remaining in-laws, working away next door.
Seeing them there was a constant reminder of his wife.
Over time they were given the most difficult orders to do.
the shoes that take ages to make and have little gain for the work.

so eventually they all left.

Now this bitch has 2 factories, a pick-up and is Lady of the Manor.

I went to see him last october in the factory.
He was very sheepish and held his head down a lot of the time.
I did not get angry with him, but let him know how saddened I was with his behaviour.
I told him I was so disappointed with him and how he let us all down.
I tried to make him feel guilty and I guess in the end it worked.
the following day he arranged to meet me at the factory and handed me € 4,000.
I was gob smacked.
I had written it off already as dead money.
there is a god I thought.

I was feeling that maybe I should not take it all, but when he said that
his new wife's parents let him borrow it................... I decided to keep it.
He then gave me the keys to the pick-up and said drop it back whenever your holiday is over.

Part of me wants to hate him for what he has done,
to my hopes and dreams for my wife's family, but I cant.
The worst part is that I still like him a lot and will miss the friend I had in him and I know he feels so sorry for everything he has done.

The whole sorry saga makes me wonder, If I did not start the factory at all,
would we have all been much happier today ?.

My sincere apologies for boring anybody who has read this far down the page.
It is just something i want to move on from, and writing it down this way may help with the sadness i feel inside.

Thanks for being an outlet
IRISH STEVE....POOLSHARK.
















.

[jackspratt]

Thanks Steve.

A salient and poignant reminder of the vagaries of human nature.

[stattointhailand]

Steve, I think (virtually), if not all of us have had very similar experiences. The stories are always different, but the underlying theme is ALWAYS the same. As soon as money and wealth gets involved people change. It's not just in Thailand, but unfortunately here it seems to only need a small change in circumstances to create a big change in attitudes. It is very unfortunate, but "showing off" to everyone around, and Jealousy seem to be two of the main traites here. If money is involved (or status), you can bet your life that what was a B50,000 marriage agreement, will become a B500,000 agreement to all in the villiage. It's sad, but if the people here would only realise when to stop bragging, there would be far less jealousy from those around (it's only human nature to be a bit jealous if someone is constantly showing off). Don't be too hard on yourself for what has happened, just put it down to experience, and think that for a while at least, everyone had a time when they were happy which they would not have had in the origional "sweatshop".

[Ray.Charles]

Like you said John that keeping up with the Joneses, or the Smiths is not unique to Thailand; to that I add that it is just cruder here, at least in our eyes becuse we are sophisticated people from richer countries.

[arjay]

It is very unfortunate, but "showing off" to everyone around, and Jealousy seem to be two of the main traites here. If money is involved (or status), you can bet your life that what was a B50,000 marriage agreement, will become a B500,000 agreement to all in the villiage. It's sad,

So very true, and sad for being so.

[maaka]

your good nature eventually provided 23 people with jobs and money that they might not have had otherwise..take some heart in that..

[beer monkey]

Thanks for the update Steve....funnily enough i was thinking about the original months back during the Fantasy Football Banter...as i remember well the original posts as i talked about trucks etc........and i wondered how it panned out.
Now i read...a few twists and turns.....and i was as surprised as you when i read the part of handing over the money bit..!!! Most men family members i know have moved on to other women, and Vice-Versa....as soon as the women know that a chap has a few baht they want a slice of the cake, the man feels good at the attention and goes all wobbly at the knees, its all to common...it seems the norm...Shows its not only Farang that get in that situation....money makes the world(Thailand) Go Round....tit.

And you did the right think back then and set out a route......someone else changed the course.

[rufus]

Steve, I remember your original post because I was also interested in a pick up. No, I was not bored at all by the story; I am glad you gt some money back out of it and I am glad you made your post.

[UdonExpat]

Your BIL is not the first guy to be led astray by a woman and ego, nor will he be the last.

His infidelity, while reprehensible, was owned up to and he did what he thought was the right thing for his expected child. You did not mention if he suspects he was deceived by the present wife.

He has made you whole for your investment and honored your agreement with the truck. His relationship with you seems to be important to him.

I have had friends who were less honorable, and maintained the friendship.

Things cannot be undone and it doesn't help anyone to dwell upon what might have been.

[LoongLee]

I know my remarks aren't enough to lessen the multitude of feelings you have about the experience but please consider that,,,,, 1. Your intentions were pure,, 2. The example (good and bad) provided to all concerned was lasting,, and 3. The Thais believe it's karma and the man and his wife will pay in their next life.
I think the next most important issue to come out of the experience could possibly be the expectation that you are now the source of "seed money' for all future "schemes" attempted by the family. How will you address that?
Best of luck ,, LL

[poolshark]

and 3. The Thais believe it's karma and the man and his wife will pay in their next life.

.
you may have something there LoongLee.
following on from last nights update, we decided to phone the sister in law this morning.
She has moved to jomtion beach, pattaya and is renting out deck chairs on the beach.
She still keeps in touch with the ex husband, mainly because of their Son,
who lives with her ex husbands parents up north.

I think the karma has kicked in already, a little bit earlier than the next life.
apparently, all is not well in the shoe business these days.
with the downturn in the global economy, the bangkok riots and the strong baht, the orders
are way down on the last few years.
He is now having problems with his new wife's parents,
in paying back the money he borrowed to pay me off.

her parents are telling her to leave him and find a farang in pattaya,
just like her 2 sisters have already done.
if that wasn't bad enough, the finance company rang my sister in law,
asking why the last 2 months repayments were not paid on the pick-up.
She gave them his new wifes number and address of the factories, and told them to sort it out with her.
I think I would only start a new venture for her family, if I was living there myself.

"seed money'

[thrilled]

I think many of us mean well.I believe alot of us would want our extended family to do well.
The problem is,is that many people don't know how to handle money-"wealth" since they never had it before.
Many people aren't good with money.Look at all the people that have won the lottery.Many of them are in
worst shape now then before they won.

[TJ]

Interesting tale, thanks for sharing with us.

Among my thoughts:

A good hearted man will, if he can spare the money, give gifts of money to relatives and close friends. If you loan, rather than give, money to friends that means that you cannot accept the loss and will likely lose or lessen your relationship when the money is not returned.

The old saying, power corrupts, is true even at the lowest levels.

Life is like the soaps; it is filled with unexpected events, celebrations and sorrows.

[easterneye]

Reading your story you got your heart in the right place mate,,,,just an aside allthough its of little consolation to you I have a mate here in the UK who is one of the most honourable guys I have ever known has recently lent a huge sum of money to his close friend to help his business ,which is about 2 clicks away from going bust ,,,,,hes just kissed bye to that lot