Just broken up with 'gf', Udon, here I come!

[thalenoi]

So your coming up with your girlfriend but going separate ways?? She'll find you and if your with another lady could be Big Trouble in Irish Clock, or wherever her and her family find you.

zoomzoom and 21again might need to improve reading skills (and maybe some more).
OP said his Udon GF dumped him, had a flight booked and doesn't want to cancel.
He's coming nevertheless, got that???

[jackspratt]

Yes, I though it was all pretty clear as well thalenoi.

[rogerdoger]

Thank you thalenoi. I was desperately trying to find all the hidden meanings and strange interpretations that could be extracted from my post, but alas I couldn't find them. I put it down to something they found in the fields and ate.

[21again]

So your coming up with your girlfriend but going separate ways?? She'll find you and if your with another lady could be Big Trouble in Irish Clock, or wherever her and her family find you.

zoomzoom and 21again might need to improve reading skills (and maybe some more).
OP said his Udon GF dumped him, had a flight booked and doesn't want to cancel.
He's coming nevertheless, got that???

Okay, okay, i misread it, it was the 'tickets' what threw me, i thought roger and his g/f were traveling together up to Udon, Roger going Irish Clock, g/f to mums.
Totally misread it yes,

[rogerdoger]

Thanks 21 for admitting that and not concocting some nonsense response. I appreciate your honesty and sorry for the comment!

[rufus]

I thought Roger's post was crystal clear. perhaps a number of posters on this board, zoomzoom?, do not have English as their first language?

[chilli657]

Roger..

Another thing matey, it sounds like your beating yourself up about it, i bet half the people on here have had set backs of some sorts through the years, i know i certainly have and i`m only 35!!! I`ve been going to Thailand since i was 17/18 years old on and off and certainly don`t claim to know everything about Thai`s or Thai culture. I`ve been married to Noi for 3 years now and we have a beautiful 4 month old girl, i/we are very happy and understand each other to the full, it`s not always been easy and we`ve had to understand each others way of thinking whn it comes to family etc etc. I always said i would never settle down with a Thai, but love conquers all i suppose! You`ll meet the right one mate but don`t push it to hard and be careful.

[rogerdoger]

Cheers mate. I am not going into the full details of my or her life,but she is not a stupid lady. How culture can kick commonsense in the nuts is beyond me.TIT.

[Welshboy]

Hi Rogerdoger.

I have the same problem as you.

I have been with the same Thai Lady for over 2 years. We have talk about marrage and a furure together and we have hit an impasse. She wants a farang marrage. When i told here about a farang wedding ie. Two people together forsaking all others. She said NO! My mother comes first! ( not our mothers but here mother ) I told here that i would not take secound place, in my own marrage.

Here mother comes first. I can like it or lump it. Its up to me!
As it is my T/G that want to get married. Have the house, land, money, ect.
I told here that it is not going to happen. Untill we can sort out this problem.
As a relationship must evolve or die. It is had to see what to do next ?

I am now back in the UK for the next 13 weeks. The two of us (me) can reflect on what has been said and what to do next ? There is nothing or no one to blame, just a massive differant prospective on life.

[rogerdoger]

Thanks for that, seems like it is a common theme.

[thrilled]

Irish clock isn't easy.At least not when I was adon.I email top mansion about A week before I want to stay there.Udon is A nice town.There is A hotel that has A meeting with thai women and farangs once A week.Ya might want to check it out.

[chilli657]

If your in a relationship with anyone from any country and any walk of life and theres no compramise then one of you won`t be happy and the relationship won`t last. Sometimes you have to move on, take a deep breath and just say to yourself that it wasn`t meant to be. If theres no give and take at the beginning it will only lead to misery in the long run!

[stattointhailand]

"Without our mums, none of us would be here" ............. and no boyfriend/husband, or all the money in the world, can top that.

[rogerdoger]

Irish clock isn't easy.At least not when I was adon.I email top mansion about A week before I want to stay there.Udon is A nice town.There is A hotel that has A meeting with thai women and farangs once A week.Ya might want to check it out.

Cheers. I have booked the IC already and I am quite familiar with Udon. If you know the name of that hotel I'd be obliged, however I have a guardian angel who is helping me out with this aspect too!
Cheers

[rogerdoger]

If your in a relationship with anyone from any country and any walk of life and theres no compramise then one of you won`t be happy and the relationship won`t last. Sometimes you have to move on, take a deep breath and just say to yourself that it wasn`t meant to be. If theres no give and take at the beginning it will only lead to misery in the long run!

That is true, to an extent. I told her there is no such thing as luck or destiny, other than that which you create for yourself. She unfortunately had a negative outlook, more than just mai bpen rai, but ---- happens to me. I told her we control out own destiny, but that didn't seem to work. Last message she sent me she said I had made her a stronger woman, well obviously not that strong! Perhaps however, despite circumstances that I will keep secret that are really gutting me, there is a greater plan. I had done anything I could, other than moving to UTH, but sorry, I have worked for 25 years to get what I have and I'm not going to squander it for a life of 1 chang a week and noodles everyday. 15 years from now, yes, now, no.

[rogerdoger]

"Without our mums, none of us would be here" ............. and no boyfriend/husband, or all the money in the world, can top that.

But when mum is gone, what is left? A sad 58 year old, the same age as her mum was when she emotionally blackmailed her!

[maaka]

Like I said Rodg, I have been where your at, indeed more than once, and after 5 yrs of intense searching and set backs I have still come up empty handed, except for a new flame burning on the horizon..Indeed, I am just about to chuck the whole idea of having a partner in..but the loniness keeps coming back..25yrs living alone and never been married, oyiiiiiiiii one almost gets desperate, especially when the light at the end of the tunnel is now a ruddy big search light..

I consider myself to be a fair and reasonable sod, indeed generally put people first before me, I compromised as best I could with the means I had with my first Udon lady. she had a top job, three houses and extra land, and three kids, and I was willing to take it on, but mama and papa ruined it by wanting a huge Sin Sod which was out of my league. I thought the lady would see the benefits of marrying a farang, new passport, new country, better education for the kids, better paying job for her to send monies home, but no...the parents had spoken and matters were out of her hands..didnt matter if she loved me or not..

She had a little son, who hadnt known his real dad, and took a real shine to me, kissed me nite nite, followed me around, rushed home from school so we could muck around together, and he was the one that felt it the worst when I was asked to leave..I noted your remark in your OP about your ex's son, so I can guess the union that was formed between you and him..but having two kids of my own that I never grew up with, kids are hearty little devils and so he will pull thru..you can only put your best foot forward matey, and if that is not good enough for some, then that is there problem. as long as you know you did your best then you can hold your head up high, and await a new encounter...

someone Doug I think sort of ask me some quesations here so I will respond as I see them...I am not really sure about Old age pensions in thailand, but I was under the assumption that possibly only ex government staff might receive such a thing, and not so much the poor farmer, and as to all the family chipping in to help, well the the last lady I met last year, a poor farmer girl, she couldnt chip in, nor could a number of her sisters and brothers, and it was left to one who lived and worked in Hong Kong..so I guess it depends on the families situation...all in all, family are a big thing in thai society, most of my life I had very little to do with my parents, certainly didnt go off and work and sent them money, we all took care of ourselves, but in thailand it is generally the reverse..the family is a tight unit, husbands are supposed, and expected to take care of the family, and that includes her family.. anyway Rodger onward matey, you are not alone

[rogerdoger]

Thanks for that insight maaca, clearly I am not alone!

[BobHelm]

If you know the name of that hotel I'd be obliged

Ruy Suk - nice stroll from Irish Clock at this time of year....The meeting used to be Saturday afternoon but the bar has been leased out by the owner (Joe) who used to run it. The new owners of the bar (the George's) did have plans to do it on a Sunday afternoon, but don't know if that has started or not...

[wayne747]

I told her there is no such thing as luck or destiny, other than that which you create for yourself. She unfortunately had a negative outlook, more than just mai bpen rai, but **** happens to me. I told her we control out own destiny, but that didn't seem to work.

Roger, sorry to hear about your misfortunes - it is indeed a different culture.
One small thing that caught me was the above quote. My better half doesn't believe that either, so for instance it is a struggle to get her to wear seat belts. The Buddist/Thai outlook is something like "if you are meant to die, then you will die".
Other than that I can echo that it is really a big change for a thai girl to go to the west and live. Once they discover that streets are not paved with gold, the farang is not so rich back in farangland etc., the lure of the west evaporates. So if your ex gf is "too much attached to mom", perhaps it is for the best you guys broke up.
I can understand your "I want my Udon trip regardless of my ex-gf". Who knows, lightning may strike again. =D>