Thoms and child support

[saint]

You reap what you sow . just saying . However im curious why you gave a guy trying to sell his MU7 not so long ago, such a hard time , then telling him you wanted a pick up , if you dont have a pot to piss in ?
But i now understand why you are such a bitter little man .

you are the backside of a donkey . i was giving the guy a hard time as his post was and is a load of bull . I never said i do not have a pot to piss in just my pension does not go far enough to rent a place in the city and pay for 2 little boys whio i love dearly

In your opinion it was bull . We all have opinions . In my opinion it was genuine , see opinions .
And yes i may well be the backside of a donkey (another opinion ) but you are not going to pin your tail on me !!!!!
Out of interest , you being the good samaritan and all .
You paid an old woman 10, 000 baht for a baby , was any of this legal , even in Thailand . Just curious .

Contemptible.

Yep i agree . Coming from an expert , ill take it as a compliment .
Theres two sides to this story , we are only hearing one side . Just like bar talk !!!!!

[pal52]

In my opinion the OP has done a very kind thing and probably wrote the post in exasberation hoping there was somw aid somewhere but unfortunatley has been given scorn by many.
Also not sure why a man who has been dead 4 years is being given the treatment of Hoopoe who I cant see knew John well at all John was and agile sharp caring guy till illness took over the last years of his life allways taking his daughter and her friends out big parties for her Bdays certainly not a guy who would be day and night every day yes he liked a drink and a chat and enjoyed his walks everyday his friends still show there respects with help to his widow and family I doubt this would happen to man who showed no kindness

Thank you for your comments defending Major John's reputation.
Its nice to see that his memory is still in peoples minds.
He was my very good friend & his wife has just left my house 20 mins ago after a visit for a couple of drinks & food with other friends.

[MusicalBars]

yes pal52 I have to admit some of the comments had my blood boiling I knew John nothing like as much as yourself and although I am sure he may have said for people to be cautious he was a very kind man and was awful to see how quickly his illness came on I know you are still in contact with his family and are another gent

[rick]

Holiday ..... I just took my daughter on her first holiday last month at age 7. One week cost 20,000 baht. Unfortunately the practical necessities often consume 100% of my pension, holidays are a luxury. Mortgage, fuel bills, loans and insurance, food and school fees come first, and there are always house repairs waiting for sufficient cash to be fixed. Like DragonZ, I spent 7 years waiting for my state pension and meanwhile had to continually top up my monthly spend from savings, wondering if they would run out ..... I made it to the pension, but need to rebuild my savings, so brakes are still on.

Although i do not think i would have had the resolve to deal with Dragon's family issues, and fortunately do not suffer that, I fully understand the financial strait jacket he has experienced.

Some might say if you do not have sufficient money, you shouldn't be here. Exchange rates, health issues, other family issues back in home country, can all make substantial dents in your expectations.

[Hoopoe]

Musical bars , The passing on of wise words from someone is treatment by your standards ,i think you'll find words like this are written everywhere you look, as for not knowing the Gent try 15 years , so with that here's another bunch , " stay on amber be prepared to leave at short notice " I know why he used this set of words ,Many won't ,

JEllO , you didn't say anything wrong you only gave your views ,opinion on KINDNESS which is respected by most on here , and yes he was a fine Gentleman always dressed and polished ,

TAM , nowt better than CONTEMPTIBLE , CONTEMPTIBLE ,

SAINT , yes this is just like bar talk , there are 2 sides to every story , more to this than is being told , possibility , the free health cover has kept him quiet for so long , but now it's beyond responsibility , he posted i assume looking for peoples views and not just to be lavished with praise , it would seem that only some views are acceptable ,
Twould appear ( i thought impossible ) snowflakes have arrived ,

[Hoopoe]

I have got rid of the thoms . A bucket of water over the three of them in bed and a lot of shouting did the trick but my wife is not happy . Glat you are right i will be looking for an apartment for a month with the kids , perhaps ruy suk 2 or bb resort with swimming pool , then look for something relatively cheap near christian school . Can do as i get my visa on 28 april and dont have to keep the money in the bank just would be a lot easier if got even a few thousand baht a month from their parents .
I know i made a rod for my own back but it sort of crept up on me bit more every month but the fact is i have 2 lovely little boys who do not want to go with anyone else who i love very much and now have no choice but to look after them come what may
. Hoopoe , "post for all to see "was when i posted after i threw the thoms out (i did not know they were not coming back then ) they took the boys out in the car , my wife went after them and i was alone in the house feeling pretty low so i wrote the post thinking a problem shared etc

Dragonz ,
well isnt this a turn up for the books , I have only just seen this, something fishy has gone on with the dates of the post's ,
Congratulations , no one could be more pleased than i , anything i posted was as i see things in reality ,i do not dress things up,some like me for it some hate me for it ,
I also have brought up 2 boy's ,but wasn't in the enviable position of you ( sounds bad don't it ,wait ) you have had them from being babies , therefore (enviable position ) taught right from wrong , politeness , i don't need to go on and on , i on the other hand became the step father at the age your 2 boys are now ,the eldest was great ,(ish he had ways of extracting money from his mother) no other problems , BUT the youngest was wild as hell ,he finally after many many problems left school at 11 , his mother (still my wife happily married all this time ) undermined anything i said to him or did ,So i gave her the reign's with the words get on with it , when you can't sort the problem out then ask me ( but get out of the way )by this time there were drugs underage sex etc etc, the amount of times i've spent in the police station's (note plural) unreal ,( by the by just as a note for all to see , the under age sex ,she was 16 he was 17 , into the police station again (udon this time )the family (her ) agreed on 10,000 bht and they wont press charges, ha ha beggers belief , good job i stayed in the truck (they hadn't seen me ) it would have been at least double ,
So wife comes to me ,now i take charge ,i closed every bolt hole he had ,i went round to every house (familys inlaws out laws the lot ) they at last listened , so now nowhere to go he comes home ,high as a kite ,, i wait till all is good ,then wait for the lies ,and physically booted him down the street ,Theres a lot more than this but i'll stop here ,
by the way it gets more costly as you put them through uni ,
Wishing you well for the future , i think the misses may change now

[dragonz]

I have got rid of the thoms . A bucket of water over the three of them in bed and a lot of shouting did the trick but my wife is not happy . Glat you are right i will be looking for an apartment for a month with the kids , perhaps ruy suk 2 or bb resort with swimming pool , then look for something relatively cheap near christian school . Can do as i get my visa on 28 april and dont have to keep the money in the bank just would be a lot easier if got even a few thousand baht a month from their parents .
I know i made a rod for my own back but it sort of crept up on me bit more every month but the fact is i have 2 lovely little boys who do not want to go with anyone else who i love very much and now have no choice but to look after them come what may
. Hoopoe , "post for all to see "was when i posted after i threw the thoms out (i did not know they were not coming back then ) they took the boys out in the car , my wife went after them and i was alone in the house feeling pretty low so i wrote the post thinking a problem shared etc

Dragonz ,
well isnt this a turn up for the books , I have only just seen this, something fishy has gone on with the dates of the post's ,
Congratulations , no one could be more pleased than i , anything i posted was as i see things in reality ,i do not dress things up,some like me for it some hate me for it ,
I also have brought up 2 boy's ,but wasn't in the enviable position of you ( sounds bad don't it ,wait ) you have had them from being babies , therefore (enviable position ) taught right from wrong , politeness , i don't need to go on and on , i on the other hand became the step father at the age your 2 boys are now ,the eldest was great ,(ish he had ways of extracting money from his mother) no other problems , BUT the youngest was wild as hell ,he finally after many many problems left school at 11 , his mother (still my wife happily married all this time ) undermined anything i said to him or did ,So i gave her the reign's with the words get on with it , when you can't sort the problem out then ask me ( but get out of the way )by this time there were drugs underage sex etc etc, the amount of times i've spent in the police station's (note plural) unreal ,( by the by just as a note for all to see , the under age sex ,she was 16 he was 17 , into the police station again (udon this time )the family (her ) agreed on 10,000 bht and they wont press charges, ha ha beggers belief , good job i stayed in the truck (they hadn't seen me ) it would have been at least double ,
So wife comes to me ,now i take charge ,i closed every bolt hole he had ,i went round to every house (familys inlaws out laws the lot ) they at last listened , so now nowhere to go he comes home ,high as a kite ,, i wait till all is good ,then wait for the lies ,and physically booted him down the street ,Theres a lot more than this but i'll stop here ,
by the way it gets more costly as you put them through uni ,
Wishing you well for the future , i think the misses may change now

Yes i have brought my boys up and they are good as gold , excellent behaved , polite never cry never hurt animals not even spiders . Never hit another child ever but my wifes still says i am wrong in everything i do . Her one daughter is the thom i have mentioned , her son is even worse . PAID 40,000 baht for him to join the border patrol in nong khai after 10 yrs of not working , good job decent money , free keep and 15,000 baht a month . He married a nice girl from sakhon nakhon , had 2 kids , built a house with a noodle shop attached , gave him 4 tv`s and play stations from my old cafe . 1 yr later left her came home with young mia noi who stayed for 6 weeks then left . He wanted to go back home wife said no so he went on the whisky and drugs instead . Could not get a girl so started bringing men home same as his sister . Was screwing men 10 metres from me . used to make me sick ,4 yrs of ---- fighting with his drunk friends coming to my house in the middle of the night , beat him a few times even though a lot bigger than me fought like a girl . He went to taiwan a few months ago then his sister took over . They came back today and she look really rough and sick . Dont know waht she is doing but hiv looks likely as i know she has been selling herself but everytime i correct or scold my boys my wife is angry but i just point out what her kids are like.
A bit late reading this as just spent a night at nakha buri resort . Very cheap at the moment at 600 baht on agoda instead of 900 . cost 200 baht a day to swim so swim for 2 days have a room and free breakfast for 600 very god . booked again next weekend . Just me and the boys , no wife

[Hoopoe]

PM sent ,

[Pooclover]

I predict you will be divorced in the not too distant future...you behavior is far too confrontational with all your in-law family. End of the day they are not "your boys" as you put it....you have no rights.

[dragonz]

I predict you will be divorced in the not too distant future...you behavior is far too confrontational with all your in-law family. End of the day they are not "your boys" as you put it....you have no rights.

Completely wrong . they are not in laws they are son and daughter . I am not confrontational . Her son is an acloholic drug addict who has crashed 2 motorbikes while drunk and last year hit a car in nakha with a pickup when he was on the lao kow hurt some people and drove off . never got caught
The last time we had a go was when i was in the house alone with the boys and i went to the toilet . When i came out the then 2 yr old was nowhere to be seen . this was at night and 10 mins before a drunk guy came to the house asking for money for whisky . I was panicking , could not find him ,wife never answer the phone , went to the local police but nobody there after about 25 mins her son drove into the house on his bike with the little boy . He was very drunk and falling over . I shouted at him and he laughed so i hit him . 10 mins later he came at me with a machette so i pepper sprayed him .What would you have done ???drunk on whisky driving around at night with a 2 yr old . SOME COUNTRIES THAT WOULD BE JAIL TIME !!!! My wife and family were angry with me because i sprayed him but not angry with him as he did not have an accident .
The end of the day it is night . stupid saying
They are not my boys , what rights do i need ? youagain you are a little dense on understanding . I WANT THEIR PARENTS TO LOOK AFTER THEM !!! They do not want them and the boys do not want to go with them . When their father was here and came home from work he would walk right passed them never say hello no hugs or smiles and very rarely talked to them .
I look after them as i am all they have . I f there was another relative nearby who was good and clean they could look after them . They have 2 choices . live with me or back up with the hill tribes in sukothai .
Their mother came home a few days ago after being away for 5 days . Little boy went to see her , 20 mins back with me . She took him to sleep with her and was knocking on my widow at 11 pm as the boy was crying for me .
might be a bit complicated for you but all i want is for the parents to properly look after the boys or pay some money monthly for me to look after

[dragonz]

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

[tamada]

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

Have you taken any steps in the past two years to legalize any claim to being the boy's legal guardian?

[Khun Paul]

I concur suggest legal advice at least have the children made a Ward of the Court, which would ensure their location etc

[Wee Jimmy]

I don't think you have a serious problem. It's the Thai way to off load their siblings so they can be free and have no responsabilities.
Let him see his children but don't let them out of your sight. When he realises the boys dont want him he will probably be very embarassed and go away.

We have had first hand experience of a similar situation.
Good luck. Your concern for the boys is understandable.

[Whistler]

Dragonz, good for you for caring so much. My suggestion is, you are not in your home country, so trying to change a Thai to think like us is a fruitless waste of effort. In these circumstance you have little choice but to let things happen the way Thai people choose. Make sure your wallet is secure in your pants, grin and bear it.

[dunroaming]

Well i thought all the problems were over . The thoms were in udon visit now and then . boys now 5 and 12 and 5 yr old starting udon christian school 12 yr old starting new school and suddenly i am told the father is coming next week to see them .
This is the father who never paid 1 baht in the whole of their lives for them , left about 3 years ago , went to taiwan , never spoke to them or sent any money .Used to beat the oldest boy . I have paid for them cleaned them clothed them and today he phoned them but they not want to speak to him so my wife and her daughter shout at me for not letting them ???!!
The 12 yr old barley remembers him and the 5 yr old has no idea who he is , still owes me 30,000 baht from the money i lent him to go to taiwan but is still the guy above me .
My boys do not want to see him even though i tell them it is ok. My wife and daughter say that if they will not see him he will take them away with him as he can do !!!??
I am not surer what he can do under the law as my wife is old fashioned and still think the old rules apply but i am not sleeping now worrying .
Not contact them or pay anything for their keep and just wants to turn up out of the blue over songrang and my wife and their mother think its ok ?

I feel sorry for you but doesn't only happen in Thailand. Best option get a mediator involved as from what you have written you are not getting support from anyone and with Thai laws being complex you need a shoulder you can trust and lean on - good luck

[dragonz]

sorry guys late reply had a really hard day yesterday . He says he is coming in 14 april to take the 5 yr old back to live with him .went to lawyer , police yesterday and all seem to say father has the right to do this .It did not help that my wife and their mother do not want them, and seem very weak
It all stems from me looking after them 24/7 and paying for everything with no help and every time i complain TO my wife and their mother about giving me some help they say if i not want to look after them they will send them to their father . Do they tell their father i complain about looking after them which is bs just sometimes i would like a day off.
A few days ago the daughter came into my bedroom with a video link to the father and i shouted at her to get out so
they told the father i would not let the children talk to him. The fact was i was in my underwear and did not want to be on a video link with his family perhaps watching .Hew never phones them ever in over 3 years .
These kids are now my children .I love them and they love me and do not want to leave . the 5 yr old does not even remember him and he dotes on me . Drives me crazy sometimes . Follows me every where .Wears the same colour shoes as me . If i go to the loo he waits outside for me . if i make a coffee he waits in the kitchen for me . I think he is scared as he knows his parents do not love him and i am the only person he has .

[pipoz4444]

Hi dragonz

Wee Jimmy is correct, let him see the children. The reality is that as a Farang, with no blood ties to the Children (in this case), you have no legal right to stop the Father from seeing his children, no matter how much of a C..t he may be. So let his visit run its course.

Can I ask, where is the mother of the two boys, in this situation.

Under Thai law, the Father retains legal rights over his children, in most cases, even after the Divorce from the Mother, unless during the divorce preceding's, the Mother has obtained sole custody rights from the Thai Court, as part of the divorce process. Which many divorced Thai Mothers, do not bother to do.

You may find that the Mother will have the Divorce Paper/Document, but not a ruling from the Court giving her sole custody of the Children, which is a separate Document attachment to that of the actual Divorce Paper. This separate Document will state whether custody of the Children rests with the Father or the Mother. Again, assuming that the Mother did go through the Court process for a Divorce.

As a Farang, looking to adopt two children (in Thailand) where you have no blood ties, with the Children's biological Father still being alive and with him wanting to take custody of the two Children, you have absolutely no chance of the Thai Court system awarding you Guardianship over him. No matter how good of character or how financially sound you may be, compared to him. I am not speculating on this matter.

What I would suggest is that, from time to time, the Father will reappear on the scene, at the Mothers or Grandparents place (whoever is taking care of those he opted to discard). His appearance in not necessarily because he is interested in the Children, but because he looks at you, as a Farang and sees the possibility of a Pay Check.

pipoz4444

[Hoopoe]

HI Dragonz
2 years has passed , it never ends , when your a step father or looking after others children , Especially in this country ,and yep can see the father (if there's been no custodial court ruling ,which i highly doubt in this case as most on divorce ,don't apply for a ruling ) has all the rights , so as some have said keep it sweet allow the visits (even if your boiling inside ) i've seen this a few times and on each case eventually the kids are home to roost so to say ,one of my nieces point blank refused to see her wayward father ,whilst the other saw him but then realised "what for " ,
the saga of my stepsons continues to this day , the eldest lives in BKK ,fully and more so employed as is his wife , they have two daughters ,they'll be here for songkran , great to see them ,
the youngest (which is really what im trying to get at ) resides in the prison (after an accidental head butt 555) for more disruption to all the family , i sat him down explaining thats the last time i do anything ,,,,he understood ,,,but carried on till he got busted for pushing yabba ,the BIB came for the bribes x3 then realised they were getting fck all ,the stepson and his girlfriend will be released in 18 months having already done 7 months ,
now this is the part that may interest you , i keep the door open for both of them , BUT it is my house (albeit in the wifes name ) MY RULES , and that is the very reason they didn't live with us prior to his arrest , they both know under no circumstances are there any other rules ,

[GT93]

I respect what you're doing dragonz. Hang in there. Many Thai families are a challenge. Mine is too but they're less of a challenge than what you're facing.