Udon Girls Orphanage
According to Mai the gov't will provide further education or training if they have good grades and have had good behavior. They do go out at 18. I will inquire further and post the information. It appears the basic necessities are provided, the kids look well fed, dressed and reasonably happy. There is someone on duty weekends and holidays but not the decision makers.
Girls Orphanage
The situation sounds similar to the Childrens Home policies with which I am familiar here in the southeastern US. Upon high school (comprehensive school) graduation, the girls were expected to either obtain a scholarship or funding for further education/training or to get a job. In either situation, she was housed no longer -- there were always younger girls needing the space.
A disproportionate percentage of the girls became pregnant and did not finish high school (this was in the 60s and 70s).
A disproportionate percentage of the girls became pregnant and did not finish high school (this was in the 60s and 70s).
Spoke to G/f last night and recieved a very posative attitude, it was no no no no, very dangerous and even more NO NO , now Im used to her lack of positivity over new ideas but this shook me a little . We spoke about this at some length and depth last night and I have to say she does have some points . namely. These children have either been left or lost there parents, even at a young age they have security and obandonment issues which sad to say does not make them the most stable of individuals. (Yep did I mention g/f masters degree is in child psychology) . Anyway cut a lot of explanations short she can see a lot of danger not just for those who get involved but also for the children ,as she says and as has allready been said , if you start something like this you have to carry it on otherwise it just becomes another case of them being abandoned yet again. As adults we can tell the difference between being abandoned and say a sad act that results in a devestating loss ,to children they have just been left yet again. Dangers for aDULTS CAN I suspect fall into a few catogorys but the main one being that as the child grows older then it adapts to the life of being alone often clinging to anyone who offers any form of affection ETC often leading to stories that are not necesserily true .. I appreciate what members here have said about the children being taken advantage of and that of course is a major concern but I do also feel that for our own protection we must be guarded in what we say and do .
So with all of that in mind a few ideas and thoughts. Maybe it would be a good idea if say three couples teamed up and took three children on a day out to the same place, that way the children woudl have there friends close to hand but also have a NICE DAY OUT. I DO WONDER EXACTLY HOW CHILDREN WOULD BE PICKED i SEE Rays friend sort of saw one and wanted to make a difference ,which is nice but imagine being in a school of 250 girls and and being say one of the 200 who where not picked . Maybe an idea would be to let the school decide who was to go out or not. At least that way the idea of being one of the chosen people or even worse one of the ones left behind.
As a group there are many things we could do dependiong on the leval of involvment and degree of effort folk wished to put in , Im not a christian Tc nor am I after brownie points but I suspect at our time of life just the idea of putting something back into the pot of life appeals to us . As Val said said a few mails ago we are probably a pretty lethargic lot ,well the truth is we cant afford to be if we take on something like this ,these girls have enough problems without anyone of us adding yet another dissapoinment to there lives. Its a somber thought and hopefully one we all think of before we do anything .
For my own part any group activity I will gladly join in with , I dont think this is similar to Pauls school help in that you collect and then send money or goods. what is being suggested her is that adults will make a difference in a childs life directly by giving them company ,days out and hopefully some kind of believe that the world is a good place to live in and not all saddness .Its a lot of responsibilty and as with any responsability you need to understand what you are taking on . Maybe if members are interested in doing this then when Ray has been to meet the principles at the home it would be an idea to have a meeting of those of us who are interested in helping in some ways.
So with all of that in mind a few ideas and thoughts. Maybe it would be a good idea if say three couples teamed up and took three children on a day out to the same place, that way the children woudl have there friends close to hand but also have a NICE DAY OUT. I DO WONDER EXACTLY HOW CHILDREN WOULD BE PICKED i SEE Rays friend sort of saw one and wanted to make a difference ,which is nice but imagine being in a school of 250 girls and and being say one of the 200 who where not picked . Maybe an idea would be to let the school decide who was to go out or not. At least that way the idea of being one of the chosen people or even worse one of the ones left behind.
As a group there are many things we could do dependiong on the leval of involvment and degree of effort folk wished to put in , Im not a christian Tc nor am I after brownie points but I suspect at our time of life just the idea of putting something back into the pot of life appeals to us . As Val said said a few mails ago we are probably a pretty lethargic lot ,well the truth is we cant afford to be if we take on something like this ,these girls have enough problems without anyone of us adding yet another dissapoinment to there lives. Its a somber thought and hopefully one we all think of before we do anything .
For my own part any group activity I will gladly join in with , I dont think this is similar to Pauls school help in that you collect and then send money or goods. what is being suggested her is that adults will make a difference in a childs life directly by giving them company ,days out and hopefully some kind of believe that the world is a good place to live in and not all saddness .Its a lot of responsibilty and as with any responsability you need to understand what you are taking on . Maybe if members are interested in doing this then when Ray has been to meet the principles at the home it would be an idea to have a meeting of those of us who are interested in helping in some ways.
You know I think you and your girlfriend are right this ain't lite weight stuff folks.
If you are going to consider this keep in mind it is a long term commitment, so move very slowly in this make sure it is something you are willing to give of your time on.
Maybe we could do this with several children involved with more then one of us, I don't know it's pretty hard to get people together for whatever reason. But it's like everything you don't know until you try.
As to the dangers to us, that is no joke, it is very real so you must set limits for yourself.
First both myself and the original poster are retired cops we know what can happen if you are stupid about this. So take it easy, don't rush.
I have no idea about what to do about the other kids out there, but I can also say it is not just farrangs that try to help, Thai's help as well. Persoanally I will be lloking for a lot of guidance from the staff out there, they are professional and they know the kids and the best approach to doing this.
One of the things that I think everyone needs to be aware of is these are not neccesarily kids without families, many have parents or distant relatives.
Well everything I say at this point is conjecture as I learn I will share that with you as I'm sure my friend will as well. I have no intention of going into this blindly and would hope that no one else does either.
If you are going to consider this keep in mind it is a long term commitment, so move very slowly in this make sure it is something you are willing to give of your time on.
Maybe we could do this with several children involved with more then one of us, I don't know it's pretty hard to get people together for whatever reason. But it's like everything you don't know until you try.
As to the dangers to us, that is no joke, it is very real so you must set limits for yourself.
First both myself and the original poster are retired cops we know what can happen if you are stupid about this. So take it easy, don't rush.
I have no idea about what to do about the other kids out there, but I can also say it is not just farrangs that try to help, Thai's help as well. Persoanally I will be lloking for a lot of guidance from the staff out there, they are professional and they know the kids and the best approach to doing this.
One of the things that I think everyone needs to be aware of is these are not neccesarily kids without families, many have parents or distant relatives.
Well everything I say at this point is conjecture as I learn I will share that with you as I'm sure my friend will as well. I have no intention of going into this blindly and would hope that no one else does either.
Ok back from my visit with some ground rules for us:;
First things first the way you find it is in on The Khan Kean highway. Look for the new Ford Dealership on the right. When you see the Highway Police Check Point it is located right next to that it appears they are working on the sign.
These are the things that will be allowed at this point give them money, in one for or another.
Visit the kids there on Saturday or Sunday and bring food or treats for them.
My wife said they would allow the children to leave in groups of ten or twenty. I didn't hear that, but I'm sure my wife speaks better Thai then I do.
Money not for me, there is not a Thai school or a orgnazation that does not view us for funding and we will never stop thier budget problems. So I really see very little value in that.
Going there and bringing treats I will try that to a point, to see how things go. I have really mixed feelings about that. I'm not really sure that it sends the right message to these children about us, the money side again.
First everyone of us lives in different circumstances, my wife is essentaily an orphan herself, raised by a distant aunt, which may be why she really dosen't understand relationships, dont know. But she was not part of a small family unit, If the wife and I found a child that we could love and the child could learn to love us, we would probably adopt. She is not going to have children with me.
So going there and getting to know the children was not far off from my plan. But you need to see how you and they interact ,not within the institution to make that determination. Because for most that is all they know and they have never had exposure to a home invoirnment. The truth is they may be happy in a small home or they may not. What may make them happy is living with a few hundred people.
As to taking 10 or 20 out, I'm still one person there is no way I could supervise a group like that alone let alone the language problems. Then of course you have to deal with transportation as well. Again beyond the scope of what I can do alone.
I can understand everyone of thier rules and why they are in place it's for the childrens protection. I spent three years of my career as a watch commander in a jail, I've seen the effect of what this can do to people when there is always someone there to tell them what they are going to do all the time and they no longer can or are required to make decesions. Then you throw them out and they have not got a clue of what to do next.
My vision of succesfully raising a child goes beyond the clothes basic needs and giving them love, To me it also means preparing them for the real world they have to function in, learning how to make the decesions that determine thier futures. Under the current guidelines they live in now I don't see how they could possibly learn that, but you know me, I have been know to be wrong before.
At this juncture I can not recommend fund raising, it's not a money problem. They have thier needs as to food, housing, medical needs and clothing met.
My plan at this juncture is to continue but slowly and to go out there with a tub of Ice Cream as my friend suggested, but not with 4500 Bhat for the entire facilites lunch as the man we met with suggested. Then I will see where this leads it is either something I can or I can not do, until I try I just won't know.
Maybe organizing a field trip of sorts could be a possibilty, but that is not something I can do alone.
That is how I see things if you have an interest please do not settle with my evalaution, you may see things much differently, go and see for yourself.
I hate to say this but I can't really say that the man we spoke with today offered many positives in our contact with him. But this is about the kids not the administartor so I'm not throwing in the towel just yet.
I will continue to post my experiences
First things first the way you find it is in on The Khan Kean highway. Look for the new Ford Dealership on the right. When you see the Highway Police Check Point it is located right next to that it appears they are working on the sign.
These are the things that will be allowed at this point give them money, in one for or another.
Visit the kids there on Saturday or Sunday and bring food or treats for them.
My wife said they would allow the children to leave in groups of ten or twenty. I didn't hear that, but I'm sure my wife speaks better Thai then I do.
Money not for me, there is not a Thai school or a orgnazation that does not view us for funding and we will never stop thier budget problems. So I really see very little value in that.
Going there and bringing treats I will try that to a point, to see how things go. I have really mixed feelings about that. I'm not really sure that it sends the right message to these children about us, the money side again.
First everyone of us lives in different circumstances, my wife is essentaily an orphan herself, raised by a distant aunt, which may be why she really dosen't understand relationships, dont know. But she was not part of a small family unit, If the wife and I found a child that we could love and the child could learn to love us, we would probably adopt. She is not going to have children with me.
So going there and getting to know the children was not far off from my plan. But you need to see how you and they interact ,not within the institution to make that determination. Because for most that is all they know and they have never had exposure to a home invoirnment. The truth is they may be happy in a small home or they may not. What may make them happy is living with a few hundred people.
As to taking 10 or 20 out, I'm still one person there is no way I could supervise a group like that alone let alone the language problems. Then of course you have to deal with transportation as well. Again beyond the scope of what I can do alone.
I can understand everyone of thier rules and why they are in place it's for the childrens protection. I spent three years of my career as a watch commander in a jail, I've seen the effect of what this can do to people when there is always someone there to tell them what they are going to do all the time and they no longer can or are required to make decesions. Then you throw them out and they have not got a clue of what to do next.
My vision of succesfully raising a child goes beyond the clothes basic needs and giving them love, To me it also means preparing them for the real world they have to function in, learning how to make the decesions that determine thier futures. Under the current guidelines they live in now I don't see how they could possibly learn that, but you know me, I have been know to be wrong before.
At this juncture I can not recommend fund raising, it's not a money problem. They have thier needs as to food, housing, medical needs and clothing met.
My plan at this juncture is to continue but slowly and to go out there with a tub of Ice Cream as my friend suggested, but not with 4500 Bhat for the entire facilites lunch as the man we met with suggested. Then I will see where this leads it is either something I can or I can not do, until I try I just won't know.
Maybe organizing a field trip of sorts could be a possibilty, but that is not something I can do alone.
That is how I see things if you have an interest please do not settle with my evalaution, you may see things much differently, go and see for yourself.
I hate to say this but I can't really say that the man we spoke with today offered many positives in our contact with him. But this is about the kids not the administartor so I'm not throwing in the towel just yet.
I will continue to post my experiences
i think if you go into it thinking adoption then that is what will probably happen . your not one to do things by half are you? Actuely g/f and I are about the same but Im not at all sure I would want to adopt. My two sons cost me a fortune, broke my heart on occasions and Im still trying to teach the pair of them . I should be lying back now and they should be bringing me black label and coke.. Dream on . Anyway if that is what we can do at present then fr what its worht you can count me and g/f in . We could visit as a four if you wish . G/f knows the place, apparently next to old peoples home she tells me while adding less trouble going to see old people , she is however willing to come along and see how it goes which Im sure is what we would all be doing . All depends I guess Ray if you want company or not . if so then let me know where and when and we will jog along with tub of ice cream or maybe even Jelly.
-
BangkokButcher
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 2690
- Joined: July 4, 2005, 9:06 pm
- Contact:
-
hxjohn
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 560
- Joined: September 22, 2005, 10:27 am
- Location: uk and thailand
- Contact:
good post
I am enjoying reading this post its seems ray is and others are taking a real interest in other less fortunate then themselves
Children are after all the future
There are kids that really do need all are help life is too short to worry about petty things when there is real need in the world
I wish you luck if you do decide to adopt a child ray
Children are after all the future
There are kids that really do need all are help life is too short to worry about petty things when there is real need in the world
I wish you luck if you do decide to adopt a child ray
Well John it's just pay back time I came from a very poor family of migrant fruit workers had people not helped us at times I doubt that I would have been able to achieve as much a I did.
I really couldn't think like this in the states didn't have enough to take care of what was needed to care for my own and help others to any real extent. Here I do simply because it doesn't take as much.
But there is much to think about primarily my wifes thoughts th reality I'm 59 the wife is 32, good chance she would finish this without me in the picture.
Emotionally I see a good for her and the child they both would have family that would not exist otherwise. A very important apect in Thai life.
We already differ in thinking, I'm thinking in terms of under five closer to three actually, she is thinking in terms of ten. I understand she thinks it will be easier wth a child ten. Having raised three teenagers already, I think it would be better to start with a child that is less developed and try to instill traits and desireabel behaviors, that would fit better with our family.
The other thing to think about is it is not always smooth sailing for the wife and I. But it's been three years she is not going anywhere. I kick moan and scream from time to time but in reality I suppose I would have gone if I was going to. The last thing I want to do is bring a child into another broken home. To be honest I think that is a very remote possibilty.
Changes to lifestye is another aspect to consider, getting up early to get the munchkin off to school is probably going to be the biggy. Te school activities and such I see a a plus. I will still be able to escape for my bike rides from time to time. Heck Thai get four or more on a 125 I shoudl be able to get three on a 750
So probably not really that big of an adjustment really.
Financially I think all will be OK even when I'm not in the picture any longer, the wife gets a lifetime retirement of 25k a month, from the VA when I die and I think our social security system will help with the child until she is 18, add a bit of life inurance and make sure there are no bills things should be just fine. I'm hoping for at least another ten, which would be sufficient to handle all the money issues. In the interim there's already is enough life insurance to pay off all the bills. So I think we are set in that department.
The most important aspect is will the three of us be able to form a loving home. so it's slowly very slowly and carefully.
I'm hoping these visits go well for the children and us, if we adopt are not we will see. If it turns out to be no more then a money thing, then I doubt that it will. But if we can give a little happiness based on caring then I see it to be a very good thing. Won't know until I try.
I really couldn't think like this in the states didn't have enough to take care of what was needed to care for my own and help others to any real extent. Here I do simply because it doesn't take as much.
But there is much to think about primarily my wifes thoughts th reality I'm 59 the wife is 32, good chance she would finish this without me in the picture.
Emotionally I see a good for her and the child they both would have family that would not exist otherwise. A very important apect in Thai life.
We already differ in thinking, I'm thinking in terms of under five closer to three actually, she is thinking in terms of ten. I understand she thinks it will be easier wth a child ten. Having raised three teenagers already, I think it would be better to start with a child that is less developed and try to instill traits and desireabel behaviors, that would fit better with our family.
The other thing to think about is it is not always smooth sailing for the wife and I. But it's been three years she is not going anywhere. I kick moan and scream from time to time but in reality I suppose I would have gone if I was going to. The last thing I want to do is bring a child into another broken home. To be honest I think that is a very remote possibilty.
Changes to lifestye is another aspect to consider, getting up early to get the munchkin off to school is probably going to be the biggy. Te school activities and such I see a a plus. I will still be able to escape for my bike rides from time to time. Heck Thai get four or more on a 125 I shoudl be able to get three on a 750
So probably not really that big of an adjustment really.Financially I think all will be OK even when I'm not in the picture any longer, the wife gets a lifetime retirement of 25k a month, from the VA when I die and I think our social security system will help with the child until she is 18, add a bit of life inurance and make sure there are no bills things should be just fine. I'm hoping for at least another ten, which would be sufficient to handle all the money issues. In the interim there's already is enough life insurance to pay off all the bills. So I think we are set in that department.
The most important aspect is will the three of us be able to form a loving home. so it's slowly very slowly and carefully.
I'm hoping these visits go well for the children and us, if we adopt are not we will see. If it turns out to be no more then a money thing, then I doubt that it will. But if we can give a little happiness based on caring then I see it to be a very good thing. Won't know until I try.
Orphanage
Hi Ray ,good to see that you found something worthwhile to keep your mind of petty daily life problems .
Keep on doing the back ground research . I am with you on this when I come back next month .
As far as group activities is concered: We did a facepainting/balloon popping/icecream party a few month ago in our local kindergarten near Nong Wua So . What a blast. I still have a lot of Halloween facepaint left ,we could do this again .I engaged a bunch of high school girls (and Katoys) to do the facepainting ,conducting the game activities etc . I was kept busy eating all the leftover ice cream . Was a nice day for everybody ,I am sure the kids in the orphanage have never seen facepaint.
Keep on doing the back ground research . I am with you on this when I come back next month .
As far as group activities is concered: We did a facepainting/balloon popping/icecream party a few month ago in our local kindergarten near Nong Wua So . What a blast. I still have a lot of Halloween facepaint left ,we could do this again .I engaged a bunch of high school girls (and Katoys) to do the facepainting ,conducting the game activities etc . I was kept busy eating all the leftover ice cream . Was a nice day for everybody ,I am sure the kids in the orphanage have never seen facepaint.
Well I should be able to get a better idea tomorrow, my friend has more experience at this so I followed his lead on the Ice Cream.
The face painting and games seems great but remember there are 230 of the little critters
If we did something out there and just spent time with even if was only once a month, at least they would know someone is thinking about them and taking time to be with them.
I also thought about seeing if we could get some people to pay for 4Th of July tickets and volunteer for transporation and supevision, that would be a good field trip.
That would actually help in two ways, in that it would give fund raising to the VFW this was used in the past to fund the Chritmas Party which is free. That event is free to the community so at that juncture it would just be getting there they would eat , meet Santa and get individual Christmas persents.
But thing like this would require vounteers to get them there and help supervise them.
But only if there admin will approave the trip.
On the 4th trip I could pop for two books of tickets that would 3K baht, that should provide tickets for 18 and one for the wife and I each. But that would be the limit of what I could afford at the moment. So the I would definetly need help on that one. who knows maybe the city could help with transportation. We would actually get double use of the money if we took them to the Christmas party.
The other thing that may be do able would be to take the local guys and ladies out from the bike group and put on a Thia style BBQ, for them I sure they would get a kick out seeing the big bikes, that would get the Thai involved a well
But these are all things that the admin would have to approve, So I'm going to try to get out there the next two weekends so they know us and then ask about these things. I think after he sees we ar just old retired guys that are trying to help in a different way he might just losen up a bit.
Just out of curiousty, is there anyone out ther that is willing to help with either:
Transporatation
Supervision
Or buy tickets for the kids
The tickets are 150 Baht each.
It would be nice to know when I approach admin that we can really deliver
This might get us a closer to getting as many of the kids involved a possible, as some have suggested, just can't do it by myself.
Some of the kids are infants and they wouldn't be able to do this, so I'm not sure of an actual count of the number tickets involved, but it owuld be one for person including those supervising.
So if you want to help let me know, or I won't even approach the guy with it, this one I'm comfortable with simply because I know the money used will go directly to the kids benefit.
The face painting and games seems great but remember there are 230 of the little critters
If we did something out there and just spent time with even if was only once a month, at least they would know someone is thinking about them and taking time to be with them.
I also thought about seeing if we could get some people to pay for 4Th of July tickets and volunteer for transporation and supevision, that would be a good field trip.
That would actually help in two ways, in that it would give fund raising to the VFW this was used in the past to fund the Chritmas Party which is free. That event is free to the community so at that juncture it would just be getting there they would eat , meet Santa and get individual Christmas persents.
But thing like this would require vounteers to get them there and help supervise them.
But only if there admin will approave the trip.
On the 4th trip I could pop for two books of tickets that would 3K baht, that should provide tickets for 18 and one for the wife and I each. But that would be the limit of what I could afford at the moment. So the I would definetly need help on that one. who knows maybe the city could help with transportation. We would actually get double use of the money if we took them to the Christmas party.
The other thing that may be do able would be to take the local guys and ladies out from the bike group and put on a Thia style BBQ, for them I sure they would get a kick out seeing the big bikes, that would get the Thai involved a well
But these are all things that the admin would have to approve, So I'm going to try to get out there the next two weekends so they know us and then ask about these things. I think after he sees we ar just old retired guys that are trying to help in a different way he might just losen up a bit.
Just out of curiousty, is there anyone out ther that is willing to help with either:
Transporatation
Supervision
Or buy tickets for the kids
The tickets are 150 Baht each.
It would be nice to know when I approach admin that we can really deliver
This might get us a closer to getting as many of the kids involved a possible, as some have suggested, just can't do it by myself.
Some of the kids are infants and they wouldn't be able to do this, so I'm not sure of an actual count of the number tickets involved, but it owuld be one for person including those supervising.
So if you want to help let me know, or I won't even approach the guy with it, this one I'm comfortable with simply because I know the money used will go directly to the kids benefit.
Orphange
Hi Ray,
contact the VFW ,they prob .would not mind to give us a discount on the tickets (say Baht 100 each--count me in for Baht 2000. )
BTW the party is on the 2nd of July at Nong Prajac. I only will arrive on the 3rd,sorry ,cant help out with supervision on that occasion.
Jay
contact the VFW ,they prob .would not mind to give us a discount on the tickets (say Baht 100 each--count me in for Baht 2000. )
BTW the party is on the 2nd of July at Nong Prajac. I only will arrive on the 3rd,sorry ,cant help out with supervision on that occasion.
Jay
Boy thats to bad, I think Harry will be catering agian this year. I beleive that has to be up for a vote in thier June Meeting.
Thats a good idea but they will need funding for the Christmas party, which is a totaly free event so I really hate to ask them to do that.
The light finally went on maybe since they are requiring us to take out large group the orphanage may supply supervision.
If that is the case then it's would be down to buying tickets and transporatation. If that ends up being twenty then that is what could be done and thats OK.
You know it is not that I don't want to see funding given I just want to make sure that the money goes directly to the children, for something above what they are already receiving.
You know there is a old story floating around I don't believe about this group that the VFW was supplying weekly rice to an orphanage to avoid graft only to find out that the head guy was turning around and selling the rice and putting the money in his pocket. I'm really trying to see ways to make sure nothing like that happens. Again it's a story I wasn't there so I don't know but being careful in money matters here I believe us very important. So I'm trying to see ways to benefit the kids bring them some joy where we have direct contol on how the money is used.
So we will do what we can do.
Thats a good idea but they will need funding for the Christmas party, which is a totaly free event so I really hate to ask them to do that.
The light finally went on maybe since they are requiring us to take out large group the orphanage may supply supervision.
If that is the case then it's would be down to buying tickets and transporatation. If that ends up being twenty then that is what could be done and thats OK.
You know it is not that I don't want to see funding given I just want to make sure that the money goes directly to the children, for something above what they are already receiving.
You know there is a old story floating around I don't believe about this group that the VFW was supplying weekly rice to an orphanage to avoid graft only to find out that the head guy was turning around and selling the rice and putting the money in his pocket. I'm really trying to see ways to make sure nothing like that happens. Again it's a story I wasn't there so I don't know but being careful in money matters here I believe us very important. So I'm trying to see ways to benefit the kids bring them some joy where we have direct contol on how the money is used.
So we will do what we can do.
-
valentine
Just some personal experiences to make everone think. Many years ago I sponsored a 6 year old girl at the Pattaya orphanage. She was severely brain damaged and needed regular medical attention to drain water off her swollen brain. My sponsorship paid for all that, whenever I was in town I went to see her. The nursing staff told me I was the only person that seemed to get through her misty brain. The only person she would raise herself to her feet for in her cot. Inevitably after extending her little life for 3 years, she died. I was heartbroken, so much so I wouldn't finance any single child again but continued to give donations to the orphanage for them to use as they thought best.I eventually met and married a Thai lady who used to visit along with me. she wanted to adopt a mixed race child. I made all the necessary enquiries and it was a very complicated proceedure. I finally decided that wasn't the way we should go and kept on with my general donations. Five years later , my wife and I parted. Now wasn't that good luck that we didn't take that child and submit her to all those emotions of parting again?In the meantime I bought a cement mixer which they used as a washing machine, far stronger and bigger than a real one.That benefitted everyone, staff and kids.I always remember Father Ray, the Catholic priest in charge, telling me about a rich Thai man that happened to pop in to make merit for himself, he owned a landscape company. He laid an extensive area in front with trees and grass.must have cost a fortune. it was dead within 2 months. The orphanage couldn't afford the water to keep it alive. As Father said, how much more useful if only he had given the money.My point is the orphanage know best how to improve the kids lives, its their job. give them the money to do it. Let them buy an old bus to take the kids out. Let them choose which kids to take.
We all have kindhearts and good intentions but they are the ones who know best.Most of all don't let emotions mislead common sense. If you have any doubt about your own relationship, and don't we all from time to time, don't take chances with a young childs emotions.
You must all do as you think best, but its not all as simple as it may seem.
Consider the kid first.
We all have kindhearts and good intentions but they are the ones who know best.Most of all don't let emotions mislead common sense. If you have any doubt about your own relationship, and don't we all from time to time, don't take chances with a young childs emotions.
You must all do as you think best, but its not all as simple as it may seem.
Consider the kid first.
Val I think your thoughts and approach are valid, no doubt about it. But to think you gave that child three years of something it was missing and would probably would never have experienced had you not taken that chance
Yep devoirces happen and do to natural children as well. Simply a part of life. But they have at least experienced something different. But each to his own.
Where we differ I don't want to be just a money factor any longer, I want to be involved at whatever level I can. So I will continue, you know my dad died when I wa 14, I still have cherished memories I would much rather have suffered that loss, then to have never experienced my time with him. But we each look at things differently and I think it is important that each of us follow our own hearts in these matters.
Ok we did the ice cream thing today went great and it was fun for all including us. These kids are sharp some spied the ice cream container and were at a dead run before we got set up. others had to be called.
There were many that caught my eye in thier actions, but the one that stood out was a I think five year old, very quiet, wouldn't even get in line. I went over and got her and put her in line. Long story short before it was over that skinny kid scarfed down four ice cream cones. Boy if there is not a tummy ache there tonight I would be real surprised. The other thing once she had her fill that was it, she just toddled off. Definetly a no nonsence gal
Without a doubt that were all clean and polite, but this was the first time they had seen us. You will never know what a kid is really like until they get comfortble around you.
I think we may have seen 60 or 70 kids I think when they give you the 290 figure they are talking about the total responsibility of the center. They also have foster homes they send the kids to that they pay 2K month to each family for caring for the child.
We got a little more feed back form Mr. Supat, the administrator that we talked to before. A lot more friendly approach then we saw the first day. He was talking in terms of 4 or 5 kids along with an employee, for an outing. That is doable for an individual so I was happy to hear about it and I was happy to hear about a member of the staff coming along.
We spoke about the 4Th of July event and they will provide staff help to with the kids, so the only thing that remains on that one are the tickets and transporation. So that is doable on some level.
The other thing I noticed today is the kid really didn't seem to be selfish, that one surprised me , they were sharing with each other.
Once everone had gone thrugh the line once they began coming back for two cones each then they would jam them together with the cone sticking out each side. Hey they were kids and they were haivng fun, but everyone got as much a they wanted and nothing was waisted.
You know it is very dificult to give you my first impressions, there were around 70 little individuals out there each doing what came naturally to them.
One thing I noticed was that several just latched onto my wife, I'm not even sure she noticed it but I did. I have to be careful in describing this one one little girl sit right next to the wife and about four others were gathered around the table. She look at the little girl looking for lice, within minutes. every kid at that table was checking thier friends out and picking head lice. They ar kids so I'm sure they have thier moments, but they sure were caring for eachother today.
When we arrrived we saw that most were doing thier laundry and such, so I think we provided a good break for them.
We asked about sport equipment and they seem to be doing OK. the only thing that seemed to be missing were some bycicles.
I took some photos don't know if I can figure out a way to post them or not, but I will try.
The entire thing didn't last more then a couple of hours, it seemed to me to be a good break for them and certianly was for us as well.
We are going to try to give them a few hours a week at this point and see where it leads us.
Any questions feel free if I don't have the answer and I probably won't I will try to ask. But this experience was very positive.
No telling what I forgot to mention about this today, there was a lot to absorb.
Yep devoirces happen and do to natural children as well. Simply a part of life. But they have at least experienced something different. But each to his own.
Where we differ I don't want to be just a money factor any longer, I want to be involved at whatever level I can. So I will continue, you know my dad died when I wa 14, I still have cherished memories I would much rather have suffered that loss, then to have never experienced my time with him. But we each look at things differently and I think it is important that each of us follow our own hearts in these matters.
Ok we did the ice cream thing today went great and it was fun for all including us. These kids are sharp some spied the ice cream container and were at a dead run before we got set up. others had to be called.
There were many that caught my eye in thier actions, but the one that stood out was a I think five year old, very quiet, wouldn't even get in line. I went over and got her and put her in line. Long story short before it was over that skinny kid scarfed down four ice cream cones. Boy if there is not a tummy ache there tonight I would be real surprised. The other thing once she had her fill that was it, she just toddled off. Definetly a no nonsence gal
Without a doubt that were all clean and polite, but this was the first time they had seen us. You will never know what a kid is really like until they get comfortble around you.
I think we may have seen 60 or 70 kids I think when they give you the 290 figure they are talking about the total responsibility of the center. They also have foster homes they send the kids to that they pay 2K month to each family for caring for the child.
We got a little more feed back form Mr. Supat, the administrator that we talked to before. A lot more friendly approach then we saw the first day. He was talking in terms of 4 or 5 kids along with an employee, for an outing. That is doable for an individual so I was happy to hear about it and I was happy to hear about a member of the staff coming along.
We spoke about the 4Th of July event and they will provide staff help to with the kids, so the only thing that remains on that one are the tickets and transporation. So that is doable on some level.
The other thing I noticed today is the kid really didn't seem to be selfish, that one surprised me , they were sharing with each other.
Once everone had gone thrugh the line once they began coming back for two cones each then they would jam them together with the cone sticking out each side. Hey they were kids and they were haivng fun, but everyone got as much a they wanted and nothing was waisted.
You know it is very dificult to give you my first impressions, there were around 70 little individuals out there each doing what came naturally to them.
One thing I noticed was that several just latched onto my wife, I'm not even sure she noticed it but I did. I have to be careful in describing this one one little girl sit right next to the wife and about four others were gathered around the table. She look at the little girl looking for lice, within minutes. every kid at that table was checking thier friends out and picking head lice. They ar kids so I'm sure they have thier moments, but they sure were caring for eachother today.
When we arrrived we saw that most were doing thier laundry and such, so I think we provided a good break for them.
We asked about sport equipment and they seem to be doing OK. the only thing that seemed to be missing were some bycicles.
I took some photos don't know if I can figure out a way to post them or not, but I will try.
The entire thing didn't last more then a couple of hours, it seemed to me to be a good break for them and certianly was for us as well.
We are going to try to give them a few hours a week at this point and see where it leads us.
Any questions feel free if I don't have the answer and I probably won't I will try to ask. But this experience was very positive.
No telling what I forgot to mention about this today, there was a lot to absorb.
-
valentine