Udon Girls Orphanage

Post by **Bump** » May 28, 2006, 10:07 am

You know Val I really did understand what you were saying in the first post. Believe me at this juncture it's slowly and carefully. I really have two things I'm trying to accomplish at this point one spend a few hours a week out there with the kids.

Secondly get a many as I can to the VFW picnic, which is seeming easier then what I was anticipating.

So slow as it goes at the moment, trust me on this one, that few hours we spent there yesterday I got a lot more then I gave.

If everything was perfect and it is not, picking a child to adopt will not be an easy process, besides the legal problems and there will probably be a lot. Just deciding which one out of so many, smiling faces that want a home. Is a chore that I'm not sure I can do.

I am finding out there are otherways to do things, such a foster parenting. I have done that in the states, my foster son is now an engineer has his own family and doing very well in Government in the states. Do we sit and have long chats, no, but it was a true privilalage to give him a start and he earned the rest from there.

So I expect you to show up at bowling I need a trip briefing

Post by **Bump** » May 31, 2006, 8:44 pm

Well the plan is to go back out this Saturday for a hour or so, this time the wife will pick up some treats for the kids I haven't a clue as to what that means

We should be there around 1:00 P.M.

Post by **Alagrl** » June 1, 2006, 1:03 am

A comment on emotional involvement and the potential for hurt or pain...

One thing I've had to learn (the hard way, which is how most of my life lessons come) is that one must be willing to experience the lows in order to fully appreciate the highs. The times I've tried to protect myself from pain seem to throw me into periods of numbness.

My son's pediatrician told me years ago that he had experienced the same thing in deadening himself against the pain of losing a child patient. Finally, after a pretty severe depression, he woke up and realized that only in allowing himself to grieve could he fully engage in the joy of his other patients.

Post by **loytoy** » June 1, 2006, 5:53 pm

TC wrote:I hope the orphanage does some screening on the volunteers. Fore sure you would not be allowed to do elsewhere in the world.

TC

Sounds very redckless to me. On the other hand plan UK who I have sponsored an Udon child with for 8 years are too extreme. Now not only do they always want a UK police check and copy of passport but if thai mrs goes (schoolteacher) they want her to go to the police station and have her fingerprints taken. You can imagine what she said when I told her=no visit for child. I have done it three times on my own, but they get stricter each time. This is just for a house visit accompanied at all times by plan staff, no way do they ever let people take the child out for the day. Thinking of bypassing plan altogether next visit.

Post by **AussieBoy** » June 1, 2006, 6:29 pm

Is this the same girls home at Ban Khao San, that Openminded projects sponsor

Kally

Post by **Bump** » June 1, 2006, 6:38 pm

Ok guys see your point, but here are the facts it is thier facility, it is in Thailand and they do the way they want to do it.

That being said from my point of view I don't want unsupervised visits, until I'm comfortable with the system. I know what I will do and won't do. So my background check from my end is done. The only veriable comes from the other direction, so supervised visits at the facility are just fine with me at the moment.

When I try to do the field trip for the VFW picnic I want thier staff there and have been told tht is exactly what will happen.

I don't see that they are being reckless at all, my friend was able to take child for a visit, because they are friends with a member of the board who has known them for years. Pretty hard to get a better background check then that.

Udon is a very small town in a lot of ways, we are topics for the Thia's this community knows a lot about each of us who live here. You won't be here very long before you will be pegged as a party animal or as they put a good man.

Today after been married for three years if I go into town Thai's I don't even know will ask me where my wife is if I'm alone.

Having Police records checked will tell you very little about a persons character, the only thing it qwill tell you is if he or she has been caught at something. The neighbors are the ones who can give you the real information about how a person conducts his life.

A background check without an investigator in the field verifying information and checking the closets in not an effective check.

So I would say that nehtier of the methods presented are iron clad by any means. You know my purpose in doing this was not evaluate thier system it was simply to try to add a bit of joy to the kids life.

So I'm going back out Saturday with some goodies for them see all of them in a supervised setting . Continue to work at getting as many as I can to that VFW 4th of July picnic.

You know I've said all along we all got to follow our own hearts in these kind of things, it is what it is and I will work within the guidelines I'm given.

For the guy who sponsors a child here, hope you and your wife get to spend sometime with the child. I doubt the child understands the money, but I would be willing to bet they understand a caring person. You should be proud of yourself for going outside the box and giving as and when you can. This would probably be a lot different world if there were more like you. I applaud you for doing what you can

Post by **loytoy** » June 1, 2006, 7:07 pm

I agree with some level of checking to weed out the ****'s as much as possible but Plan are almost paranoid about the possibilty. A police check for the past six months at least eliminates any sex offences found guilty of.
To people donating money I would say best to give it direct to the institiution. I donated 14.000 baht to the local school through plan UK but on visiting the next year was dismayed to learn they had never received any of it. After getting home I kicked up a fuss and was told the local office in KK still had it. They got it after over a year. Money given direct to the school gets spent straight away and at least you know they've had it.

Post by **Bump** » June 1, 2006, 8:12 pm

Thats the correct name Aussie boy.

I think the approach they are taking now is just fine a far a I'm concerned. As I said I haeve no wish for a unsupervised visit. If at some point I feel the need to adopt I would probably would want more the that, but that is a big move and at the moment this is just fine.

I do want to make something very clear I'm not soliciting donations from anyone. I will do the best I can on funding myself. To me this is giving something on the level I can directly to the childern. There are many other needs I'm sure.

It sounds like if anyone wanted to help with a donation Ausie Boy would know a lot ,more about that then I do. So maybe asking him for direction in that area would be a much better idea.

Fo me I'm trying to do a bit more then just give money, but I'm here I have the time and some personal funds that I can use to help, in my way.

Ausie Boy want to fill in the blanks?

Post by **rjb** » June 1, 2006, 9:55 pm

Without casting any dispersions on any one in any organization or agency in Thailand giving money is generally a bad idea. If you want to do something, find out what is wanted/needed and buy it and present it yourself or in the name of your organization if appropriate. Every morning in the BKK Post, online, there is one or more stories of fraud and corruption, it seems to be a cultural way of life.

Post by **Bump** » June 1, 2006, 10:51 pm

Boy has anyone noticed that this thread seems to be going the same way Pauls did, I was really trying to avoid that. So let me give my original intent again as I must have not expressed it properly. That was simple if you want to do something the organization and need is there. Met a guy today who took out a load of pampers they need them they have infants there

If you recall I did not recommend donating money, why because my first impresion of the man I talked to it was all about money, made me very uncomfortable now maybe that will change as we learn to know each other, not yet.

That being said if Aussie Boy knows of a safe way to give money and that is all that you can do because of distances invileved then gerat if not nothing has changes on the money end unless there is a safe and established way of doing it, in my mind.

To be homnest I wouldn't mind taking the time to go buy a few things in someone elses name and take it to them, but as you all realize Paul was put under a lot of pressure. I don't really want that I like a nice peaceful life. It is one of those darned if you do and darned if you don't.

I don't want to cut anyone out that has a desire to help, but on the other hand I don't want to answer to a group of people either.

The kids have lodging they have food, they have clothes they look healthy, I haven't seen the school yet, but I'm willing to bet it is as good as any public school in the area. So I think those needs are being met. could they use money heck who couldn't.

What I don't see is people offering a little care, simple jestures , like the ice cream thing. For many of those kids all they know is the facility. So maybe field trips to the real world within the guidelines provided. I don't think they will release kid to someone until they know them even with supervision and then only in groups of four or five. But if want to do something like that you are going to have to spend time out there to be in the position to do it. I'm spending that time now.

It doesn't matter to me which kids go, they can pick them I don't have to.

Imagine taking five kids to the first movie they ever saw, it just takes a few hours to do domehting like that and not a lot of money. So you have to buy a movie ticket for a staff member, it's no big deal. Or how about a trip to Ban Chaing so they can see thier heritage, or a bowling alley, or the Musuem here in town. None of these things would take a lot of time nor money. Or a picniic at a lake there are any number of things that you could do to change thier world just a little.

Those are the thing that I was talking about, a little more difficult then what I originally thought, but I believe in the long run worth the effort.

I know that I can get 20 of them to the VFW 4th of July and I can do that without soliciting funds, maybe by the time the party comes about I can get 40 who knows depends on the baht in my jeans at the time maybe they can see something different, then living in the facility.

I doubt that I can take them all but maybe when the Chritmas party comes along I can take a different group. I know one thing I'm one person I can only do so much, but if I don't try I will never get anything done.

That was what I was really trying to accomplish, I obvioulsy as usual expressed myself poorly.

So let me say this agian if you want to do something then try, don't let my direction stop your ideas, this is just what I'm doing. There is a very smart group of people on here I'm sure you can come up with ideas.

If you think I an help you in some way PM me, I don't want to debate this I just want to help in whatever way I can. So if you have an idea kick it around with me if you would like if I can help you accomplish I will. If you want to notify the group of the activity then thats up to you.

I looked at this in the following manner it was something good for the kids and good for the facility, good for the indivdual doing it and good for our group on Udonmap and the community.

I will trudge along on my own, you guys want to visit just like bowling I will tell you when I'm going to be there after that as they say here up to you

Post by **rjb** » June 2, 2006, 8:52 am

Ray, when I spoke to Jeed, who does take a few to the park some evenings, she mentioned she had taken some to the movies in the past but stopped. Reason being that if one had to go to the toilet then everyone had to go, no one goes away alone. She said after a few times of having to gather them all up to go to the toilet 4 or 5 times during the movie she gave it up. Just a thought.

Post by **Bump** » June 2, 2006, 11:11 am

Sound like a good reason to buy a few tickets for staff memebers to me

Post by **rickfarang** » June 2, 2006, 11:53 am

Or is this something else, like them not wanting to be separated from their friends?

Post by **BKKSTAN** » June 3, 2006, 3:17 am

rjb wrote:Ray, when I spoke to Jeed, who does take a few to the park some evenings, she mentioned she had taken some to the movies in the past but stopped. Reason being that if one had to go to the toilet then everyone had to go, no one goes away alone. She said after a few times of having to gather them all up to go to the toilet 4 or 5 times during the movie she gave it up. Just a thought.

Might make a difference if you are taking them to movies versus taking them with you to the movies.

Post by **Bump** » June 3, 2006, 9:49 am

Is that something like who has got the football, remember they may be children but they are still Thai females, more then likely they will want to be driving the car, thank goodness for staff members

Actually movie was just an idea, there may be a lot of other activites that might be better suited.

What I have decided to do about the July 4th picnic, is I and Gulf Coast are supplying tickets, tye decide how many staff memebers and how many children, and who. I will find the tickets and the transportation.

I think that is the best way to make the decesions they know the kids better then I.

If you guys can think of some activites, for a group of four or five, say that could be done within a five hour time frame. cough em up

I'm trying to figure out how to meet my goal of at least two hours a week, nvolvemnt without all the sweetsm man what a dentist bill that is going to create

Post by **AussieBoy** » June 3, 2006, 11:58 am

I only ever Volunteer my service, as a English speaker with a trade background in construction diploma.

I visit Udon twice a year for 6 weeks each time and speak at the local schools mostly the Udon Thessaban schools, as well as a few out in the local reigon

I buy all my own teaching aids, and books, posters and mostly teach english to the students as a game, I work in with the teachers and go to school 5 days a weeks, no fee or payments.

I was kidnapped by one school principal at Ban tad, after he heard about me from his wife, who teachers at Thessaban 8, he came and got me one morning and said visit my school for the day, he arranged it with the number 8 school for the next 3 days, turned out to be untrue, after the number 8 school rang and ask if I was ok as they had not heard from me in 3 days.

I go as far north as Ban That out to Nong Han, the girls school of this topic and Nong wa Saw, all on my scooter with a big box straped to it with all my teaching aids.

My time is better spent with the kids than giving money, everyone wants money in Thailand. Its the thanks you get from the kids when they write a letter to you saying come back, or walking down the street in Udon and they yell out my name KALLY.

I teach english with song and games, that they remember, after the last year camp at Kalasin, the most words the 120 kids learnt during the camp , was not from the professional teachers who attended, but from my games and songs, most learnt around 18 new words over the long week end English Camp.

My budget for the trip to Udon return all accommodation and food teaching aids for the 6 weeks is 180.000 Baht, I have several boxes of teaching aids stored in Udon, and it gets bigger every year.

I generally spend about 30,000 baht each trip on new methods aids games toys that the kids can use to learn English, I speak to the class of students from year 1 to high school.

The girls school where Ray is going is trusting when you are there like most classes schools I go to, always wondered seems strange to leave a farang along with a class, has happened many times, I DON"T LIKE IT, and insist on a teacher being there.

I perfere to spend my time at the coal face, rather than give them cash, If you are wanting to help no experience needed just to speak english only is all you need, a few notes on paper, and many questions the kids will ask, In Aussie I teach construction to the local Aboriginals, second laungage is offen English

Any school will be glad to have you come once a week to speak english, and work with their english teacher.

Some prefere to give cash, I give my time, but always give to them direct, and ask what they need, and buy it for them. I have a wall of thankyou letters notes clocks books and gifts they give me for going to their school, now I tell then I need of nothing but the kids time to want to learn.

ChoW

Kally

Post by **Bump** » June 3, 2006, 2:58 pm

You know Kally I think that is great and like you, no don't leave me alone with kids. Now that there are some people are showing up, they seem to be tightening up things a bit. That is good, signing in and an escort anywhere you go. My experience was we had an escort each time we have been there, this is the first we were required to sign in. A good thing I believe.

I'm working towards a balance of a money activity and time. I know one thing next time I go it will fruits or something along the lines, not sweets

The one thing I have learned very well here is I am not a teacher.

I'm still in the learning stages of this and I will eventually after a lot of trial and error I assume what is the best approach that I can use.

We finally got a lady who talked with us today she was our escort, so I asked her what they really needed. answer soap for taking showers, shampoo. So I think I may balance some things out occasionally with items like that instead of candy.

The one thing that has escaped me so far is the actual number of children there one time it's 250, the next 290, today 200. I have never seen 200 children there and I know that. It's hard to plan anything when you don't know what to plan for. I think we saw about 90 today, I have no idea if the numbers they are giving me include infants, since we never see them.

One of the thing that does really amaze me is how many of these kids do have families.

We spoke to a 9 year old today who had been there for six weeks, has two other sisters and a brother, the other kids are in a facility in Khan Kean. We asked her is she was happy there she said yes that when she was at home boys watched her shower. I have no idea what that really means and I didn't pursue it any further, thats was not my busines, but it was good that she was content.

I definetly agree that money is not the approach that I want to take.

I will stumble my way through and learn

Post by **rickfarang** » June 3, 2006, 5:37 pm

" We asked her is she was happy there she said yes that when she was at home boys watched her shower. "

Mostly from stories, but also from some direct observation, there seem to be a number of Peeping Toms in my wife's home village. The opportunites arose you could see who was home by looking through the gaps between the boards as you walked past the house on the street. Of couse the ones on stilts had more privacy. That, and there was no street lighting.

In a girl's orphanage, the 9 year old you talked to woldn't have to worry about boys sneaking up and taking a look.

Post by **Bump** » June 3, 2006, 7:17 pm

Nope pretty short on that commodity, but the kid seemed to like that, given time that to will change

Post by **Isara** » June 8, 2006, 8:26 pm

Sa was dee, everyone.

I noticed this thread and thought what Ray and everyone is doing is great. Just don't get bogged down thinking too much. We farang do that and I'm sure each one of us has been told "Don't think too much." by a Thai person.

I have a small charity organization up in Nong Khai called Isara and we recently did something for the Boys Orphanage here. A few weeks ago (just before the new school term started) we had three buses go pick up the kids and take them to the mall to see Ice Age II: The Meltdown. Popcorn included. The entire event, with more than 105 kids and 5 chaperones, only cost about $90 (the movie theater owner always gives us a 50% discount). When the boys returned to the Orphanage they were surprised to find four new bicycles (one for each building) and, when they went to their beds, they found backpacks (with their names on them) filled with books and school supplies. They were so happy! As soon as the excitement wore down a big voice boomed on the PA system, "PIZZA!" and all the kids ran to the cafeteria to eat some pizza. What this project intended to do was to get the kids excited about the new school year and I think it worked. Reports from their school have been very positive.

http://www.isara.com/content/view/248/49/

Isara does not have a lot of money (our projects are funded from web traffic, just like Udonmap) so we get local Thai businesses and Thai people to donate as much as they can. We call it, "Local solutions for local problems." A farang hardly ever enters the picture, except when needed. We try to inspire Thai people to help as much as possible. Whenever we have a school renovation project we invite thai college students to come and help plant trees and paint.

The Girls Orphanage in Udon and the Boys Orphanage in Nong Khai are co-locations. Boys younger than 6 stay at the Girls home and when they turn 6 they must move to the Nong Khai orphanage. Isara will be creating projects in the Udon area in the next few months so please let me know if you have any ideas.

As far as what you all are discussing, I haven't read all the replies, but I think if you do anything with a Thai orphan then you should do what Ray did in his first post, and have a Thai friend go with you. Thais are comfortable around other Thais, just like we farang can always be found in groups.

Good luck with whatever you all decide to do. Please remember, "A wish changes nothing. A decision changes everything."

Kirk