ray23 wrote:Well John it's just pay back time I came from a very poor family of migrant fruit workers had people not helped us at times I doubt that I would have been able to achieve as much a I did.
I really couldn't think like this in the states didn't have enough to take care of what was needed to care for my own and help others to any real extent. Here I do simply because it doesn't take as much.
But there is much to think about primarily my wifes thoughts th reality I'm 59 the wife is 32, good chance she would finish this without me in the picture.
Emotionally I see a good for her and the child they both would have family that would not exist otherwise. A very important apect in Thai life.
We already differ in thinking, I'm thinking in terms of under five closer to three actually, she is thinking in terms of ten. I understand she thinks it will be easier wth a child ten. Having raised three teenagers already, I think it would be better to start with a child that is less developed and try to instill traits and desireabel behaviors, that would fit better with our family.
The other thing to think about is it is not always smooth sailing for the wife and I. But it's been three years she is not going anywhere. I kick moan and scream from time to time but in reality I suppose I would have gone if I was going to. The last thing I want to do is bring a child into another broken home. To be honest I think that is a very remote possibilty.
Changes to lifestye is another aspect to consider, getting up early to get the munchkin off to school is probably going to be the biggy. Te school activities and such I see a a plus. I will still be able to escape for my bike rides from time to time. Heck Thai get four or more on a 125 I shoudl be able to get three on a 750
So probably not really that big of an adjustment really.
Financially I think all will be OK even when I'm not in the picture any longer, the wife gets a lifetime retirement of 25k a month, from the VA when I die and I think our social security system will help with the child until she is 18, add a bit of life inurance and make sure there are no bills things should be just fine. I'm hoping for at least another ten, which would be sufficient to handle all the money issues. In the interim there's already is enough life insurance to pay off all the bills. So I think we are set in that department.
The most important aspect is will the three of us be able to form a loving home. so it's slowly very slowly and carefully.
I'm hoping these visits go well for the children and us, if we adopt are not we will see. If it turns out to be no more then a money thing, then I doubt that it will. But if we can give a little happiness based on caring then I see it to be a very good thing. Won't know until I try.
Ray,
1. Don't wont to bust your bubble but the wife won't get nothing from the VA unless you die from a service connected injury. Which the last time I spoke with you, you were not recieving any service connection from the VA. Unless this has changed. "She will get the min if you servied in a war zone and your DD Form 214 shows you were in that war zone. But, like the way the VA is you need to make sure that the wife has all of the papers to submit once you pass on". Example: your DD Form 214 which you need to check to see if it shows you were in Nam and you were awarded the Viet Nam service medal etc. Cover all your bases Ray when it comes to the VA. If not, they will find a loop hole to axe your wife.
1a. Might I suggest if you haven't already done so. Submit you marriage papers to the VA so that they know you are married. This will save a lot of time for your wife if you pass on. You will need to have it translated into English.
2. Social Security will not take care of your wife nor will she be able to collect on your Social Security benifits unless she has lived with you in the states for at least 10 years or worked in the states for 5 years. Now this is what I have been informed by the SS office in the states. At this point they won't even give her a number.
3. Social Security will not take care of a child if you adopt one here in Thailand unless you. (you can pick up this information at the Embassy in Bangkok)
3a. Apply for your child to become a US Citizen. A long and hard 4 year battle with the U.S. Government. Plus, and large $ investment.
3b. You and the child are living in the states and the state where you are living approves the adoption. Which you will have to adopt again in the states. It must be done in the US Court system.
Now if you adopt a child here in Thailand (WHICH I HAVE) and want a Social Security number you will need to follow the following: (Which is from the Social Security web site and hand book)
***If your child lives outside the United States, we can assign the child a Social Security number if the child is: (1) a U.S. citizen (your wife gave birth here in Thailand to your child) or (2) a noncitizen lawfully admitted to the United States for permanent residence. Otherwise, we can assign the child a number ONLY if a Social Security number is required by law as a condition of receiving a federally-funded benefits.
What they mean with reference to a federally-funded benefit. Example: If you are 100% service connected VA COMP- your wife and child gets CHAMP-VA medical insurence (this is called federally-funded benefits). Both will need a Social Security number. At that time you will need a letter from either the federally-funded agency or Champ VA stating that a Social Security number is needed for their program and at that time Social Security will issue a number. But, the card will say, NOT VALID FOR EMPLOYMENT.
I have gone through this and at this time the numbers are in and will be filing appeals for the benefits. Just remeber all of this takes time. But, what the heck were all retired and all we have is time. So, let the games begin. You know me, I like a battle.
Ray, I wish you the best if you and the wife plan on adopting a child. Which we have and enjoying every day being new parents. But, please don't expect all of the normal goodies to be a given to you by the US Government, cause they will not do so. You will have to fight to get them and this will take a lot of time. But, it's still worth adopting a child.
. That being said if I don't mess things up I'm sure they will be as happy as can be.
