A friend did this last weekend and I thought it was great, and maybe a way that could be one heck of a lot of fun to give back to the community, in a different way. Check it out:
We arrived before our supposed pickup time for the girl. She wasn't ready, the policy is not to tell the kid until we, or whoever, actually arrive so there is no disappointment if someone fails to show. Fair enough, she came within minutes of being told we were there. We started with a visit to our house where the first rule was explained to her. Tell us the truth and not what you think we want to hear (sure). Having explained that we took off on a bike ride. The extra helmet I have was way too big for her and a constant bother so we suspended wearing it. After a couple kms we asked her if she was tired, she said no. Remember the first rule above? We continued on finishing just over 6 km, a short ride for my wife and I but the kid was almost whipped. I failed to mention that I did buy a small frame Mongoose 24 speed and it was just on the edge of being too big for her. She had never ridden a multi speed but got alone quite well with it. Back to the house and a decision was made to go to the mall KFC. She had never eaten KFC but had eaten pizza once and didn't care for it. She said she had been to the mall once before. Well, we filled up on chicken burgers, fries and a new rice dish (nothing special about the rice dish). A trip to the 3rd flr bookshop for an English Thai dic and notebook. My wife needed to make a stop to take a Gifferine order, on to the pharmacy to pick up a med for a neighbor then on to Big C. By this time lunch had settled to the point we could hit Swenson's, another first for the kid. We still had some time left but she was full and tired and wanted to go back to the orphanage. There was a stop at the donut shop to buy something for her 2 younger sisters at the orphanage and we concluded our day. I think the kid was really overwhelmed by everything but said she would like to do this again. We told her we would take her at least one time a month and she was happy. It was a rewarding day for all of us. I was walking behind her and my wife in the mall and she was holding my wife's hand, it was precious. She has been at the orphanage 6 of her 12 years. Her mother came once, 4 years ago. Her grandmother comes twice a year and in fact was there last weekend to see her. Her father, an alcoholic samloor has never come to see her. The staff was happy that he doesn't for the obvious reasons and he has no house or place to take the kids. It was good therapy for all of us and I recommend it. The girl is very polite, helpful ( when we were leaving the house she turned off the fans without being asked and a couple other little things like that) and generally very pleasant to be with.
Udon Girls Orphanage
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rickfarang
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You know I wish I could take credit on that one, but it was my friend who wa wearing the white hat, not I. I was truly overwhelemd by what he did, like me and old grouchy retired cop. They obviously touched his heart.
He called today and aked If I would entertain going oput there once a moth and give a kid a breeal for the day. I talked with the wife about it, I didn't want to start this only to break thier hearts later. They don't get much in the form of people caring about them in anyway, other then the staff that works there. Yes the answer is yes is will find some weekend time to spend with some kids.
There are 230 little girls out that a little bit of kindness could go a long ways for, they range from infants to 18 year olds.
You know we have came up many times here in the community to help schools finacially, that needed it. You know the only way these kids could have less is if they were street people.
I haven't heard any pleas for money, but if you can find the time and it is in your heart to do so, taking an afternnon and showing a kid that they are not forgotten would be a wonderful experince for them and trust me for you to.
I have know about the place for about four years I'm ashamed to say, have even been out there a couple of times. Why I didn't think to do so a simple act of kindness I will never know.
In any event it is Khan Kean Highwy on the right leaving town not to far out, maybe someone has some better directions. Be prepared to spend some time with the staff and at the facility, before you can take a child out for the day. I'm happy to say they are very protective of these kids.
Maybe sometime in the future we can do a group thing for them but at the moment just go visit.
He called today and aked If I would entertain going oput there once a moth and give a kid a breeal for the day. I talked with the wife about it, I didn't want to start this only to break thier hearts later. They don't get much in the form of people caring about them in anyway, other then the staff that works there. Yes the answer is yes is will find some weekend time to spend with some kids.
There are 230 little girls out that a little bit of kindness could go a long ways for, they range from infants to 18 year olds.
You know we have came up many times here in the community to help schools finacially, that needed it. You know the only way these kids could have less is if they were street people.
I haven't heard any pleas for money, but if you can find the time and it is in your heart to do so, taking an afternnon and showing a kid that they are not forgotten would be a wonderful experince for them and trust me for you to.
I have know about the place for about four years I'm ashamed to say, have even been out there a couple of times. Why I didn't think to do so a simple act of kindness I will never know.
In any event it is Khan Kean Highwy on the right leaving town not to far out, maybe someone has some better directions. Be prepared to spend some time with the staff and at the facility, before you can take a child out for the day. I'm happy to say they are very protective of these kids.
Maybe sometime in the future we can do a group thing for them but at the moment just go visit.
Thats not bad advice TC for me it will be the wife I don't for others maybe the girlfriend, but any event I doubt the staff will be letting girls go with single guys alone. I think they worry very much more about the kids getting hurt emotionally. There really isn't much screening they can do with us anyway, other then try to judge our character, see if we have been drinking just the obvious things. The original author had been there three times before he took the girl out for the few hours. I think it would be good just to spend some time visiting , these kids are very shy.
By the way TC why do you think we are Christians, maybe we are trying to gain merit
By the way TC why do you think we are Christians, maybe we are trying to gain merit
Udon Girls Orphanage
My grandmother for many years was a housemother at the Protestant Childrens Home in our city (which with the Catholic Childrens Home was founded in response to the yellow fever epidemics in early 1800's). I visited her often at "the Home," and at her death at age 85, there were adults attending the funeral who had been in her care. My family has been involved in supporting this home now for over 40 years. Here's what I know...Some things NEVER change at an orphanage:
1. The children are always in need of individual items that they can call their own, because so many items are donated to be shared -- toys, clothes, school items, etc. While hand-me-downs are necessary, to ensure that as much use in made of a donation as possible, it becomes the norm that the children rarely have something that was given to them as a special gift.
2. Similarly, planned activities usually are group activities. Rarely does a child get taken on an outing by himself/herself, with the resulting individual attention and interest focused on that child.
Anything that singles out a child and provides a sense that he/she is special to someone is sorely needed for that child's ego.
1. The children are always in need of individual items that they can call their own, because so many items are donated to be shared -- toys, clothes, school items, etc. While hand-me-downs are necessary, to ensure that as much use in made of a donation as possible, it becomes the norm that the children rarely have something that was given to them as a special gift.
2. Similarly, planned activities usually are group activities. Rarely does a child get taken on an outing by himself/herself, with the resulting individual attention and interest focused on that child.
Anything that singles out a child and provides a sense that he/she is special to someone is sorely needed for that child's ego.
Well no real first hand knowledge but that is what I was seeing as well. I had thought about doing some fund raising lots of generous people on this forum as Paul can attest. But giving that one on one contact can only be done one way and it does not require larege sums of money to do it, but the most precious gift any of us have our time.
I don't think we have numbers strong enough to provide that to each of these children, but we can give what we can and thats a start.
GulfCoast gave me an idea if we were to do fund raising maybe just making sure each kid gets a birthday gift of some kind of thier birthday, not as a group could be a goal for those of us who want to make a difference of a different kind for the kid, heck what do I know.
There are a lot sharper guys on this forum then me.
I don't think we have numbers strong enough to provide that to each of these children, but we can give what we can and thats a start.
GulfCoast gave me an idea if we were to do fund raising maybe just making sure each kid gets a birthday gift of some kind of thier birthday, not as a group could be a goal for those of us who want to make a difference of a different kind for the kid, heck what do I know.
There are a lot sharper guys on this forum then me.
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Ground Engineer
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I think thats a great idea Ray. I for one would be willing to donate on a monthly basis.ray23 wrote:Well no real first hand knowledge but that is what I was seeing as well. I had thought about doing some fund raising lots of generous people on this forum as Paul can attest. But giving that one on one contact can only be done one way and it does not require larege sums of money to do it, but the most precious gift any of us have our time.
I don't think we have numbers strong enough to provide that to each of these children, but we can give what we can and thats a start.
GulfCoast gave me an idea if we were to do fund raising maybe just making sure each kid gets a birthday gift of some kind of thier birthday, not as a group could be a goal for those of us who want to make a difference of a different kind for the kid, heck what do I know.
There are a lot sharper guys on this forum then me.
"ShikiShinFuni"
I will talk to girlfriend this evening ,for me it would be a day /afternoon well spent. 230 girls there in total .come on Guys whats is a reasonable figure to spend on a present for them. 500 tbh . that would give us a target figure somewhere in the 60. 000 mark. Maybe in our own way start proving to the young thai thai that farrings can make a difference.
While there might not be 230 odd couples on the forum I bet there are in total around Udon . There where five couples in the kk grill last night , I spoke to three of them , 2 Amererican and one Dutch guy , none of them had even heard of the forum ,they have now ,maybe we could pass on the word about the Orphanage. Also I just wonder if there is a boys orphanage as well to make things fair and even . As Tc says I think this is one of those things that you have to be seen to be fair and that in no way are children targeted.
While there might not be 230 odd couples on the forum I bet there are in total around Udon . There where five couples in the kk grill last night , I spoke to three of them , 2 Amererican and one Dutch guy , none of them had even heard of the forum ,they have now ,maybe we could pass on the word about the Orphanage. Also I just wonder if there is a boys orphanage as well to make things fair and even . As Tc says I think this is one of those things that you have to be seen to be fair and that in no way are children targeted.
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averagejoe
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Ok guys it was just an idea at this point I would like to hear others ideas before we decide a course and the research needs to be done as well.
I think Guld Coast hit the nail on the head, trying to figure out ways to make the kids feel recognized as individuals I think should be the goal. Now how that can be achieved is the next step, then finding out if the orphanage and staff can support our ideas. I think it is very imoportant to include them in any plans we might come up with since they had hand on everyday. The birthday gift individually may be a gerat way to go, I don't know let me ask the staff before we do anything.
I was hoping that someone could describe where it is better then I, but It's on the Nong Kia Highway as I recall maybe three Kms on the rigth side of the road. Maybe someone could describe the location better then I.
I know the Boys Home in Nong Kia has been included in the VFW Christmas Party many times.
But you know each of us should go where our heart is leading us.
Give me a bit of time say two weeks to put some real thought into this, in the mean tiem please send ideas.
If at all possible on the weekend just visit the place, through the week the kids are in school.
I think Guld Coast hit the nail on the head, trying to figure out ways to make the kids feel recognized as individuals I think should be the goal. Now how that can be achieved is the next step, then finding out if the orphanage and staff can support our ideas. I think it is very imoportant to include them in any plans we might come up with since they had hand on everyday. The birthday gift individually may be a gerat way to go, I don't know let me ask the staff before we do anything.
I was hoping that someone could describe where it is better then I, but It's on the Nong Kia Highway as I recall maybe three Kms on the rigth side of the road. Maybe someone could describe the location better then I.
I know the Boys Home in Nong Kia has been included in the VFW Christmas Party many times.
But you know each of us should go where our heart is leading us.
Give me a bit of time say two weeks to put some real thought into this, in the mean tiem please send ideas.
If at all possible on the weekend just visit the place, through the week the kids are in school.
I have such a hard time making decisions relating to this topic!My heart goes out to the less fortunate for many reasons.I rarely act on these feelings that are always in my face throughout life.I have many reasons and rationalizations that cause me to act or not.
In this case,without making a committment either way,some of my thoughts are:
1) If I was one of these individuals, would I truly desire some 1:1 attention?Yes,absolutely yes!!All children do!
2) What about the other girls that don't get the individual attention?Are they going to have many negative feelings related to not being chosen?Yes,absolutely yes!!It is natural narcisistic processing of feelings by children!
3)Am I doing more emotional harm than I am helping?Good possibility!!Maybe , doing things for the entire group at one time is a better idea as to think of the emotional welfare of all the orphans.
4)I think an individual gift on the childs birthday is the way to go!maybe with a party of sorts for all at the same time.This gives individual attention without offending others.Everyone has some fun and knows that their ''special time'' will come!Maybe the thing to do is take the monthly ''birthday ''girls on an outing or a 500/+ baht shopping spree where they get to make ''individual choices''.I think that in dealing with children that are traumatized by becoming orphans,Much care has to be taken in dealing with their emotional makeup.Their greatest gift is the bonding of the group.To do anything to fragment that base,might be more harmful than good.
Don't want to shout like an expert here because I am not!!.Just sharing my thoughts.
In this case,without making a committment either way,some of my thoughts are:
1) If I was one of these individuals, would I truly desire some 1:1 attention?Yes,absolutely yes!!All children do!
2) What about the other girls that don't get the individual attention?Are they going to have many negative feelings related to not being chosen?Yes,absolutely yes!!It is natural narcisistic processing of feelings by children!
3)Am I doing more emotional harm than I am helping?Good possibility!!Maybe , doing things for the entire group at one time is a better idea as to think of the emotional welfare of all the orphans.
4)I think an individual gift on the childs birthday is the way to go!maybe with a party of sorts for all at the same time.This gives individual attention without offending others.Everyone has some fun and knows that their ''special time'' will come!Maybe the thing to do is take the monthly ''birthday ''girls on an outing or a 500/+ baht shopping spree where they get to make ''individual choices''.I think that in dealing with children that are traumatized by becoming orphans,Much care has to be taken in dealing with their emotional makeup.Their greatest gift is the bonding of the group.To do anything to fragment that base,might be more harmful than good.
Don't want to shout like an expert here because I am not!!.Just sharing my thoughts.
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hxjohn
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slow but sure
Ray I would like to say your efforts to bring a little happiness is I am sure greatly received
Are you aware that over the years there have been other falang groups that have done various fundraising efforts for that orphanage
The reason I have not become involved is because I am worried that some people have there minds on other things then the young girls welfare
I would advise caution on your part/ you and others are leaving yourself wide open
I have heard conversations in udon that would make your hair stand on end some of are more recent western expats are from very very dubious backgrounds
But theres good and bad everywhere so as they say in thai up to you
Are you aware that over the years there have been other falang groups that have done various fundraising efforts for that orphanage
The reason I have not become involved is because I am worried that some people have there minds on other things then the young girls welfare
I would advise caution on your part/ you and others are leaving yourself wide open
I have heard conversations in udon that would make your hair stand on end some of are more recent western expats are from very very dubious backgrounds
But theres good and bad everywhere so as they say in thai up to you
Re: slow but sure
If inappropiate behavior towards these orphans is what you are referring to,then I think anyone getting involved with this group has the responsibility to take action against the culprits.I damn sure would!!!Another good reason to do things as a group rather than as individuals,both for their protection and yours,Also,then there would not be a worry about what is on the ''minds'' of some people.hxjohn wrote:Ray I would like to say your efforts to bring a little happiness is I am sure greatly received
Are you aware that over the years there have been other falang groups that have done various fundraising efforts for that orphanage
The reason I have not become involved is because I am worried that some people have there minds on other things then the young girls welfare
I would advise caution on your part/ you and others are leaving yourself wide open
I have heard conversations in udon that would make your hair stand on end some of are more recent western expats are from very very dubious backgrounds
But theres good and bad everywhere so as they say in thai up to you
BKK you know in this sort of thing I think you have to do what your comfortable with, as a group if this I think you idea is very good. But a a individual I may choose to do both.
John I very aware of what your are talkling about knew a guy whom I thought was friend who did just that, it went to the police it was bought off through a distant uncle.
Far be it from me to tell anyone to get involved in something like this but, if anyone desired to follow up then so be it, if not nothing has been even mentioned to the orphanage so no harm done I think you have to use common since in anything you do.
You simply have to follow your own thoughts just as I will and trust me yes I will be very careful how I approach things.
John I very aware of what your are talkling about knew a guy whom I thought was friend who did just that, it went to the police it was bought off through a distant uncle.
Far be it from me to tell anyone to get involved in something like this but, if anyone desired to follow up then so be it, if not nothing has been even mentioned to the orphanage so no harm done I think you have to use common since in anything you do.
You simply have to follow your own thoughts just as I will and trust me yes I will be very careful how I approach things.
Sorry guys had to take a break for lunch MMMM!!!! good 
Go back and look at the original letter written to me, two trips out there before they took anyone out,the wife was heavly involved at no time did the guy put himslef in a position to be alone with this little girl. The outing was a afternoon outing in a scope of a few hour not overnight Sorry guys thats common since.
I talked extensivley with my wife about this before I even entertained it, why there is no way I would get involved in this unless she is right there.
I have raised three daughters and have no illusions about teenage girls, the most manipulative group of critters I have ever seen my life. Why do you think they can control us so well when they become adults, they have already had a lots of practice
The other thing is I understand the gossip in this community, no matter what I do ther is going to be that one person out there who is going to judge my actions based on what he would do. Always easier to believe the bad instead of the good, just the world we live in. So yes my wife will be there all the time.
BK I understand your thoughts of being fair, wouldn't it be wonderful if life really was that way but it's not. I'm one person I can only do what one person can do. Yes it is unfair to the others who don't get the outings. But my thougths are that is it fair not to do anthing because you are just one person. ometimes you just got to do the best you can.
You know a couple of years we thinking of adopting a little three year old out there. For me that would be the age I would want so you would have a chance to mold them into your family. Fair no. We didn't do it because she had two older sisters and I was just not ready to have three kids in my house. We spoke to the older sisters, they loved thier little sister and wanted us to take her. We didn't I couldn't break them up. Was that fair yes, but did anyone benefit from that decesion?
You know truth is I don't what the right answers are, I can only try to do what I think is the rigth thing.
You know as a group I think sponsoring some birthdays is a do able idea.
But as to the other going out there and making contact with these kids, is definetly an individual decesion, the only thing I would say is you decide to do that go slow.
You want to do that and be fair maybe a good way to do it would be to buy enough treats for everbody and leave it at that. My friend suggested a tub of ice cream, I know really sure what that is but it sounds good.
I'm sure there have been other people who have helped out there, I'm also sure the need will never go away.
If you guys want to do something as a group I'm not going to push you but I will help anyway I can. So that is up to anyone who wants tp participate. Yo know I do other thing for people I know when it comes to kids, this year our part time house keeper has two kids, so we bought back packs pencil pens and lots and lots of paper. I'm sure we all do what we can and that is just fine.
Please don't think because I decide to do something that you are obligated in anyway, your not!!!!!!!!!
But if it doesn't drive everybody crazy I will share what I learn. I would assume like most thing that I havve been involved in Thailand it is either going to be a horror story or wonderful, time will tell.
The only reason I mentioned anything involvng money is because I learned about you guys and your wanting to help in the school drive. You guys really wanting to be involved.
The other thing I learned is that are a lot of different opinnions, I have absolutely no intention of getting involved in that. So as a suggestion we can get the ideas in people can vote on them and the majority rules Now if we do that as far a I'm concerned that is where it ends. I will follow the direction of that vote and will not answer if it is right or wrong
As to what I choose to do as an indvidual as they say here up to me
Pops your good at polls so if it gets to that point can you help with that?
So now guys we have an up to me and now the rest of it is up to you
Go back and look at the original letter written to me, two trips out there before they took anyone out,the wife was heavly involved at no time did the guy put himslef in a position to be alone with this little girl. The outing was a afternoon outing in a scope of a few hour not overnight Sorry guys thats common since.
I talked extensivley with my wife about this before I even entertained it, why there is no way I would get involved in this unless she is right there.
I have raised three daughters and have no illusions about teenage girls, the most manipulative group of critters I have ever seen my life. Why do you think they can control us so well when they become adults, they have already had a lots of practice
The other thing is I understand the gossip in this community, no matter what I do ther is going to be that one person out there who is going to judge my actions based on what he would do. Always easier to believe the bad instead of the good, just the world we live in. So yes my wife will be there all the time.
BK I understand your thoughts of being fair, wouldn't it be wonderful if life really was that way but it's not. I'm one person I can only do what one person can do. Yes it is unfair to the others who don't get the outings. But my thougths are that is it fair not to do anthing because you are just one person. ometimes you just got to do the best you can.
You know a couple of years we thinking of adopting a little three year old out there. For me that would be the age I would want so you would have a chance to mold them into your family. Fair no. We didn't do it because she had two older sisters and I was just not ready to have three kids in my house. We spoke to the older sisters, they loved thier little sister and wanted us to take her. We didn't I couldn't break them up. Was that fair yes, but did anyone benefit from that decesion?
You know truth is I don't what the right answers are, I can only try to do what I think is the rigth thing.
You know as a group I think sponsoring some birthdays is a do able idea.
But as to the other going out there and making contact with these kids, is definetly an individual decesion, the only thing I would say is you decide to do that go slow.
You want to do that and be fair maybe a good way to do it would be to buy enough treats for everbody and leave it at that. My friend suggested a tub of ice cream, I know really sure what that is but it sounds good.
I'm sure there have been other people who have helped out there, I'm also sure the need will never go away.
If you guys want to do something as a group I'm not going to push you but I will help anyway I can. So that is up to anyone who wants tp participate. Yo know I do other thing for people I know when it comes to kids, this year our part time house keeper has two kids, so we bought back packs pencil pens and lots and lots of paper. I'm sure we all do what we can and that is just fine.
Please don't think because I decide to do something that you are obligated in anyway, your not!!!!!!!!!
But if it doesn't drive everybody crazy I will share what I learn. I would assume like most thing that I havve been involved in Thailand it is either going to be a horror story or wonderful, time will tell.
The only reason I mentioned anything involvng money is because I learned about you guys and your wanting to help in the school drive. You guys really wanting to be involved.
The other thing I learned is that are a lot of different opinnions, I have absolutely no intention of getting involved in that. So as a suggestion we can get the ideas in people can vote on them and the majority rules Now if we do that as far a I'm concerned that is where it ends. I will follow the direction of that vote and will not answer if it is right or wrong
As to what I choose to do as an indvidual as they say here up to me
Pops your good at polls so if it gets to that point can you help with that?
So now guys we have an up to me and now the rest of it is up to you
Since it is my e mail to Ray that is being abantered about I guess I need to put in my 2 cents. First let me say if anyone is entertaining evil deeds to one of these kids there are faculities at gov't expense if you are caught, not a pleasant thought. I agree that being alone with the kids is less than a super idea. The staff wanted my wifes ID to sign the girl out, not mine. We do know some Thai people that have connections at the orphanage tho I don't believe they were needed as referances. My decision to sort of sponsor one kid was made after 2 months of thought and here it is. I am not prepared to try to do anything substantial for 200 plus kids but I can make a difference to one. I had been there in Mar with some Thai friends to give all the kids cookies. As we were leaving another couple was preparing to give a box of milk. Well enough and I won't question motives here other than to mention the buddhist religion is big at making merit. Making merit doesn't require warmth or probably sincerity, just doing something, at least as I understand it. Mai for some reason caught my attenton and I just wanted to do something. It has been mentioned that life is not fair and it isn't. Yes, people/kids get jealous or resentful, so be it. I can't be responsible for that but I would be a sorry person to myself if I did nothing using those excuses. My suggestion to Ray to take a tub of ice cream would allow him, or a group to meet these kids and see if someone grabs your heart. Most anything would work, milk, cookies, your choice. I don't know that the orphanage would furnish a complete list with birthdays but it is a thought. My last comment is this, if any of you as an individual or group decide to do something, be prepared to follow thru and not let this be a whim of the moment. The phone number is 042 295074 but nothing much will happen by calling, they want to see you in person on any working day.
Girls Orphanage
It is obviously difficult for Stephen and me to do anything individual with one of the girls except on sporadic visits to Udon. However, whatever this group might decide to do as a forum venture, as with Paul's school, please know that we would contribute.
I do have a question -- what do these girls do at the point they must make a decision about continuing in school, and at what age is that? Is that the "critical" age? Is there an opportunity to provide educational "scholarships" for secondary (comprehensive) school or vocational training schools? And what is the tuition and supplies cost?
I do have a question -- what do these girls do at the point they must make a decision about continuing in school, and at what age is that? Is that the "critical" age? Is there an opportunity to provide educational "scholarships" for secondary (comprehensive) school or vocational training schools? And what is the tuition and supplies cost?