Why Thailand expats are grumpy

Post by **Saboo** » May 17, 2011, 12:02 pm

Why Thailand expats are grumpy.

Walking around udon in the complex… Big C, Tesco’s ect… Have you ever noticed other falangs just walk by and try to ignore you…? Happens to me all the time… even when I try to get eye contact to give a smile… it seems to be only the expats that will do that… even dropping my kids off at school… expats here seem to shy away from each other… not the same as people on vacation… they almost all return a smile and give a nod or say hello… (When you have been here a while you can normal tell who is a tourist and who is not)
So what is wrong with the expat falang… what makes them so unfriendly here… here’s what I think is going on…
I put it down to being unhappy inside… caused by many factors… they maybe having problems with their wife’s… and in-laws… finding they are having to dig deep in their pockets to pay for everything… the lack of communicating skills… to be able to talk properly with their spouse and in-laws… lots of little things like being taking for granted… Thai people do not seem to show that they appreciate the things that are being done for them… (It’s not their fault as all races are different)… people just expecting money for nothing… out shopping… being charged more for things than a Thai. national… also if you are out with your wife… have you ever noticed that Thai people seem to ignore you and address your wife in conversation as if your not there… lots of things and more… this all eats away until the point we become rotten inside… it can take from a few months to a few years… it also doesn’t happen to everyone… the ones that find happiness in their new home are the ones that adapt… stand up for themselves with their Thai family’s… not giving the free hand outs… learn to speak Thai… communication is one of the key things to true happiness here… as with all things… being able to talk to your wife… share a joke or two in her language … the ability to make friends amongst the Thai. Population… just not getting into a situation where you get frustrated because you can not communicate… I am not complaining myself as I have been there… it’s not easy and some never find happiness… but there are things we can do… Learn Thai is the obvious one… also meal times… forget all this about meeting your falang buddy for breakfast… eat at home with your wife… meal time are often the only time family’s come together… also don’t hang about in bars… that brings me on to the falang bar’s in Thailand… it certainly doesn’t help to make us welcome in Thailand… we all would get along much better without them… Do you think the local lads like seeing middle age/ old men flirting or worse with their girls… even worse sisters… how many Thai people do you see using falang bars…. Some do but not many… and it’s not all about money… Falang bars are expensive… many Thais are wealthy even by our standards…

Just a few of my thoughts… most people will have there own as to what’s going on, I accept that… anyways if your struggling to live here… don’t give up… learn to adapt… the key to your happiness is in your hands… some may say they are happy now…living a separate life from the Thai population… but generally its them that are rotten inside and show aggression… easily spotted…
Some may say I am one of the most aggressive posters n this forum… Yes when it comes to Racism that is true… the rest is a mixture of my sense of hummer… that and in a previous life I used to be a Troll…

Post by **JimboPSM** » May 17, 2011, 12:28 pm

IMHO, this chart (based on the average annual exchange rates) showing the appreciation and depreciation of a few currencies against the THB since 2001 may give a clue to the grumpiness index of various expats.

Most Australians I have met in Udon seem to be quite happy with their lot while many from the UK & US somewhat less so

Post by **fatbas***d** » May 17, 2011, 12:46 pm

Agree with sentiments here partic:"learn to speak Thai communication is one of the key things to true happiness here"
I Also agree with yr observation that many here seem to Be Grumpy.
I pick my daughters up from school which involves some waiting at the school, the Thai men seem only too happy to have a friendly conversation when I meet them, but apart from one big sized American the others are less than friendly, not even returning a greeting, very rude in my book.
You would think that having something in common with daughters going to the same school would give us a point to establish a reason for returning a greeting. But no, thay don't have the basic courtesy to do that.
Fvck 'em then

Post by **merchant seaman** » May 17, 2011, 2:04 pm

In my opinion expats are grumpy either because they are or have been in a bad relationship or their Thai partner wants to keep them away from other expats so they don't get educated on some of the going ons

Post by **pienmash** » May 17, 2011, 3:17 pm

I come into contact / meet many many expats who visit the shop , i can say very few appear grumpy or unhappy most just the opposite really , we cant all be the life n soul of the party 24- 7 ..... can we ??

Post by **douglas** » May 17, 2011, 3:37 pm

Hi,
I disagree that you have to learn to speak Thai, to have true happiness here.
Some people do not take to learning a new tongue. Or are unable to.
I used to be able to converse with people in about five lang.in my day. Now i can only just get by in English.I had a stroke about ten years ago and have trouble with my memory. Remember things for a short period of time then forget.
Still i am very happy, and thank goodness that the wife speaks good English. Have to write important things down or i forget.
I tended to, when i first came to Udon, smile at all and say hello. The trouble was when asked, where i was from. and told them, the Isle of Man, if person was not British they thought i said Germany. A lot of the British people i met thought i was from the Isle of Wight. Got a bit fed up explaining this. Mind you i don't frequent the bars in Udon, Thai or Farang, so i mainly meet people when shopping.
I used to be able to fly a small plane many years ago. a citabora, i never went around saying, if you can't fly you have never lived. Or words like that. Mind you i might have thought it.
Every person is different, thank god, and i would never think ill of them because they can't do what some people can do.
I also find the Thai people the wife talks to while out shopping will always try to talk with me. And are very friendly.
Cheers from a happy chappie, Doug.

Post by **Aardvark** » May 17, 2011, 3:58 pm

All good comments imo. Not sure about not frequenting falang establishments though. People need an outlet to Talk with there own kind in there own Language. Politics and Investments for instance are lost on most average Thais. To Talk about another part of the World gets a distant look. I even tried to talk about different Farming Techniques to the Men in the Wifes Village, but they weren't interested. So what do you do ?? For some the quiet life in the Village is fine but for me, I go crazy after a couple of Days !! Maybe these are the People you see around Town, those who can't get out and Socialise. Just my two cents.

Post by **pienmash** » May 17, 2011, 4:07 pm

Aardvark wrote:All good comments imo. Not sure about not frequenting falang establishments though. People need an outlet to Talk with there own kind in there own Language. Politics and Investments for instance are lost on most average Thais. To Talk about another part of the World gets a distant look. I even tried to talk about different Farming Techniques to the Men in the Wifes Village, but they weren't interested. So what do you do ?? For some the quiet life in the Village is fine but for me, I go crazy after a couple of Days !! Maybe these are the People you see around Town, those who can't get out and Socialise. Just my two cents.

Agree Ards , i have never met anyone who is 100% happy all the time where ever they are based and who sings and whistles a jolly tune everyday. Im personally quite happy with my lot really but still some days i can be a right moody miserable bastard ,,, mid life crisis now im fast approaching my 30s

Post by **DermotC** » May 17, 2011, 4:22 pm

Saboo, agree with everything you have to say. IMHO it always comes down to money. Alot of people came to LOS and thought they could happily live out their years on a state pension. Unless you live in a dump out in a way off village somewhere, this is an extreamly difficult thing to do. The people who thought they could do this are foolish. They never took into account medical bills, maybe a car crash, repairs etc etc etc. Its their own faults really!

Then of course you always have the wifes family with their hands out. This is a tricky one and needs to be taken care of from day one! No need to be strong about it, just explain that you are not a rich man and that you just cant afford to help out, thats it and then stick to it! You can always throw them a TV set or a fridge at a later date!

I understand people being grumpy but on the other side i dont feel the need to nod my head or say hello to every sock and sandal, singlet wearing muppet i see everyday

!

Mod Note: Some post removed as off topic & unwarranted..

Post by **noosard** » May 17, 2011, 4:40 pm

When I was in Udon in Feb every time my wife saw a farang she would say your friend
I would smile at her comment whether or not the farang noticed or acknowledge me or not, but did not genarally approach the stranger
Will be back in 2 weeks for 2 months and will go out of my normal private world to be more open and say hi to all and sundry hopefully make some friends and have a laugh or 2

Post by **jackspratt** » May 17, 2011, 4:46 pm

DermotC wrote:Saboo, agree with everything you have to say. IMHO it always comes down to money. Alot of people came to LOS and thought they could happily live out their years on a state pension. Unless you live in a dump out in a way off village somewhere, this is an extreamly difficult thing to do. The people who thought they could do this are foolish. They never took into account medical bills, maybe a car crash, repairs etc etc etc. Its their own faults really!

Then of course you always have the wifes family with their hands out. This is a tricky one and needs to be taken care of from day one! No need to be strong about it, just explain that you are not a rich man and that you just cant afford to help out, thats it and then stick to it! You can always throw them a TV set or a fridge at a later date!

I understand people being grumpy but on the other side i dont feel the need to nod my head or say hello to every sock and sandal, singlet wearing muppet i see everyday !

You managed to make sense until the final 2 paragraphs.

Two posts on totally unrelated threads re moderation - seemingly you can't help yourself.

You are consumed Dermot - time to give it a rest.

Post by **DermotC** » May 17, 2011, 4:48 pm

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Still playing that violin Jack, time to change the strings i think

Post by **Saboo** » May 17, 2011, 4:53 pm

Aardvark wrote:All good comments imo. Not sure about not frequenting falang establishments though. People need an outlet to Talk with there own kind in there own Language. Politics and Investments for instance are lost on most average Thais. To Talk about another part of the World gets a distant look. I even tried to talk about different Farming Techniques to the Men in the Wifes Village, but they weren't interested. So what do you do ?? For some the quiet life in the Village is fine but for me, I go crazy after a couple of Days !! Maybe these are the People you see around Town, those who can't get out and Socialise. Just my two cents.

My o.p. On this thread does not say I am happy all of time... I am a normal guy with normal emotions… I was commenting on people around town who go out of their way not to be social able... (in my experience...) (granted we all have different experiences) that and the people who moan on this forum about different aspects of living here... you can not deny that never happens... its called venting and supposed to be good for you... personally I thought venting was something to do with flatulence...! it does pay to have lots of hobbies here mind you... and yes to meet with fellow westerners for a bit of banter is always healthy... but that can be done outside a bar atmosphere can it not...?
What do I do...? In life...? Well I am kept very busy been the primary parent for my two sons... My misses works and we don’t have her family here to help out... they all moved to Bangkok a few years ago... Hurray…! life can be frustrating... lots of juggling jobs... changing dirty nappies to screaming tantrums... doing the shopping... cleaning the house... washing but not the ironing...!! A task I hate...! School runs twice a day...its all in a days work for me... but am I happy... Yes .
Hobbies...? Motorbikes... up until a couple of months ago I had the best collection around here... lots of polishing them but no time to ride...
Life can be rewarding here but you have to work at it... as I stated in my o.p...
As for been able to speak the local language... it just makes for a less frustrating life... and less frustration makes for a happy life...

B.T.W…. MASH... I am not surprised your expat customers seem very happy when visiting your shop... cannot say I blame them for looking forward to the prospect of sinking their teeth into some of your tasty wares... kippers and pork pies do it for me...

Post by **randerson79** » May 17, 2011, 4:55 pm

Where I come from it's called a fiddle.

I think it sounds very nice. $\:D/$

Post by **trubrit** » May 17, 2011, 4:58 pm

Well my Mum told me to never talk with strange men and they don't come much stranger than this lot .!!!More seriously I talk or at least acknowledge those I know, but my trouble now is I have a poor memory for faces, I even walked straight past Arjay a few weeks ago . Grumpy ? Not this bloke .

Post by **jackspratt** » May 17, 2011, 5:01 pm

DermotC wrote:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Still playing that violin Jack, time to change the strings i think

Happy with the violin Dermot - what are you playing with?

Post by **DermotC** » May 17, 2011, 5:05 pm

Since you took time out of your extreamly busy day Jack, to explain the difference to me about having sex with an underage girl or being a Paedophile, Im only to happy to tell you that Im playing with a lovely 29 year old lady that happens to make me smile everyday i see her face

=D>

Post by **Khun Paul** » May 17, 2011, 6:23 pm

dermotC what the hell has your last post got to do with grumpy farangs, beats me but then most of what you say is total twaddle.
oft times I nod and smile at foreigners in shopping places and some in bars when I visit, 90% of the time I get a nod,smile or even an hello, some will stop and chat others will carry on..I agree with the majority of the sentiments, we are all different and on odd days we all have a bad day, the majority of Foreigners I know here are a friendly bunch, as with all walks of life there are some I do not like, but that is life and there is nowt so queer as folk as they say.

Post by **DermotC** » May 17, 2011, 6:39 pm

Well KP i thought I was just responding to another poster on here that, between the two of us have idle banter the odd time, and thats all it is, idle banter.

I would have thought KP that you would be busy enough looking for one of your family members down South, than commenting on public forum!

Post by **trubrit** » May 17, 2011, 6:53 pm

I think dermott your posts on this topic and others confirms why most of us can't be bothered in trying to be friendly. Certainly for me, if your posts give the impression of unfriendlieness why should I bother to talk in the real world .