can real love be found on dating sites and in whorehouses?

[goonersh]

I am prompted to start this by someone else

So as not to divert this thread, perhaps gooner would care to open another, based around his statement:

If you are silly enough to think you will find real love in a go go bar (well it COULD happen but what are the odds) or an internet dating site, and if you REALLY believe that you can love someone after a few MSN's and the parting of a few grand over the internet, you deserve everything you get...

I am sure it will get some interesting responses - as his posts tend to do

Seriously, i KNOW the internet dating scene pretty well from the past both as a single person, and the more kinkier side..... as part of a couple and im sorry but i do not think anyone has more than a 0.0000001% of finding love, let alone anyone sane enough for a second date on most of those sites. Im more than happy to share my experiences of this if people want to know.. they are actually great stories of alcoholics, nutters, sex starved old wimmen and liars.....

Paid dating sites are even worse... especially the ones like find my thai love... They are nothing more that money making excersises, often frequented by the very people you lot are trying to warn me against....designed to suck in old geezers with the promise of eternal young booty... at a hefty price that does not stop when you meet the girl of your dream/fantasy in your head

Save your money and go into the REAL world and meet real people.. i repeat YOU CANNOT FIND LOVE AFTER A FEW MSN'S AND A WADFUL OF PAYMENTS TO AN AGENCY IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. It might make you feel good and think like you have found love, but i bet you aint....

Now onto the go go bars, which lets face it are basically whorehouses with a bar and music... i need say no more on that really.. but i will... for i know of no man who has found true love whilst visiting a group of prostitutes in their place of business... and if you know anyone who has.. im all ears. now... I have nothing against working girls at all... i repeat I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST WORKING GIRLS AT ALL and LOTS of them over there in thailand are worth a few baht for the night (or three) but... to think i can make one my partner......... naaaaaaaaaaaaaah ....so PORK AWAY GENTS... as many as you want, but realise that it IS a whorehouse you are visiting and they ARE prostitutes...

Of course there are exeptions to every rule.. but the exceptions in these cases would FAR be outweighed by the blokes who get done up like a wet kipper and drained of all their hope, self respect and cash.. a bit like a Spurs season ticket holder

Im sorry but IMO, people who think these three examples are the way to go to find love.. are pretty damm lame


Comments most welcome

[Wisdom]

I tend to agree goonersh that dating sites seem long shot for long term relationships, but, to be fair have no personal experience there. However saying that bar girls are just prostitutes working in whorehouses i think a bit harsh.

Many girls in say Patong, are not there just to earn money by prostitution. They are there to fulfil the dream, or often fantasy, of meeting a rich, decent, honourable farang. Once found, in my experience, the bar scene is HISTORY for them. So, the prostitution is a means to an end, not the career. In many cities, prostitutes are feeding drug habits and are there for the duration. In Thailand although there are the long term bar girls, most short term, using prostitution to find someone to lift them and family, out of poverty, or at least to get a better quality life.

[goonersh]

I tend to agree goonersh that dating sites seem long shot for long term relationships, but, to be fair have no personal experience there. However saying that bar girls are just prostitutes working in whorehouses i think a bit harsh.

Many girls in say Patong, are not there just to earn money by prostitution. They are there to fulfil the dream, or often fantasy, of meeting a rich, decent, honourable farang. Once found, in my experience, the bar scene is HISTORY for them. So, the prostitution is a means to an end, not the career. In many cities, prostitutes are feeding drug habits and are there for the duration. In Thailand although there are the long term bar girls, most short term, using prostitution to find someone to lift them and family, out of poverty, or at least to get a better quality life.

If a man OR a woman sleeps with anyone or anything for money, by definition they are prostituting themselves and therefore they are a prostitute, It matters not what the end goal is.

I carry bricks with the end goal of being a site manager... im still a brikkie hey?

I do not use the term prostiitute in a nasty way at all, i have even known both men and women who have sold sex for money....but prostitutes they are, at that time, and whilst they do that
cheerz

[jackspratt]

I have no doubt it can - provided one keeps one's eyes open, and they are not excessively naive

[BobHelm]

& if a lady allows you to take her out for a meal, buy her drinks & generally pay for all the entertainment what is that???
If they require weeks/months of these type of acts without sex that makes them NOT a prostitute??? Maybe they are just waiting until the monetary value is tipped in their favour...Maybe a greater offer of financial reward earlier in the relationship would lead to sex quicker - maybe it would not...
Making generalisations/assumptions about any group of people either working, or in, a similar situation will undoubtedly only make a fool of the person doing the generalisation....

[goonersh]

I have no doubt it can - provided one keeps one's eyes open, and they are not excessively naive

and you base that opinion on??? theory? personal experience? friends experiences? books? tv shows?
tell me more......and how do you judge naive?? If we are, as people continuing to learn and grow every day, then we are all naive, until we learn more... and even when we learn more.. we are still naive to what we have not learnt...
ta

[beer monkey]

can real love be found on dating sites and in whorehouses?

bm checking in,

I say Yes.

Cheers all.

bm checking out......

[jackspratt]

My opinion (and knowledge) is based on long experience of travelling to, and now living in, Thailand.

As to naive - please note the use of the word "excessively". Which, again based on the above paragraph (but not just in Thailand), some people just seem to be.

Anyway, I will bow out for the moment, and hopefully there will be some further and wider input on this interesting subject.

[goonersh]

& if a lady allows you to take her out for a meal, buy her drinks & generally pay for all the entertainment what is that???
If they require weeks/months of these type of acts without sex that makes them NOT a prostitute??? Maybe they are just waiting until the monetary value is tipped in their favour...Maybe a greater offer of financial reward earlier in the relationship would lead to sex quicker - maybe it would not...
Making generalisations/assumptions about any group of people either working, or in, a similar situation will undoubtedly only make a fool of the person doing the generalisation....

Thanks for the dig Bob....i actually agree with you that those kind of girls are also in a way prostituting themselves for gain but that does not alter the fact that if you have sex for money, you are by definiton a prostitute....so you can be as sarcastic as you want towards me, but that will not change the dictionary defiition of the word prostitute will it??

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution

you sleep with men OR women you just meet for money, you are a prostitute...by definiton, end of story... now, as a modorator im sure you would appreciate how important it is to stick to the point of a thread ... so how about you tell me what you think of the OP.... can love be found in the ways i describe? and what do you base your opinions on...

If you want to start another thread about word definitions, i will be happy to comment further, thanks

[LoongLee]

BobH,,,, you've brought up the standing argument about the standard dating scene and whether that is "paying for it". Most women want to say "absolutely not" and most men say "yes it is" ,, And honestly, some men would say that women want it both ways, they want the appearance of freedom and liberation, but they still want to be cared for. IMHO, they are fighting an internal biological/psychological demand brought on by thousands of years of evolution,, but they don't want to admit it. Most people want to think they are modern and civilized and want to deny the animal with primal instincts that lurks beneath. Just my opinion,,,, and like I've said before "opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one"

And just to stay on point,,,,,, because I'm a romantic,,,,yes I think love can be found on the dating sites and bars/whorehouses but realistically it's a very, very small percentage.

[Dagnabbit]

If you are silly enough to think you will find real love in a go go bar (well it COULD happen but what are the odds) or an internet dating site, and if you REALLY believe that you can love someone after a few MSN's and the parting of a few grand over the internet, you deserve everything you get...

I am sure it will get some interesting responses - as his posts tend to do [/quote]

Seriously, i KNOW the internet dating scene pretty well from the past both as a single person, and the more kinkier side..... as part of a couple and im sorry but i do not think anyone has more than a 0.0000001% of finding love, let alone anyone sane enough for a second date on most of those sites. Im more than happy to share my experiences of this if people want to know.. they are actually great stories of alcoholics, nutters, sex starved old wimmen and liars.....

Paid dating sites are even worse... especially the ones like find my thai love... They are nothing more that money making excersises, often frequented by the very people you lot are trying to warn me against....designed to suck in old geezers with the promise of eternal young booty... at a hefty price that does not stop when you meet the girl of your dream/fantasy in your head

Save your money and go into the REAL world and meet real people.. i repeat YOU CANNOT FIND LOVE AFTER A FEW MSN'S AND A WADFUL OF PAYMENTS TO AN AGENCY IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. It might make you feel good and think like you have found love, but i bet you aint....

Now onto the go go bars,
[/quote]

Not to put to fine a point on it, there Goonerish.

I would like to hear some experiences had by others with dating sites. I have some experience there also. And I could not agree more about go into the real world and meet real people. Too many are naive and think that they will have a decent chance of finding a real honest person on the internet. Some do, I bet, but some don't, this I know from experience also.

Now that I have taken that course and have graduated, I see clearly the red flags and warning signs that I missed along the way. Now I say "never again" but think casual on line friends can be genuine.

[Dagnabbit]

Gee, 5 posts happened whilst I typed my last one....

I'd like to say that I would like to talk about experiences and stuff like that in regards to finding love in dating sites (especially) or bars, but I don't want to participate in a debate about if something is prostitution or not.

Maybe it is 'prostituition', paid to the bursar of WBU in some cases.....

2¢

[laphanphon]

If a man OR a woman sleeps with anyone or anything for money, by definition they are prostituting themselves and therefore they are a prostitute, It matters not what the end goal is.

we are all prostitutes in one way or another, not all riches or payment is measured by monetary exchange.

on topic, dating sites are like any other social gathering of people, just electronically, initially. they attract a mix of good and bad on both sides, as do all venues for relationships. some get lucky, some not. i know of one relationship that is doing very well, i also know a couple relationships that starting from bar, doing well also. i've had 3 normal meeting relationships, not good, non internet, non bar. one from bar, typical horror story, with many good points. present one from normal meeting, as you would meet anyone in any country. at a market, restaurant, mall setting. took long time to develop, but working out nicely. those 5 just in thailand, 2 marriages and couple live ins in the states.

doesn't matter when where or how people meet, it matters that they are looking for the same thing out of the relationship, or what they are looking for is provided. love is easy, whether at first site, or developed over time. it doesn't matter when or how i turns into a reality, as long as it does. in any and every relationship, negotiations, compromise, give and take, all could be considered a form of prostitution for what you want, love, security, companionship, sex, whatever is important to you.

each person in a relationship evaluates what's in it for them, and at what cost, and not necessarily monetary. what does the future hold, the families, the health history of family, does cancer or another nasty run in the family, do they live past 60, or 90, which means, will my prospective mate be an emotional or financial drain, and am i prepared or want that as a possible future. if involved what will, can you expect in 10 years, 20 years. it's all monetary, emotional, physical and mental decision whether to continue developing a relationship after first meeting. many variables to think of, now and for the future, from all sides.

i obviously haven't got a clue, too many relationships, working on a record breaker now, less than 4 years. but i've learned to make myself happy, and if the carries over to my partner, then that great. but if i'm not happy, i won't be able to make her happy. then we can go from there. some things are uncompromisable/negotiable, others are not. as time goes on, i find less and less is compromised for my own happiness. not sure if i would want to live with me. but i get lucky once in a while.

best of luck to everyone in your search or continued good luck.

[goonersh]

laphanphon
stop being so dammed intelligent and saying all the right things... im jelous
we ARE all prostitutes.... ill shut up now on word definitions

[LoongLee]

Some good wise words there Laphanphon, good luck to you and yours for the future. By the way, those new pics of your little girl in your avatar really remind me of my daughter when she was that age,,, one of them is almost an identical "pose" (the one with her in the basket, I think) really cute. I envy you, mine is well grown now. LL

[laphanphon]

5 posts happened whilst I typed my last one

i typed more, so 7 post since i though about posting, you all are fast

[WBU ALUM]

I have no doubt it can - provided one keeps one's eyes open, and they are not excessively naive

I concur.

[bjoehoe]

And what is the point of this tread? This topic has been debated over and over again on this forum and numerous others for years.
Just because the original poster with reference to his previous treads is currently floating on a pink cloud, madly in love with a girl that prostituted herself only once to his knowledge (now does that make her a prostitute or not?), and has somewhat gained a lot of firsthand(?) experience of online dating or getting burned by bargirls, do we have to repeat this all over again?
Those of us who haven't been there, done that , has already read all about it!
If I was a MOD, I would lock this tread. Now.

[Frankie 1]

Only in Thailand. ...men having problems with calling a prostitute a prostitute.

Because the prostitutes in this country look so lovely, smile so lovely and rip you off so lovely they can also make men doubt about if she is a prostitute or not?

Bargirls and go-go dancers are prostitutes, it's their job. They are employees of the bar/whorehouse/club/massage parlour where they work.

[Dagnabbit]

And what is the point of this tread? This topic has been debated over and over again on this forum and numerous others for years.
Just because the original poster with reference to his previous treads is currently floating on a pink cloud, madly in love with a girl that prostituted herself only once to his knowledge (now does that make her a prostitute or not?), and has somewhat gained a lot of firsthand(?) experience of online dating or getting burned by bargirls, do we have to repeat this all over again?
Those of us who haven't been there, done that , has already read all about it!
If I was a MOD, I would lock this tread. Now.

Yes, this is why I said before:
I'd like to say that I would like to talk about experiences and stuff like that in regards to finding love in dating sites (especially) or bars, but I don't want to participate in a debate about if something is prostitution or not.

and then just now said:
If someone is involved with a prostitute or a non prostitute, it is not relevant to the discussion thread that the subject line describes.

Maybe why some bowed out early, I suspect. I don't want to hear it all again either.