Tools Explained...

[docta]

Tools Explained

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the
chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted
project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could
get to it.


WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints
and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to
say, 'Oh XXXX!'


SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.


PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters.


BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.


HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
dismal your future becomes.


VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.


OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the
grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing
race.


TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.


HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack
handle firmly under the bumper.


BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops
to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit
into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of
the outside edge.


TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
of everything you forgot to disconnect.


PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil
on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
Phillips screw heads.


STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used
to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and
butchering your palms.


PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.


HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.


HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
adjacent the object we are trying to hit. It is especially valuable
at being able to find the EXACT location of the thumb or index finger
of the other hand.


UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well
on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles,
collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.


SON-OF-A-XXXXX TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you
grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a XXXXX!' at the
top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will
need.


Hope you found this informative.

[fatbob]

Ha Ha, good one, you have obviously just built a house with Thai builders and seen the masters in action!

[whendo29]

Talking of tools,I just returned from Udon. Needed a crowbar to breakdown a bank of dirt outside the front of the property to even out a drain. looked everywhere,and asked at homepro and global house,only to receive blank stares.
Can anyone help me and let me know if ther is anywhere in Udon I can buy 1,or a metal shop where I can get 1 made

[Shado]

I used to get very frustrated trying to tell a salesperson what I was looking for. Even if I knew the Thai word for the item I'd still get blank stares. If in need of something now I just find a picture of it on the web, print out the picture and take it with me. Helps a lot. Occasionally, it the store doesn't have the item they will suggest another place to find it. This happens especially when there are a number of sales-people standing around and everyone takes a look at the photo.

[docta]

Hi, whendo29

Hey, buddy, I found what I believe you're looking for at Global House, awhile back.
It wasn't a, Crowbar, but a, Pry Bar, longer and made for more leveage such as in bustin' a bank of dirt.

Don't even ask those guys, just do this...

As you walk in, angle to your right to back of store, back of store take a 'right, go a few isles, then another right into a, test isle, not too far along. The Pry Bars were there, not far in.

OK, I got cha close, just check out the isles in the vicinity I've mentioned, and good luck.

Doc

[whendo29]

Thanks Doc,
I think I saw them,but was more like a very small shovelhead with like a blade on it,and a long wooden handle
What I'm talking bout is a solid bar,about 2 metres long,with like a blade ground on 1 end,and a point on the other.
If that is what you saw,i'll check next time I'm there,but hopefully the ground will be softer as I won't be back till rainy season

[docta]

Hi, whendo29

quote:
What I'm talking bout is a solid bar,about 2 meters long,with like a blade ground on 1 end,and a point on the other.

We're referring to the same tool as you described above, not sure what a, 'blade ground' is, something like a flattened point, right?

They had plenty of them when we purchased.

As usual, the only point I remember for sure is I buy the stuff and Sawitta gets some Thai fella to use it

Good luck