It's all over, but where do I start again?

Post by **Mosquito** » September 12, 2012, 5:28 pm

Sounds like you have, like you say 90 percent covered.

Like the idea about the Iphone with GPS, as I can see the wife using/taking the kids without your knowledge for additional leverage/payout by you.

Would add, is there anyone you trust to exec your will?? Once you're gone and the kids have the $$, expect the ex-wife to spend most of it on non-essentials and depending on the timing the children might not have any left for college/emergencies. I hate lawyers (would be almost impossible to trust one, more so a Thai lawyer), does you family in the UK have a family lawyer (issue of trust and check/balance still a concern) to handle the funds at least until the children are out of school.

Would keep an updated file with the recent photos, and get the children finger printed (you never know).

Do the children have Thai ID cards?? Hopefully you have custody of them, along with both passports!!!

Do you have any friends where the ex-wife lives?? Worth keeping track (not that often, but just enough to figure out in advance when the $$ runs out / when the ---- will start) of where the $$ is being wasted and condition of the house.

Have to say congrats for moving on and making the best of a bad situation.

Post by **jackspratt** » September 12, 2012, 6:03 pm

Mosquito wrote:Sounds like you have, like you say 90 percent covered.

Like the idea about the Iphone with GPS, as I can see the wife using/taking the kids without your knowledge for additional leverage/payout by you.

Would add, is there anyone you trust to exec your will?? Once you're gone and the kids have the $$, expect the ex-wife to spend most of it on non-essentials and depending on the timing the children might not have any left for college/emergencies. I hate lawyers (would be almost impossible to trust one, more so a Thai lawyer), does you family in the UK have a family lawyer (issue of trust and check/balance still a concern) to handle the funds at least until the children are out of school.

Would keep an updated file with the recent photos, and get the children finger printed (you never know).

Do the children have Thai ID cards?? Hopefully you have custody of them, along with both passports!!!

Do you have any friends where the ex-wife lives?? Worth keeping track (not that often, but just enough to figure out in advance when the $$ runs out / when the **** will start) of where the $$ is being wasted and condition of the house.

Have to say congrats for moving on and making the best of a bad situation.

Doesn't sound like much of a formula for "moving on".

Post by **Mosquito** » September 12, 2012, 7:50 pm

Ok, making the best (workable outcome) of a bad situation!!

Always go by ---- happens no matter how careful you are, you just have to do your best to keep your sanity and move on!!!

urban legend · Post by **urban legend** » September 15, 2012, 3:01 am

colinLHR wrote:Its been a rough 2012

With the wifes gambling taken care off and all things of value in safe deposit box then this in April the wifes sister and husband come back to Udon for a Holiday for 2 weeks shes pregnant and we being ''Family said we would put them up'' for the duration of there stay. Can you guess what happened next, two weeks turns to one month and so on with no contribuition to running costs to my home.

But as you all know one has to tread lightly on these topics as things can escalate in to rows,family fueds etc, i was taken a back a couple of weeks ago when '' an idea was put to me '' daling what about my sister and husband come stay here for ever and she can be Nanny for our babys and her husband can take care of Garden,bearing in mind she is heavilly pregnant and i have two young children of my own!!!!

So lets put that in to perspective the wifes sister has no income husband has no income, baby is born and live with me and i pay for everything.What happened was a sort of grooming process for the first month from the sister and brother on how my wifes life would be easy and she got quite used to an '' easy life'' of no household chores etc.

Me being Cynical or some would call it streetwise would call it like this , two workshy lazy uneducated low class scum need an easy way out in life as she will need to look after baby and his earning capabilities are near 0 baht per month.
and who better to carry this burden of an extra 2 adults and new baby than Mr Falang.

What happened next shocked even me!!! my face was red with anger when they came forward with the proposal and my wife new it , I tried calmly to explain that they have overstayed their welcome and it was time for them to move on,I tried to do it in a way that wouldnt make my wife choose between me and Family as we all know how close this subject is to a Thai persons Heart....
Well it turned in to a full scale row with my wife packing up the truck and going to her mums with the sister and kids etc,but one thing i wont forget is the look on the sisters face you know that look you only get from the woman in the cheesy thai soaps, she was loving it.

Ive been given an ultimatum of i take wifes sister +husband + baby to live in house or its divorce over...

Now im not a mug and would never agreed to this so it was a stalemate. I packed the car up with my belongings and just started driving from Udon im now in hotel in Korat and pondering my next move but i feel terrible as i said earlier i have two young children and it feels like ive abandoned them but i cant and wont be railroaded in to family pressure to do something im not happy with...

Im getting all the usual lines of youll never see the kids again but i already know that thai courts are good with visitation rights....

About the house you may ask , i made a point when buying it that it went in the kids names so dont need to worry about selling etc.

Moving out of Thailand is not an option due to my kids...

So as of this moment im sitting in Hotel pondering my next move , where do i start a fresh within at least an hours flight to Udon i was thinking BKK but where do you start.

Please i would welcome any advice given as im at a turning point here.

It just shows you how quickly it go wrong ,very wrong , but in life there are no crystal balls

Col

In my humble opinion people are people we are all taught Morals from the day we are all born on different levels of course etc. I think a lot of farang make to many allowances and the benefit of the doubt because of a "missunderstood " Thai culture . At the end of the day I have been married 12 years if Ithought the Outlaws are wrong or a doing wrong I tell my wife, at the end of the day most of life situations come down to common sence and general right from wrong if you feel like a mug the chances are you are being taken for one =D>

Post by **colinLHR** » December 13, 2012, 10:44 am

Nothing would surprise me now!!!!

Well its 3 months down the line and things are improving the Kids are settled well ive got a great live in Nanny for my kids Im single,sober and keeping myself busy, However the 1.5million pay-off to ex wife seems to be coming to an end, the signs are there, she hasnt phoned or been in contact with the kids for 2 months until a week ago ,

Basically the jist of the calls from Ex are that her Family wont speak to her and she had no-one to speak to i said to her what happened to the money, everyone loved you when you got the 1.5million!!! she replied money gone !!!!!!

As the conversation went on she was staying in the House and word travelled quickly about her little windfall the sister came back from Bangkok and so did her 2 brothers with ideas they had for ''open bizniss'' and she couldnt say no because ''family cannot say no'' i wont bother you with all the details as im sure you can imagine , they dont understand that you need to keep takings to buy more stock and to sell again plus all the other demands put on her new motorbikes , food clothing etc

Id be 100% certain that a good chunk of cash has gone on Cards and lottery!!

So now the cash has gone nobody wants to know, family has lost face because '' biziness'' has closed and they have to go back to there menial jobs in Factorys.

Her instructions from Mother is get your husband back

She is down to her last 20thousand she wants a second chance or if we cant be together give her job as Nanny and pay her 30,000 a month!!!!!

Can you believe these people the sheer nerve that they could go through 1.5 million in 4 months and suddenly they are in the ''SH*T'' they think lets get the Falang back.

Now nothing would surprise me, not in the slightest ,she is an outcast because the happy life has gone and now the pressure is on for her to keep them in the life they had over the last 4 months.

But you know what, i dont feel the slightest bit of sorrow for her ''what goes around comes around'' what she said in the the last bit of the conversation was '' i will have to go to Pattaya to work bar'' on you go darling thats what to do!!!! bye now!!!

I think its time to get a new sim card!!!!

Post by **Jello** » December 13, 2012, 11:17 am

colinLHR wrote: I think its time to get a new sim card!!!!

No doubt!

Good to hear your doing well Colin. Godspeed. =D>

Post by **Aardvark** » December 13, 2012, 11:19 am

Stay strong, you've worked hard for your new life Good Luck !!

Post by **semperfiguy** » December 13, 2012, 11:25 am

colinLHR wrote:Nothing would surprise me now!!!! I think its time to get a new sim card!!!!

I'm happy for you that you transitioned well into a new life for yourself and the kids. Just remember that you can't change the spots on a leopard's back! I know it's tempting to bring her back into the fold 'cause I've been there before. Your forgiveness of her and her repentance is one thing, but her feeling sorry for herself is not repentance. Fool me once...shame on you. Fool me twice...shame on me!

Post by **fogeyes** » December 13, 2012, 11:26 am

Great to hear you're doing well Col.
Your ex should want to take care of the kids for free.she's a baddun and the family don't sound much better.
I'd cut all contact with her, she's shown her true colours and she'll never change.
Good luck mate.

Post by **Dr. James** » December 13, 2012, 11:40 am

Just remember to get the new sim card sooner than later.

Post by **jai yen yen** » December 13, 2012, 12:12 pm

colinLHR wrote:Nothing would surprise me now!!!!

Well its 3 months down the line and things are improving the Kids are settled well ive got a great live in Nanny for my kids Im single,sober and keeping myself busy, However the 1.5million pay-off to ex wife seems to be coming to an end, the signs are there, she hasnt phoned or been in contact with the kids for 2 months until a week ago ,

Basically the jist of the calls from Ex are that her Family wont speak to her and she had no-one to speak to i said to her what happened to the money, everyone loved you when you got the 1.5million!!! she replied money gone !!!!!!

As the conversation went on she was staying in the House and word travelled quickly about her little windfall the sister came back from Bangkok and so did her 2 brothers with ideas they had for ''open bizniss'' and she couldnt say no because ''family cannot say no'' i wont bother you with all the details as im sure you can imagine , they dont understand that you need to keep takings to buy more stock and to sell again plus all the other demands put on her new motorbikes , food clothing etc

Id be 100% certain that a good chunk of cash has gone on Cards and lottery!!

So now the cash has gone nobody wants to know, family has lost face because '' biziness'' has closed and they have to go back to there menial jobs in Factorys.

Her instructions from Mother is get your husband back

She is down to her last 20thousand she wants a second chance or if we cant be together give her job as Nanny and pay her 30,000 a month!!!!!

Can you believe these people the sheer nerve that they could go through 1.5 million in 4 months and suddenly they are in the ''SH*T'' they think lets get the Falang back.

Now nothing would surprise me, not in the slightest ,she is an outcast because the happy life has gone and now the pressure is on for her to keep them in the life they had over the last 4 months.

But you know what, i dont feel the slightest bit of sorrow for her ''what goes around comes around'' what she said in the the last bit of the conversation was '' i will have to go to Pattaya to work bar'' on you go darling thats what to do!!!! bye now!!!

I think its time to get a new sim card!!!!

Very happy for you and yes do get a new sim card, people like her do not change. You owe it to yourself and your children to keep up the good work.

Post by **harmonyudon** » December 13, 2012, 12:36 pm

colinLHR wrote:But you know what, i dont feel the slightest bit of sorrow for her ''what goes around comes around'' what she said in the the last bit of the conversation was '' i will have to go to Pattaya to work bar'' on you go darling thats what to do!!!! bye now!!!

I really hope for you,cause you mentioned what she said. That's the usual tricks to test you if are sensitive to this.
New sim card NOW. Out of sight is out of heart. Pai-Rod !

Post by **MALC** » December 13, 2012, 5:50 pm

keep your chin up colin.i know its hard.me and my wife had words.she said to me you are a stinking fat buffalo thailand no want you here.so now going through a divorce.i have given her 2 million bht.pay off money all gone.now she wants another million.over my dead body.

Post by **merchant seaman** » December 13, 2012, 5:56 pm

What's with all this pay off money? I would just f--k off and move to the P.I.

Post by **MALC** » December 14, 2012, 5:12 am

sorry ms i forgot to say i bought a house.and she would not agree to sell unless i paid her.

Post by **redwolf** » December 14, 2012, 5:36 am

colinLHR wrote: Now nothing would surprise me, not in the slightest, she is an outcast because the happy life has gone and now the pressure is on for her to keep them in the life they had over the last 4 months.

they'll break, she'll be off on the bargain bus to Patts & then back around Songkran. or she finds new guy who doesn't know her past.

Post by **Billg** » December 14, 2012, 4:55 pm

Colin
Thanks for telling us your story, it was a brave thing to do and thanks to all the other members who joined together and offered you strong advice.
You sound that you are now in control of your life and have moved on, sir i take my hat off to you
Best of luck to you and your kids future

Bill

Post by **colinLHR** » December 16, 2012, 10:43 am

Thats me all set,brand new Dtac sim card this morning, but the phone was red hot over the last few days she is in sheer desperation and i could hear it her voice do you know what it felt like.
It felt like im a terrorist under interrogation and you know how they go over and over the same things and slowly try to break you down pshychologically until you crumble and give them the information they need or things they want to here Maybe the CIA or MI5 should be looking to some of these crazy thai girl as operatives.

They could pass a polygraph,lie on cue who knows.

One of the things that will stay with me forever is before i hung up the phone for good which pretty much says it all to me was ''if i have to go pattaya work bar i will lose my face'' so its not she loves husband and kids and wants them back its we are her last hope of her saving face.

But i feel guilty not for her, but that i had to cut my kids off from there mum by removing sim card it would feel much easier if she just disapeared and didnt call then i can always say she had our number.

But Thai people seem to know ways to get in touch through people of people , i just wish she could take the kids out to a movie or the park but thats just not there style is it!!!!

Anyway thanks again people for your help , advice and kind words and it has made a big difference as i can bounce ideas of people and i get your take on things.

And to anyone sitting reading this who is in the situation where i was months ago , stand up and get out dont let the wife and extended family keep interfering and slowly breaking you down.

Col

Post by **vlad** » December 16, 2012, 11:08 am

I dont post much on here Col but fair play to you it takes a lot of bottle to do what you did so full respect. Like you said lesser men would and have crumbled no matter what you think deep down it will always be her looking for a reason to blame you for the problem she is in now.I was with my g/f three years thought it was good so i moved over to Udon give her her own business thought everything was hunky dory wasn't married but within a year once my cash was gone I was gone, back to the uk skint lessons learned. Old cliche mate but desperate times call for desperate measures take care.

Post by **jai yen yen** » December 16, 2012, 11:16 am

colinLHR wrote:Thats me all set,brand new Dtac sim card this morning, but the phone was red hot over the last few days she is in sheer desperation and i could hear it her voice do you know what it felt like.
It felt like im a terrorist under interrogation and you know how they go over and over the same things and slowly try to break you down pshychologically until you crumble and give them the information they need or things they want to here Maybe the CIA or MI5 should be looking to some of these crazy thai girl as operatives.

They could pass a polygraph,lie on cue who knows.

One of the things that will stay with me forever is before i hung up the phone for good which pretty much says it all to me was ''if i have to go pattaya work bar i will lose my face'' so its not she loves husband and kids and wants them back its we are her last hope of her saving face.

But i feel guilty not for her, but that i had to cut my kids off from there mum by removing sim card it would feel much easier if she just disapeared and didnt call then i can always say she had our number.

But Thai people seem to know ways to get in touch through people of people , i just wish she could take the kids out to a movie or the park but thats just not there style is it!!!!

Anyway thanks again people for your help , advice and kind words and it has made a big difference as i can bounce ideas of people and i get your take on things.

And to anyone sitting reading this who is in the situation where i was months ago , stand up and get out dont let the wife and extended family keep interfering and slowly breaking you down.

Col

When I was 23 my gf at the time left me with our 2 year old son. I was just a kid myself but I raised him and loved him and we made it. His mother was a very bad person, not Thai just bad news. I also wanted her to be in his life as a mother but she was just no good for him and so he grew up without a mom. You can't make someone be something they are not. Our mistake for having children with them. That was 35 years ago. You hang in there and be strong. It will work out.