A Little Humor by Pop-Pop's Net & Games

[Garnet]

I have to admit strongly liking that one song, Paul! I suppose I probably first heard it at least a year ago, too. With that song playing in a hopping venue--and of course a few beers--it wouldn't take any encouragement at all for some gal to get me up dancing like an idiot! From what I've heard of Littke Rock, I'm sure sorry that I never visited there!

So how did you find out the name of the artist? I was lucky in that I had that first video I gave two links for come across my path--the one wherein the American is lip-syncing and bopping in front of his web cam. So either the group or else the song name were identified, and I was able to track down a very cheap source for the CD on the Internet. I haven't played it yet, though. I located a relatively inexpensive MP3 player fairly recently that I'd like to fill with songs that 'energize' me. It would be ideal if at least one other of O-Zone's songs had some of the same magic.

[businessman]

President Bush wakes up one morning, looks out of the White House window and sees "The President Sucks" written in the snow in urine. Furious, he calls in the FBI and demands the perpetrators be found. Later that day the FBI agents return.
"Well sir," says the first agent, "the urine has been analysed and it's the Vice President's". Bush goes purple with rage and shouts, "Is that all?"

"Well no sir," says the agent, "It's the First Lady's handwriting."

[farang]

Dear Technical Support

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fianc้e 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with Free$exPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my toyota Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please?

re: Dear Technical Support - 17 Jul 2005 20:12
I also have Wife 1.0 but you should be aware that Free$exPlus is limited to a 30-day trial and after that you have to buy RedLight 2.0 which is very expensive. Also it's almost impossible to get hold of RL2 as Wife 1.0 hogs all the bandwidth. Cleanhouse 2004 is shareware and the only way to keep it going is to do your share or you get inundated with nag-screens.

re: Dear Technical Support - 17 Jul 2005 20:55
Heh heh! Brilliant! What you need to do, obviously, is obtain a couple of key software packages, that can help alleviate your problem. The first is DogWalk 3.2, which can be used to re-activate LadsNight Out, Although you need to be running MobilePhoneBatteryFailure 1.4, in order for this to work properly.
The second is GardenShedTools 5, which will enable the continued use of Playboy 6.9 and even Razzle 8, although trying to use ReadersWivesSpecial 4.3 could lead to your hardware being infected by the AmINotEnoughForYou worm.

Last, but not least, is BeautySallonVoucher 7, which, if run regularly, can clear up a whole host of other issues, such as TurboStop and Whinge, and can lead to enhanced Free$exPlus and FavouriteDinner 2.3. With regular updates, you may even find that Football 4.5 works, although overuse is not recommended. BeautySallonVoucher 7 is expensive, however, but well worth the investment. Especially as most people tell me that SayingILoveYouRegularly 10.6 is now so unreliable as to be downright dangerous.

Hope all this helps, and that your hardware and software can remain trouble-free; although as we all know, when Wife 1.0 is involved, nothing is guaranteed.

[farang]

the slowest game on the Internet

http://www.windowbox.com/game/index.html

[businessman]

Linguistic Lapses

In a Bangkok dry-cleaner's shop: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Hong Kong dress shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.
In a Copenhagen airline office: We take your bags & send them in all directions.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend your afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride own your own ass?

[Garnet]

Hear your Web search results spoken aloud:

http://www.speegle.co.uk/

[Paul]

well it works but still can't decide if the speaker has a German or north European accent - or maybe just a speech impediment LOL

[businessman]

There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy. The old man replied,

[farang]

An English professor wrote the words :

"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

[farang]

If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?

[BangkokButcher]

If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon?

That one was just brilliant

[farang]

i still think this ones the best one lol .....

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys 1 banana, 1 apple, a muesli bar, a small loaf and a ready meal for 1...as she is stood at the checkout a bloke taps her on the shoulder, looks into her basket and says
"Excuse me but you're single aren't you"?
the girl looks at him coyly and says "How did you know that"?
"Easy" says the bloke........ "You're a f**kin MINGER!!!!"

[BangkokButcher]

[businessman]

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."

The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question ."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

[farang]

http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic952.htm

[farang]

http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic1040.htm

[BangkokButcher]

Brilliant, the 1st links better though

[farang]

lol this one made us chuckle
http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic748.htm

[thethailife]

http://www.barry.fireflyinternet.co.uk/ ... /pilot.htm

[thethailife]

You Have Two Cows

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.