Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
It looks like i have been pretty lucky. With one minor exception, never been 'expected' to pay. Ok, maybe being set up for the long term sting. Have 4 experiences to mention, all fairly good.
1. Met one girl for first time, she brought 2 of family with her and had hired or borrowed a songtaew for the evening. They chose a mid range restaurant, but said they would pay half of bill. I paid, but my choice. Also they declined help with paying the driver.
2. One friend i met, she drove me around, paid for many snacls, drinks, one or 2 meals, suggested i stay at Ruysuk (which i had already chosen, but good sign, on my Cheap charlie wavelength), bought me a few presents. I realised after a while i had hit gold. Pity i lost that one, but still a good friend.
3. Other friend. spend a lot of time at the home + business, fed for free, fish in their lake, family never ask for anything. Ok, she did, but always asked nicely, never demanded, and always thanked when i cough up. clothes shopping done in night market, fortunately.
4. Bargirl, friend more than 'companion', have given her a few tips, never greedy, i sometimes get an extra drink, last time offered her some money as a present before i left, declined, 'No need, have money saved in bank' i am told.
So, four generally positive experiences against one so-so (and also elsewhere given more drinks by thais than vice versa). Maybe i am called names behind my back, but certainly not being used as an ATM. I certainly do consider myself as careful with money (if i was not, the UK wife would have bankrupted me long ago). Am i just lucky in udon? Not here long enough to be stung? or do some of you have really bad luck or selective memories?
1. Met one girl for first time, she brought 2 of family with her and had hired or borrowed a songtaew for the evening. They chose a mid range restaurant, but said they would pay half of bill. I paid, but my choice. Also they declined help with paying the driver.
2. One friend i met, she drove me around, paid for many snacls, drinks, one or 2 meals, suggested i stay at Ruysuk (which i had already chosen, but good sign, on my Cheap charlie wavelength), bought me a few presents. I realised after a while i had hit gold. Pity i lost that one, but still a good friend.
3. Other friend. spend a lot of time at the home + business, fed for free, fish in their lake, family never ask for anything. Ok, she did, but always asked nicely, never demanded, and always thanked when i cough up. clothes shopping done in night market, fortunately.
4. Bargirl, friend more than 'companion', have given her a few tips, never greedy, i sometimes get an extra drink, last time offered her some money as a present before i left, declined, 'No need, have money saved in bank' i am told.
So, four generally positive experiences against one so-so (and also elsewhere given more drinks by thais than vice versa). Maybe i am called names behind my back, but certainly not being used as an ATM. I certainly do consider myself as careful with money (if i was not, the UK wife would have bankrupted me long ago). Am i just lucky in udon? Not here long enough to be stung? or do some of you have really bad luck or selective memories?
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I married the one who handled money better then I did
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I had one before that was typical - offer to take her out to a nice restaurant. "Can Mama come too?". Me - "yes of course dear". 15 people turn up, I had to pay, not one word of thanks.
With the next girl - all the above plus she bought a brand new Honda car which I was paying for on the drip, without me even knowing.
Needless to say, neither lasted too long.
On the bright side, not all are the same. I'm now married and her family are wonderful - never ask for anything (both parents work), but I do take them out and pay for a meal for all of us. Distant relatives never come along unless asked. If I pay, then I am thanked and thanked again. If something is too expensive, TW says so and suggests I don't buy. The wife also doesn't like to ask for anything and only does when she needs something for the kids - so I try to keep her topped up with baht then she doesn't have to ask. (She's happy having around 200 baht in her purse thank goodness and not 20,000!!). I bake a cake for them or cook a pork roast dinner sometimes and Papa brings a beer or two around. Wonderful - in fact, so better than my ex-wife's (falang) family.
It's been a real eye-opener meeting the TW and her family - I can honestly say there are some wonderful Thai people around. BUT it took me about 5 years to find her, heartache aplenty and a steep learning curve with others beforehand. I suspect much the same story of many long-termers in Thailand.
Summary - I'm not tight and happy to pay if I can. Won't pay any higher prices than a Thai - I let TW deal with that. Happy to buy a few rounds at the pub, slip the TW brother a few baht (uni student=mostly broke). I haven't met too many tight falangs around - most are happy to share in a round or two. But have come across many stories like mine above.
I suppose from our own "falang" point of view, many are just looking after the money/income/pension that they have which is what we're supposed to do. Many Thais just don't get that, or appreciate that's what we're doing.
Cheers
Phil
With the next girl - all the above plus she bought a brand new Honda car which I was paying for on the drip, without me even knowing.
Needless to say, neither lasted too long.
On the bright side, not all are the same. I'm now married and her family are wonderful - never ask for anything (both parents work), but I do take them out and pay for a meal for all of us. Distant relatives never come along unless asked. If I pay, then I am thanked and thanked again. If something is too expensive, TW says so and suggests I don't buy. The wife also doesn't like to ask for anything and only does when she needs something for the kids - so I try to keep her topped up with baht then she doesn't have to ask. (She's happy having around 200 baht in her purse thank goodness and not 20,000!!). I bake a cake for them or cook a pork roast dinner sometimes and Papa brings a beer or two around. Wonderful - in fact, so better than my ex-wife's (falang) family.
It's been a real eye-opener meeting the TW and her family - I can honestly say there are some wonderful Thai people around. BUT it took me about 5 years to find her, heartache aplenty and a steep learning curve with others beforehand. I suspect much the same story of many long-termers in Thailand.
Summary - I'm not tight and happy to pay if I can. Won't pay any higher prices than a Thai - I let TW deal with that. Happy to buy a few rounds at the pub, slip the TW brother a few baht (uni student=mostly broke). I haven't met too many tight falangs around - most are happy to share in a round or two. But have come across many stories like mine above.
I suppose from our own "falang" point of view, many are just looking after the money/income/pension that they have which is what we're supposed to do. Many Thais just don't get that, or appreciate that's what we're doing.
Cheers
Phil
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Back in the UK, it is common practice when out with friends to buy 'rounds' (take it in turns to pay for each round of drinks).
If there was a black sheep in the group who was a bit slow to 'get the round in' or always went to the toilet when it was his turn to pay - he would soon find he was not asked out often any more.
We don't like instances like that.
It doesn't matter one bit if he has a lower or higher salary than you - he must pay his way - or go out on his own !
In some circumstances we might all chip in and buy his drinks for him if he was 'down on his luck' but usually when things got better he would repay the favour somehow.
Many Thais play at being the 'black sheep' and we seem to be more accepting of this behaviour here - why is that.
If it was in our home countries they would find themselves eating and drinking alone quite often.
Why do Thais never get called stingy or sticky ?
Although I have heard Chinese-Thais get called it on several occasions
If there was a black sheep in the group who was a bit slow to 'get the round in' or always went to the toilet when it was his turn to pay - he would soon find he was not asked out often any more.
We don't like instances like that.
It doesn't matter one bit if he has a lower or higher salary than you - he must pay his way - or go out on his own !
In some circumstances we might all chip in and buy his drinks for him if he was 'down on his luck' but usually when things got better he would repay the favour somehow.
Many Thais play at being the 'black sheep' and we seem to be more accepting of this behaviour here - why is that.
If it was in our home countries they would find themselves eating and drinking alone quite often.
Why do Thais never get called stingy or sticky ?
Although I have heard Chinese-Thais get called it on several occasions
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Have had a few experiences like that where the TG family and us go out for lunch, and enivitably, the check bin comes to me. By our standards not that expensive, but it still p@sses me off, that no one even offers to help with the bill.
The last time was in August, and my girlfriend said that we were taking out her daughter for dinner for her 18th birthday. Now I thought that this was a great idea that the three of us would go out together, as it would allow me to"bond"with her daughter. 27 people, including us, showed up, and guess who got the bill. 3000bht. later
, and alone with my girlfriend, I lost it on her and told her in no uncertain terms that if that sh@t ever happened again, it would be the last time she ever saw me. She offered to pay for the bill, and I explained to her that, that wasn't the point. I refuse to be the free lunch guarantor for her family. I told her, no more surprises!!! So from now on, she is going to let me know when the family is going to have an outing, and I'm going to pass on it. Simple as that.
It's not a question of if I can afford it, to me, is a lack of respect from them towards me, and I refuse to be a part of that.
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- Dublin Tony
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Over here the farang has to look out for number one because certainly your wifes family and friends wont do it for you.
When I first came over I was a bit naive,like many.I just accepted paying for anything like meals for the family or anyone I had ever said hello to in my girlfriends presence.
But over time your attitudes harden and you realise they are just taking the p**s !
I dont mind Thais calling me tight fisted because once the money runs out you will get no sympathy and just be replaced in time by another naive lamb to the slaughter !
When I first came over I was a bit naive,like many.I just accepted paying for anything like meals for the family or anyone I had ever said hello to in my girlfriends presence.
But over time your attitudes harden and you realise they are just taking the p**s !
I dont mind Thais calling me tight fisted because once the money runs out you will get no sympathy and just be replaced in time by another naive lamb to the slaughter !
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Dublin Tony... I think you have a point there about "once the money runs out you will get no sympathy." I am trying to understand this behaviour from their value of "naam jai" generosity. It should give you self esteem to pay for others. Perhaps! "Naam jai" seems to have higher priority than many other values. Maybe this works in a small village setting, where most are relatively equal in wealth, but it doesn't seem to work in the modern world of big cities, where interdependence is not so strong. So there is only a very small chance of repaying the "naam jai". Thais will repay in other ways, like showing you respect, deference, etc, but in the modern setting, and we being farang so not in their main social hierarchy, over time, this just doesn't cut it as repayment. But, they truly think that you are the beneficiary by showing generosity. I think they ought to re-evaluate this thought, with a consideration that we are farang.
One would think that if you were good to the family/friends for many many years, and then you had some problem with your finances, they would all come to your side to help. I am certain that there are occasions where that has happened, but either the negative stories are the only ones that get bandied about or maybe these occasions of reciprocation are very very rare. I have an inkling that the latter is more accurate.
One day in the future perhaps I could speak, read, write, Thai as well as any Thai. Perhaps then I would also be able to emulate Thai values and mannerisms, same as any Thai. But in the end, I would never be "Khon Thai" I do feel this is NOT true in some place like the US. Don't get me wrong, I think there are many things we can and should try to learn from Thai culture.
One would think that if you were good to the family/friends for many many years, and then you had some problem with your finances, they would all come to your side to help. I am certain that there are occasions where that has happened, but either the negative stories are the only ones that get bandied about or maybe these occasions of reciprocation are very very rare. I have an inkling that the latter is more accurate.
One day in the future perhaps I could speak, read, write, Thai as well as any Thai. Perhaps then I would also be able to emulate Thai values and mannerisms, same as any Thai. But in the end, I would never be "Khon Thai" I do feel this is NOT true in some place like the US. Don't get me wrong, I think there are many things we can and should try to learn from Thai culture.
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Interesting topic to bring it off the wood as some behaviours for the Thais up there look normal for them but can be very annoying,destructive for us.
The concept of kiniao is a recurrent theme in Thailand.![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
No need to go to Isaan..kiniao is like the worst disease a farang can have..in Pattaya things are straighter normally(bf..st..lt..follow the market prices)but still you will be called kiniao sometimes or they would say it's one of the worst thing to be.
Bs or not..they just defend their bread.
As stated on the other thread(pooyin over 25)i've encontered the contrary where each one paid their parts and even i've had some nights out where they've paid for me.
This was in Bangkok with middle class Thai or Thai chinese..they weren't rich..just from the middle class but when i wanted to pay more than them,they said no.
I've looked at their wallet and you could see only some hundreds bath notes..so they weren't wealthy.
I've went also some days in Nakhom Pathom..same same there...we shared the expenses.
I had others stories where i was invited to eat and i didn't spent any bath.
I had on the other side being in Isaan near Ban Phai and this time i went with my frog friend,like me,to a party place for Thai.
We were around 10 and there was another farang..when the bill came..this was put in front of our eyes..we for sure paid almost everything..and for the Thais being with us for this night,it was normal.
Maybe we can see some differences from where the Thais are coming..from what social extraction they are..
Sincerely,i know that i will head for some surprises in UT.
Hope they will be more good than bad.
This is what is it when i go to new places..i've have some experiences of Thailand but to be an ATM machine it's way over the top.
If my friends,or my gf(if i met one)treat me like this..i think i would end up alone quit fast.
To share or to pay more some times..why not..but they should understand that i'm not rich,i'm not willing to be the milking cow,and i'm going nowhere coz i will end up soon without a bath(they won't feed me when i'm there..up to me isnt'it?)
This is a serious subject "the kiniao card"coz as others variants it will be a big minus in my social interaction wih Thais in UT.
I'm not intending to be a loner or going only some days and take a bg..i really hope to have some Thai friends..i will see on the ground what is it all about...but in now way i will be the perpetual ATM machine with his wallet open.
![Neutral :|](./images/smilies/icon_neutral.gif)
The concept of kiniao is a recurrent theme in Thailand.
![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
No need to go to Isaan..kiniao is like the worst disease a farang can have..in Pattaya things are straighter normally(bf..st..lt..follow the market prices)but still you will be called kiniao sometimes or they would say it's one of the worst thing to be.
Bs or not..they just defend their bread.
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
As stated on the other thread(pooyin over 25)i've encontered the contrary where each one paid their parts and even i've had some nights out where they've paid for me.
This was in Bangkok with middle class Thai or Thai chinese..they weren't rich..just from the middle class but when i wanted to pay more than them,they said no.
I've looked at their wallet and you could see only some hundreds bath notes..so they weren't wealthy.
I've went also some days in Nakhom Pathom..same same there...we shared the expenses.
I had others stories where i was invited to eat and i didn't spent any bath.
I had on the other side being in Isaan near Ban Phai and this time i went with my frog friend,like me,to a party place for Thai.
We were around 10 and there was another farang..when the bill came..this was put in front of our eyes..we for sure paid almost everything..and for the Thais being with us for this night,it was normal.
![Eh? :-s](./images/smilies/eusa_eh.gif)
Maybe we can see some differences from where the Thais are coming..from what social extraction they are..
Sincerely,i know that i will head for some surprises in UT.
Hope they will be more good than bad.
This is what is it when i go to new places..i've have some experiences of Thailand but to be an ATM machine it's way over the top.
If my friends,or my gf(if i met one)treat me like this..i think i would end up alone quit fast.
![Think :-k](./images/smilies/eusa_think.gif)
To share or to pay more some times..why not..but they should understand that i'm not rich,i'm not willing to be the milking cow,and i'm going nowhere coz i will end up soon without a bath(they won't feed me when i'm there..up to me isnt'it?)
This is a serious subject "the kiniao card"coz as others variants it will be a big minus in my social interaction wih Thais in UT.
I'm not intending to be a loner or going only some days and take a bg..i really hope to have some Thai friends..i will see on the ground what is it all about...but in now way i will be the perpetual ATM machine with his wallet open.
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I believe that most Thais believe all farangs in Thailand are millionaires.So they think the millionaires should pay for everything.
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Those were the days! Not any longer I'm afraid. Many of my Thai friends ask me upon seeing the many scruffs around, "How can he afford 50k for the airfare yet dress like a tramp.?" They are starting to realise that many farang visiting are just ordinary manual workers, lowly paid when you consider the cost of living in their country, and possibly saved for 2 years or will be paying his credit card off for the next two, to enjoy his "holiday of a lifetime" in Thailand .Don't worry . The girls seriously looking for a rich husband have got the difference sussed .thrilled wrote:I believe that most Thais believe all farangs in Thailand are millionaires.So they think the millionaires should pay for everything.
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
It is very simple ,IMO!When we don't meet many of Thais expectations for us,because of their attitude towards falangs for whatever reasons,there is an inner feeling of ''loss of face''and ''Keeniow'' is a reactionary remark that comes from that moment.
It is kind of like thre kid,that is embarrassed in a situation and reacts with a disrepectful saying,not that it is a fact,but because they want to ''hit back'' emotionally!
I have always contended ,in a general speaking way as one can not label all people the same,that Thai people,because of their propagandized xenophobic programming, horrible formal education system,think very simple and react emotionally when something happens that doesn't fit in their simple minds.
Predjudice on their part and arrogance and untoward actions by many falangs are great influences on their ''keeniow'' and other perceived negative terms directed towards us!
Sometimes their expectations towards us are so preposturous that they set themselves up for that reactionary emtional feeling that leads to a negative saying!An example:When I first moved to NK,I was looking for a quality relatively thin metal stand to go in an area next to the toilets in the house I had rented!I couldn't find anything like what I had in mind ,quality wise,only finding a standard plastic coated wire stand that were plentiful everywhere at 79 baht to 100 baht!After weeks of looking,we were on our way home and I decided to buy one of these units.Seeing a small stall store in town that we were passing,my wife and i stopped to buy one on display.Asked the lady how much,she responded''350 baht''!I laughed and just said no thank you and walked away!The shopowner lady tells my wife that I am ''keeniow''because I refused to let her serve this customer in such a disrepectful way!
I probably am ''keeniow'',as I very very seldom buy anything that doesn't have a price displayed!Obvious ripoffs and corrupt extortions are not acceptable behavior to me and I choose to not associate or interact in anyway with people like that,if possible!!!I have always been that way,yet I am a very loyal customer a friend to those that are fairminded,honest and trustworthy in thei actions regularly.
The price is incidental,if it is reasonable,especially if they are small business people that are customer service oriented because I want them to make a fair profit so they can stay in business and there is a friendlier atmosphere created.I will stand extra costs to go out of my way for this type of person,plus they are the type I tip and help out when I perceive some help is warranted!
I know I am not cheap as I consider myself a prudent selective shopper that get reasonable value for my money even though I might be able to be wasteful spender!I don't feel a need for ''things'' in my life anymore,so I am not much of an impulse buyer,usually taking my time looking for good and fair value on items I might have interest in!
When I shop at Tesco-Lotus,I buy multiple items of regular purchase items when they are at well reduced sale prices that I can see are good savings.I consider that wise and prudent ,because someone else sees that as cheap or ''keeniow'' is not my problem as they become irrelevant to my lifestyle.If it is not my business to compete for their approval or concern myself with what they think of me,then it is my business to concern myself of how I feel about myself as a person!![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
It is kind of like thre kid,that is embarrassed in a situation and reacts with a disrepectful saying,not that it is a fact,but because they want to ''hit back'' emotionally!
I have always contended ,in a general speaking way as one can not label all people the same,that Thai people,because of their propagandized xenophobic programming, horrible formal education system,think very simple and react emotionally when something happens that doesn't fit in their simple minds.
Predjudice on their part and arrogance and untoward actions by many falangs are great influences on their ''keeniow'' and other perceived negative terms directed towards us!
Sometimes their expectations towards us are so preposturous that they set themselves up for that reactionary emtional feeling that leads to a negative saying!An example:When I first moved to NK,I was looking for a quality relatively thin metal stand to go in an area next to the toilets in the house I had rented!I couldn't find anything like what I had in mind ,quality wise,only finding a standard plastic coated wire stand that were plentiful everywhere at 79 baht to 100 baht!After weeks of looking,we were on our way home and I decided to buy one of these units.Seeing a small stall store in town that we were passing,my wife and i stopped to buy one on display.Asked the lady how much,she responded''350 baht''!I laughed and just said no thank you and walked away!The shopowner lady tells my wife that I am ''keeniow''because I refused to let her serve this customer in such a disrepectful way!
I probably am ''keeniow'',as I very very seldom buy anything that doesn't have a price displayed!Obvious ripoffs and corrupt extortions are not acceptable behavior to me and I choose to not associate or interact in anyway with people like that,if possible!!!I have always been that way,yet I am a very loyal customer a friend to those that are fairminded,honest and trustworthy in thei actions regularly.
The price is incidental,if it is reasonable,especially if they are small business people that are customer service oriented because I want them to make a fair profit so they can stay in business and there is a friendlier atmosphere created.I will stand extra costs to go out of my way for this type of person,plus they are the type I tip and help out when I perceive some help is warranted!
I know I am not cheap as I consider myself a prudent selective shopper that get reasonable value for my money even though I might be able to be wasteful spender!I don't feel a need for ''things'' in my life anymore,so I am not much of an impulse buyer,usually taking my time looking for good and fair value on items I might have interest in!
When I shop at Tesco-Lotus,I buy multiple items of regular purchase items when they are at well reduced sale prices that I can see are good savings.I consider that wise and prudent ,because someone else sees that as cheap or ''keeniow'' is not my problem as they become irrelevant to my lifestyle.If it is not my business to compete for their approval or concern myself with what they think of me,then it is my business to concern myself of how I feel about myself as a person!
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- Instowman
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I have read several forums on a similar theme – money and it seems to me that over the years the farangs have trained Thai women into a cargo cult mentality. Western man = Meal Ticket.
I had an Asian wife for 22 years until sadly she passed away and in all that time we shared everything 50/50
Because I did have a greater income than my wife I automatically paid for the luxuries in life like business class travel on holidays, mainly because I wanted it, but if I had not she would have been perfectly happy to travel economy.
I was never asked to pay for anything out of the norm.
The only time I came across “asking for money” was when one of her brothers asked her for money to pay off his debts, her answer was no and that was accepted by the brother and an end to the matter.
I don’t believe all this “farang he pay for everything” is a cultural thing I think it is a bad habit trained into some Thais by farangs who want to keep up with their western Jones rather than the lady keeping up with her friends.
I suggest that if your relationship is based on money see it for what it is and not believe any love is involved.
I had an Asian wife for 22 years until sadly she passed away and in all that time we shared everything 50/50
Because I did have a greater income than my wife I automatically paid for the luxuries in life like business class travel on holidays, mainly because I wanted it, but if I had not she would have been perfectly happy to travel economy.
I was never asked to pay for anything out of the norm.
The only time I came across “asking for money” was when one of her brothers asked her for money to pay off his debts, her answer was no and that was accepted by the brother and an end to the matter.
I don’t believe all this “farang he pay for everything” is a cultural thing I think it is a bad habit trained into some Thais by farangs who want to keep up with their western Jones rather than the lady keeping up with her friends.
I suggest that if your relationship is based on money see it for what it is and not believe any love is involved.
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I was called kinneow just yesterday when a neighbor lady saw me humping several empty boxes of beer to the curb to sell to the recycler guy on his tuk-tuk. She couldn't believe my wife and I would stoop to such a lowbrow activity as to NOT throw all the bottles directly into the garbage (for them to scavenge).
I wear my thriftiness as a badge of honor. I have no interest at all in putting on airs and trying to pretend I'm something I'm not. I think that show-off mentality completely wore off before I turned 18.
It's alive and well here among all manner of adults. Ever been to a Thai wedding? Sickening.
I wear my thriftiness as a badge of honor. I have no interest at all in putting on airs and trying to pretend I'm something I'm not. I think that show-off mentality completely wore off before I turned 18.
It's alive and well here among all manner of adults. Ever been to a Thai wedding? Sickening.
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
i dont care how long farangs have been in thailand. we are cash cows. im often told i am kinneow. i thrive on it. ive worked hard all my life. whats mine is mine. its not appreciated any way. malc
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
But why do we allow ourselves to be so?MALC wrote: we are cash cows.
My only explanation is that the Thais have extremely thick skin and are not in the slightest bit embarrassed to expect and demand or request what they want or expect.
We westerners are more used to people 'pulling their weight' or sharing the cost and would feel uncomfortable if the other person constantly paid, and thats without any prompting.
It worsens when the other person wants something, or 'buys' something and then automatically turns to you and waits for you to pay for their purchase.
In my book, if I don't have the money - I cant buy it.
It also happens when they don't even ask you if they can have something (new shoes or an iced coffee) they go ahead and 'purchase' it knowing full well that you will pay for it as they don't have any money and we are placed in a very uncomfortable position where now both the other person and the shopkeeper is waiting expectantly for you to pay - and we do out of embarrassment.
If we were to refuse - it would be us who were frowned upon and called Kee Niaw - despite the fact that we were not the ones who bought something in the first place even we had no money.
Why is the 'blame' never put on the Thai - why does the shopkeeper not get angry with the Thai for 'buying' something they don't have money for ? - No the blame then falls on the farang,
Its our nature to avoid embarrassment and just 'pay up'.
It's possibly a cultural thing - Thais don't get embarrassed or shamed ? - We do !
- arjay
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
I would tend to agree with Instowman that we farangs have allowed/caused them to develop, cultivate, even perpetuate this mentality, over an extended period of time. And it's now taught & explained by their families, peers,siblings, neighbours, etc. I have even come across tuk tuk drivers and strangers who counsel them in the street. All creating & building on these expectations. I could list countless examples, but will give a couple.I have read several forums on a similar theme – money and it seems to me that over the years the farangs have trained Thai women into a cargo cult mentality. Western man = Meal Ticket.
Ten years ago visiting/bringing a girl back to Udon and being shown around the area including some plots of land and wooden houses. GF later told me her older sister had said that if he doesn't buy you a house or give you (big) money soon, get rid of him.
Respectable GF in Phuket being told make sure he buys you a house and/or gives you a baby, by virtual strangers.
Friends of mine, upon meeting a potential new GF, being dragged off to the supermarket to stock the family up with provisions for the next month, or during their first meeting, calling in at the mobile phone shop and being asked to buy her a new phone.
If one could find a lady who was not exposed to those influences, I'm fairly sure she would not exhibit those behaviours or have such expectations.
I doubt these girls would have such expectations if farangs had never done such things for them, (their peers or families) before.
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Farangs do it to themselves (collectively) by giving in to such extortion. Mak Daddy wiring money to the poor little drunken daddy or the hapless child with no baht for school. Cry me a f***** river. What would these poor dirt-farming urchins do if the noble, valiant knight on the trusty, white steed didn't charge to the rescue with baht flying out of his ass? They'd make do as they have for centuries without us.
What's in it for the farang? Ha!
It really ain't worth it, is it?
What's in it for the farang? Ha!
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
It really ain't worth it, is it?
Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
Of course, consider the strata...A family who takes money from a daughter they have sold into prostitution (or who has sold herself into prostitution) is not exactly going to put on an air of sophistication when the John comes around. For every family that tells their daughter to hook up with a Farang there are ten families trying to convince their daughters to stay away from Farangs because everyone knows all they are interested in is sex. No "good" girl would be seen in public with a Farang because other Thai's will think she's a hooker.
- jackspratt
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
It would seem, inevitably, that this thread has deteriorated into cliches and stereotypes... sigh!
What is it about the deep south![Think :-k](./images/smilies/eusa_think.gif)
What is it about the deep south
![Think :-k](./images/smilies/eusa_think.gif)
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Re: Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?
dbriggins wrote:Of course, consider the strata...A family who takes money from a daughter they have sold into prostitution (or who has sold herself into prostitution) is not exactly going to put on an air of sophistication when the John comes around. For every family that tells their daughter to hook up with a Farang there are ten families trying to convince their daughters to stay away from Farangs because everyone knows all they are interested in is sex. No "good" girl would be seen in public with a Farang because other Thai's will think she's a hooker.
![Confused :confused:](./images/smilies/uhoh3.gif)
It's pretty obvious you have no idea who***** is (Name removed by Moderator); otherwise you wouldn't make such a statement.