You really cant tell can you? (Wife leaves me)

[maaka]

I SUPPORT JELLO'S LAST COMMENTS 150 %..

Zona you have got to get off the focus of your wife, and onto the possibility of losing your son from your life, your town, your country..

I have been there, I was cockahoop too, thinking my good character, my caring supportive family, my good job and having the house my baby grew up in, would sway things in my direction, but nooooooo...you are on the back foot right from the start because the wife, the woman, is seen as the nurturer, not the man...the mere fact that your wife has gone to a womens refuse center, will cast the light on you as an abuser. its just how the system thinks...you are gulity before you have done anything, so to turn that around will take every hour and everyday and more between now and Oct 10 just to prepare your case, your evdience, witnesses, etc etc.this is not about getting back at the missus, its about having contact, having access to your son for ther rest of your life...if you have never been to the Family Court before, take a day off and go and sit in and learn, prepare yourself.

I lost my wee boy overseas for ten years, the boy I deleivered into this world, it was like my heart had been fregging cut out, and run over by a bulldozer, and then set on fire..I would tell you the dark places I went too, but its a place where many dont come back from..

I have been where you are, so I can giving you my full attention, and I not just some dude playing a guessing game here..your wife could just sit in court supported by her monk and thai friends, and say I no understand english, do a little pantomine, and still win hands down...I have been invovled in law for 20yrs, nothing ever goes the way you think will....

so get a lawyer now who has good Family Court experience, ask him to show you his last few case decisions...lawyers are like mechanics, good ones and bad ones...fork out and get the best, dont pussy about and think you know it all..get an expert because you will need one, if you want your son to stay in australia..

[BenZona]

Jello and makka. Legal stuff is well in hand. Positioning is well in hand. I am aware of the (so called) bias in the family law courts. Ive won a custody case before.

Despite the bias in certain that, as defined by the act, the babies best interests are served by being in the family home WHATEVER the mother says, there are no accusations against him.

My lawyer today told me she will be seen as unstable to say the least, in Australia 2001 you cannot vanish AND withhold contact for a child unless you have a VERY good reason, and even domestic violence is not a good enough reason to not let a child see a parent

Thanks for the advice guys. The legal side of things is the one side i am 100% on the ball with. I have already maneuvered myself into a position where she cant possible make any more accusations, an i have put the onus on her to contact me.. the longer she does not, the worse it will seem.

Judges have to look at what a parent will do to facilitate a relationship with the other parent, and ive seen first hand, how not being able to do that loses custody cases

She might THINK she is doing well, her dyke helpers might well believe that too but, the wife does not realize who she is up against, and the helpers do not realize they are not dealing with a born and bred Aussie, they are dealing with a visa scammer who has only had her visa for two months

Let them spin their stories, im sure it will get them nowhere because there is not one single shred of evidence to support it

9 days and counting that i have not seen my son

she disgusts me

[mangkhut]

Sorry to hear this story. However I have heared even far worse stuff about thai women although most of them seem to be far more decent than their western counterparts....


Benzoma wrote:

She has been the violent one throughout our relationship, She once attacked me in the street outside Mr Tongs, She forced me and my daughter to leave the village under threat of having us killed, at 11pm at night. She has smashed me about on at least five other occasions

In the hindsight maybe - but shouldnt a bell or two have been ringing a little earlier....?

Anyway I hope justice will come to this case. Good luck friend!

[BenZona]

Sorry to hear this story. However I have heared even far worse stuff about thai women although most of them seem to be far more decent than their western counterparts....


Benzoma wrote:

She has been the violent one throughout our relationship, She once attacked me in the street outside Mr Tongs, She forced me and my daughter to leave the village under threat of having us killed, at 11pm at night. She has smashed me about on at least five other occasions

In the hindsight maybe - but shouldnt a bell or two have been ringing a little earlier....?

Anyway I hope justice will come to this case. Good luck friend!

They have been ringing on that front for a long time
Is that you Hennng?

[fatbob]

'You really cant tell can you', BenZona you posted on June 19 on the thread titled ' Thai attitudes to marriage'. In that post you dont come across to well as a caring husband, quite the opposite in fact.

[BenZona]

'You really cant tell can you', BenZona you posted on June 19 on the thread titled ' Thai attitudes to marriage'. In that post you dont come across to well as a caring husband, quite the opposite in fact.

another assumption, y r u still here, I thought id "lost" you, or by lost do you actually mean make snide little comments about someone you know nothing about. If you want to be a sucker that gives all your money to a thai girl, be my guest. I prefer to keep my money for my own family than give all of it to two adults of my own age thanks.

Now run along little boy, your ATM card is needed by the wifes mother for a buffalo
anyone that equates $$$ to love or a relationship is a moron, or a girlie bar customer

[fatbob]

Getting a bit agro eh, I'll run along to my happy life, as Thais say "som nam na".

[AroyFarang]

Guy comes online to share his experience of A thai lady from Udon or surrounds. Most members give him heartfelt advice but a couple feel the need to see things that arent there and comment on them. C'mon guys this poor guy is going through what Im sure is one of the worst times of his life. How about a little support Coxo and a few others?

[BenZona]

Getting a bit agro eh, I'll run along to my happy life, as Thais say "som nam na".

I wish i was you, you marry a prossie then brag about eternal happiness with a "normal" girl.... congrats..my life has been wasted.... now .....back to getting my son home

[Charoensri]

What the f--k, 'not a bar girl' now I think you are a total dick with that statement, my missus was, she is great and after 8 years I have had no **** from her at all, you just lost me Ben Zoa!

You mean your wife was a former bargirl/prostitute?

[fatbob]

Yes, like many others, who I might add are happy.

[BenZona]

Yes, like many others, who I might add are happy.

Who, the prostitutes?? Im sure they are, they they are selling themselves for money and suddenly they r not, a good result id say

[Charoensri]

Yes, like many others, who I might add are happy.

Oh well whatever floats your boat. Low self-esteem, package trip to the land of scams, rescue some poor hooker from her sad life in a bar. More pricks than a second-hand dartboard. Hook, line and sinker. Roll on the next mug.

[fatbob]

An Asian women forced into prostitution to put food on the table for her family due to poverty, in most cases a western women forced into prostition to support a habbit, equally as sad. Does that make them bad people?
Having been a permenante resident of Thailand since 1996-7 and having regularly travelled here and S E Asia since the late 70's I find some comments on an expat forum rather strange for Thailand expats and very different from the views of the permenant expats I know. BenZona, you opened the door with your comments on the 'Thai attitude to marriage' post, I wish you all the best, but I am now leaving this thread alone.

[jackspratt]

Oh well whatever floats your boat. Low self-esteem, package trip to the land of scams, rescue some poor hooker from her sad life in a bar. More pricks than a second-hand dartboard. Hook, line and sinker. Roll on the next mug.

Nice caricature - just like the rest of the post.

[cute girl 555+]

Ohhhhh khun Charoensri, I really like the pic!! How thai girls love farangs who have doubles ages of thai girls? and farangs are old, fat and don't have good-looking? money? I think it's correct but it's the commiment if farangs and thai girls wanna live together. I think not all for thai girls are like that. I think there are many nice thai woman out there, no matter what work they do. If you're lucky, you can find her. If you're unlucky, you find a bad girl and crap. After I have read a lot of comments from this forum, I understand how farangs who were scammed feel. In my point of view, I think farangs are nice but after I have read this forum, I just know that many of you are cynical. Many of you critisize about Thai people and Thai culture and many things, mostly in bad way????

[Charoensri]

Nice caricature - just like the rest of the post.

You too eh? And the suckers keep on lining up to rescue the hookers from their life of misery. Oh my aching sides.

[BenZona]

An Asian women forced into prostitution to put food on the table for her family due to poverty, in most cases a western women forced into prostition to support a habbit, equally as sad. Does that make them bad people? .

No it does not, but whatever way you look at it i bet most of the scammers that suckers get ripped off by are bar girls

Having been a permenante resident of Thailand since 1996-7 and having regularly travelled here and S E Asia since the late 70's I find some comments on an expat forum rather strange for Thailand expats and very different from the views of the permenant expats I know.

So what, you probably met a bunch of honest prossies, im sure there are some. Either way whatever prossie you married does not make your assumptions of me, a guy who has given his partner everything HE COULD AFFORD for over two years including a year in Australia, a private hospital birth, medical fees, visa fees, a wedding, clothes, food and a life she (so she told me) could only dream of as a child... only to find, 6 weeks after getting her visa, that she leaves in the middle of the night justifiable

BenZona, you opened the door with your comments on the 'Thai attitude to marriage' post, I wish you all the best, but I am now leaving this thread alone.

Good, I think my post in that forum simply said that i refused (and will always refuse) to pay for the life of two 40 year old adults who have had FORTY YEARS to support themselves. Its the muppets that do that, pay stupid sin sods, buy 5 milion baht houses in fields, and who give their wives 50k a week to spend that
1: Are the mugs
2: make it harder for those of us who dont want to waste their lifes money on strangers when they have kids of their own to support

My so called wife seemed to think, once she was here that i would send them 50% of our income.. yeah RIGHT!!!!! (lets see how she supports her family now on state benefits)

Lets not forget, this BITCH has taken my son, its fathers day this weekend, i dont know where she is, and i think as a parent i deserve more, and deserve more WITHOUT having to send some middle old thais half of what i earn.. no one can justify that

[nkstan]

I am reading a lot of judgments between posters that have probably never met.Cynicism is natural for those that have been here a long time,especially if they or friends of theirs have been burnt.Maybe we can stick to opinions and experience without attacking each other!
The OP could be an asshole or not,we don't know and this ''thing'' he is experiencing happens alot.Giving him the benefit of doubt,most of us ,IMO,should realize that he is going through one hell of a negative experience that is gut wrenching and mind warping at best.
It is my opinion that most Thai women marrying falangs do so for security and hopefully an up graded lifestyle,not love and most would not do so if they had good Thai prospects.This is especially true when the age difference is expanded.Sometimes the marriage is a designed family project with the girl highly influenced by the guidance ,design and desire of the family.
It is my considerable experienced opinion, with a small number of exceptions,that Thais ,in general,never take a falang into their heart,we are not really welcomed guests personally,only financially and always expected to pay or serve our ''hosts'',that ''smiles'' are not related to thinking kindly about us.Thais appreciation for gifts,favors or gains are limited to that experience.Their thinking is ,OK,but what else can I get and when the ''pump'' slows down or momentarily stops pumping,the problems increase dramatically!
There are some married falangs that would take issue with my comments as they are in what they believe to be honest,wonderful relationships.My sincere hope is that their happiness never changes and that they are very lucky!Cross cultural relationships need more work and understanding than most,by both partners,a few have put the effort in that it takes,and I applaud and wish them well!
In the case of our OP,if he is not an abuser,he is being used by a scammer,What ever the case,I hope justice is served,in any case!

[trubrit]

Just an observation without aligning myself on either side .For a father who has had his son abducted he is spending a lot of his time on here, plus after just four days of losing him he was apparently watching Arsenal play on television.
Not the actions normally associated with a distressed parent , I would have thought. :-"