beware of some coffee shops

Post by JR » January 4, 2013, 9:02 pm

pienmash wrote:I now understand why some have griped at my spelling when i post ,,,,,,,so much so i have enrolled on an intensive spelling course at the new My Brain Hurts and my parents dont care language school in the compek ... we did animals today.

Heres sorry here's my homework.

Kat
efalumpt.
Sperm wail

I reckon i did cock on for a beginner .

Back on topic ,,,,,,, BB ,,,, good luck with your current situation i hope things work out for you .

Mash, you got it twisted. It is not efalumpt but plufapet. Otherwise it will be seen backwards and that is not polite.

Post by **redwolf** » January 4, 2013, 9:42 pm

you guys got it all wrong its a choose your own adventure story where you are supposed to create the next chapter which is then I met grandma who asked right away for seven thousand baht to help pay the electrical as it would soon be shut off but I refused on principle because I had not yet bedded down L yet and that wily fox of a grandma she called my bluff by not allowing us to consumate within the 2 upright walls as the place was configured and when I had to go to the bathroom they told me mind the scorpions which I did until I realised thered be no peeing in this place without a big sting and I therefore suggested a hotel which L said would be a bad idea so I ate a cracker and played with ants of various sizes and colours until sunrise which was a long time coming dont you know. when we were by the river she saw a man in a jimi hendrix tshirt (who I imagine had no idea who the f jimi hendrix was) and she said this guy was her brother but his nose was fat and wide like a water buffalo and hers was thin and sharp like a canary and im no fool so I said blast this all and went back home to my real wife and kids to think things through a bit better over a few bottles of isle of jura mixed with in between shots of gasohol from the man outside our moo baan who also looked familiar but I just could not place it then I realised it was the father of L who was keeping an eye on me to make sure I would pay to finish his half done house and I saw I was in the bushes for certain now as the klong was really overflowing if you know what I mean. so then a policeman shows up and asks for my papers and I tell him I already paid this week for a ticket so could my imigration papers count for that as well but he insisted no now give him the papers or its off to the slammer for a katooy pillow party which I had no idea what he meant and so I gave him my phone bill from my home country and said it was my passport and he believed it as he was a thick bastard and couldn't read engrish just as I surmised but he did in fact nick off with my remaining bottles of isle of jura never to be seen again or so I would think at present given the information I have. out of the blue L appears and says shes preggo which amazes me as I swear we wore the protection but one can never tell its all a wash with these people and I know now what to do but so should I pull a runner back to thorpeshireburyvillewellminsteringtonford-on-sea or what as most surely its the baby of that bloke P I mentioned earlier sure as Im sitting here in the bog thinking it all through.

KB_Texas · Post by **KB_Texas** » January 4, 2013, 10:07 pm

Heheh...good one RW. Though forgive me, I skipped trying to read it, but I see what you did there.

KB

Post by **semperfiguy** » January 4, 2013, 10:54 pm

redwolf wrote:you guys got it all wrong its a choose your own adventure story where you are supposed to create the next chapter which is then I met grandma who asked right away for seven thousand baht to help pay the electrical as it would soon be shut off but I refused on principle because I had not yet bedded down L yet and that wily fox of a grandma she called my bluff by not allowing us to consumate within the 2 upright walls as the place was configured and when I had to go to the bathroom they told me mind the scorpions which I did until I realised thered be no peeing in this place without a big sting and I therefore suggested a hotel which L said would be a bad idea so I ate a cracker and played with ants of various sizes and colours until sunrise which was a long time coming dont you know. when we were by the river she saw a man in a jimi hendrix tshirt (who I imagine had no idea who the f jimi hendrix was) and she said this guy was her brother but his nose was fat and wide like a water buffalo and hers was thin and sharp like a canary and im no fool so I said blast this all and went back home to my real wife and kids to think things through a bit better over a few bottles of isle of jura mixed with in between shots of gasohol from the man outside our moo baan who also looked familiar but I just could not place it then I realised it was the father of L who was keeping an eye on me to make sure I would pay to finish his half done house and I saw I was in the bushes for certain now as the klong was really overflowing if you know what I mean. so then a policeman shows up and asks for my papers and I tell him I already paid this week for a ticket so could my imigration papers count for that as well but he insisted no now give him the papers or its off to the slammer for a katooy pillow party which I had no idea what he meant and so I gave him my phone bill from my home country and said it was my passport and he believed it as he was a thick bastard and couldn't read engrish just as I surmised but he did in fact nick off with my remaining bottles of isle of jura never to be seen again or so I would think at present given the information I have. out of the blue L appears and says shes preggo which amazes me as I swear we wore the protection but one can never tell its all a wash with these people and I know now what to do but so should I pull a runner back to thorpeshireburyvillewellminsteringtonford-on-sea or what as most surely its the baby of that bloke P I mentioned earlier sure as Im sitting here in the bog thinking it all through.

That was ingenious Redwolf! I'd like to have some of whatever it is that you're poppin'...for real!

Post by **redwolf** » January 4, 2013, 11:23 pm

KB_Texas wrote:Heheh...good one RW. Though forgive me, I skipped trying to read it, but I see what you did there.

KB

semperfiguy wrote:
That was ingenious Redwolf! I'd like to have some of whatever it is that you're poppin'...for real!

thx gents, am running fuLL bore t0night on double helping of chicken flavor mama soup minus one red pepper packet and about 6 Fox's biscuits from C.C. + 1 fanta grape on ice -thus maybe I triggered a reaction between the fanta & sugary british biscuits & thai-made MSG from the soup?

we gotta keep the story going till the OP gets back from wherever back water village he must be stuck in as he's got some 'splaining to do.

Post by **Jello** » January 5, 2013, 12:22 am

Post by **Herbman** » January 5, 2013, 4:15 am

Are you sure you are British?
I dont think so. You are thai....

Post by **sfbandung** » January 5, 2013, 5:22 am

redwolf wrote:
KB_Texas wrote:Heheh...good one RW. Though forgive me, I skipped trying to read it, but I see what you did there.

KB

semperfiguy wrote:
That was ingenious Redwolf! I'd like to have some of whatever it is that you're poppin'...for real!
thx gents, am running fuLL bore t0night on double helping of chicken flavor mama soup minus one red pepper packet and about 6 Fox's biscuits from C.C. + 1 fanta grape on ice -thus maybe I triggered a reaction between the fanta & sugary british biscuits & thai-made MSG from the soup?

we gotta keep the story going till the OP gets back from wherever back water village he must be stuck in as he's got some 'splaining to do.

I like your version better Redwolf. Can you just keep going? I can see a novel here ...

Post by **Khun Paul** » January 5, 2013, 6:08 am

Agree, the OP does have some explaining as to what occurred next, however i do think that after posting the initial post he thought, what a complete dork I look, so I'll shut up and disappear quietly.

Post by **jai yen yen** » January 5, 2013, 8:05 am

The story probably continued with something about an ailing buffalo, broken down scooter and a very old sick grandmother.

Post by **pienmash** » January 5, 2013, 8:18 am

IMO ,, the OP has already got his point across ,,, no more info required . Hope he gets things sorted out .

"Beware of coffee shops" ,,,,,,,but you could also tag onto this banks , schools, shops , hospitals , etcetc as i would hazard a guess this could and has happened in all of them at some stage .

mash

Post by **jai yen yen** » January 5, 2013, 8:24 am

KB_Texas wrote:
jai yen yen wrote: Correction, you should have wrote, I have enrolled in an intensive spelling course, not on an intensive spelling course.
Correction: he should have written, "I have enrolled in an intensive spelling course", not "...on an intensive spelling course".

Sorry, sorry, sorry...I could not resist.

KB

Post by **trubrit** » January 5, 2013, 9:58 am

Well I found the original post quite interesting and was bitterly disappointed at the cliff hanger ending. However I must admit that until others picked up on the lack of punctuation I wasn't aware of it .I found my natural reading ability had over looked it's absence. I therefore question the ability of those who said they couldn't understand it, as much as that of the OP who wrote it .After all it would seem for the most part those criticizing were native English speakers, whereas we are not aware of his.I would suggest if they found this difficult to comprehend they should abandon any attempt to learn Thai, either written or orally, as there is a total lack of prosody as a caesura in any form .

Post by **rick** » January 5, 2013, 4:31 pm

5 years ago i would have struggled to read it, but after 5 years of reading udonmap I also was able to read it without to much difficulty. Udonmap - the how to read English learning experience.

Post by **tamada** » January 5, 2013, 6:28 pm

pienmash wrote:IMO ,, the OP has already got his point across ,,, no more info required . Hope he gets things sorted out .

"Beware of coffee shops" ,,,,,,,but you could also tag onto this banks , schools, shops , hospitals , etcetc as i would hazard a guess this could and has happened in all of them at some stage .

mash

I see what u mean 'mash. In light of the obvious threat to Udon's finest, married or otherwise spoken for farang gentry, including my own recent experiences with regular nice ladies that work in the likes of HomePro, Ngee Soon and the opticians outside Tesco Nadee that requires me to now carry the proverbial ------ stick, how is going with the importation of "burkha's for blokes"?

Post by **pienmash** » January 5, 2013, 6:50 pm

Must have been hell for you Tam ,,, being accosted by all these beauties .... blokes burkhas may be a good seller for next crimbo ,,, im on the case .

Post by **vlad** » January 5, 2013, 9:03 pm

Lost me how does Burkah's for blokes got to do with a tart in a coffee shop.

Post by **Zidane** » January 6, 2013, 10:42 am

I think its to do with farangs not been recognised by the Thai women whose only interest in the bulge in your trousers is the size of your wallet !
Hows about this type of burkha ? It has no slits in the eyes to "stop the man from seeing all the wicked temptations around him"......true.
Maybe not so good for driving or trying to make a cash withdrawal at a bank counter but our wives would be in favour when we stroll down Soi Sampan or around Nutty Park !
Hope the o-p gets sorted anyway......

Post by **Barney** » January 6, 2013, 11:53 am

Best comment so far was the recent one by Rick. Kept a smile on the dial for a while.

Tamada,

The girls outside the opticians shop

that you beat off with the stick is that before or after they have had the glasses prescription filled.

Post by **gudtymchuk** » January 6, 2013, 12:52 pm

Barney wrote:Best comment so far was the recent one by Rick. Kept a smile on the dial for a while.

Tamada,

The girls outside the opticians shop that you beat off with the stick is that before or after they have had the glasses prescription filled.

Does the swarm of babes standing outside the slim down salons in the complex qualify?

Just the other day had one of those lovelies approach my little wifey and I where upon she proceeded to seductively

rub my slightly protruding belly all the while waving her brochure at me. Very lucky my better half was there to tug me away or else I might still be trying to negotiating my way into her

under garments...