A Good Thai Girl & Thai Culture, Really?

[khunjhai]

Alright before everyone here start to give your two baht worth, I have just about skimmed through all the internet forums and read all the articles on the Thai girls and their farang bfs, but we all do live in a make believe world, always thinking that my Thai girl will be different from those described! But I believe that whatever it was, it was ultimately still their own choice to part with the money, lets not push the blame on the thai lady conning the baht out of your pocket, so here i am trying to decide if I should trust my gut instincts or give it a little more time to understand my thai lady.

I met this Thai lady aged 35 who was a performing artist (singing and dancing) in a very well-known big nightclub in my country. Not the coyotes or bar girls type in Nana/Sukhumvitk. We exchanged numbers on the 1st time we met as she was a friend of my friend's Thai gf and we have been communicating daily via Line for a good 8 months. I have visited her in Thailand 3 times in this 8 months and herself 2 times in my country for holidays with her family. Myself, I am 40 and consider myself quite a looker with boyish young looks than my actual age (have been told I look more like 30) working as a director in an MNC.

There is a nagging concern here that whatever we have is based on a transactional basis, goods and services exchange rather than an actual relationship, so I should be going with my gut instincts? Basically, she did not ask money for her sick buffaloes or sister/brother being hospitalised but will ask for luxury brands or shopping and the likes, in return, she really took care of me, washing, cooking, taking care of my needs as I am unable to speak a word of Thai. No sex yet as she gave me a long lecture into our 3rd month of courtship how she is a prim and proper lady and will not just sleep with someone she met and went on to say how her ex bf courted her for 9 months before they have sex and that she finally regarded him as a bf. It was because of this lecture that I actually respected her and court her like a lady. I have met all her family members except the matriach of the house. At times she will ask for money about 30K baht for her business that she is starting up or she will ask if I could help a little with her expenses for her orthondontic treatment which would cost about 50-60k baht over a period of 2 years.

She is a Bangkok native, Chinese-Thai, very good command of English through sheer hardwork and diligence to strike it out on her own in a foreign country to earn enough keeps to set up her own business back in Bangkok. Her family all seems well to do, middle class family. Is this how dating a Thai girl works? Taking care means buying gifts, shopping sprees and air tickets to holiday with her family etc? Right now we are still in the 'courting' stage and I have said no to some of her requests which she was OK and did not throw up any fuss at all and will always apologise for requesting the monies and such. However it did make me feel bad for not helping her out or rejecting her requests. I have been testing her out and will continue to do so for as long just to make sure that she is in it for having a partner for life not just the monies or luxury items.

It is my first time dating a Thai lady and has opened up a world of different cultures and just wondering if I should pursue on with this courtship, kind of getting impatient on the sex front (now I hope this does not make me like a sex fiend). She have stopped working the night life as she have done so for the past 7 years and have saved enough money to set up her own business(es). Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
HM

[Marcosteffano]

In my experience they all come from the same mould...chock dee Krup (good luck)

[maaka]

disagree with last comment...they not all from the same mould..

I was scammed in the early days, because I was gullible, and trusted in the wrong people..indeed, """was dangled like bait on a hook, and I took line,sink, and hook, and crashed and burned...so approached it the total opposite way.. no """ until I was sure...my mussus has never used the ' take care me ' line, never asked for a cent, but has hinted at things, which I took the wrong way until I actually sat down and thought about it..turned out what she said was smart, and I felt a fool for not trusting her...

bottom line, she takes care of me as if I was a individual, and I reward her kindness and caring...sometimes I think I am being used, because you hear all the things other guys say, but I am not.. I have the most amazing partner I could ever wish for, and I wished for her too I might add..its a shame it took so long to find her..

I cant tell you if your gut feelings are right, or if your GF is the one for you....I like the slow careful approach.
you have your whole life ahead of you, so whats the rush....play it safe, enjoy time with her and family, spend what you would with any woman you fell in love with, thai or russian...

I am a cagey bastard at the best of times, lived my whole life alone, got burned years ago so gave up until I was 50yrs old and lonely, and not wanting to go the rest alone....I had to take the plunge, hell we built a house before we even had a relationship, thats how cagey I was...I am still spending money, but I get pleasure out of it, to hear her say thank you for building me a house, I never think I have one in my life, and the boy say, thank you papa for buy me land, so can be rice farmer when older....I am old enough to know that life is an ever changing pattern of things, and money comes and goes, its how you enjoy it that matters....good luck

[747man]

In my experience they all come from the same mould...chock dee Krup (good luck)

You've Got that very WRONG,Obviously You're looking in the WRONG Places...

[Balthasar G.]

Remember, whatever you do and however it turns out, DO NOT join The Thai Flying Club!
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2257998/d ... -railings/

[Marcosteffano]

In my experience they all come from the same mould...chock dee Krup (good luck)

You've Got that very WRONG,Obviously You're looking in the WRONG Places...

Im not looking anywhere thanks.im a very un happily married man.wouldnt want it any other way as it would cost a lot more.i must of had some real bad luck picking over a 100 Thai women that came from the same mould.

[Marcosteffano]

I had one lady who could cook,clean and look after me with one hand....while the other hand was going through my wallet n safe and she was out of the same mould.

[ting_tong]

Oh good, another troll at work! nice job!

[Marcosteffano]

I met my wife at a charity fund raising gala,she had just finished working voluntarily helping under privileged kids and was a librarian who done nursing on her days off...not really I met her in a BJ bar in bkk and like I've said I'm a happily un happily married man now

[Marcosteffano]

Come to think of it she might not be out of the same mould as she's got a bit of Chinese in her and if she comes from up north that'll be most nights.

[vincemunday]

They're definitely not all from the same mould, I've been with missus for 11 years and been very happily married for 10 years on the 9th December. Back in the UK we worked together and on balance, I would say she was the harder worker and since we moved back here a year ago she has opened her restaurant and I sit on my fat English arse. However, lets have bit of a reality check here, some of these girls are pretty little things who give up a large chunk of their lives to look after a reinvented know nothing from nowhere who suddenly thinks he's Richard Gere because a little girl comes and sits on his lap and tells him he's a handsome man, how can a 70 year old honestly think he's attractive to a 26 year old? Girls are the same the world over and will be attracted to men roughly their own age and you most likely aren't a handsome man and my guess is that even if you work out regularly your body isn't quite what it was 30 years ago. So, they are most likely putting up with you and your aged looks and body to support their lifestyle and more likely to look after their family, this might be unpalatable in our culture but that's the way things are here. By the by, this isn't rocket science IF YOU MEET A GIRL IN A BAR YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED SHE IS A BAR GIRL! Bargirls in the main are money making machines and you are most likely just another punter, get over it.

[747man]

They're definitely not all from the same mould, I've been with missus for 11 years and been very happily married for 10 years on the 9th December. Back in the UK we worked together and on balance, I would say she was the harder worker and since we moved back here a year ago she has opened her restaurant and I sit on my fat English arse. However, lets have bit of a reality check here, some of these girls are pretty little things who give up a large chunk of their lives to look after a reinvented know nothing from nowhere who suddenly thinks he's Richard Gere because a little girl comes and sits on his lap and tells him he's a handsome man, how can a 70 year old honestly think he's attractive to a 26 year old? Girls are the same the world over and will be attracted to men roughly their own age and you most likely aren't a handsome man and my guess is that even if you work out regularly your body isn't quite what it was 30 years ago. So, they are most likely putting up with you and your aged looks and body to support their lifestyle and more likely to look after their family, this might be unpalatable in our culture but that's the way things are here. By the by, this isn't rocket science IF YOU MEET A GIRL IN A BAR YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED SHE IS A BAR GIRL! Bargirls in the main are money making machines and you are most likely just another punter, get over it.

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

[747man]

We Will celebrate our 24th Anniversary on February 3rd 2017.....Think I Found one from a different Mould....

[Liam Dale]

Yup.. all that Vince wrote. About these older self deluded. Pretty much my pet hate in Thailand. "Ive met my soulmate" said a 67 year old about 26 year old girl he was going to marry. My face wont ever be straight again. This month a 58 year client of mine married a 24 year old, citing he didnt want a clever girl and was happy to offer support to a Thai family. The phrases "child bride" and "What do you think she is feeling looking up at your screwed up old face slobbering over her". Surprisingly neither are clients now! (tis only money).

As for the original poster.. the fact that you think its a good idea to post publicly your thoughts and enquiries about your "friend".. says it all before you even start. But.. that said.. playing hide the tummy banana is supposed to be a mutually interesting sport.. dont you think a woman who used to be a "performing artist" hasn't indulged in a bit of beef bayonet burying.. and that maybe you are an access for loot with a well even artistically skilled performance with just that touch of "not that sort of girl" to lend a bit of high brow. Throw some dignified make you feel guilty into the pot = recipe for teeth payments without having to touch Mr Wobbly. Just sayin'. Tis merely a forum.

[Marcosteffano]

It's a pity they never come with mileometers on them.i think my little angel has been round the clock a few times.shes like a tonka truck and well oiled.

[Liam Dale]

It's a pity they never come with mileometers on them.i think my little angel has been round the clock a few times.shes like a tonka truck and well oiled.

MILE ometers? doubt if can run up a yard's worth of extra mileage after 5 years of blissful happy marriage..

[Marcosteffano]

Yup.. all that Vince wrote. About these older self deluded. Pretty much my pet hate in Thailand. "Ive met my soulmate" said a 67 year old about 26 year old girl he was going to marry. My face wont ever be straight again. This month a 58 year client of mine married a 24 year old, citing he didnt want a clever girl and was happy to offer support to a Thai family. The phrases "child bride" and "What do you think she is feeling looking up at your screwed up old face slobbering over her". Surprisingly neither are clients now! (tis only money).

As for the original poster.. the fact that you think its a good idea to post publicly your thoughts and enquiries about your "friend".. says it all before you even start. But.. that said.. playing hide the tummy banana is supposed to be a mutually interesting sport.. dont you think a woman who used to be a "performing artist" hasn't indulged in a bit of beef bayonet burying.. and that maybe you are an access for loot with a well even artistically skilled performance with just that touch of "not that sort of girl" to lend a bit of high brow. Throw some dignified make you feel guilty into the pot = recipe for teeth payments without having to touch Mr Wobbly. Just sayin'. Tis merely a forum.

Yes the men who are usually happy with their partners are the fat,older,teeth missing ones who get the best deal with their child brides.and before anyone hammers their keys,I do believe there are genuine relationships in the land of smiles.in fact most of the farang where I live have healthy relationships.

[maaka]

ohhhh Ting Tong dont spoil da fun...

one of the ugly sisters built up from us...married twice, one divorce, one died.(lost a son also) . she has two shell shocked kids, no councselling...out of the blue last week the missus said she had a boyfriend, and within what seemed like days they were married...I asked sister if she was happy, no, ohhh maybe you scared something might happen to him, like last husband ( shes like that, spiritual) , no, feel just normal.ohhhhhhh..it was all abit of a gossip really...married at home, and he moved in..I was perplexed so I asked the missus...she no love him, it about the money, 30,000bt sinsod, and she want man to work around her land...ohhhhh..will it last, ask me one year from now,hehehehe..... ohhhhh...

that is the history of this culture..seldom have I seen love come into it..

[stattointhailand]

ohhhh Ting Tong dont spoil da fun...

one of the ugly sisters built up from us...married twice, one divorce, one died.(lost a son also) . she has two shell shocked kids, no councselling...out of the blue last week the missus said she had a boyfriend, and within what seemed like days they were married...I asked sister if she was happy, no, ohhh maybe you scared something might happen to him, like last husband ( shes like that, spiritual) , no, feel just normal.ohhhhhhh..it was all abit of a gossip really...married at home, and he moved in..I was perplexed so I asked the missus...she no love him, it about the money, 30,000bt sinsod, and she want man to work around her land...ohhhhh..will it last, ask me one year from now,hehehehe..... ohhhhh...

that is the history of this culture..seldom have I seen love come into it..

know of at least 3 others with the same (almost) scenario maaka ......... all Thai/Thai relationships where she is widowed or divorced with money/house/land and Thai lad many years younger arrives on scene and marries her to "do around the house/farm etc" ......... It's that "Real Thai Culture" thing that all the farangs go on about

[dezzer111]

We have good and bad women in all walks of life,if one prefers to look at the Thai scene for the opposite sex you can be sure there will be good and bad as is the case worldwide,only your judgment will tell don't listen to tales of woe, if you you feel sure you have found what your looking for why not go for it what have you got to lose ,money a house maybe, pride only you can tell :-" this is agony uncle Dez signing off. P. S .just make sure she dose not support Everton.