Female Advice: New Thai Girlfriend/Money

Post by **fatbob** » July 12, 2012, 6:24 pm

Aardvark wrote:If you still have any concerns I suggest in a few years time you ask the Girl if she is happy with the gift of life, with or without a Father !!

Sorry the time for breeding isn't at 70 years of age. The gift of life is a responsibility, to raise, to teach right from wrong, to give the child a chance as an adult with a sound upbringing, bit hard to do when your six foot under.

Post by **Aardvark** » July 12, 2012, 6:39 pm

coxo wrote:
Aardvark wrote:If you still have any concerns I suggest in a few years time you ask the Girl if she is happy with the gift of life, with or without a Father !!
Sorry the time for breeding isn't at 70 years of age. The gift of life is a responsibility, to raise, to teach right from wrong, to give the child a chance as an adult with a sound upbringing, bit hard to do when your six foot under.

So you prefer she was never born at all, maybe the next Einstein of this century

Every life is special, get over it

Post by **fatbob** » July 12, 2012, 7:14 pm

Some people look for arguments regardless, if you believe the age for breeding is seventy then good luck to you, I don't, I believe in family planing and contraception, do you have children of your own?

Post by **jackspratt** » July 12, 2012, 7:37 pm

jimboLV wrote: I am 72 years old, my wife is 36,and we have a two and a half year old daughter. We did not "get into that situation". We thought long and hard about it, even consulted a fertility clinic, tested for her exact date of ovulation, etc. When I finally kick the bucket my daughter will be well fixed as she receives a US Social Security check each month until she is 18, so she now has more income than the teachers at her school. And the wife will likely go back to work as she did before she married this old geezer. In fact she's now talking about opening a shop now that the little one is in school. That, and a closely knit family structure, doesn't make me worry one bit about my daughter's future.

It would seem that Mr & Mrs jimbo, both being adults, and jimbo (at least, based on his posts here) being of sound mind, have made a careful and considered decision to have a child. Well done to them. =D>

Whatever anyone else here thinks is really of no consequence - besides being totally off-topic.

Post by **fatbob** » July 12, 2012, 7:54 pm

jackspratt wrote:Whatever anyone else here thinks is really of no consequence - besides being totally off-topic.

Forums are for the discussion of different ideas and opinions, this forum with its obvious boys club or should I say old man's club,I'm not so sure. The best and most interesting discussions develop and move along and remain interesting, or you can have ten pages of the same sh-t.

Post by **merchant seaman** » July 12, 2012, 8:17 pm

Back on Topic, give your new girl friend all the money you can afford. no sense dragging it out

Post by **Sergio** » July 20, 2012, 8:52 pm

[quote="
1. Are you going to delete your profile on the dating website? If you love me, you don't need it anymore. It's easy. Step 1,2... (she claimed she wasn't able to delete it from her computer: weak, I know).
[/quote]

Social Networking , it can be your very best friend at beginning ,but later on it could be seen as the worst enemy .

Im with you also about why is needed now ?

Post by **pm2195** » July 25, 2012, 2:24 pm

I think it is the greed of these ladies and their families that leads to this type of money hungry and deceitful behaviour. It is understandable that most of them are seeking financial security from a farang but if they don't get what they think is enough money from one, they will try it on with others at the same time. Canadian Guy was lucky she went hard seeking money so early in the relationship and ended up only spending small sums before he discovered her true motives.

I met a girl in Phuket from Udon Thani area a few years ago and had a relationship for nearly 2 years. I visited her many times in that period and at first everything was ok and she only asked for quite reasonable sums. It was only much later after she had me hooked that her demands for money escalated dramatically. She made it sound her requests for money were for our future together to build a house and buy a car. I ended up sending her over 2 million baht before calling the whole thing off. She told me stories of how her relatives took all the money I already sent and if I loved her I should send her another million and more. At that stage I had to accept that all of it was for nothing and cut my losses. Her demeanour and attitude also changed from the early stages from sweet and funloving to arrogant and selfish. She often reminded me when I was hesitant to meet her financial demands that she could easily find another farang to to 'take care' of her. I was happy with her in the early months but I regret not cutting my losses on her earlier. I am still now trying to make up for the lost savings I gave her but I was never silly enough for it to seriously damage my finances.

Post by **Aardvark** » July 25, 2012, 5:00 pm

Brilliant post pm2195 and welcome to the Forum. I hope you have learned from your mistake and don't have any hard feelings. There are many good Ladies out there. it's your job to find one

Post by **mathusalah80** » July 26, 2012, 3:51 pm

by Aardvark » July 25, 2012, 5:00 pm

Brilliant post pm2195

I agree with Aardvark, pm2195, your post is far better than some recent efforts! =D>
With all those years of experience in Thailand, enabling you to pass on meaningful advice, it is a shame you chose to remain silent for so long.

Hopefully you have spent the time usefully saving up another million baht or so, with the charitable aiming of, once again, giving the Thai economy a boost?

I am sure Sergio, coincidentally another very new member, ( whose story is possibly familar to you?), will be encouraged by your post to continue to share his experiences with us.

Post by **pm2195** » July 28, 2012, 1:01 pm

Thanks Aardvark and mathusalah80.

I am not planning on giving the Isan economy another boost anytime soon! I only discovered Udonmap and other sites like Thai Visa, Stickman etc recently so I know my own story is similar to many others. I am just saying the greed and scamming can come from the pressure of their families. Every time I visited my girlfriend's home village near Nong Khai they all asked for handouts from her, when they saw she brought a farang with her. We would end up going for shopping expeditions for groceries and eating out for the entire family, all at my own expense of course. It was very hard for my girlfriend to resist all this pressure. I can understand this to a point, as they were all clearly living in poverty but you have to limit your own generosity to what you can afford to lose. Don't sell off your home, or give away all your savings and certainly don't go into debt for the sake of keeping her happy. If your relationship heads south you will be left with nothing and no hope of getting any of it back. If you are already retired you will be left in dire poverty. At one stage my girlfriend urged me to sell my own home in Australia to help buy us a house in her village. Of course I didn't follow her advice. Her increasing greed and the fact that her behaviour was becoming more erratic and a bit psycho made me decide enough was enough. I know many people think farangs are stupid for sticking with the same girl giving them problems, when there are many others out there. After you spend quite a bit of time developing the relationship and have hopes for your future and invested financially in a house etc you can be reluctant to face reality. But once you face facts, just make the hard decision to move on, forget about her and learn your lessons.

Post by **BigBubba** » July 28, 2012, 4:30 pm

pm2195 wrote:I am just saying the greed and scamming can come from the pressure of their families. Every time I visited my girlfriend's home village near Nong Khai they all asked for handouts from her, when they saw she brought a farang with her. We would end up going for shopping expeditions for groceries and eating out for the entire family, all at my own expense of course. It was very hard for my girlfriend to resist all this pressure.

So very true. It runs very deep in their culture and is beat (not literally) into their heads from the time they are youngsters. It also just happens to be completely opposite of our culture. We are brought up learning you must EARN what you get. How many people do you know that would rather DIE than ask for a handout?

To them every falang is rich, even those on a meager pension. If a family member happens to have the good fortune of snagging a farang they, the extended family, believe they are entitled to share in the wealth. The Thai expression is มีน้ามไจ, (mee naam jai) to be generous or kind hearted.

This concept is probably the most overlooked (or unknown) issue of a new relationship between a westerner and a Thai. It's caused a fair amout of arguments in my own relationship, but I have always put my foot down if I feel the request is unreasonable. Hopefully discussions such as this will help some of the newcomers to these situations. However, when dealing with affairs of the heart it is sometimes difficult to make the wise decision.

Bubba

Post by **kjellsnell** » July 28, 2012, 5:21 pm

I have been married to my women for all most 6 years and here family have never ask me for money! Maybe cause i am married in to a family whit good manners....this an issue about bad manners from uneducated people, not about an accepted thing in Thai culture. For example, i have many Thai friends in Phetchaburi, they always invite us for dinner when i come for visit and they are proud to pay the bill and if i should insist to pay the bill they should probably feel that they lose face! I have Thai friends taking care of my propertys in Cha Am and Hua Hin and they dont like to have many from me for there friendly service instead they say...you can invite us for dinner when you come down here ore help me when i need help........ On the beginning that was hard to understand after my first 2-3 years here when i was hanging around bars in the Phuket area and where i share the same bad experiences like many other farrangs in Thailand like mama/papa sick...need money for hospital bla bla bla....thats a bargirl thing!

Post by **KamalaFarang** » July 31, 2012, 11:36 am

I love "she's different" stories. This has been an interesting thread, only coming off the rails a few times. Especially entertaining when the two guys stumble into each other. The old hands jumped on the OP immediately smelling a rat. The old Mama has cancer trick.

I think it was the guy married to the girl who wrote:
"If you have even a sliver of doubt, I'd advise hiring a detective to keep an eye on her for a week while you are away. Sad that it might be necessary, but definitely better than not knowing the truth."

The doubt is what protects you from getting eaten by the croks in the river. If you have doubt, it's real. (Granted, you may just be paranoid and you know what they say about paranoia...just cause your paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't following you.) Don't bother with a detective...walk away.

Here are my walk away rules:
If she doesn’t make you feel good…walk away.
If the relationship isn’t working, don’t try and work it out…walk away
If she has a number of problems…walk away
If she has problems that can only be solved by money…walk away
If she has a sudden emergency and needs money…walk away
If she needs money for a business…walk away
If she threatens you…walk away
If she threatens herself…walk away
If you catch her in a lie…walk away
If it doesn’t feel right, don’t second guess your instincts…walk away
(I’ll throw in one more here)
If she may be a ladyboy, then she is…walk away

Post by **cute girl 555+** » July 31, 2012, 8:04 pm

I hate to read about any stuffs that FARANG blame Thai women! but I just read this topic because I want to know what you FARANG talk about! Some of you FARANG blame or complain about many things which are not good in your point of view. But this is Thailand! What I mean is why you don't live in your country !!! just want to get benefit from Thailand! It's just low cost of living maybe...

Post by **grievous** » July 31, 2012, 9:15 pm

Wow say it like it is cute girl. Stop complaining if you don't like it go back to where you come from, I like the bluntness.

Post by **cute girl 555+** » July 31, 2012, 9:31 pm

Just Farang...
So what?
Mostly just old blokes living in Udon lol...

Post by **magpie73** » August 1, 2012, 1:53 am

so cute girl 555+ do you think it's right to con people out of there life-saveings so of those FARANG'S you are basically saying it's your fault for trying to make someone's life better which is what most of these FARANG were trying to do so for you to say this is thailand for me is a cop-out kamalafarang is spot on

Post by **jai yen yen** » August 1, 2012, 11:03 am

cute girl 555+ wrote:I hate to read about any stuffs that FARANG blame Thai women! but I just read this topic because I want to know what you FARANG talk about! Some of you FARANG blame or complain about many things which are not good in your point of view. But this is Thailand! What I mean is why you don't live in your country !!! just want to get benefit from Thailand! It's just low cost of living maybe...

You are right, it is mostly the low cost of living in Thailand and the thought that maybe some can find a lady to be with that keeps farang in Thailand. The west is a much better place in many ways, safer, cleaner, better standard of living, safer roads, better education, beautiful scenery and we do not have the scams and games that Thailand is plagued with. But it is expensive and older men have a hard time to meet ladies. If you have a lot of money and are younger you can live much better in the west than Thailand which in reality is still a corrupt third world country.

Post by **Frankie 1** » August 1, 2012, 12:29 pm

jai yen yen wrote: ...and we do not have the scams and games that Thailand is plagued with. But it is expensive and older men have a hard time to meet ladies. If you have a lot of money and are younger you can live much better in the west than Thailand which in reality is still a corrupt third world country.

No scams and games in Farang countries? Who are you kidding. The whole western economy, especially the Euro, is at risk because of scams and games. Corruption was probably invented in Greece or Italy. Do you know how many tourists are scammed in western countries? It seems like a lot of Farang who live in Thailand over-idolise their own cultures and always seem to complain about the country they chose to live in. How many Farang lost huge amounts of money to their ex-wifes in their home country?

It's also good to look at who got scammed. Maybe they were too careless or naieve. Was it the fact that they married too soon and spent too much money on a person they didn't really know well enough? They lock their car and their house, but they hand over their wallets and life savings to any pretty girl that smiles at them.

And "players" (men and women), or "sharks", are of any culture and any time, anywhere.