You really cant tell can you? (Wife leaves me)

Post by **maikauzai** » August 30, 2011, 10:46 am

Me love you long time -> short time

Post by **wayne747** » August 30, 2011, 8:31 pm

BenZona, best of luck to you.
Quite a nightmare you have on your hands.
I cant offer any advice except moral support - and agree what maaka says about getting in touch with a "single father" interest organization is the smart move. Just looking at the replies show it is not uncommon, and they will know what to do.
Best of luck.

Post by **Banjo** » August 30, 2011, 10:37 pm

The Family Law Court in Australia is currently fragmenting at the seams with, often, feuding parents who fail to understand the needs and welfare of young children. Unfortunately, oblivious children become involved in a tug of war between mother and father. Acrimonious separation and divorce is no doubt nasty and generally costly. The judiciary are endeavouring to alleviate this problem and resolve matters in a more timely, civilised and less costly manner. To expedite the matter I strongly suggest that you seek the services of professionals in a Mediation and Dispute Resolution Centre. Agreement and peace of mind through mediated discussion can be achieved without the grief and consternation that generally encompasses a Court Session.

As you are in Queensland, this website will be of benefit - http://www.justice.qld.gov.au/justice-s ... resolution and I encourage you to make contact soon. Instigating this action will be viewed favorably through the Justice System.

Resolution through mediation can quickly and easily be transcribed into, as in this matter, Family Law Orders if and when the need arises.

Best wishes for a mutually acceptable outcome and the future good health and welfare of your son, his mother and yourself.

Post by **chigger** » August 30, 2011, 11:24 pm

BenZona wrote:I almost expected people to come in and say this was not common.. obviously i was wrong, If you add this to Arsenals humiliating, well i darent call it a game, yesterday. Im not very bloody happy at all

Hey BenZona, were you by chance posting as Goonersh before?

Post by **maaka** » August 31, 2011, 3:44 am

just a note..
because your child, and perhaps your wife have dual citizenship, you need to move smartly, even get a judge out of bed and obtain a Non Removal Order, or the Australian equvilent, to stop her taking the child out of the country..I know you have a airport list watch thingy, but you really do need a legal document such as a Non Removal Order...the mere fact of just having a Non Removal Order may not stop your child from leaving the country, you would need to serve a copy on the Thailand Embassy in Australia, so that they cannot issue a Thai visa to your wife and child, (she may use her maiden name) until the matter of custody etc has been ascertained by a Aussie Court..

there are Emergency provisions for an immediate court hearing, if you fear your wife may try to leave the country, taking your child..

I suggest you also study up on Dual Citizenship and rights, and relevant laws of both Thailand and Australia..there was a thread here once under Dual Citizenship..I am not sure it is recognised in Thailand...anyway get onto the Non Removal order pronto, and serve a copy to the thai embassy

Post by **maaka** » August 31, 2011, 3:47 am

PS
also regarding mediation, which in alot of cases can work well for both parties, and save a hell of alot of money, but just note that mediation is not legally binding unless you ask it to be..

Post by **pompui** » August 31, 2011, 3:56 am

Just wanted to post to give you some moral support also,seems a lot of good advice given by forumites to help you with this crazy situation.

Post by **BenZona** » August 31, 2011, 9:13 am

maaka wrote:just a note..
because your child, and perhaps your wife have dual citizenship, you need to move smartly, even get a judge out of bed and obtain a Non Removal Order, or the Australian equvilent, to stop her taking the child out of the country..I know you have a airport list watch thingy, but you really do need a legal document such as a Non Removal Order...the mere fact of just having a Non Removal Order may not stop your child from leaving the country, you would need to serve a copy on the Thailand Embassy in Australia, so that they cannot issue a Thai visa to your wife and child, (she may use her maiden name) until the matter of custody etc has been ascertained by a Aussie Court..

there are Emergency provisions for an immediate court hearing, if you fear your wife may try to leave the country, taking your child..

Done both of them, within four hours of me finding out she had gone, earliest court date is 10th October and they cant leave the country under ANY combinations of surnames

pompui wrote:Just wanted to post to give you some moral support also,seems a lot of good advice given by forumites to help you with this crazy situation.

Thanks matey

I told Peter over the phone on Monday, he is as unbelieving as myself, considering all the help he gave us/her, Both he and Frank told me to dump her... and they were right.

To everyone else, thanks again for the advice and words. all i can do now is sit and wait to see what her next move is. She has made a bit of a boo boo in trying to get this domestic violence order out against me, The onus is on her to contact me. Its very frustrating

I do know that, when it comes to court, keeping my son away from me without a HUGE reason, especially as its fathers day this weekend, is not going to be a good look.

I also know that, whatever happens, she will never ever get back with me again, its over, for good.

Post by **Astana** » August 31, 2011, 10:11 am

I know it might be rehashing some of the actions that you have already taken but it would do no harm through your advocate to get supporting evidence from hospitals, family doctor etc. that records her visits for whatever reason to provide weight that you were not violent towards her, by refuting these allegations through recorded facts may well leave mental trauma as the only possible way she can attack you.

Your advocate could then ask for a psychological evaluation based on her fitness to look after your child taking into account that no record of physical attack has been recorded, by being proactive in doing this may well help to uncover her real sentiments and damage her credibility to the degree that her supporters see her in a different light and isolate her leaving the family court in no doubt that in fact you are the victim and not her.

I spoke to my wife about this after reading the thread and her comment after listening to what I had to say was very simple... Either something did happen to make her take flight or someone in her family or more locally is behind this, she thought the latter as I explained to her why would the man post about this on an open forum if he had something to hide?

I wish you the best in being granted custody of your child.

Post by **BenZona** » August 31, 2011, 10:49 am

Astana wrote:I know it might be rehashing some of the actions that you have already taken but it would do no harm through your advocate to get supporting evidence from hospitals, family doctor etc. that records her visits for whatever reason to provide weight that you were not violent towards her, by refuting these allegations through recorded facts may well leave mental trauma as the only possible way she can attack you.

Your advocate could then ask for a psychological evaluation based on her fitness to look after your child taking into account that no record of physical attack has been recorded, by being proactive in doing this may well help to uncover her real sentiments and damage her credibility to the degree that her supporters see her in a different light and isolate her leaving the family court in no doubt that in fact you are the victim and not her.

I spoke to my wife about this after reading the thread and her comment after listening to what I had to say was very simple... Either something did happen to make her take flight or someone in her family or more locally is behind this, she thought the latter as I explained to her why would the man post about this on an open forum if he had something to hide?

I wish you the best in being granted custody of your child.

I have nothing to hide at all. She has been the violent one throughout our relationship, She once attacked me in the street outside Mr Tongs, She forced me and my daughter to leave the village under threat of having us killed, at 11pm at night. She has smashed me about on at least five other occasions, The worst i have ever done to her was to hit her with a wad of papers, to get her to stop hitting me, outside bamboo gardens a couple of months ago

The videos of her that i have, from one of the incident nights show her, not scared at all but in fact shouting at me with the baby in her arms, in this video she admits she has hit me, that i dont hit her, and that she said she was going to get us killed. She also admits (didnt notice when it was happening) that "she is going to talk to a woman and maybe she will not live with me"

Along with my neighbours and a friend or two im hoping that will be enough to knock her claim over. If its not, then there is no justice in Australia

I will raise all the points about how fit she is, when the time is right, right now i will do a lot better to see what she does next, legally. I have a good Arsenal up my sleeve. I have already got shared custody of my daughter, a 12 year old girl, i have a base, friends, a command of English and prospects for the future.

She has state benefits, no driving license, a bunch of dyke helpers and no chance of working here for a VERY long time.

Im hoping the court sees that our sons needs are best catered for here, in the family home. What more can i do? I cant go off stalking her, or even contacting her. The ball is firmly in her court, and if it is return served to me with a load of bollox made up by some dyke who is coaching her, all the better

thanks

Post by **Astana** » August 31, 2011, 10:58 am

I think she might well be in for a bit of shock!

Good luck to you

Post by **rufus** » August 31, 2011, 5:29 pm

I agree, good luck. Terrible story.

Post by **jackspratt** » August 31, 2011, 8:35 pm

rufus wrote:I agree, good luck. Terrible story.

It seems to me that we have heard 50% of the story.

Good luck to Ben, based on what he has told us.

If I was about to go through a difficult Family Law case in Australia, I would be very careful about what I wrote on a public forum.

I would also be careful about what I did with uninformed, albeit heartfelt advice I similarly received.

Post by **Frankie 1** » August 31, 2011, 11:18 pm

BenZona wrote:She once attacked me in the street outside Mr Tongs, She forced me and my daughter to leave the village under threat of having us killed, at 11pm at night.

BenZona wrote:You really cant tell can you?

I wonder about the social level of both of you. Where did you meet her?

Post by **BenZona** » September 1, 2011, 5:11 am

jackspratt wrote: If I was about to go through a difficult Family Law case in Australia, I would be very careful about what I wrote on a public forum.

I would also be careful about what I did with uninformed, albeit heartfelt advice I similarly received.

1: As long as i dont name people its not illegal
2: I have taken everyones words on board, but of course the final say on where to go is mine, and any lawyer i decide to use
Like i said before Mr Jack, plenty of witnesses to bak up what im saying, both here and in Udon
thanks

Frankie 1 wrote: I wonder about the social level of both of you. Where did you meet her?

Not a bar girl, met via a friend of mine in Thaland (european friend)

Post by **fatbob** » September 1, 2011, 7:01 am

What the f--k, 'not a bar girl' now I think you are a total dick with that statement, my missus was, she is great and after 8 years I have had no ---- from her at all, you just lost me Ben Zoa!

Post by **BenZona** » September 1, 2011, 7:21 am

coxo wrote:What the f--k, 'not a bar girl' now I think you are a total dick with that statement, my missus was, she is great and after 8 years I have had no **** from her at all, you just lost me Ben Zoa!

its Zona

Anyway, i was not making any kind of judgement on any bar girls, non bar girls or anything like that. I was asked where we met, I made the point that we met via a friend and not in a girlie bar
that is all Honestly mate, i have not seen my son for over a week, my wife has turned out to be a scammer and i allowed it all to happen, my "loss" of you is about 20 millionth on the scale of things that matter.
sorry to have offended you

Post by **Jello** » September 1, 2011, 12:37 pm

Have you found a Lawyer yet? Don't put it off, get one NOW and make sure they are familiar
with family law and this type of case. Don't be concerned about the cost, get a loan if you
need to, this will cost you a lot more money in the long run if your not proactive now.

Something you need to understand is once you get sucked into the family court legal system
things could go wrong and then someone else is going to be making decisions about your life.

You may think that having the video and grandma next door is air tight, but your wife now has
help from professionals that know the in's and outs of the system (both family court and
immigration)and will be determined to make you out to be the bad guy even if your not,
because it justifies there organizations existence and the government funding that they get!

Don't be fooled into thinking that the court system is always "fair".
You could find yourself standing before a judge that has some preconceived notions about men
who go to Thailand and bring back a young wife. The judge could decide to error on the side of
caution and uphold the restraining order based solely on the fact that she asked for one! (I've seen this happen).

If she gains custody of your son you will of course be paying child support. You may also be
required to pay alimony to your wife. Years ago I was looking into marriage with a foreign woman and
bringing her to the U.S.. The immigration paperwork included a document that said I would be financially
responsible for her even if we got divorced! I don't know if it's the same in Australia.

Bottom line, GET A GOOD LAWYER!
I truly hope for your sake I'm not right. Just be prepared for what CAN happen.
I wish you good luck Ben.

Post by **pompui** » September 1, 2011, 12:40 pm

BenZona wrote: Thanks matey I told Peter over the phone on Monday, he is as unbelieving as myself, considering all the help he gave us/her, Both he and Frank told me to dump her... and they were right.

Am seeing them tomorrow and no doubt a few of the Danish contingent will turn up as well.Keep us informed

Post by **Stevo** » September 1, 2011, 1:08 pm

coxo wrote:What the f--k, 'not a bar girl' now I think you are a total dick with that statement,

I agree with coxo... I have many friends who work in bars, both beer bars and 'girlie' bars. Salt of the earth IMHO, you have just as much chance of getting ripped off by a school teacher/government worker/bank clerk, etc. If you didn't smell the coffee way before this 'tragic' event happened, you only have yourself to blame.

good luck sorting it out.