A different view from a young and attractive Issan lady

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » August 22, 2008, 7:07 pm

On taking the bus from Nakhon Ratchasima to Udon on Tuesday, a Thai lady, 28-years old, got on at Khon Kaen and sat beside me on the way to Udon.

She works as an interpreter for American military personnel at Khon Kaen University. She, and her Thai co-workers, are really upset with many of the American men who work in her office. Take her boss, for instance. This man, who is 39, attractive and bright, brought his girlfriend to meet the staff. It turns out the girlfriend is a bar girl from Laos.

The lady who was speaking said she cannot understand why foreign men spend their time, and money, on uneducated and unsophisticated bar girls. She complained, 'what about me? I have an education, I have travelled, I can carry on a conversation about many topics. This is so frustrating that the men do not pay attention to women like me. Furthermore, do these farangs not know that they lose all respect and dignity when they have the office staff 'wai' bar girls'.

The Thai driver for the American 'boss' told her that the Lao girl calls him all of the time to ask, 'and what did my boyfriend say about his and that'. The lady I was speaking to is very attractive, and is fluent in English. She kept complaining that they are so many 'good' women who are available but the farang men in her company go to the bar girls. She asked, 'why do these bar girls get all of the chances, why can't nice, intelligent and sophisticated farang men take note of office workers and ask us out for lunch or dinner? Many of us nice girls are right in front of the men working with them every day, why do they avoid us'?

She is from Nong Khai, and was certain that the recent flooding was owing to the building of dams by China. In fact, she made a number of intelligent remarks about China and the danger of Thailand becoming a semi-colony of China in the future, about Thai politics and so on.

Our conversation was halted by our arrival in Udon. She disappeared from view almost as soon as I completed my transformation into an Udon ATM machine for my very good friend in this city.

It is nice to be back here, and to stay at the Karin Hotel.

By the way, I wanted to post this under relationships, but I am not sure how to post topics under different headings. The one above here says, General Topics on Udon Thani, and I have left it at that.

Post by **BobHelm** » August 22, 2008, 7:20 pm

Tilokarat interesting post. In her circumstances I too would be confused. The only thing that I can think of is that inter office relationships are frowned upon by the "powers that be" - as they often are by American companies. They can lead to favouritism & jealousy amongst co-workers when the relationship is going well & antagonism & claims of unfair treatment when they flounder.
By the way I have moved this to Relationships.
To open a topic in any particular forum section, Go to Community / Forum drop down menu from the front page. Click on the Forum Section you require & there "Post New Topic".....

Post by **WBU ALUM** » August 22, 2008, 7:46 pm

BobHelm wrote:inter office relationships are frowned upon by the "powers that be" - as they often are by American companies. They can lead to favouritism & jealousy amongst co-workers when the relationship is going well & antagonism & claims of unfair treatment when they flounder.

Correct, Bob. Huge no-no in the US. Some are fired over just the existence of the relationship itself.

Also, like the US and other places, the "good" girls are not out and about. They're usually taking care of things at home or whatever. It's the bar girls who are out and about most often.

That being said, I avoid the bar girls and go the extra mile in search of the "nice" girls.

Post by **cali4995** » August 22, 2008, 8:09 pm

All I hear the sophisticated Thai girl saying is "I'm jealous, I'm jealous,
I'm jealous". The way I read this any girl but her is a worthless bar-
girl of Burmese of Lao origin. If she's so brainy why didn't she approach
the guy if she was interested? At 28 and unmarried she's starting to
appear as a bitter old maid that neither Thai men nor farangs are
interested in solving all her psychological issues. I don't blame the guy
for wanting to keep his private business out of this office. How many
other strangers besides you, has she discussed his personal life with?

Poster's note: I'm just playing devil's advocate today, nobody take
offense. Personally I would have rather got up and changed my bus seat
than listen to this whiner complain about why she can't get a man.

Post by **Guns482** » August 22, 2008, 8:36 pm

Personally I would have rather got up and changed my bus seat
than listen to this whiner complain about why she can't get a man.

Well said, and in some instances, meeting the right man may never happen, as the so-called intelligent Thai ladies ofter view farang as no good only here for the pleasures of the flesh, well that's my experience anyway for what its worth.

Post by **cali4995** » August 22, 2008, 10:06 pm

Guns482, that's also pretty much identical to my experience. The self-labeled
"good girls" are often so impossible and difficult most men quickly shy away
from them. Years of pent-up resentment at not being treated as they think
"they should be" and not able to attract Thai men for the same reasons. Even
when a gentleman appears, they treat him like he's a manwho_re because he
comes from farangland where of course, we've no idea of culture or refinement.

Post by **Paul** » August 23, 2008, 12:58 am

Its all about the odds, isn't it

There are zillions of bar girls more than willing to be your friend - they look good and speak reasonable English - its easy to choose one

Not so easy to make a hit upon an office worker - where do you start?
Can she speak English, does she even like farangs?, is she single and available, would she be offended if I asked her out etc etc etc ...................

Thats why people go with bar girls (probably)

Post by **thrilled** » August 23, 2008, 1:22 am

I myself would love to meet an intelligent,smart,pretty woman from Thailand.But stated before me,these ladies make it A point to not go out of their way to meet farang men.I mean what is A man to do?He goes for the woman who is friendly towards him.

Post by **merchant seaman** » August 23, 2008, 6:18 am

Could this be Miss Udon Thani? Wonder why she is interested in meeting a Farang? Anyone have an idea? I have one.

Post by **mighty-chang** » August 23, 2008, 6:30 am

GRRRRR did you get her number the award night is drawing in fast

chok dee

THE MIGHTY CHANG

Post by **Zidane** » August 23, 2008, 9:15 am

I think if you come to Udon for the first time for a short holiday its almost inevitable that the Thai lady you meet will be a bar girl because of the places you go at night like Soi Sampan.
However if you are on a longer term visa, 90 days plus,it gives you a lot more time to weigh up the alternatives.
Just walk around the Charoensri complex,for instance.Plenty of good looking young ladies around in the shops or restaurants.
Provided you look and behave half decent I dont think you would have any problem meeting a nice girl in Udon.
I think the farang looking smart and behaving well is a big issue for the girl because many are put off by ageing, overweight, drunken slobs who really do think they are "hansum" men.

Zidane

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » August 23, 2008, 9:33 am

I think the answer in this case lies with the explanation that there is a barrier established between the farang worker and the Thai worker owing to established rules set by the company.

This lady was certainly not whingeing, she was frustrated to be sure, but she was discussing the issue in the normal Issan way with a lot of laughter and joking. I was intrigued by this woman and the fact she began the conversation, and was not going to move away from an interesting conversationalist.

On the other hand, I think some of you are correct that she would like a chance at the main opportunity too - financial security; however, she feels that owing to her education and professional qualifications, a farang man like her boss would be a suitable partner for her as she would be for him.

And, it is true that meeting an office worker is not going to be easy for farangs.

She is a very nice and charming lady. But she moved too quickly for me to get her phone number or address. Besides which she is not interested in older men such as me. Furthermore, I already act as an ATM for one lady and there is no need to complicate matters.

Anyway, it was a nice experience, and an unusual one too.

Are many of you attending the scout jamboree that is taking place this week (I do not know where)? I will be going tonight and have been told that it lasts until about midnight. I just want to know if it is of much interest. My friend's son is part of this scout experience.

Having dinner at the Mae Yaa restaurant was interesting the other night because as we were eating, there were three cockroaches actively interested in going in the fare. Other than pretending to eat them, my friend and her nephew ignored the insects.

Post by **mighty-chang** » August 23, 2008, 9:43 am

The best way go find a thai lady in udon to become your next turak go to tesco and buy lots of frozen meals for 1 while at the check out accidentally on purpose drop 100,000 bt on the counter along with your phone number and make polite guesture works every time for me

Today's mighty changs tip of the day

Post by **AussieBoy** » August 23, 2008, 9:47 am

It not what the girl has got between the ears, it how she uses what she's got between the legs

Post by **Paul** » August 23, 2008, 10:20 am

Zidane wrote: Just walk around the Charoensri complex,for instance.Plenty of good looking young ladies around in the shops or restaurants.
Provided you look and behave half decent I dont think you would have any problem meeting a nice girl in Udon.

..........because many are put off by ageing, overweight, drunken slobs who really do think they are "hansum" men.

Zidane

As a point of interest. I recently read in a magazine article in Udon, a plea from the management of the Charoensi Shopping Mall for a stop to all the farangs who keep going into there (especially Robinsons) thinking they are indeed velly hansum men, and pestering the girls (disguised as 'chatting them up')
It has got to the extreme now and half the farangs in Udon seem to think they can walk ino Robinsons and the pretty girls will be swooning at their feet.
They have complained to their bosses and management about it - and he has appealed to the farang community in Udon to cool it off a bit.
Its a shopping mall - not a pick up joint and the poor girls are embarrassed about it.

Post by **mighty-chang** » August 23, 2008, 11:13 am

Yes Paul it is a issue i was on a sontal (truck with seats) the other week and there was this pesty old man trying to chat up a young girl as the journey progressed the more i felt the need to push him off the back of the truck because the young girl was clearly uncomfortable at this point but still this seedy old pest was like a dog with a bone and i was pleased when i got to my destination .
It is these small minority of pesty seedy farang that give the rest of us trying to live here a bad name.

TIP OF THE DAY ( for the pests who harass local woman ) look in the mirror and that face is what you are dear watson better to have a realistic idea of what you are

Post by **WBU ALUM** » August 23, 2008, 11:28 am

Zidane wrote:However if you are on a longer term visa, 90 days plus,it gives you a lot more time to weigh up the alternatives.
Just walk around the Charoensri complex,for instance.Plenty of good looking young ladies around in the shops or restaurants.
Provided you look and behave half decent I dont think you would have any problem meeting a nice girl in Udon.
I think the farang looking smart and behaving well is a big issue for the girl because many are put off by ageing, overweight, drunken slobs who really do think they are "hansum" men.

I agree with this, Zidane.

The dating/courtship process is pretty much the same everywhere in the world when it comes to "nice girls." The groping, slobbering, jump-right-in-the-sack attitude doesn't fly well.

Looking and behaving half decent goes a long way.

oldfield · Post by **oldfield** » August 23, 2008, 11:33 am

You often see dirty old men wandering round Robinsons chatting up the girls - It's quite sad and embarrasing to be honest.

I wish they would stop as they are spoiling it for the rest of us!!!

Post by **BKKSTAN** » August 23, 2008, 11:53 am

IMO,this girl was trying to have a patronizing friendly conversation with a falang.

She is speaking completely outside the norm about proper and expected behavior involving office relationships and she knows it,unlessshe is theonly employee which she was not!

I agree with Pauls ''probably''!

I believe that unless the office worker ,even if she is actually attracted to a falang,would have to be a strongwilled person with a unique family background or''on the game''to go against cultural norms and accept negative community perceptions about her as a Thai women with a falang!

So as long as the motivation is security(a girl of lower economic family background,present economic difficulties,divorced w/w/o children or being used by the family),chances of finding an educated ''good girl'' are extremely limited!That is why,imo,the relationship success key of total honesty with transparent communication is lacking to begin with!

Post by **cali4995** » August 23, 2008, 12:02 pm

I must confess, when I was browsing through the Charoensri I witnessed
a few girls getting hit-on rather relentlessly. It is kind of the first place to
go when you visit downtown. I gather the ladies will be becoming more
tense and less receptive to lone farangs out on the prowl. When you're
with a girl already now that's different. Then, of course, they must have you.