A REAL DILEMA

Post by **Aircraftdoc** » January 18, 2008, 3:52 am

Ok, at the risk of being totally blasted for this, I really need some advice. I have been happily married to my Thai Wife for 31 years. On our last two summer trips to Udon Thani, I became really close with my wifes sister. Now my wife doesn't want to retire in Thailand because she fears (actually is jealous) of her little sister. I must admit if I wasn't married, I would certainly chase her sister. HELP!!

Post by **banpaeng** » January 18, 2008, 4:29 am

Just my two cents worth, knowing the jealous nature of women, you must ask a question. What is worth more, my moving to Thailand or my marriage? It is a question only you can answer.

Post by **farang** » January 18, 2008, 4:53 am

who do you love? your wife or her sister?.............................

good luck to you..

Post by **ronan01** » January 18, 2008, 7:13 am

Hope your wife does not read this forum. Leave her sister alone.

Post by **Irish Alan** » January 18, 2008, 7:20 am

The grass usually seems greener on the other side only thing is when you jump over it, it actually is the same colour.

Fancying another woman is one thing... But her sister? Call me old-fashioned but I just can't see the happy ending.

Post by **woody** » January 18, 2008, 8:03 am

One way to make a huge mess

You could just as easily become close with someone outside the family

Still a mess but smaller

Post by **Kenn** » January 18, 2008, 9:04 am

31 years is a long time,
the cards are in your hands, play wisely

i am sure you dont want a Family Feud to start Brewing...you dont ...right

Post by **arjay** » January 18, 2008, 10:35 am

Agree with all the above, particularly the grass is always greener and stay away from the sister.

Even if you changed horses, and lost your wife of 31 years!!!! - both would subsequently resent it, as well as the whole family. Recipe for a mess.

If you want to move to LOS, why not pick somewhere a very long way from the sister.

Post by **Bump** » January 18, 2008, 11:34 am

You really didn't need to ask this question you knew the answer. If you as you say are happily married then stay that way that is very rare these days Personally I wouldn't risk that for anything.

Might ask yourself what interest does liitle sister have in her sisters husband and why.

You might also ask yourself is she is willing to interfere in her sister's hapiness, what would she do to you.

We all have fantacies, but in the end they are all plumbed the same way. But thier character and honesty is usually very different.

Udon is a great place for retirement, but it's not the only place in Thailand. Why would you want to live close to the family anyway?

Privacy is something to protect here.

Post by **aznyron** » January 18, 2008, 12:09 pm

sounds like competition between sister chasing the same man
I must confess I did not read the entire post only the last few post
my nephew who was married to a nice P/R girl sister was giving him B/J
guess what sister told sister every thing and guess what he lost every thing in divorce court
from the few post I read it seems like they are giving you very good advice
enjoy the BJ as long as it not from your sister in law

oldfield · Post by **oldfield** » January 18, 2008, 3:40 pm

Aircraftdoc wrote:Ok, at the risk of being totally blasted for this, I really need some advice. I have been happily married to my Thai Wife for 31 years. On our last two summer trips to Udon Thani, I became really close with my wifes sister. Now my wife doesn't want to retire in Thailand because she fears (actually is jealous) of her little sister. I must admit if I wasn't married, I would certainly chase her sister. HELP!!

Happily married for 31 years...why throw it away? It's a no brainer for me

Look back at all those years you've spent together. Ask yourself 'Has she been good to me? Has she been there for me during the bad times? Will she be there for me when I am old and wrinkly? etc. etc. If you think the answer is yes, then why would you want to be an as.shole to her and throw that away?

Unless you are an as.shole...

Post by **Aardvark** » January 18, 2008, 4:18 pm

Aircraftdoc, are you kidding

Post by **dill** » January 18, 2008, 7:13 pm

Aircraftdoc wrote:Ok, at the risk of being totally blasted for this, I really need some advice. I have been happily married to my Thai Wife for 31 years. On our last two summer trips to Udon Thani, I became really close with my wifes sister. Now my wife doesn't want to retire in Thailand because she fears (actually is jealous) of her little sister. I must admit if I wasn't married, I would certainly chase her sister. HELP!!

you said it your self ,you have been happily married for 31 years.
if you are happy ,dont go there.
it is just not worth it.

Post by **Krukan** » January 18, 2008, 7:20 pm

Why choose ? an mia noy can bee nice to have, but maybe not your wifes sister.

Post by **JimboPSM** » January 18, 2008, 9:10 pm

Why not consider retiring to a different part of Thailand (maybe somewhere by the sea, like Cha Am or Hua Hin), you get the benefit of retiring to Thailand, your wife is back in her country and can go vist her family when she likes - visa renewals would not be at Nong Khai and temptation is not on your doorstep.

Post by **nevket240** » January 19, 2008, 3:51 am

Mai Dee, Mai Dee

#1 way to lose your dangling bits.

cheers..

Post by **Aircraftdoc** » January 19, 2008, 7:06 am

I got it, I hear you all and "Thanks" all for your thoughts & advice. I didn't mean for any of you to think I was leaving my wife....not in a million years as she is my true love, even though I did say "If I was not married I would chase her sister" I was seeking advice on how to convince my wife to retire in Thailand and not sweat the sister thing.... It seems as she gets older she gets less secure and me getting along so well with her sister must have struck a nerve. There was no monkey business or thoughts of it on my part or her sister as far as I know. I'm a warm and fuzzy kind of guy and we just became instant friends, perhaps enjoying one anothers company a bit too much. I have visited Udon Thani and Nong Khai and really like the area.

Post by **Bump** » January 19, 2008, 7:32 am

Glad to hear that for you and your wife. Lets how to convience a woman not to be jealous, got me

You guys have a very long track record if she can still be jealous now I don't think your going to change that.

You sure that there might be more to your situation, it seem to be very hard for a lady to return here after enjoyng the independence of creating a life in the states.

They had to adapt there, so they are different then when they left. The family still thinks of them in the same way as before. It seems to be a difficult adjutment going back the other direction.

Actually probably easier for us guys we only have to just to being here. Unless of course you go back, for me that would be tough.

My suggestion put a little distance between you and the family, convience her to try a short trial period. Don't buy a house and don't, burn't the bridges. after a yaer if things are still the same, more then likely you should return to the states. I see your from California, I have a good retirement and there is no way I could do more then exist there. But there are other areas that are not as expensive.

Tough situation if she is not happy here I doubt that you will be.

Post by **Aircraftdoc** » February 2, 2008, 2:12 am

Thanks everyone. My wife and I have talked it out and decided to try it for at least 1 year. We will rent a home and find some community programs/events that we can involve ourselves in. Our goal after retirement is to travel, relax, enjoy life and help others as much as possible. I certainly agree moving back will be easier for me than her but I'm very glad she has a supportive family. We will have a great retirement income but staying in California is not an option. I am very kind hearted and therefore want to help her family (very very poor) as much as possible. I will never give away the farm but have been blessed and feel the need and compassion to help...

Post by **arjay** » February 2, 2008, 10:11 am

Aircraftdoc, I very much agree with Bump's advice, particularly:

You guys have a very long track record if she can still be jealous now I don't think your going to change that.

My suggestion put a little distance between you and the family, convience her to try a short trial period. Don't buy a house and don't, burn't the bridges. after a yaer if things are still the same, more then likely you should return to the states. I see your from California, I have a good retirement and there is no way I could do more then exist there. But there are other areas that are not as expensive.

Good Luck.

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