England to retain the Ashes - JUST

[Nick@AUA]

When did Australia last suffer 3 innings defeats in a series loss ?

Never.

[wazza]

Well Bob ( r u pissed yet on tall warm Leo's ? ) and Banjo will provide a summary worth reading no doubt.

Mine is quiet simple really - we had our butts well and trully kicked, well played to the Poms.

Thanks for the gr8 post, some classic lines no doubt ( jokes included )

I only have 2 concerns now,

1st - what will the selectors be thnking of now for the next tour ?? some new blood, Punter is our only Skipper with Clarke in serious doubt about being dropped .

2nd - What time will Mash open his shop on a Sunday morning for me, to receive his trophy. God this is going to be a long day !!!

[Galee]

I seem to recall after the last 5-0 white wash the Ozzie press were saying The Ashes were dead and no longer worth playing for. I agree.
Bring on the South Africans, their give us more of a game.

[wazza]

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"Bring on the Boks "- This Phenomenon usually occurs after a Pommy win, which astounds pundits and causes them to make statments that they will regret later. LOL

This series win puts the Poms at 3rd in world placings, behind India and the Boks who i believe are well and truly entrenched in the top 2. even if they did draw recently.

[BobHelm]

Here are the stats for the two teams..

England Batting

England Bowling

Australia Batting

Australia Bowling

[Zidane]

When did Australia last suffer 3 innings defeats in a series loss ?

Never.

Correct,young man.....so a record breaking series in more ways than one ! =D>
The statistics,kindly supplied by Bob,are pretty damning for the Aussies.

5 of Englands batsmen averaged 50 or more for the series (Cook 127.66 =D> and Trott would have averaged over 100 but for his unfortunate duck in this match).
For the Aussies,only Hussey managed an average of over 50 although Watson and Haddin werent far off.

And the bowling.... For Australia only the unfortunate Harris has an average to compare to the English seamers Anderson,Bresnan and Tremlett.

So,certainly a series for English fans to savour for a long time !

[stattointhailand]

Oi !!!!!!!

Redundant Again

[pienmash]

Well Bob ( r u pissed yet on tall warm Leo's ? ) and Banjo will provide a summary worth reading no doubt.

Mine is quiet simple really - we had our butts well and trully kicked, well played to the Poms.

Thanks for the gr8 post, some classic lines no doubt ( jokes included )

I only have 2 concerns now,

1st - what will the selectors be thnking of now for the next tour ?? some new blood, Punter is our only Skipper with Clarke in serious doubt about being dropped .

2nd - What time will Mash open his shop on a Sunday morning for me, to receive his trophy. God this is going to be a long day !!!

what ever time is good for you Wazz im planning a drink with Prenders to celebrate the MAGNIFICENT BRAVE ENGLISH LION DESRUCTION OF THE LETTUCE LEAF LIKE AUSSIE BOYS and will be wearing my cider googles on Saturday night ANYTHING could happen especialy if i bump into that huge kateoy again , only just walking ok since last time joke !!..

Mash .... ciderologist

[trekkertony]

Congrats to the well oiled English machine, we were humbled by a superior side. Now for the one day internationals. We normally have a patsie as the third team in the round robin series, it would appear that we will be the patsie in this series. Just to show that a battered and bruised aussie has not lost his sense of humour. Here are a couple of jokes doing the rounds down under at the moment

The Pope was having a shower. Although he's very strict about celibacy, he occasionally felt he needed 'to exercise the Papal wrist',and this happened to be one of those occasions. Just as he reached the Papal climax he saw a photographer taking a picture of the Holy seed flying through the air. 'Hold on a minute!', said the Pope, 'You can't do that - you'll destroy the reputation of the Church!' 'This is my big lottery win,' said the photographer, 'I'll be financially secure for life with these photos!' So the Pope offered to buy the camera from the photographer. After much negotiation they eventually settled on a figure of 2,000,000 Euros. The Pope clothed himself and headed off to destroy the images on the camera. Along the vast Vatican hallways he bumped into his personal housekeeper. Being a bit of a photography buff she noticed the camera and said, 'That looks like a really expensive digital SLR camera, how much did it cost you?' Not being one to lie, the Pope replied,'... two million Euros...'

'TWO MILLION EUROS!' replied the housekeeper. ' - They must have seen you coming!'

A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous blonde Devon girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, Drinks his beer, Throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, And shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, We have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink With the same one twice either.'
The blonde Devonshire girl, Cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, Downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 12 bore, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, And calling for a refill, she says, 'In England we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

[stattointhailand]

Strewth Tony, I know it's a long way "downunder", but does it really take 3 years to get a joke from the UK to Oz?

[wazza]

The first Pommie jokes left in 1787 and it took a year for them to arrive , so it seems a fair comment Statto

Govenor Arthur Phiilip arrived on Jan 26th 1788 with the first fleet !!

( Nice to get one back with the recent onslaught )

[jackspratt]

That's a bit harsh on the 1st settlers wazz.

After all, history has subsequently demonstrated we got the cream of the crop.

[stattointhailand]

Govenor Arthur Phiilip arrived on Jan 26th 1788 with the first fleet !!

If he'd had any sense at all, he would have left on 27th and headed for New Zealand.

By the way Zid:- certainly a series for English fans to savour for a long time !

Not really mate ......... we play them again in a couple of years ...... another POMmelling no doubt!!

[wazza]

Shades of 66 here.

[Banjo]

Another convincing win for the English Cricket Team in the 5th Test Match at the SCG culminating in an equally convincing Series win. They are to be applauded for out playing, out witting and out lasting the Australians over the past 2 months. A brilliant performance! =D> It is easy to say in hindsight, but the English 2nd Innings during the 1st Test Match in Brisbane laid the foundation for some phenomenal batting. Hearing the ball come off some of the English bats during the Series was akin to gunshots … they were hit so damn hard! The only blip on the radar was the 3rd Test in Perth that was always going to be, and has always been, a difficult wicket for the English to play on.

What the Aussies perceived as the weak link in the English team has turned out to be the strongest link. Alastair Cook has been absolutely outstanding and now being spoken about in the same vein as the great Wally Hammond. To score 766 runs in 5 matches, comprising only 7 innings, is truly outstanding. =D> For the St Paul’s Cathedral choir boy to turn around his previous dismal tour downunder to his recent magnificent performances is testament to his hard work, discipline and confidence in his own abilities. Something he no doubt mastered in his choral achievements at the highest level and has applied to his cricket career.

Overall, the English batting has been superb, the English bowling has been imposing and the English fielding has been impressive. As an Englishman by birth, it has been a joy to again see an English sporting team, particularly the Cricket Team, that has both ability and true grit. Every team needs a bit of ‘Beefy’, or as the Aussies say ‘a bit of C**T’ in them to achieve success. Hopefully the English Football Team can take note. The protagonists Anderson and Prior have served it up admirably. I have often shuddered while watching timid, insipid and dithering teams compete against Australia in many different sports. Australia is a proud sporting young multicultural nation and is always up for any challenge. The truth of the matter is that historically Australia has been a far superior Cricket Team and the Ashes record proves this. This has been a most convincing win but by no means a thrashing. I suggest that the English supporters savour this Series win with grace and humility because the Aussies have an extraordinary ability to bounce back quickly. There will be many reviews and planning by the Australian Cricket Board to ensure this result is a mere hiccup.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud to be British and educated in England but I also know how competitive Aussies are at the elite level. It is often referred to ‘White Line Fever’ … crossing the white line into the field of battle. It is an innate Australian trait to be good mates and always help others, but also to be fiercely competitive. My time playing Aussie Rules Football, after being a junior on Birmingham City’s books playing with Trevor Francis (who still remains one of my mates), was a rough and tough initiation. No Queensberry rules, no holds barred, no ‘namby pamby’ helmets or padding … it was fast and brutal with enormous skill required to mark (catch) and kick an oval ball. Whatever happened on the field – stayed on the field. Everyone was good mates after the contest and that is the Australian spirit in all sport. Football, the beautiful game, pales into insignificance as a soft contact sport compared to Australian Rules Football.

Historically, sport generally has a trend of following ‘Wave Theory’ … teams have their highs and lows. This period of time is certainly a low for Australian Cricket having dropped from being the number 1 team in the world down to 5. The English can be happy in having developed a very competitive Cricket Team that believe they can win all matches that they play. Time will tell how far they have progressed when they play the Indians and the South Africans. In the meantime, the Australians having lost the likes of Haydn, Langer, Gilchrist, Warne and McGrath and are in a rebuilding phase. I am not so sure that Clarke is the right person to Captain the Team. He seems to have too many attributes similar to Kim Hughes. As for the rest, they will persevere with Smith, Beer and Khawaja to blend a future successful team with probably Ponting (should he stay on which is expected), Clarke, Watson, Hussey and Haddin. Johnson needs to settle his disputes with his mother and concentrate on his cricket and playing a consistent role.

Anyway, a brewery is offering coupons in tomorrow’s Australian newspapers for a free can or stubbie of Victoria Bitter. Yihaaaaaaa! No, it is not that dishwater that is exported as Fosters and XXXX, it is a fine Australian ale. So I shall partake and both celebrate a fine victory for the English and commiserate with my Aussie mates.

Well done to the English Cricket Team. =D> =D> =D>

[stattointhailand]

Excellent post Banjo =D> Enjoy your stubby

Only one "tiny" point of dissagreement .................... when we have to wait sooooooo long for moments like this, and we KNOW that in a short time (may be even later this month) we will have to put up with all the Aussie barracking/sledging again, after our boys have finished a "gentlemanly second" again, it is really hard to savour the win with grace and humility ............. couldn't we just "kick arse" for a day or two PLEASE

[wazza]

Excellent post Banjo =D>

couldn't we just "kick arse" for a day or two PLEASE

Lets leave that to Everton !!

[trubrit]

Well this must be a novel twist. You would have thought that England winning would have driven the Aussies to drink. Apparently not. In London pubs they stopped drinking .
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-12138220

[siddiq]

It took the English 24 years to retain the Ashes in Australia. I think many in England delude themselves in believing they are a cricketing nation but you never see boys playing the game all the time like you do in Pakistan, it is not in their English blood. The Australians will reclaim the Ashes on their return to England and we can wait another quarter of a century before the English can claim them back.

[Banjo]

............. couldn't we just "kick arse" for a day or two PLEASE

Thanks Statts

Yeah ... of course I do all the time!