Fantasy Football

[beer monkey]

Right here beside you. Don't ask me about Footie though, I'm still not sure how the offside rule works.

Heyyyyyyyy westers was you always the last person to be picked when playing footy in lunch breaks in Junior school..?...

[westerby]

Right here beside you. Don't ask me about Footie though, I'm still not sure how the offside rule works.

Heyyyyyyyy westers was you always the last person to be picked when playing footy in lunch breaks in Junior school..?...

Oddly yes, on account of my personality (or lack of it) and NHS spectacles. And that's why small boys in goal wear glasses.

[polehawk]

and they dress incorrectly? So that's why they put the wrong colored jersey on? Thanks, doc. Think I got it now.

[Irish Alan]

(Some text removed.) ok, finally figured out the offsides calls. maybe. now, wondering WHY do the goalies wear jerseys that are different colored than their teammates?

To make it easier for referees to differentiate between players. So in a crowd of players he can see who is picking up the ball. Once upon a time goalies had to wear long sleeves too to make it easier for the ref to see the goalie going up to gather a cross.

Note: A cross is a ball that is crossed from either side of the pitch and has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity.

[westerby]

Note: A cross is a ball that is crossed from either side of the pitch and has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity.

Unless it's an Old Firm game.

[polehawk]

Thanks for the explanation, IA. Makes sense. If they all had the same colored shirts some of those sneaky defenders hanging around in front of the net would just grab the ball with their bare hands. I apologize now for sweeping past you in the standings. Still haven't figured out how that happened.

Now about those sponsors names on the jerseys. Why don't they put them on back like in bowling?


you guys didn't think I would go the whole year without asking some dumb questions, did you? tried to warn you that yanks don't know anything about soccer.

[Irish Alan]

Note: A cross is a ball that is crossed from either side of the pitch and has nothing whatsoever to do with Christianity.

Unless it's an Old Firm game.

And that DEFINITELY has nothing to do with Christianity. Unless there was a scripture that contained the words: "Go forth and kick seven shades of 5hite out of each other."

Thanks for the explanation, IA. Makes sense. If they all had the same colored shirts some of those sneaky defenders hanging around in front of the net would just grab the ball with their bare hands. I apologize now for sweeping past you in the standings. Still haven't figured out how that happened.

It went downhill for me about 5 minutes after the button that said: "Click to submit team."

Now about those sponsors names on the jerseys. Why don't they put them on back like in bowling?

"Have you even seen a football (don't use the 'S' word) player running backwards?

you guys didn't think I would go the whole year without asking some dumb questions, did you? tried to warn you that yanks don't know anything about soccer.

You used the 'S' word... Ask away I'll be glad to teach you everything I know about FOOTBALL. I'll just scribble it on the back of a postage stamp.

[stattointhailand]

Just got back from Koh Chang, and am quite pleased to see that the "managerless" shirkers have been doing reasonably well in my absence.
Using players from the bench last weekend neted a satisfactory 41 pts, and with the players back for the midweek fixtures, they have amassed 40 so far with three players including my AMERICAN captain playing double bubble.

After prolonged talks and more than a few drinks on deserted islands, I am pleased to announce that the new shirkers manager is no less than .......

Mr Chris Talmighty

Chris has assured me that he has worked miracles before, and even though it is a big cross to bear, he can propel the shirkers into the top half of the table.
He has also promissed to get the team into a top three place in the head to head league (from their current 5th spot).
I have made the 6m quid currently in the bank available for transfers, but informed him that any more will have to be generated from the sale of current players, or selling fish and wine outside the ground.

This will be chris' first managerial appointment since he was crucified after the failure of the Jerusalem Jews to make the playoffs in the Palastinian Premier League back in 35AD.

We wish him and the players well, in what remains of the season

[stattointhailand]

Was it a MIRACLE or just "new manager syndrome" ???

Kieren Richardson, the first player to pull on a shirkers shirt after the appointment of Mr Chris Talmighty, scores after 3 mins, gets 3 bonus points, and ends up scoreing 10 points ....... more than his previous return (9pts) since the start of the year.

Only downside ..... he picked up his 10th booking.

An order has been placed for a new "All White" strip, and we are close to signing a new sponsorship deal with Red Bull (gives you wings).
As part of the new "get the fans involved" promotion, a plate will be passed around Shirkers Stadium during next weeks home game, and verses 5 to 9 of the programme notes will be read by the new manager.

[beer monkey]

As part of the new "get the fans involved" promotion, a plate will be passed around Shirkers Stadium during next weeks home game

Will it be full of pies..?


And i just read on the FA website that a certain manager is under suspicion of making to many 'duff' decisions...a sort of double agent type of thing, his contract is being looked at with a fine toof comb to see if there is any get out clause.....a news flash update will come as soon as a final decision has been made by Lord Triesman Chaiman of da FA init.

[beer monkey]

http://www.thefa.com/default.htm

09.03.09 FA press release.

LONDON (ap) TukTuk11 manager is suspended and will be fined after the Football Association charged him for making foolish irregular transfers, and not living up to his promise not to mess around with his given team.

A mass cock-up before last weeks deadline which ended with a piss poor score.

Sunderland striker Mr Cisse was secretly brought in for two games also Mr Anelka was brought back in and has failed to play after stubbing his toe, Anelka replaced regular scorer Berbatov,also Mr Stephen Ireland was mysteriously benched, and we believe that Fulham Football Club where 'Given' a massive cash boost by an un-named benefactor for letting in a last minute goal and the Club Owner accused manager Englebert Obama Humperdink III of playing for the opposition.

"He's playing for the opposition"...said the clubs owner.

"Englebert has been suspended and charged with improper conduct and/or bringing the game into disrepute," the F.A. said in a statement.


Englebert has until the end of the yesterday to respond to the charges.

A new manager is being sought before next deadline.

[Galee]

1 match to go to save the week BM.

My wifes made me sleep in the other bedroom. She's got fed up with me having nightmares and waking her up. Apparently I'm shouting, "Should have kept Keane as Captain" all the time.

[stattointhailand]

Now I know how the chairman of Derby County must feel ........ you spend ages getting "God's son" to take over as manager of your team, and then Englebert comes available within days ...... and just when my "brown paper bag" factory could use some new orders as well.

Good luck to Nigel Clough, if he's half as good as his "old man" Derby will be back in the premiership 2010/11.

[stattointhailand]

JOSE .........SPECIAL ONE ..........

you 'avin a larff or what.

Mr CHRIS TALMIGHTY has to be "the special one".



talk about motivation. He's only been in charge a couple of days, and he's already got Kieren Richardson scoreing again, and now he's got the captain Clint Dempsey (USA) finding the back of the onion bag.

On the transfer front he's got rid of AJ, who apart from being a complete waste of space, wouldn't say his prayers before kick off [-o< , and brought back an old shirker, who although having played only one full game after an injury, looked sharp and ready to show the shirker faithful what he is capable of.
Chris is so confident in this players potential to rack up "huge" points, that he has been given the armband for this weekends away fixture.

Chris has obviously been doing his "homework" as he has pointed out to the players that even though they are well down the table at the moment, this can't be down to them, as they have outscored every team (with the exception of Souness =D> ) since the start of 2009, and if they carry on in the same vain they will be challenging for a top 5 or 6 place come the end of the season.
He also pointed out that there were in fact 4015 teams with exactly the same number of points as the shirkers and 43 in Thailand with the same points.
The dressing room is buzzing again, with the players looking forward to this weekends fixtures with a level of confidence and expectancy that has not been seen since early season.

[beer monkey]

The dressing room is buzzing again, with the players looking forward to this weekends fixtures with a level of confidence and expectancy that has not been seen since early season.

Must be the thought of that plate of pies that will be passed around at half time.

I must say nice to have a week or so break from brain busting transfer desicions....back on it this week though.

[stattointhailand]

If you get a spare 10 mins, have a look at the guy who won last week (about 125pts I think).
There's 8 in the league he's in, and 4 of them scored over 112 pts.
The guy at the bottom is a real star .... not sure if he understands the rules though .... he's currently on Minus 547 pts .... made 19 transfers this week and a whopping 621 transfers from week one. Thats an ave of 22 transfers a week (Tinkerman eat yer heart out).
I reckon hes had to "buy" say 621 - 27 free - 22 wild card is 572 transfers @ 4 pts each.
Thats 2288 pts. He's on -547, so he has actually scored 1741 pts which would have him pretty near the top if it hadn't been for the transfers

[Irish Alan]

I am thinking to reverting to a kamikaze policy and doing likewise. I have nothing to lose as I'm going nowhere... Worse bit is I'm not even learning with a view to next season that is IF there is a next season for me. Choosing well from the teams that come up may play a big part so I might take a keen interest in Wolves, Birmingham and Reading from now on.

[stattointhailand]

Doncaster rovers could still make the play offs..... and then it's "lottery time again"

[Irish Alan]

Doncaster rovers could still make the play offs..... and then it's "lottery time again"

I doubt it Statto... Any team down to Preston in 9th on 57pts but Doncaster on 49?

P.S. Michael Owen is fit again.

[stattointhailand]

Well this IS a fantasy football thread.......

Back in Nov/Dec time both Donny and Forest looked certainties for the drop, as both were several points adrift at the bottom. Then they won 8 out of 9 to climb to mid table. Another run like that, with the top teams all dropping points, and a playoff place is still possible.