Thai Daughter-in-Law Now in US

[Alagrl]

Well, everyone, good news! Our Thai daugher-in-law arrived in the US on Sunday. She came over on a fiance visa, and they will have a civil ceremony on Valentine's Day at the courthouse (registry office for you Brits). Certainly won't have the panache of the Thai village wedding!

The first task has been to get her enrolled quickly in local English-as-a-Second-Language classes -- she understands and reads some English but is extremely shy about speaking it. Her Thai mother-in-law is helping with this, and supporting her in Thai for the time being. My step-son's Thai is adequate but not fluent, so it should be good for both of them.

Other than the Georgia winter weather, she doesn't seem too shell-shocked. They will be living about 120 miles from us, so I probably won't be seeing her more than once a month.

As to what would be helpful for the falang in-laws to provide, what would you suggest when she comes to visit Atlanta? Would simply getting out and about in the city be good -- shopping, parks, restaurants, etc.?

Shara

[yorkman]

Well....given my short experience of taking a thai female to falangland, Thai food (so they can complain its not real), seeing the famous sights (like trying to find the Eiffel tower in London), phone calls to home, shopping, more "Thai" food, and more shopping

Just kidding (almost); the new experience and a family welcome is all you need to provide IMHO,

John

[Alagrl]

Good input!

I wondered about the Thai restaurants...we do have a number of Thai restaurants in Atlanta, one that is our regular spot. I have to put up with my husband's comments on the food -- "not hot enough," yada, yada, yada. He's finally achieved an understanding with them on the seasoning.

One advantage is that Atlanta has a huge International Farmer's Market, so I can take her there and let her buy some Thai ingredients that she can't get easily in the smaller town where she will live.

And shopping is a necessity, as she just doesn't have enough warm clothes.

[yorkman]

And shopping is a necessity

Well she will bond with the falang mother in law easily then

John

[banpaeng]

You hit on a very important thing for the transplant. That is fresh vegetables from an open market. Most miss that. Also find a very good asian market. It can be Thai, Vietnemese, Phillipine. All will carry a lot of products from Thailand. Her being able to cook and eat foods from her country or diet will be very important. If any doubters think about what you look for if you are moving to Thailand and the answers become clear. Sure you like Thai foods but you still want to buy something you call home.

Using that Gulf Coast, think about what you wanted to see or do in Thailand and try to think what matches those expectations here. I really think you have it down already. Food, Shopping, Food, Sightseeing, Food, Shopping, Food.

Wish all the families well on this transition.

[beer monkey]

Speaking from experiance my TW has been in uk since july 2003, Food-Food-Food,and make sure she's got easy means of comunication with home, there won't be a thai resturant thats the same as in thailand, the tomyum soup won't be right,the chillies wont be hot enough and the papaya salad well ?? specialist food supply is a must, we are lucky 3 shops within 3miles, if she is a bit shy at speaking english try a little thai it helps. My TW took 2 months till she would visit my folks, but know speaks to them in fairly good english and is very comfortable with it, but she wont talk to them in english when i am in the room?? i do notice my mum waves her arms about a bit trying to explain something as if she(tw) is a bit hard of hearing (bless her) and shopping of coarse !!!! first thing i brought her was a mobile phone and digital camera so she can snap away and send pic's back home also Which will come in handy when site-seeing if she is a bit shy try not to throw her in at the deep end with friends and neighbours . Thats about it from my experiance.

something in there may help.

[Alagrl]

Beer Monkey, the digital camera of her own is a terrific idea! Her career interest is IT/computers, and that would really appeal to her.

The Thai ex-wife/new mother-in-law got her enrolled already in English classes -- she knows how important it is. In the class, there is a Thai gentleman from Bangkok about her father's age, so she has an outlet for side conversation.

As to my step-son, we're ready to "smack him upside the head." He hasn't explained the US currency system, and he's not as focused and solicitous of her as he was in Thailand -- thinks he can chat on the phone to his friends or zip out during the evening and leave his new wife with the Thai mother-in-law. I see fireworks shaping up, but he's going to have to work through this himself.

[beer monkey]

Don't forget to tell her how to call emergency service's, many people would'nt even think about it till they needed them fast.
zipping out and leaving with mothering law,chatting on phone to friends, yes Fireworks indeed.

[BangkokButcher]

That truley is great news Shara, hope it all goes well for them

[Alagrl]

Does anyone else have adult progeny in their 20's who are "going-on-40" one day and then "going-on-12" the next day? Actually, it's the males -- our daughters are pretty sane.

I found a book that talks about Thai/falang relationships -- each subject is discussed with English on the left side of the bookpage, Thai on the right. Is anyone familiar with this book (can't remember the name)? I believe it discusses differences in money (huge issue), etc.

[BobHelm]

Shara,
The book you mean is:
Thailand Fever
by Vitida Vasant and Chris Pirazzi
If you want it and it isn't in places like Amazon then you can order it directly from the Book Reviews page of the Stickman site for $15.95.
http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/book.html

[Roadman]

Well done gulfcoast.
A very thoughtful way to help the new family member settle in.
I agree with pretty well everything that Beer Monkey has thrown up.

The other suggestion I would make, if thai mother-in-law has not got it in hand, is other thai people (a community group, thai society, temple?). A thai m-i-l and thai father figure is great, but the other thing that will buy a lot of space for everyone, is if she can find a thai girl friend. There is a lot to the

[Alagrl]

Yes, Amazon had the book available for shipping tomorrow.

The Thai community hookup is a great idea for when I can get her up here to Atlanta. I don't think Macon has a very big or organized Thai community, but Atlanta has a Thai community group that publishes a newsletter in Thai. There's also a Thai temple in one of the suburbs (and a Laotian, and Cambodian, and Vietnamese, and Chinese, and Japanese, and...we're covered on the Buddhists). In fact, I was interested in visiting to check out the Thai lessons on Sunday mornings -- has to be more interesting than my usual Methodist sermons.

We're running into differences in dialect. My step-daughter speaks some Thai, but her ear is attuned to the Isaan dialect, and the new daughter-in-law speaks a more Central Thai dialect. I suppose this is like someone from rural Mississippi trying to understand someone from the Bronx?

Unfortunately, the young Thai woman living closest to the new daughter-in-law is her husband's ex-wife! Ohmigod, let's hope those two don't meet up any time soon.

[banpaeng]

Sent a pm but wife speaks all those dialects. If she wants to talk let me know and will send number for her to talk. Too far for a quick visit or would do that.

[beer monkey]

Yes, Amazon had the book available for shipping tomorrow.

The Thai community hookup is a great idea for when I can get her up here to Atlanta. I don't think Macon has a very big or organized Thai community, but Atlanta has a Thai community group that publishes a newsletter in Thai. There's also a Thai temple in one of the suburbs (and a Laotian, and Cambodian, and Vietnamese, and Chinese, and Japanese, and...we're covered on the Buddhists). In fact, I was interested in visiting to check out the Thai lessons on Sunday mornings -- has to be more interesting than my usual Methodist sermons.

We're running into differences in dialect. My step-daughter speaks some Thai, but her ear is attuned to the Isaan dialect, and the new daughter-in-law speaks a more Central Thai dialect. I suppose this is like someone from rural Mississippi trying to understand someone from the Bronx?

Unfortunately, the young Thai woman living closest to the new daughter-in-law is her husband's ex-wife! Ohmigod, let's hope those two don't meet up any time soon.

This is getting a bit confusing.

[Garnet]

I felt it too, Beer Monkey!

Shara, you're going to have to start naming these ladies so that we can keep track!

[Alagrl]

Of course it's confusing. It's a totally dysfunctional, multi-married, multi-divorced, multi-generational, multi-lingual Thai/American family.

Woo-hoo! Are we having a good time now?!

[beer monkey]

Sounds like there could be a soap opera program in there somewhere, daytime TV is calling.......

[hellofriends]

keep her away from money and your son will have a happy life