FARLUNG FOR THAI PM

[saint]

westers , we both go to the night market , but as trubrit tends to think hes above most of us , he tends to sit alone or with his chosen few , whereas i will talk to most people irrispective of where they come from or how they dress . although i do prefer to converse with people who have thier head firmly on thier shoulders , and not stuck between thier butt cheeks .

It would appear your inferiority complex is showing again.

coming from you , i will take it as a compliment . im only trying to get back on your foe list .

[Irish Alan]

1. Outlaw the use of the word fahlang/farang or any variant. A 50 Baht fine if heard using the word in a public place.
2. Vests are an item of underwear. Having a logo does not change that. Underwear should not be worn in public. Wear a shirt or 100 Baht fine.
3. As your new PM, you the Thai public should know my country of origin, be able to pick it out on a map and pronounce it. Not Iceland, not Eye-Lan. IRELAND… Understand? Starting with government officials and working down the food chain till we get to the Samlor drivers in a few years you will know this. Failing these questions, 100 Baht fine.
4. Samlor drivers will have to undergo geographical testing. You must know more than airport and Eye-Lish (weren’t you warned about that?) Cock.
5. Samlors will have to pass a roadworthiness test. Screeching to a standstill will result in failure and vehicle if it could be called that will be repossessed.
6. Morlam music is banned.
7. Monks chanting before 8am will be executed.
8. Playing music after 10pm is prohibited.
9. Driving the wrong way against the flow of traffic is prohibited. 500 Baht fine.
10. Any Issan resident heard ending an English sentence ending in the word Baw, e.g. “You want something to ding baw?” Will be fined 50 Baht.

[westerby]

1. Outlaw the use of the word fahlang/farang or any variant. A 50 Baht fine if heard using the word in a public place.
2. Vests are an item of underwear. Having a logo does not change that. Underwear should not be worn in public. Wear a shirt or 100 Baht fine.
3. As your new PM, you the Thai public should know my country of origin, be able to pick it out on a map and pronounce it. Not Iceland, not Eye-Lan. IRELAND… Understand? Starting with government officials and working down the food chain till we get to the Samlor drivers in a few years you will know this. Failing these questions, 100 Baht fine.
4. Samlor drivers will have to undergo geographical testing. You must know more than airport and Eye-Lish (weren’t you warned about that?) Cock.
5. Samlors will have to pass a roadworthiness test. Screeching to a standstill will result in failure and vehicle if it could be called that will be repossessed.
6. Morlam music is banned.
7. Monks chanting before 8am will be executed.
8. Playing music after 10pm is prohibited.
9. Driving the wrong way against the flow of traffic is prohibited. 500 Baht fine.
10. Any Issan resident heard ending an English sentence ending in the word Baw, e.g. “You want something to ding baw?” Will be fined 50 Baht.

Sorry, Alan - too Draconian. You'd have Sam Lor drivers blocking the runways within days. However, compulsary (have I spelt that right?) geography lessons for kids so they know where Eire is, is a good idea. Then they'd be aware of the existence of Hampshire and leafy Surrey in relation to your big green island. Definite banning of Morlam on the cards, I see no use for this kind of music at all. Unless you're a young Isaan lad who likes to dance and fight in front of the stage. Yes, ban Morlam on the grounds of crowd control.

[beer monkey]

I know where Eire is...its in my tyres on my car.

Yes I would make the Samlaws undergo a strict brake check....to cut out the spine tingling screech.

[beer monkey]

Also every paving slab/stone in the Kingdom would be checked for looseness and cemented firmly in place to avoid Hot steaming dirty stinking water from becoming trapped under them.

[dahkchang]

Please don't try and change thailand into one of those western countries that alot of us can't wait to get away from.
morlam is part of isan culture. If you don't like it you don't have to go. youngsters will fight at dances all over the world, always have always will. My wife advises me on which villages you can expect trouble and she has been spot on.
As for wearing singlets, wake up we are staying in a country that has a tropical climate. It took us aussies 200 years
to realise it is stupidity to dress like our ancesters did back in the uk in cooler weather.

[beer monkey]

Errrrr its just a bit of light hearted banter darkchang.

[dahkchang]

fair enough, but i does get a bit much hearing about dress sense all the time.

what about more important things like regulations for dunnies:
must provide more toilet paper not just a hose, farlung style not squat (thai) style, no water on the floor ect.

[BKKSTAN]

fair enough, but i does get a bit much hearing about dress sense all the time.

what about more important things like regulations for dunnies:
must provide more toilet paper not just a hose, farlung style not squat (thai) style, no water on the floor ect.

Now ,you are into the swing of things with very good proposals

[Pakawala]

I've only just now read this particular thread because when I read the title, I just assumed it was referring to some Thai politician by the name of Farlung - had no idea they were talking about farangs. Anyway, I'd like to put in my small bit:
1. I'd require there be a complete make-over of the Police Training and management. Make sufficient changes that the locals will feel they can go to the police and receive fair treatment rather than try to avoid them. Increasing the number of M/C cops on the road to enforce traffic laws would be a good start.
2. Dress standards aren't too high on my agenda but... if I'm going to a gov't. office I try to dress the same as I would if I were going to church. For TruBrit and others of his ilk, I'm now retired, I no longer wear a coat and tie while out for a night of fun - I dress comfortably and in line with others at the same venue (NM, local bar, restaurant, etc.).
3. Education is definitely lacking in LOS. Rather than teaching rote memory, they should teach kids to THINK LOGICALLY. Rote memory is only beneficial when learning the times tables. Teaching a child WHY something happens is more important than just learning it happens.
4. I would initiate a system of REWARDING people who properly identify gov't officials who take a bribe. Corruption should NOT BE TOLERATED. If the local Issarn farmer knew he would be compensated for reporting such action it might come to a halt.
There's much more I'd like to see change but I wouldn't want to make LOS another 'Westernized' country - I'd rather leave it exactly as it is than to have that happen.

[Irish Alan]

Please don't try and change thailand into one of those western countries that alot of us can't wait to get away from. morlam is part of isan culture. If you don't like it you don't have to go. youngsters will fight at dances all over the world, always have always will. My wife advises me on which villages you can expect trouble and she has been spot on. As for wearing singlets, wake up we are staying in a country that has a tropical climate. It took us aussies 200 years to realise it is stupidity to dress like our ancesters did back in the uk in cooler weather.

Errrrrr, can't believe what was an attempt at humour was taken seriously... Sometimes I wonder why I bother!

[stattointhailand]

Errrrrr, can't believe what was an attempt at humour was taken seriously... Sometimes I wonder why I bother!

Coz you get bored with too many "serious" subjects, and like to give us all a little at times, for which some of us are very very grateful =D>

[dahkchang]

Cheer up Al, it could have been worse somebody could have accused you of being mighty chang on your first post.

[medical-mustard]

farang for PM in my Manifesto i would also include

1. educate the thai's to turn their heads 90 deg at junction's to see oncoming traffic

2. a fine for any thai who suddenly spin's round while walking along the path in a confused state

3. A Thai law forbidding movement on an escalator to be lifted and a free 2 week course on how to use a escalator

4. ban plastic bags throw anyone using them in jail

5. broadcast an announcement on thai tv that sitting on chairs at a table to eat is better than sitting on the floor

6. that horrible noise "ERR" (meaning yes) to be forbbin any one sounding like a big black bear in public will be fined up the max of 10,000 bt

I have seen these habits in every country I have been in except for 6. I am not sure why the sound makes you upset MM. The Thais think their word for gourd is hilarious in the English. All vocabularies have their silly sounds.

[saint]

im sure if we put our serious heads , there are hundreds of things about thailand that are not right ,and some that are totally unjust . but if all these thing do ever get changed , would it be the place we would all choose to live in . i personaly love this country because in my view the people are relatively free to go about there daily business and lives without some jobsworth telling them they cant do this , or they need a permit for that . i left a country bogged down with beurocracy , i certainly would hate thailand to ever get anywhere near to that .

[medical-mustard]

Yeah Saint im going to take a random guess and come to a conclusion you are also from the land of no hope and gory with it's cold grey mist , broken Society , chav's running around the street with low family morals . England what cack hole give me confusion on escalaters any day rather than being stabbed by a 7ft african.

[saint]

Yeah Saint im going to take a random guess and come to a conclusion you are also from the land of no hope and gory with it's cold grey mist , broken Society , chav's running around the street with low family morals . England what cack hole give me confusion on escalaters any day rather than being stabbed by a 7ft african.

yes and if you are unfortunate enough to be stabbed by anyone , whatever thier race or creed , and if, and its a very big if , the police do somehow manage to catch the aggressor and build a case for the courts , some wishy washy liberal psycologist will say that they are deppressed and not responsible for thier actions , or if an ethnic alleged minority , again someone will defend thier actions saying that they are exercising thier ethnic right and they didnt understand it was not acceptable in thier adopted country , so either way they would get away with a suspended sentance or community service . makes thai justice sound like shangri la .

[medical-mustard]

sounds as if you miss the place saint i live in hope they conduct some nuclear weapons testing on the cack hole what a dismal place jesus hence me sitting in wonderland

[izzix]

[quote="medical-mustard"]Yeah Saint im going to take a random guess and come to a conclusion you are also from the land of no hope and gory with it's cold grey mist , broken Society , chav's running around the street with low family morals . England what cack hole give me confusion on escalaters any day rather than being stabbed by a 7ft african.[/quote]

its an aussie with a chip on his shoulder ..he heh

let me tell you about aussies in London, they live 4-6 to a room in squalid rental slums that black people wouldnt tolerate .why ? because thats what they are happy with it reminds them of back home in that primitive ----- where they come from .In the evenings you will find them in some slum of a pub because they cant face going back to the slum room where they live.

[izzix]

all aussies appear to have an inferiority complex about the uk after they got slaughtered at the Olympics.
they trot out the usual slurs and insults directed at Brits when in fact they live in the most backward and primitive place on the planet. go back to the 70s and australia was a farking dump of a hole, its only because of the asian imigrants that have brought about change since then . But its still a boring dump of drunken slobs and thats just the sheilas .