GF's Parents

Post by **Galee** » April 1, 2006, 4:53 pm

Advice wanted please.

If you were meeting your GF's parents for the first time, would you bring them presents and if so what type of present would be appropriate.

Gary

Post by **polehawk** » April 1, 2006, 6:16 pm

No presents on the first visit. Why build up their hopes that this may be a prelude to a generous sin sod if the relationship becomes a serious one? Just my opinion.

They still call me Cheap Charley Farang, however.

Post by **treehugger** » April 1, 2006, 8:13 pm

Take a present? YOU are the present!!

In the west, meeting the girlfriend's parents is rather routine, and no big deal. Think what it was like in the west sixty or seventy years ago and you will get the general idea. In rural Thailand, when you are taken to meet the parents you are being interviewed as a prospective husband - and in the case of a 'falang' (being fantastically rich and generous), you are likely to be accepted.

So, don't think that it is just a case of routine - you may well be the first male that your GF has ever taken to her home - ask her. If you are the first then get ready for the nuptuals! If not, ask what happened to the others!

Post by **Bangsean_girl** » April 1, 2006, 9:51 pm

Well actually you don't need to bring anything when you visit your gf 's parents first time-just bring yourself is good enough

, but If you buy something that not too expensive like some fruits or food and join the meal with them that would be a good idea !As you know that the thai like to eat together and have a chat ,when your at their home you should ask about their health to show that you care ,furthermore in our culture we always serve a glass of water to our guests ,so it wil be polite if you drink it ,you dont need to drink much just not ignore it . That is all i can think of by now

good luck

Post by **Mudshark** » April 2, 2006, 7:45 am

Galee - I took presents the first time.....but I was staying over for a few days so I considered it only proper to at least defray the costs of my stay.
I bought the groceries for the house and a small present for everyone in the family.

If you are just going for lunch or dinner and that's it then certainly I would adjust what I would bring to fit the circumstances.

I agree its a trade-off between setting expectations too high and showing respect. I would also ask your gf what she thinks is appropriate. She may not come right out and answer you directly, as Thai's can be master's of understatement and discretion, but you'll likely get some clues.

In my case the father was a reformed alcoholic and won't touch the stuff now. So if I had showed up with a bottle of Black Label they would have been polite but obviously an inappropriate gift.

So its really advantageous if you and your gf have good communication. I notice that's always what some of the forum member who've been married to a Thai person for a long time mention has served them well. Say that's not unlike a successful marriage to a Westernor...good communication...some things are the same where ever you are I guess.

Only other thing I can remember was my gf wasn't too happy that I moved from sitting on the floor to one of their teak benches. I have a bad back so it was an issue of comfort. I read later that part of showing respect to parents/older family member includes not looming over them. So, if you can, stay on the mat on the floor....if that's what your gf's family does for a meal.

Good luck on the first visit!

valentine · Post by **valentine** » April 2, 2006, 7:59 am

Two styles depending on the class of the girl and her family. If she is obviously from a farming style community and the meeting is at her home. Take a bottle of farang whiskey, not as a present but for every one to share.Warning, don't think you will just be meeting the parents, it is normal for everybody for miles around to come out of the woodwork to see and comment on the Farang. Yes you are being appraised, smile at everyone, yes even that drunken sod that insists he can speak English, where you come from at least 10 times will be his limit.
The other style, if she is from an obviously wealthy or apparently well placed family, I would suggest the first meet be at your invitation to them. take them to a good restaurant, of your GF choosing, foot the bill, refuse all offers to contribute, tonight the father is giving you the honour of being Mr Big. He will more than repay your generosity later.Again you are being appraised, be ready for lots of questions on your job, what number are you in the company( Are you the boss?)Its quite fun, when you understand what is happening. Before you go, arrange for a close friend to ring you later in the meal, if its okay just say goodbye, if things are getting too oppressive, make your apologies, tell them someones sick or something, pay the bill and go. It beats exiting out the toilet window.

Post by **businessman** » April 2, 2006, 11:37 am

No gift,just bring a big smile and show you are "jai dee".When friends come over the local girls always ask first about the heart and second about money and prospects.

Post by **Prenders88** » April 2, 2006, 5:22 pm

Don't turn up in shorts, vest, and cheapo flipflops.
Val mentioned the Whiskey, a good idea as all the family, and half the village, will turn up to have a look at you. They will make comments that you have all your own hair and teeth, and you have not got a beer gut, and your a "Smart Man". Expect lots of ribbing. Get a case of beer, up here in Issanshire Leo is the prefered brand.
If things get serious, then your girlfriend will take you to the gold shop and the Toyota dealer and order a four door pick up truck on the strap. Gone are days when you could get away with 125cc motorbike.
Good Luck.

Tony

Post by **Galee** » April 2, 2006, 7:01 pm

Thanks to everybody for your suggestions.

Will talk to GF before meeting parents.

Without wanting to go into personal details, I have been introduced to a lovely Thai lady by a Thai friend and don't want to muck things up.

Gary

Post by **Mudshark** » April 3, 2006, 4:28 am

Prenders88 wrote:If things get serious, then your girlfriend will take you to the gold shop and the Toyota dealer and order a four door pick up truck on the strap. Gone are days when you could get away with 125cc motorbike.
Good Luck.

Tony

Kind of agree with Tony on what tends to transpire these days if it's your gf's first (potential) marriage. If your gf is from a modest farming family the 125 cc motorbike might do it for a while during the dating phase.

Motorbikes are relatively cheap...maybe 35,000 new for a clutchless Honda. Can also be easily purchased on installments.

BTW...what is a four door Toyota pick-up truck worth in Thailand ???

Graham

Post by **Paul** » April 3, 2006, 12:38 pm

Mudshark wrote: BTW...what is a four door Toyota pick-up truck worth in Thailand ???

Graham

Depending on spec. about 800,000 upwards

Post by **hellofriends** » April 7, 2006, 3:15 am

take a fat wallet and youre made
no , just joking

GF's Parents

GF's Parents

Hi Galee