very short lived marriage

[RALPHCUSENS]

Having read the last few post's I get the impression that Saint is either blinkere'd or not in the same thailand as the others.
Yes Saint i live in the Uk and yes there are a lot of divorce's at the moment but they are divorcing because of the struggle with rising unemployment and house reposestions.
I am a relative new member to the map but i would rather read post's that i can equate to like Izix's and not what the red, yellow, or blue ,shirts are upto.
Can you answear me a few basic question, like when you meet a thai girl why does she presume you will buy her gold, why when you go to dinner does she go for the most expensive dish , why does she want more than her freinds ie a better house a better car a better area to live away from the moo ban. In good old blighty yes you do want a nice home and a nice car but your not dragged off to the nearest gold shop because her friend have nice gold bought by her tilac and she does not. Are you getting my drift yet saint. In a nutshell thai woman are diff to western woman when it come's to basic comodities.

Let me if I may, reply to your above post, I can assure you that Saint is not blinkered, neither is he living in another Thailand than the others, so, your living in the UK, how long have you spent in Thailand, living full time in the community?

You admit that the divorce rate is on the up at this time in the UK, and you put that down to the present economic climate, the Thais have always had it hard!!!!

If you consider izzix's posts to be interesting, good for you, I can gain exactly the same information from a news paper, he very very rarely passes any comment on his cut & paste posts!!!

I will now give you my answers to the questions you posed, which were:

Why do Thai Ladies:

a. presume that you will buy them gold;;;; You are mixing with the wrong type!!!

b. Why do they always pick the most expensive things on the menu;;;; Answer as above!!!

c Why do they want a better house, car and live in a better area;;;; Answer as above!!!

Are you getting my drift yet vlad, in a nutshell, Thai women are the same as any women anywhere in the world, if you go to a junk yard, you will find junk, but even then, you can find a gem.

What piss$s me off is those posters that do nothing but slag off all Thai women, there are good and bad everywhere!!!

I will give you my personal situation,

Married to a teacher,

She owned her house before we met.

She has NEVER asked for Gold, other than a wedding ring.

Lives, and wishes to remain living in a Moo Ban.

She contributes nearly the same towards the household expenses as I do.


I am convinced, that if our marriage were to go bad, it would be of my doing, not hers!!!!

It is also my considered opinion, that the Thai women that are opportunist, are only that way because of the gullible farangs , that have set a bad precedence and that minority now expect the same.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (and the gullible) ------ A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED

[jackspratt]

Where have I suggested i sponser a backward girl from issan ?? I never said you have all been the victim to a scam i said some have, the backward issan girls i mentioned have better mobile phones and i-pods than i have so there not that backward are they jack. The top scammers are from issan fact. I will let you into a little secret jack i want a thai wife i dont want a european wife but like Ter says i will wait till i feel the time is right and not simply fall for the 1st one i meet. but i have a feeling i will be waiting a long time for that bus.

Good luck to you both, vlad.

[Laan Yaa Mo]

The stuff that Vlad is rattling on about to denigrate Thais, in particular Isaan women, is known as 'keeping up with the neighbours' in Canada and the United States.

Thus, if so-and-so on the block in Toronto gets a new tv or car you can rest assured that the nearby homes and driveways will be stocked with that item, or a superior one, within a month.

Yeah, I know there is a 'my farang is better than your farang' competition among some women married to farangs in Thailand (this is not exclusive to Isaan), and is partly driven, as some posters have noted, by the farangs who have the financial wherewithal to toss money around to buy the most expensive transportation, home, jewels et al. This is one reason it is usually a good idea to stay away from moo baans with many farangs married to Thai/Isaan women. The 'keeping up with the neighbours' syndrome kicks in with a great deal of seriousness in these areas.

The Saint, Khun Spratt, Ralph, BKKSTAN and quite a few others on Udonmap seem to understand the dynamics of the situation very well.

[beer monkey]

I will let you into a little secret jack i want a thai wife i dont want a european wife but like Ter says i will wait till i feel the time is right and not simply fall for the 1st one i meet. but i have a feeling i will be waiting a long time for that bus.

I would spend as much time in Thailand as possible Vlad, unless you are going the t'internet route, either way a good one will come along sooner than you think.

[RALPHCUSENS]

I will let you into a little secret jack i want a thai wife i dont want a european wife but like Ter says i will wait till i feel the time is right and not simply fall for the 1st one i meet. but i have a feeling i will be waiting a long time for that bus.

I would spend as much time in Thailand as possible Vlad, unless you are going the t'internet route, either way a good one will come along sooner than you think.

The only problem there for those with a preconceived idea that all Thai Ladies are scammers, is how will they be able to strike up a meaningful relationship, when they can't trust them

[rick]

Although still an amateur compared to most, i think Ralph has it about right. Also, just because a girl is from a bar, does not mean she will rip you off; but as she has already taken that route, she maybe more inclined to do so. Out of about 6 girls who i have known a bit in Udon (not necessarily bed partners, just have met and spent some time together), only 2 have ever asked for money/gold etc. in any way. Of the others, who never asked, 2 were off internet and 2 were bargirls. In fact, offers of no strings money have actually been declined sometimes (by a bargirl? yes!).

Yes, i am sure all were hoping for some benefit, long or short term. Get to know them first, decide if honest or not. So far cannot say i have met a totally evil one, they vary from totally honest to just a bit greedy. Still on good terms with all of them (I think). Of course, i have not loaded up the girls with gold, houses and lots of cash, so that temptation for them is not there. Just some modest meals, a little shopping, some a little gift. Act stupid, expect to be treated like an idiot. But i do find honesty goes a long way.

In Thailand, status often means money. That is why there can be a thirst for possessions. Find a woman whose ambitions do not exceed your willingness to pay!

With anything, any where, just be sensible, know the risks

[beer monkey]

I will let you into a little secret jack i want a thai wife i dont want a european wife but like Ter says i will wait till i feel the time is right and not simply fall for the 1st one i meet. but i have a feeling i will be waiting a long time for that bus.

I would spend as much time in Thailand as possible Vlad, unless you are going the t'internet route, either way a good one will come along sooner than you think.

The only problem there for those with a preconceived idea that all Thai Ladies are scammers, is how will they be able to strike up a meaningful relationship, when they can't trust them

True Ralph...but i am sure Vlad don't really think all Thai ladys are like that,..or at least i hope he don't..nahh i am sure he don't just the ones he has had experiance of, he has been burnt before so mistrust would have set in.....now how about everyone give Vlad a few tips on how to find the right one for him,I am a firm believer that there is someone for everyone, there is certainly enough to go round....some fall straight into your lap and some you got to do a bit of ground work.

[RALPHCUSENS]

As a follow on to my previous post,so vlad wants a Thai wife eh?

From a previous post of his!!


by vlad on May 30, 2009, 6:22 pm

I can be seriouse when i want to be and i dont look on thailand in a negative way jack but from what i have read on variouse sites and the people i have spoken too who have just returned from thailand it tells me that it has become a place to avoid like the plague i for 1 will not return.

going to be hard to get a Thai wife in the UK!!!!!!

[beer monkey]

[rick]

If i read the relationships column and nothing else i would have run a mile from any meaningful relationship with a Thai woman. I know some in Udon who stick to the pay4play formula and avoid emotional attachments and others who get their kicks from taking advantage of drunken students. Others just come for holiday 'romance'. There are also many complaints about the lies and dishonesty of thais and thai women.

But many are happily settled with partners so it is possible to successfully find a partner. Sure, some relationships will fail, as they do back in the west. By the sheer nature of the way we end up in thailand, most of us have had relationship problems before, we are probably not the most upstanding part of western society; many of us associate with the sector of Thai society who also have had problems (men or money). This is bound to make for more failures than we can expect from a ramdom sample of humanity.

I came to Udon expecting the hard sell, the scammers, carnage on the roads like the western front and many more ills. Some how i couldn't believe it was QUITE that bad; after all others lived in Udon. I was presently surprised, as a result. Just like newspapers, bad news makes good news, we do not get hundreds coming online to tell us that it is all fine.

At first, i spent my time mainly with farangs, but now go some days when i visit without talking to one. I know prejudice against falangs exists (hey, i have lived in Australia too, first time i was part of a persecuted minority), but have been treated well by many Thai, not just those with a service to sell me. I am happy enough to plan a future in Udon. Maybe i will get burned at some point, but i am confident enough that the LA principal (NEXT!) will help me get over it, as long as i do not put all my eggs in one basket. You have to take some risks, just make them ones you CAN AFFORD. The beauty of Udon is, you can afford quite a few mistakes.....

Being a poor, Nerdish sort of chap, relationships in Uk were few and far between; finding the right one took time. In Udon, much easier to find candidates, just choosing harder... I can put up with that problem! I have few illusions that relationships here start with 'can you support me?' component but love can exist too. Maybe i will be as cynical as many of you in 20 years, but better udon than a telly in the retirement flat on the sussex coast, wondering when winter will end and if the children will visit this month.

[Wisdom]

Rick, a telly on, in a lovely sussex coast retirement flat, all cosy in a crisp English winter day, kids coming over now and again, sounds idylic! You sold it mate, i'll stay in blighty. On the other hand, maybe be a bit cold if you stepped outside flat, and little or no sun, no money, afraid to go to NHS hospital and catch an infection, no lovely Thai girl to 'take care', in fact, no life at all really. I think if you are good to Thai partner and have chosen well, no problem retirement in Udon. I tend to side with the positive outlook posters on this subject. But we are all in control of our own destiny, and i don't normally make mistakes in my life, so all should go smoothly.

[BKKSTAN]

I think it is safe to say that most of us,living here, have found relationships that are relatively satisfying to satisfying!

The ''cynicism'' by some ,complained about, is usually reported by those that have experienced more negative experiences than positive or have just had a recent neg experience that is still causing emotional turmoil!Most are just general experience because of the high degree of mistakes made by those desirious of having a much younger and attractive mate which was not available to them elsewhere!

The truth and bottomline is,IMO,the cross cultural relationships between Falang and Thai women is presents many different challenges than both are used to!These challeging experiences should be noted ,understood and prepared for ,if one is seriously desirious of a possibility of success!

Assigning blame after the fact without taking responsibility for one's ignorance,denials and actions will do no good,better to be informed than ignorant,remembering that everybody is an individual personality and brings their personal issues to the table!

[saint]

can i just say as a final point from me on this subject . if you judge thai people or women by some of the negative posters on here or other forums , im affraid you will be missing the oppertunity of a posible great retirement . if however you read the posters who do understand the thai people , thier ways , customs , beliefs and aspirations , then you will get a much better perspective of this country and how you may fit into it . i say may , because quit honestly if you come to thailand and are not prepared to accept thai ways and adapt yourself , then you will always struggle . i dont agree with a lot of things thai by any means , but i accept them . its thier land and home . i will always be a guest here , fact . now , thai women , i personaly dont think thier aspirations are any differant from all women , they want security and to know that they will be not only provided for , but treated with fairness and respect . now if you are the sort of man that can manage that , you will meet a good one , you may have to sort the wheat from the chaff , but believe me there are several honest , loyal and loving thai women out there looking for what you have to offer . dispite what all the ,thier only money grabbers , posters tell you . there are several members on here i have met , and some i havent who do have great relationships , im sure thier the ones who realise what thailand is all about . so to all you wanna bes out there , do not give up on this land and its people just yet . do your homework , use your head , understand what you and your partner want and need from a relationship , and look for the right one , not just the first pretty face that smiles at you . but most importantly , come here with an open mind , not carrying baggage from your past !!!! and when you meet the one , be prepared for some work and adjustment on both parts . anything worth having in this life , is worth working for . if your prepared to do all that , then im sure im not the only one who will tell you that the benifits will be worth it . cuz a good thai wife , will be beyond your wildest dreams and expectations . thai women put compassion on an entiely differant level than most of you will ever have known !!!!!

[Ter]

Very well put Saint, Like you positive outlook.
I hope we can move on now ? [-o<

[papaguido]

can i just say as a final point from me on this subject . if you judge thai people or women by some of the negative posters on here or other forums , im affraid you will be missing the oppertunity of a posible great retirement . if however you read the posters who do understand the thai people , thier ways , customs , beliefs and aspirations , then you will get a much better perspective of this country and how you may fit into it . i say may , because quit honestly if you come to thailand and are not prepared to accept thai ways and adapt yourself , then you will always struggle . i dont agree with a lot of things thai by any means , but i accept them . its thier land and home . i will always be a guest here , fact . now , thai women , i personaly dont think thier aspirations are any differant from all women , they want security and to know that they will be not only provided for , but treated with fairness and respect . now if you are the sort of man that can manage that , you will meet a good one , you may have to sort the wheat from the chaff , but believe me there are several honest , loyal and loving thai women out there looking for what you have to offer . dispite what all the ,thier only money grabbers , posters tell you . there are several members on here i have met , and some i havent who do have great relationships , im sure thier the ones who realise what thailand is all about . so to all you wanna bes out there , do not give up on this land and its people just yet . do your homework , use your head , understand what you and your partner want and need from a relationship , and look for the right one , not just the first pretty face that smiles at you . but most importantly , come here with an open mind , not carrying baggage from your past !!!! and when you meet the one , be prepared for some work and adjustment on both parts . anything worth having in this life , is worth working for . if your prepared to do all that , then im sure im not the only one who will tell you that the benifits will be worth it . cuz a good thai wife , will be beyond your wildest dreams and expectations . thai women put compassion on an entiely differant level than most of you will ever have known !!!!!

Great post Doug =D> I concur with all of the above.

[beer monkey]

They had a big party and there was the usual transfer of wealth - ring, gold and cash from him to her and her family. They took their honeymoon in Phuket. She received a phone call in the hotel room and spoke in Thai. It was obvious to him that something was up. He went into the shower and when he came out she was gone. He searched for her and couldn't find her. He has not seen her since!

Wonder if he made the effort and travelled back to the 'Thai family' home where he got 'married'.....

[Irish Alan]

can i just say as a final point from me on this subject . if you judge thai people or women by some of the negative posters on here or other forums , im affraid you will be missing the oppertunity of a posible great retirement . if however you read the posters who do understand the thai people , thier ways , customs , beliefs and aspirations , then you will get a much better perspective of this country and how you may fit into it . i say may , because quit honestly if you come to thailand and are not prepared to accept thai ways and adapt yourself , then you will always struggle . i dont agree with a lot of things thai by any means , but i accept them . its thier land and home . i will always be a guest here , fact . now , thai women , i personaly dont think thier aspirations are any differant from all women , they want security and to know that they will be not only provided for , but treated with fairness and respect . now if you are the sort of man that can manage that , you will meet a good one , you may have to sort the wheat from the chaff , but believe me there are several honest , loyal and loving thai women out there looking for what you have to offer . dispite what all the ,thier only money grabbers , posters tell you . there are several members on here i have met , and some i havent who do have great relationships , im sure thier the ones who realise what thailand is all about . so to all you wanna bes out there , do not give up on this land and its people just yet . do your homework , use your head , understand what you and your partner want and need from a relationship , and look for the right one , not just the first pretty face that smiles at you . but most importantly , come here with an open mind , not carrying baggage from your past !!!! and when you meet the one , be prepared for some work and adjustment on both parts . anything worth having in this life , is worth working for . if your prepared to do all that , then im sure im not the only one who will tell you that the benifits will be worth it . cuz a good thai wife , will be beyond your wildest dreams and expectations . thai women put compassion on an entiely differant level than most of you will ever have known !!!!!

Excellent post... =D> =D> =D>

[seymourbutts]

Another small point i feel is relevent... Some posters have the view that they come here and choose a girl as if they were all just lined up waiting to be chosen, you know like when you were in school and you were waiting to be picked for the football team!!!! I definately believe that no matter what i think, the bottom line is i was chosen too!! My wife doesnt think she is the luckiest person in udon because a farang chose her, she actually thinks that SHE chose well, (i hope)!!!
Just a thought!!!

[DeNuit]

Well well... sounds like that to make the right choice of wife in Isan is as difficult than in Europe... but if you find the right one then you have a good life... will try it... never try never get he ?

[rick]

Seymour, have to agree. I have never really gone out to 'find' a girl in Udon - well only once and that was when i got the gold-digger. Usually i have enough 'interested parties' to get to know without me having to look for new ones. They find me and we take it from there. Now i even have a Thai friend (one that i trust) trying to set me up with a friend.