Dating site experiences... good or bad please do tell

[saint]

ive a question for you ash ...... i realize that your quite down on meeting someone on the internet , and also ladies that work the bar scene , but , how do you think a girl from some remote isaan village could stand any chance of meeting a farang if these two options were not open to her , and out of the two options , which do you think a self respecting isaan girl should take ? as i see it , many of these girls are not gold diggers , but just honest people , who may of had a bad experience with a thai guy , and have chosen to look for a better life with a man that they think would treat them fairly .

[rick]

Although I never responded to any that picked me first, there were some lookers that did strike first, and about 7 katoeys...jeeeeeeeeez......

Afraid they were out to con you? Personally, could never be bothered much with initiating contact, response rate was pretty low. Only success i had that way wanted P4P; after listening to the wish list (cash up front, new phone, motor bike payments, gold chain, and even house needs rebuilding!) I saw my bank account spiralling down to oblivion. Those bells were ringing and I walked first opportunity!

But If they contact you, half the battle won already, you just have to choose; time to throw a few emails around and size them up. And never asked for a penny by those women. it's all in the profile you do. Oh, and no katoey's.

[goonersh]

ive a question for you ash ...... i realize that your quite down on meeting someone on the internet , and also ladies that work the bar scene , .

Hey Saint, thats not strictly true...its just from my experiences Internet dating atttracts a lot of strange ones, as for the bar scene...obviously i have not got a great deal of experience in paying 1300 baht for a root all night but there are enough stories on here AND what i heard in samui from friends to allow me to form my opinion

but , how do you think a girl from some remote isaan village could stand any chance of meeting a farang if these two options were not open to her
.

Supermarket shopping in tescos or carrefour??? Going out for a drink with mates at a farang bar? I dunno mate really, I just think that selling yourself for sex in a bar is a bit of an extreme way to meet the man of your dreams.. well it is in Western countries anyway

and out of the two options , which do you think a self respecting isaan girl should take ? .

The internet of course!!!!

as i see it , many of these girls are not gold diggers , but just honest people , who may of had a bad experience with a thai guy , and have chosen to look for a better life with a man that they think would treat them fairly .

And of course i agree, Im not talking about it from their point of view,im talking about it from a western man living in a foriegn countries point of view....I have NOTHING AT ALL (its gotta be the tenth time) against girls selling sex for money, and if an Issan girl wants to meet a western man that way then of course they have every right too....but... from what i have heard from my mates in Samui once you start in one of these bars you change, become hard, and become a little cynical... and who could blame the girls for that...I saw some of the men they had to do things with, and i heard the attitude of some of the men as to how these girls should be treated and to be honest it disgusted me. good luck to ANY girl that wants a better life... but i think there are better ways to go about it personally]

One more point, do you get off by reading other peoples sexual exploits? If so, I feel very sorry for you! but, just may be that would account for your split personality

Erm, i dont think so matey... i do like a good story though... Tell me this Ralph, how many men DONT look at porn or erotic stuff on the internet....not many at all geezer.... then add one to the list... ME, i dont even watch pornos..i certailny dont look at porn websites, and i am not really interested in cyber sex at all.. ta

In your original post, you stated that a relationship from a dating site has a 1 in 0.0000001 chance of success, My wife and I thank you very much for the compliment, we must be very privileged as we must have a very special relationship, being only 1 in 10 million, who have a happy marriage

One in ten million makes you and your lovely missus VERY special.....congrats

I would like to know how you arrived at that %?

By typing a lot of 00000's from my PC keyboard and converting them to figures on a screen, then hiting the enter button

Is this the right Forum to record sexual exploits?

I think ive only mentioned actual sex once in my three stories and mentioned NO sex twice......so how does that work Fawny??? I dont see much sex in any of the other posts too... maybe you are a bit kinky and count shopping for phones, haircuts, clearing closet space, past lives, queen elizabeth the 1st and bursting into tears over a meal as erotic..... in fact i see lots of NO SEX in this thread and just lots of funny stories

[BKKSTAN]

I am thankful for the internet date site(I don't remember the name!After 2 trips to Thailand,I made a ''quick'' naive decision to retire early,move to Thailand and open a beach resturant/bar type of business.

The second trip opened my eyes a little bit, because one fella I met had been arrested(Koh Chang ,13 yrs. ago for working outside the parameters of his WP) and a longtime resident,a Canadian and his family had been evicted from there resort in one night!

I decided that I better slow down,spend some time investigating Thailand and the ''business'' environment!

I had never chatted with anyone on the internet before,but after tasting a little bit of ''honey'' on my last trip,I thought I might meet a ''nice'' English speaking Girl to guide ,interpret and travel with me ,to get a feel for Thailand and who knows,maybe a rerlationship if he was in the works,but not foremost in my mind !

I met a non-bar girl 27,university graduate,divorced,working P/T at Tops super market, living at home w/her son from a marriage while at the Uni!She had been a ''tour employee'' that directed games etc. at the hotels the tours traveled to on buses.So she knew her way around Thailand resort areas,plus she was attractive,quick minded and seemingly honest.Never asked for anything ever!we didn't have sex for 2 weeks and when we did,I was ''hooked''.Eventually invited by the family to move into their Bangkok home with her after our ''travels''!

I decided to forget the ''business'' idea,our relationship became the focus,she showed interest in learning about everything and an interest in America.We decided to apply for a ''fiancee visa'' for her to come to America and I went back to America,and back to work!14 months,no response from the US Immigration,two 30 day trips to Thailand,I decided to retire,sell up and move to Thailand to be with her!

After some cultural foul paws by me,some revelations about some minor deceptions(smoking) by her,some long distant arguments on the phone etc etc.,some more time together at the family home with a sense that we were not getting closer,but farther apart and then the finding out the ''big'' deception ,the bald faced lies about chatting online with other men,I found out that she was talking ''love'' with many men all over the World,with several trying to arrange visas for her at the time!Case closed,I moved out!

But ,while I was with her,we lived on Charansanitwong 85 with the shopping area being Saransanitwong 79 where my present wife,Supan, worked for her sister in small resturant that ''we'' ate at regularly that was directly across from my barbershop.I always liked her smile, friendly attitude and way she worked,but there was no flirtation involved !

After my breakup,I moved across Bangkok,but came back to the old neighborhood and my Supans workplace many times(after my ex fiancee had moved to Australia on a visa to marry a guy there),I found myself thinking about Supan alot and started visiting regularly(getting lots of haircuts across the street ),eventually,we went on a daytime boat trip outing for our first date,6 months later we were living together and another 6 months ,we decided to get married.The best thing that could have happened to me and if it had not been for the internet meeting of Aey,I would have never met and pursued Su,who was not easy to convince that she should date me

I must admit that I got very lucky on the net.I was able to screen out many girls before focusing on Aey!Probably because my first and foremost motive was not necessarily to find a G/F.If you talk long enough with them,the real character comes out and the ones looking to ''score'' financially will reveal themselves.Aeys goal was to get out of Thailand,but she didn't make that clear!

She liked to party,drink and smoke more than she claimed,wasn't able to be completely honest with me,played the net game trying to get out of Thailand and according to her friends afterwards,I was ''to old'' for her(to much of a stay at home guy ),but she signed a car back to me from her name and never once asked for money in the 2 1/2 years we knew each other!Sinsod was never discussed!other than the car,I volunteerly spent about 150K baht on some remodeling,appliances ,UBC and telephone lines to the house(all for my convenience),contributed about 10-15K towards the household monthly and our running around costs,probably the cheapest living that I ever did in Thailand,but it felt generous at the time and was seemingly appreciated by the family!

Bottomline,I think the net dating can be a good source for meeting a potential mate,if you use your big head,take your time and be as pointed as possible.If your ''little'' brain leads you around during or after meeting her in person,then you will probably lose your objectivity,needing to be very lucky indeed!

Obviously,I know about luck

[BobHelm]

Lovely story Stan, thanks for sharing that
Of course the point that springs to my mind is the lady you ended up with was not someone that you met in a "romantic" situation, but just someone you met in the course of every day life. The relationship developed because you both naturally liked each other & not because you were "pushed" together or attempted to rush towards a relationship.
Personally i have little against dating sites. If someone is single & wishes to expand the possibilities then they are probably a good idea. As long as you treat everyone with suspicion until you have had least physically met them.
I do have a couple of hang ups with them.
A number of people who are trying to make a financial living out of them (in a variety of ways) & posing as "clients"
And, as per Stans' tale, maybe the pressure is on just a little to much to turn it into a relationship instead of seeing what develops naturally.

[goonersh]

It seems there is a good balance of the scammers AND the genuine coming out here... you would have to wonder how many guys DO get fleeced online...

Congrats to anyone who has made it work online... keep the tales coming, great stuff and VERY good for people viewing this forum for the first time... to see balance in threads makes people come back for more

Bob, the last line of your last post is fantastic,

maybe the pressure is on just a little to much to turn it into a relationship instead of seeing what develops naturally.

The best plans are no plans, and the best relationships start out as no relationships, and no plans for one....I have always lived by this, even when meeting the kinky ones.... and i think its the reason i was able to bump into Kloi and why we get on so well. I was single for three years before we got together, and so was she.

I only went on holiday to see a mate in Samui... I could have gone at any time in the past 6 years... but i went then.....Me and Kloi met purely by chance.... I had been there one day, and she had been there two or three...I did not expect to meet the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. I did not expect her to end up being a nice person, i certainly did not expect quick sex from her... and yet, we are getting along and developing just fine considering our handicaps..

I think lots of internet daters are in a set frame of mind (even the females) with a checklist and a tick box to find someone to have a relationship even before they meet for the first time, and i do not believe this leads to happiness. IMO, this pretty much kills and "romance" "wooing" or even getting to know someone face to face as after 50 MSN's and lots of questions... what is there left to discover on that first date, or even the second or third....

[arjay]

Of course the point that springs to my mind is the lady you ended up with was not someone that you met in a "romantic" situation, but just someone you met in the course of every day life. The relationship developed because you both naturally liked each other & not because you were "pushed" together or attempted to rush towards a relationship.

Absolutely!

And that is how many people find their partners, a gradual coming together (sorry no pun intended) in a relatively normal/natural set of circumstances.

A friend of mine who did get heavily into the Internet dating game, came across all sorts of scenarios, where others were doing the managing, manipulating, posting etc on their behalf.

He met one girl (I went as chaperone ), who could speak no English, came with her (English speaking and farang knowledgeable) older sister, and her young child. She spent most of the time looking after her young child while the older sister did all the talking for her.

I left a short while later. However, I understand the next day he took the younger sister to Tesco to buy a few beers, en route to visiting the family in the outback. Whilst in Tesco she piled up the trolley with enough stuff to feed the greater family for several weeks. Even the young child was chucking in the odd item!! They then departed to the village, where he was understandably gratefully received.

I understand that later in the day, he departed and didn't look back.

Then it was back to the Internet dating site, onto the next one and a similar story.

[Moothon]

Also please remember, I didn't "date" her on the internet. I "met" her on the internet, exchanged preliminary ideals and ideas, future plans, specs of a preferable friend that could later become more, and then met at the Charoen complex for our first meeting or "date" if you will.

The term "internet dating" gives meeting someone on the internet a bad name. For me, it would be impossible to "date" someone on the net, as body language is more important than jabber.

Also please remember, it took over 2 months of whittling to even choose to meet her, as a friend first and then take it from there.

As someone posted on here, her moo ban is 12 kilometers from downtown Udon, and she only comes in for work. She is also a 4th generation Udonite, if there is such a word, so in her village, she is closely or distantly related to almost EVERYONE ha ha ha.

Kinda cut's down on the dating prospects. She also said that when she was attending the Radjapat in Udon, one of her friends got pregnant by her thai bf, a couple that everyone was jealous of that had been together for 4 years, they met in a bookstore, by the way.

She went through total hell with her family, as the guy skipped town at month 5 and ran away. All of her friends of course thought "shi*, what if it happened to me" so she remained single, and her family were pretty strict as well at that time.

The small internet shop near her family home is a "hang out" for everyone that lives near it because most everyone is related , AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, it has aircon, just like the Chareon complex, big c, tesco and the others, alot of thais as you know just come to stand and sit in the way of everyone and people watch in the aircon, and not buy anything.

That's why the other big shopping place, that are quiet and easy to get in and out of, can't remember the name offhand, there are 2 in Udon, has no aircon, to keep the freeloaders out.

In her village, there is no cheating, snake of a women who was a bargirl during the Vietnam war sitting in the internet shop writing for the local girls. Her, her family and most everyone I met in her village were good, hardworking, normal people, except the usual town drunk, drunk uncle,and few nutters.

That internet shop is their window to the outside world. She didn't join looking for "A" foreigner, she joined to look "AT" foreigners with her friends, and make comments on each one, just like we do.

Her parents think we met through a mutual friend that works at the Radjapat College in Udon. If I told them now, that we really met on the internet, they wouldn't care, because they like me.

BUT, If I disappeared, and left her crying, and they found out that we had met on the net, they would tell her "ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU KNOW EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS CRAZY! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?"

But if we had met at the bookshop, or Tesco, and then I dumped her, they would say "ARE YOU CRAZY? yOU SHOULD NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS! YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! HE COULD HAVE BEEN A KILLER OR SOMETHING!!" bla bla bla

So, there you go.......pick your poison.


Of course I strongly agree the internet is full of nut jobs and scheming people, men and women, and that you should never "date" someone on the internet, as you know body language when talking to someone is 80% of the conversation, and alot more if you don't speak the same language well.

[Moothon]

In her village, there is no cheating, snake of a women who was a bargirl during the Vietnam war sitting in the internet shop writing for the local girls. Her, her family and most everyone I met in her village were good, hardworking, normal people, except the usual town drunk, drunk uncle,and few nutters.

That internet shop is their window to the outside world. She didn't join looking for "A" foreigner, she joined to look "AT" foreigners with her friends, and make comments on each one, just like we do.

Her parents think we met through a mutual friend that works at the Radjapat College in Udon. If I told them now, that we really met on the internet, they wouldn't care, because they like me.

BUT, If I disappeared, and left her crying, and they found out that we had met on the net, they would tell her "ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU KNOW EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS CRAZY! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?"

But if we had met at the bookshop, or Tesco, and then I dumped her, they would say "ARE YOU CRAZY? yOU SHOULD NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS! YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! HE COULD HAVE BEEN A KILLER OR SOMETHING!!" bla bla bla

So, there you go.......pick your poison.

Of course I strongly agree the internet is full of nut jobs and scheming people, men and women, and that you should never "date" someone on the internet, as you know body language when talking to someone is 80% of the conversation, and alot more if you don't speak the same language well.

[Irish Alan]

but , how do you think a girl from some remote isaan village could stand any chance of meeting a farang if these two options were not open to her.

Supermarket shopping in tescos or carrefour??? Going out for a drink with mates at a farang bar? I dunno mate really, I just think that selling yourself for sex in a bar is a bit of an extreme way to meet the man of your dreams.. well it is in Western countries anyway.

So you think she should trawl a supermarket and if she sees a fahlang approach him with, "Were you come fwom?" Bear in mind knowledge of English in these parts can be pretty limited. As you may see from my previous thread I was approached on Friday night and I didn't want to know I just thought she was a nut job.

[goonersh]

but , how do you think a girl from some remote isaan village could stand any chance of meeting a farang if these two options were not open to her.

Supermarket shopping in tescos or carrefour??? Going out for a drink with mates at a farang bar? I dunno mate really, I just think that selling yourself for sex in a bar is a bit of an extreme way to meet the man of your dreams.. well it is in Western countries anyway.

So you think she should trawl a supermarket and if she sees a fahlang approach him with, "Were you come fwom?" Bear in mind knowledge of English in these parts can be pretty limited. As you may see from my previous thread I was approached on Friday night and I didn't want to know I just thought she was a nut job.

All over the world people meet others in supermarkets... I think if you read my question mark and then the subsaquent "i dont know" it outs your quote above into perspective.. and YES YES YES trawling the supermarkets is better than working as a prostitute in a bar... 100%... blimey, how could it even be compared!!!!

are you saying that being a prostitute is better than meeting someone whlst out shopping?

[Irish Alan]

A better way? Yes. Likely? No. Do you think the girls working in the bars of Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket want to be there?

[goonersh]

A better way? Yes. Likely? No. Do you think the girls working in the bars of Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket want to be there?

I dunno mate, do you know them all? it all depends on their own psyche i guess, and neither me or you can say they do or dont (as a collective)

[Irish Alan]

No... However I would say young women like young men the world over... End of. I am sure if you did a survey and asked, "Would you like a cosy office job from 9-5 with a good salary in your home province or would you like to continue living here sitting outside this bar as road-bait with that ear-splitting music behind and the best thing that can happen you for the day is that you might be ridden and given 20 quid." I think I would venture what the reply might be.

[goonersh]

good discussion but probably better for the other thread hey?

[laphanphon]

well it is in Western countries anyway

as mentioned many times, this is not the western world. i'm sure western world prostitutes, just guessing, are simply working and not looking for relationships, unless exclusive out call service catering to one worthy/affording their talents.

personally, if i was a cute younger gal, use your imagination, extreme imagination, and was going out for the weekend of fun, and some idiot wanted to finance my adventure, and even give me some pocket money for doing exactly what i had planned anyway, i don't think i would have a problem. if thinking and at the point of not partying and maybe being responsible, again, imagination is required, thinking of settling down, maybe one of these idiots might be a good find. better to fall in love with a rich person than a poor person. IMHO. sounds like a decent job and better prospect than the alternatives, but it's all relative.

had my share of adventures, though never got financed or able to advance to upper level income brackets do to female sponsoring in the states, though it would of been a nice option if available. so i can begrudge anyone for taking advantage of opportunities available them. as long as done with the proper intentions.

[seymourbutts]

No... However I would say young women like young men the world over... End of. I am sure if you did a survey and asked, "Would you like a cosy office job from 9-5 with a good salary in your home province or would you like to continue living here sitting outside this bar as road-bait with that ear-splitting music behind and the best thing that can happen you for the day is that you might be ridden and given 20 quid." I think I would venture what the reply might be.

i think most of them would prefer the bar than working for a livng!! I personally think its the easy way out to make money.. 99% of thai women who are struggling work hard for little money and sometimes dont see their offspring for months.. Sometimes holding down more than one job for peanuts basically, but a million percent better than flogging their ass. A good majority of the bar girls" in thailand are not actually thai!! a lot are agreed, but they represtent 0.02% of thai women who are traditionally shy and reserved and definatly not sexually orientated.

So how does a good thai girl get a farang?? i think its hard if they go looking for one by whatever means, tescos for instance , the farang there would tend to be married already... i think if they dont go looking but are receptive to the idea, who knows!! it worked for a lot of people on here, just by building up a rappor with a nice friendly girl.. Stan and LA are good examples of the right way to meet a thai girl...
I personally met my wife on an internet site, i met lots of them in bangkok and just weeded out the chaff, but after going through many meetings and dissapointments and meeting some some right little madams etc etc , i met pick and i just fell for her on the spot!! Weve not looked back since...and our baby (daniel) is due in october!!

Also and much more importantly i have never been happier than i am now .. And also that is why i like thai women!!! they make me happy!!

[Moothon]

Man, seymourbutts

I will agree there 100%. As I mentioned before, mine works in a bank, has a degree in Accounting, and earns only 9,800 baht a month, BEFORE taxes. And NO overtime paid, EVER.

Yes, she is one of the 17 Thai people in the whole country that actually DO pay tax......just kidding, but it's ALMOST that bad.....

Granted, she's only been there a year, but even the higher ups are on 13k to 20k a month.

I won't go into how those folks can afford to drive Merc Benz and live in a 6 mil baht home, but that's life in Thailand.

I asked her about meeting people, Thai and Expat, (possible dates) in stores and such. She said:

1. I can't speak enough English to have a conv.
2. I would never approach someone I don't know, thai or falang, and just start a conv., too shy and afraid.
3. I only go to stores to buy what I need.

So I asked, how would it ever be possible to meet anyone?

She said only if they met in the market in her villiage, AND THEY COULD SPEAK A LITTLE THAI, and asked her where to buy something or how much something costs and started a conv. with her because she would not start one first, be it thai or falang, and also, as I said before, she's related to most of the people in her moo ban, so knows everyone already.

Her village is about 12 kilometers out of Udon the road Y,s ...go right and it continues on, go left and it enters her villiage and about 300 meters inside is a evening market that hundreds go to each night (and PLENTY OF LOOKERS) to buy everything. Jeeeeeeeeez what a bunch of women.

[saint]

that was my point , as mr , butts and moothan confirmed , mostly thai girls are shy , part of thier charm i know , they dont shop at tescos , most dont drink as its frowned upon in the villages , but even if they did , they would never go to a bar , with friends or alone. most of thier villages are too far out of town anyway . so one of thier only chances of meeting a farang is on the internet . i dare say they have to weed through the chaff also , as i would imagine they meet some unsavoury sorts also . but if they didnt have this option , many would grow old lonely . it is thier only hope of true happiness in many cases . if not , it gives them hope at least .

[pompui]

so one of thier only chances of meeting a farang is on the internet . it is thier only hope of true happiness in many cases . if not , it gives them hope at least .

And they get the chance to get the handsome chaffs by posting a picture of themselves taken maybe 10 years ago before the leprosy had started to take effect.