Wordly Advice from Mrs. Mills

[Laan Yaa Mo]

Here is the quirky Mrs. Mills to liven everyone up, and to put a smile on our face. http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life ... 721562.ece

From The Sunday Times July 26, 2009

Mrs Mills: modern mannersMrs Mills



My friend and I have been speculating whether it is bad etiquette to bend over in the shower, even when you are in the privacy of your own bathroom. We have been trying to pick things up at different angles, but have been unsuccessful countless times. If so, what do we do if we drop the soap?

JM & LG, Gloucs

Far from being bad form, there are countless places where it is considered only good manners to touch your toes in the shower. Admittedly, most of these places are state penitentiaries in America, but as many of our social customs seem to start over there, I am sure it will catch on here, too.

SIGHTS OF SUMMER

Now that summer’s here, it’s lovely to see all the pretty ladies’ feet out in their sandals and flip-flops. It is distressing, however, to see ugly feet displayed in this way — with corns, hammer toes, cracked heels and other aesthetic afflictions. Is there a way of communicating politely, but assertively, to people that their hideous feet should be kept under wraps? A good guinea pig for your advice would be my mother-in-law, whose calloused feet resemble an eagle’s claws.

JT, Hampstead

It is a sign of a mature, civilised society that one does not draw attention to the afflictions of others. One must enlist the help of those who are not yet members of it — that is, small children, who can be guaranteed to point out the failings of others, and do so with impunity. They may need priming, and the offer of a Sherbet Fountain, but it is worth the effort, as anybody who has been asked, “Why do you have those clumps of hair in your nostrils?” will know.

OFFICE WALLFLOWER

I like this guy I work with, but have never managed to talk to him. He is very good-looking, and I haven't even said hello because I’m worried about embarrassing myself. I have worked with him for a year. What do you think would be the most appropriate thing to say, or should I just casually walk into him by accident?

KH, Bristol

“Walking into him” would probably constitute some form of assault and not convey the full depth of your feelings for him in the most eloquent way. Much better would be to start in a low-key way: “May I borrow your stapler?”, for example. Then move on to something along the lines of “Do you have any of those green paperclips? They’re my favourite”, which would give him the opportunity to open up the conversation. A couple of weeks of this work-related office banter, then you can say “Fancy a shag?” without taking him entirely by surprise.

WEIGHT TRAINING

Is it possible to wear a gold ring and a silver bracelet on the same hand, or is it better to wear one on the right and the other on the left?

HS, by e-mail

If you have the strength for it, then a ring and bracelet on the same hand should be fine. You could always take it slowly to begin with, perhaps just do it for an hour or so, until you have built up your stamina.


Send problems to: Mrs Mills, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1ST, or mrs.mills@sunday-times.co.uk. No correspondence can be entered into


Mrs Mills Solves All Your Problems is now in paperback (Mainstream £6.99). It can be ordered for £6.64, including p&p in the UK, from The Sunday Times Books First on 0845 271 2135 or at timesonline.co.uk/booksfirst

[beer monkey]

She was also a great Piano Player.