Ban PaKo, Kumphawapi

[Irishfella]

Hi there, This is my first post on the forum. I have said to my Thai friend I will go with her to her home village in March for some festival. She is from Ban Pako in Kumphawapi. Do any members know anything about this place?

I had planned on staying in Udon Thani city and driving to her village each day. But she put her foot down as she's knows there I will get drunk and butterfly. I have more or less settled on http://www.kphotel-udon.com/e_index.html Are there any alternatives?

Is there anything for a farang to do in the area? I do not mind so much as I am arriving a week before hand for some mongering in Pattaya first. But its always nice to sit and have atleast a look at some nice flesh in a bar.

I will also be hiring a car or jeep. Ive seen http://www.lekcarrentaludonthani.com/ on the forum. Any members experience of this company and are the rates competitive. I also see the offer a Sat Nav with the car. Will this have good enough coverage to point a direction-less moron like me in the right direction of not only Ban Pako but some the tourist sites?

Thanks very much for your replies

[Shado]

Welcome to the forum Irishfella. It sounds like you have scoped things out pretty well. My wife lived in Kumphawapi for a couple of years and she says KP Hotel is the best choice. I have rented cars from Lek and received first class service at reasonable prices. The Sat Nav should be pretty easy to figure out and could be very helpful.

Sorry, can't help you regarding things to do in Kumphawapi, but my guess it that if you are a farang looking for farang entertainment, your choices would be fairly limited. That's just an opinion, not having any actual experience. I'm sure someone on the fourm can give you better info in that area.

[maaka]

chello, kumphawapi is a wee bit of a drive to be making everyday from Udon to Ban Pa Ko.. moreso if there is grog, unfamiliar traffic rules, and a rental car involved boyo..maybe afew days in each place would be the go..plenty of westerners and bars in Udon, but not as big and willd as Pattaya thank god, and even smaller scale in Kumphawapi, and hell way smaller in Ban Pa ko..( a village would round off Ban Pa Ko correctly ). not much in kumphawapi except a lake, swamp and monkeys and a small city..

not sure what your main focus is here, whether you are arriving for a mere sex holiday, or coming to meet your future wife and family, and to enjoy the festival..if it is the latter, then can I suggest you forego the flesh mongering, and concentrate on the being thrown into a new culture, where you old behaviour, habits, preceptions, expectations and so forth, will be at complete odds with that which will greet you, and in many ways may offend her and her family..

she is taking you to meet her parents, which is a big thing on her part, and obviously she is of the mind that you two are is some kind of relationship, and also she is taking you to share with her family a special festive occassion in their culture. treat it as such..

[papaguido]

Is there anything for a farang to do in the area?

Hang out and feed the monkeys at the local park...

[pompui]

I had planned on staying in Udon Thani city and driving to her village each day. But she put her foot down as she's knows there I will get drunk and butterfly.
Is there anything for a farang to do in the area? I do not mind so much as I am arriving a week before hand for some mongering in Pattaya first. But its always nice to sit and have atleast a look at some nice flesh in a bar.


Thanks very much for your replies

Save on loads of cash from having to book a hotel and renting a car,just carry on mongering for your whole stay in Pattaya.
Sounds like she has already sussed you out as non trustworthy so wanting to get you to her village under her terms only

[Brian Davis]

not sure what your main focus is here, whether you are arriving for a mere sex holiday, or coming to meet your future wife and family, and to enjoy the festival..if it is the latter, then can I suggest you forego the flesh mongering, and concentrate on the being thrown into a new culture, where you old behaviour, habits, preceptions, expectations and so forth, will be at complete odds with that which will greet you, and in many ways may offend her and her family..

she is taking you to meet her parents, which is a big thing on her part, and obviously she is of the mind that you two are is some kind of relationship, and also she is taking you to share with her family a special festive occassion in their culture. treat it as such..

Well said, Maaka.

I've no wish to be rude, Irishfella, but messing about and having a serious relationship don't go together. Do one or the other. I don't know of your experience of Thailand, but it really is a different world in rural Issan to the Pattaya nightlife. IMO, it will take you some time before you have even a modest understanding of everything Thai. You could do worse than trawling through the many posts on relationships etc. just to get an idea of what you face. Let me say I came here to live with and marry a Thai girl in a farming village, whilst part of me remained in 'holiday mode' - and I learnt the hard way. It can be great here, but you have to be certain what you're looking for.

[Irishfella]

Thanks very much for your replies. I think some of you's are reading way to much into the situation. We are not it a future marriage relationship. I have known this girl for a few years and I count her as a dear friend. It is me who suggested we go to her home for she does not see her family very often. Simple As.


Thanks

[moley]

hi ya irishfella you have been given a golden oppertunity to experiance true thai family life. Yes pattaya etc.. is fantastic fun and trust me i have had my fair share of it but that is not thailand. My thai insight only happened when i travelled inland to ubon ratchathani and later udon thani where i met my now thai wife.I was very unsure and sceptical at first because of all the horror stories i had heard but my pra and family welcomed me with open arms and although i was taken aback at how poorly they lived i soon realised they were rich in family love loyalty and generousity. i learnt alot about my self to.PLEASE listen to everyone on UM because their wisdom and experiance is far greater than mine but if you are lucky enough to find a lady and family as great as mine you are in for a life changeing experiance good luck irishfella although you usually make your own iwish you well

[Wisdom]

Irishfella what a catch you are to a Thai girl. Knowing you get drunk and butterfly, it is very sad, that she still feels she needs to keep in with, such a 'waste of space' as you!

[jackspratt]

I reckon the Irish bloke has explained his situation very well, and his follow-up post fits in with what he says in the OP.

Time to take off the judgement glasses, and give him the information he requested - rather than gratuitous advice on the state of his morals. =D>

[Laan Yaa Mo]

It doesn't hurt to give him a bit of both Khun Spratt (information and moral advice). After all, we are all imperialists here.

[Wisdom]

My comments based on Irishfella's first post. When i posted, he had only posted once, and i followed Brian Davis's post. Then, now, his second post plus moley's post at 4.38pm are before mine!!! Based on Irishfella's SECOND post, i would not have written my 'protect the Thai girl' post at 11.31pm , so, i apologise Irishfella, and hope no other posts pop in between this one and any others that are made, before, after, or during this post, err, as it were!

[Brian Davis]

Yes, sorry Irishfella if I jumped to the wrong conclusions , but I hope you can understand why. I think it fair to say it would be quite rare for a farang to know a Thai lady closely whom he can truly refer to as a ‘dear friend’ , rather than a more personal relationship. I don’t wish to get the wrong end of the stick again, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your friend hopes it might be more than just a friendship, even if you don’t realise or wish that.

That said, I did know a good-hearted and very pretty girl from that area some years back. That, possibly as you suggest, was a very warm, but not intimate friendship. If your friendship is anything like mine was, you’re very lucky.

I did,therefore, spend a little time around Kumphawapi. If you’re hoping for a lot of nightlife, then forget it. But you may just find that trying to mix in with the locals, with your friend’s family and village life is quite an experience and rewarding in itself.

[Irishfella]

Men if I was leading this girl up the garden path and carrying on behind her back then i would deserve your criticism. She is a dear friend who to be honest should be living with her family. She is not at all street wise. Thankfully she works in a hotel where the staff and manager do not take advantage of her kind nature. Unfortunately this has not always been the case. And as usual it was a family member, her cousin, who was the worst offender. She wants to go home for 4 days and then I have said I will take her to a beach resort for a few days. I know AirAsia fly direct to Phuket. Is there flights to anywhere else? Phuket can be expensive and i will be in a tight budget for this trip

Many thanks for your replies.

[maaka]

I will stick to my previous statement, as this forum is to gather opinion.
I dont no whether Paddy and his friend are just mere friends, who met, live and work in Ireland, or are friends with benefits, or are mere penpals, however, the matter of a single thai woman, taking a whiteman home to meet and stay with her parents, is a rare thing.. Thai women I have had the pleasure to meet, would not let themselves be seen, especially by her family, to be alone with me, would not even enter my room.I had a chaperon everywhere...why because the honor of the girl and the family was culturally at stake.it is an area that needs to be tread careflly so that no one gets the wrong ideas.

Culture, anyones culture, is like an icebreg. 90% of it is hidden out of sight, and you couldnt get two poles farther apart that that of the independant, individual western mind frame , and the eastern collective communal mind frame..Paddy's western thinking is that it is a great idea to swing round to his friends parents place, because e wants her to see her parents because she hasnt seen them for awhile. Indeed he suggested it, and not her remember. This may seem all well and quite the norm if one was back in Ireland, but even then there are cultural differences shall I say between irish catholics and irish proddies.

However, in this case I am just trying like BD, to make Paddy alittle abit more culturally aware, because I believe that his friend already has let slip alittle cultural cue, by saying that he is not to stay in Udon, and whoop it up, but is to stay with her and her family, or nearby. I do not think she is worried one bit about him drinking and butterflying, if she already knows of it. I think she is more worried about what her family will think of her keeping company with a man that carries on such behaviour, should they find out..

it would not look good for her in front of her family to be seen keeping company with a single whiteman of this nature. she does not want the family to get the impression that she is some sort of bar girl type, so she is putting her foot down as Paddy perceives, so that Paddys normal behaviour will not surface while they are meeting the family.

To be invited to stay, and then to turn around and drive back to Udon everyday, is a cultural clanger to drop..would be alittle bit insulting to thier thai hospitality, and nature..perhaps to ramp things up even more, you maybe will be the first westerner her family will have entertained. it will mean alot to them, more than you could ever think, for their daughter to be bringing home a farang man friend...most thai women when they are looking for a friend, they mean boyfriend..

anyway Paddy, I am just trying to get thru to you that you will be moving into a totally different culture, where just being with a thai women, can have the family hearing wedding bells..indeed , because it was your idea, perhaps now your friends thinks you want to go the next step up the friendship ladder, by wanting to meet her parents

I think you need to set some strong boundries if there is nothing going on between you two..and when you are with her and the family, make sure in your actions, that you convey to the watching eyes of the family the status of your friendship...

if I were you I would go to kumphawapi and stay in a hotel, and visit them during the day, and I wouldnt even lay a finger on her in front of them..wouldnt even lend her my arm in a polite gesture when crossing the road, because all of that which may seem polite back home, can mean a whole lot different over here..

maybe you should divide your trip up, so that you have your Pattaya time, and your friends time, and where neither the twix shall meet..give up the udon bar scene idea, go stay with the family, soak up the culture and you will come away with a far better cultural experience, than the usual sex holiday bar girl waster holiday...

[Brian Davis]

Again, I agree with much of what Maaka says. I do think quite a bit depends how much your friend, the family and village have come in contact with farangs and understand (tolerate?) their different ways. There are still places here where the reaction to you might be like an alien from another planet (people gawping, children genuinely frightened etc). Others where locals are used to farang, some maybe living in the village or nearby. Kumphawapi is hardly a tourist area, but not remote either. So whilst it’s important you try to respect the different culture/traditions and avoid the definite no-no’s, some allowance will, I think, be made.
I’m trying to be tactful here! There is rather a contrast. You readily admit that you’re going to be messing about in Pattaya, yet asked to spend time with your ‘dear friend’ in quiet Issan, see her village/family and the like. I don’t think you’ve revealed how you came to know her. Whatever those circumstances, what I’m getting at is she very Thai and traditional or ‘westernised’ to some degree? That will, to some extent, govern how she can guide and understand you in meeting the very non-Pattaya atmosphere here, whilst also doing the correct thing in the eyes of those around her.

[maaka]

I will throw this into the mix just as an example...an amercian student shares a dormitory room with a Thai. They have similar routines and interests and get on well. Then after several weeks of living together the Thai abrughtly announces that he has applied for a transfer to another room. The american is surprised and upset and asks the Thai why he wants to move. The Thai is reluctant to speak but eventually says that he cant stand the Americans noisiness, loud stereo, late visitors and untidiness. The American is even more surprised, all this is new to him. ' Couldn't you have told me this sooner' he says ' maybe I could have done something about it'.

In this case, culture and custom interfered with communication. In their upbringing, Americans are encouraged to be active, assertive and open, and they expect the same in others. In their upbringing, Thais are encouraged to be passive and sensitive, and they expect the same of others. The Thai student expected the American to be sensitive to his feelings, the American expected the Thai to be upfront by saying what his feelings were. When neither behaved as he was expected too, the relationship broke down..

[Irishfella]

I will stick to my previous statement, as this forum is to gather opinion.
I dont no whether Paddy and his friend are just mere friends

The fact that you have called me Paddy throughout your post should give you an indication of what I will think of it.

[maaka]

no I havent a clue what you think of it unless you communicate...whale oil beef hooked your not upset I called you Paddy are ya now, and here I am descended from Conn of 100 battles, and the Kings of Tara. if there was anyone who could give you abit of guidance regarding an Irishman and his culture, and a Thai lady and her culture, and how each see each other, it was me, and thats why I pooked me nose in, tinking I would give you a helping hand..aw well Happy New Year anyway. may the road rise up to meet ya

[farangman]

Hi there!

My wife is from Pha Ko, so I know the place quite well. I can already tell you that there is very little to do in Pha Ko. So having a car will make your life easier. I have also rented from Lek and everything worked out fine. They can deliver the car to the airport. that is Nice!

KP-hotel is quite ok. stayed there many weeks. It's a bit expensive for what you get servicewise. Prices start from about 760 Baht/night if I recall correctly. I would recommend one of the cornerrooms where you have windows to two directions, about 1000B/night. Less claustrophobic after a week. I have also rented from Lek and everything worked out fine. Had a car for about a week. Delivered to the airport. Nice!

Nightlife in Pha Ko is pretty crappy. There is a karaoke bar in the hotel where I have had many good times. But if you are out to butterfly I can give you a warning. Pha Ko is a pretty small place and there is a good chance your friend will know some of the staff. One of my wifes friends work there. So what happens there will get out.

Then to the moral discussions... If your friend takes you to visit her parents. THAT IS A BIG DEAL. She is pretty much announcing that you are her future man. She may not know that you do not understand this which seems to be the case here. As it seems that you have no intension of having a longer relationsship with her I would advise you, for respect for your friend and her family, not to go there.

On the otherhand, if you will be a regular in Pha Ko, I'd love to have a beer or two with you some time!!