Having a falang ?

[old-timer]

Sometimes I think that a Thai wife or Girlfriend thinks they have some sort of trophy with having a falang, they do like showing off, especially the possessions we provide them. And then there is another side to the story, well educated and well fit, and financially secure thai ladies take a thai/falang relationship as a joke, quite simply because it is.

OT......

[MALC]

spot on

[Barstool]

Sometimes I think that a Thai wife or Girlfriend thinks they have some sort of trophy with having a falang, they do like showing off, especially the possessions we provide them. And then there is another side to the story, well educated and well fit, and financially secure thai ladies take a thai/falang relationship as a joke, quite simply because it is.

OT......

Depends how appealing is the Farang, OT

[old-timer]

Depends how appealing is the Farang, OT

OT's not as old or unfit as you think he is.

OT...well out on top...

[Barstool]

Meaning you're bald?

[old-timer]

Meaning you're bald?

hmmm, nope not bald or grey, i bet your bird is well unfit.

OT.....

[UdonExpat]

I think it's a bit like having a new puppy.

They're cute and cuddly, but the need to care for them, educate them, and clean up after them can become burdensome. Better to let them run free after the novelty wears off.

[trubrit]

Depends how appealing is the Farang, OT

Don't you mean appalling?

[nkstan]

Sometimes I think that a Thai wife or Girlfriend thinks they have some sort of trophy with having a falang, they do like showing off, especially the possessions we provide them. And then there is another side to the story, well educated and well fit, and financially secure thai ladies take a thai/falang relationship as a joke, quite simply because it is.

OT......

In many cases ,it might seem like a joke,but I doubt the falang in the relationship feels that way!

[Glyn]

While I agree with some of the OPs comments...

If your wife/girlfriend is materialistic, then she is not a nice person, so bin her, the chances are she is there for your money and the material things you provide. You know the signs, they brag to everyone non-stop and love wasting your money when in the village, thankfully they are not all this way inclined, and OT if you disagree with this statement, it merely means you haven't found one yet, but it doesn't mean they aren't out there.

As for a joke, you are absolutely correct, having a falang amongst HI-SO people (and even those that play at being HI-SO) is frowned upon, and the lady is looked on like muck. But many older and less athletic among you cannot know how this perception decreases as the age and stomach-line decreases on the falang that is holding her hand. On this last point you can only really comment if you have lived in both worlds here, ie you came thin and young and are now fat and old, if you have grown old (and fat) with your Thai lady, my heart goes out to her because she doesn't deserve the stigma that comes with being attached to you

[Glyn]

I forgot to ask - from your post OT, it sounds like you actually think all Thai/falang relationships are a joke.

1. Why do you think that
2. Why are you still here (that's not to imply there is know other reason to be in Thailand, but seems most of us long to share our lives with someone special, esp. as we hit our golden years, it seems you have given up on relationships here.

[old-timer]

I forgot to ask - from your post OT, it sounds like you actually think all Thai/falang relationships are a joke.

1. Why do you think that
2. Why are you still here (that's not to imply there is know other reason to be in Thailand, but seems most of us long to share our lives with someone special, esp. as we hit our golden years, it seems you have given up on relationships here.

Ok, lets start with No.1,
I do not think, I know that, any thai person will think of a thai/ falang relationship as a joke. Let me explain why. Nine times out of ten the issan thai bird is uneducated, she has worked in pattaya, and landed on some mug. Now, before you start, I found my wife twelve years ago in pattaya. We have had kids and have a fairly decent lifestyle, and she is within my age bracket, although I must admit she can be a bit of a handful at times.
lets move on to question no.2.
OT has been around UT a lot longer than you glyn, and have done everything possible to make my wife and kids life as good as I can, and has a well fit bird in three continents.

OT...

[pienmash]

We have a lot in common OT i too have had three well fit incontinent birds - things turned out sh*te. now i moved to Udon and became a sausage doctor things are looking up .

[Prenders88]

OT, I wonder if you read this essay written by a Thai bloke.

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersS ... er5917.htm

[old-timer]

OT, I wonder if you read this essay written by a Thai bloke.

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersS ... er5917.htm

nope, not even gonna take a look, stick the link up your gary glitter,

OT....

[Glyn]

OT I'm starting a collection for you so I can get you a big fat trophy, cos you've been around UT a lot longer than me (whippy doo), we've all lived somewhere.

You didn't actually answer my question, as I now know you are in a long term relationship, are you also saying that yours is a joke, good luck with that mate, after all your experience in Thailand (sorry I mean Udon) you would think you had learned by now, "if your relationship is a joke get the f*k out" I know I would.

In future don't compare yourself to me, because you don't know me, and if you're gonna make broad statements on open forum, expect to have to support that statement.

Unlike you OT I am very open on the forum and don't hide behind a silly name, and chuck abuse around with a silly wiggle (na-na-na-na-na) icon at the end of everything I say, WOT IS THAT ABOUT???

[Glyn]

Just read the article, eyes wide open is always a good approach in Thailand, to say "Not interested" could be like shooting yourself in the foot.

The Communication part was an eye opener, but yet one I had observed but never analysed. It's very true, they love to talk, it's non-stop when they get together, but when we try and get a good conversation going it's hard work. And it doesn't matter how long we've been here, we'll never really understand their simple lives, the fact is (and I've known this for a while) we are hard work for them, and very often they step into the relationship thinking their lives will be easier, only to find it's probably harder than going out and earning a decent living.

I think the article is quite racist, but then Thais are racist, not in the sense of hating other race but definitely preferring their own race.

One thing i will disagree with is list 3 where we (the white falang) are deliberately placed last. My understanding is the Thai lady rarely prefer other Asians over whites or even blacks. If they're gonna go the hard route and step outside their culture and language zone, most would rather a Beckham or Will Smith look-a-like.

But then tauthor comes back to the Thai man (no.5) with absolutely no prospects and puts him ahead of us. There was actually 4 catagories for Thai men, but it only talked about prospects, not about their womanising and lack of family loyalties (which is what put most of the girls in the Bars in the 1st place)

I'd like to think most young, handsome falang would fall around priority no.3/4 in the list. As positions 1 & 2 are for Thais with good-to-very good prospects, most of our TGs are already out of reach, not because of their lack of education but because of Thailand's class driven society, well up to them, they miss out on some really nice girls. As for lack of education, this is where many falang miss a brilliant opportunity, education is the best motivator, great for building self-esteem, and confidence, and with self-esteem comes morales (something a prostitute lacks) therefore it doesn't matter if your lady was a bargirl even she can change with education, so here's a list
Learn to drive a car
Take English classes
Go back to college and study (cooking, beauty, business)
Teach them to use your computer (but no games)
Take them to your homeland (even a long holiday) to learn a new culture, (when they see how our ladies behave they will want to be like them)
Teach them how to manage finances and budget, etc
If you have kids - Teach them how to be good mothers

I'm sure the list could go on, but that should keep you busy for a while.

[old-timer]

(whippy doo)(na-na-na-na-na)

You feeling alright ?

OT......

[rick]

Glyn,

Very good observation, I think your analysis is on the money. I have not got the thai experience in, but have lived in cross cultural relationships most of my adult life. I have been fortunate to have mainly met honest, what i would call 'lower middle class' (reasonable education, families have homes and land, but cash poor) girls - same as me i guess. In Thailand, these girls have usually had one of the reasons why they cannot find a 'perfect man' Age, looks, child, married before; but by no means at the bottom of the heap, just those who have decided to get a bit more real in their expectations. But i think they were all hoping for love, as well as security. I also get the feeling (not certain about this, just a growing impression) that a single girl, whose friends are now mainly married, finds that her circle of friends declines to family or friends of family - you do not visit your married friends much; as such, they are also feeling lonely. Their social standing means that they cannot just go out with anyone - he needs some redeeming feature! falangs are also not so worried about hurdles which a thai man with some prospects may put up to selecting a wife.

As far as bargirls go, many are nice people, but some are not; very few picked that profession by preference. Most are happy to find an escape route - perhaps too keen to do so. So on the Thai side we have those who are looking for a husband first and love second.

Unfortunately, many farang men are not exactly good husband material - in Thailand, we have more than out fair share of the dregs of society, here because of problems in their home country; the rest of us probably looking for a new start as well. That is why i think there are many problems in parnerships here - it is because we have many bad apples on both sides. but it is still possible for many to find good relationships - just needs more care and always a lot of work.

If all farang were immoral womanisers, bad manners and with no sense of honour, there would be liitle demand for marriage with us. i do feel also that newcomers are snapped up rapidly; is it because they are still naive or because the girls suspect that those who have been 'around' for a long time are those who are the worst prospects? The bargirls do best because they get first pick! Not because there are few other girls around! (In Udon, there are say, a couple of hundred bargirls? But hundreds or even thousands of girls on the internet sites alone)

[Glyn]

Just got to add my two-pence worth regarding internet-dating, many of whom you see on ID sites are already in the bars, ie. they are working many angles to get that man. But what makes me laugh is the naivety of the men who go in search of girls on the NET.
1. Most profiles are far from the truth, as are most of the men's (if just a little stretched)
2. Rarely are they written by the girl, but by an agent (every village has one - you know the one that's been around the block and speaks good english)
3. The emails and messages they send are rarely their own response but that of "the agent"
4. The agent's only ambition is for the falang to part with his hard-earned, they usually take 1/3 of any dowry or gains from the relationship.
For those that have dated in this way, how many have been asked for large dowries - anything over 20k(TB) is extortion (unless high class family and well educated). But I here of 300k to 3mTB (monkey man you can vouch for that one!).

These agents are ruthless they'll push the girl into anything, and they'll tell the falang anything. How many of you have met that girl for the first time at the AP and she has an interpreter and truck ready to whisk you away? That's the agent keeping an eye on his investment, they'll make a big fuss of you bring all the family, make you feel special (that's the idea) all staged by "the agent" who will by-the-way probably be introduced as father/brother, etc. (sometimes the truth - but they still want that money). That first test on you is when they say "We take you have food - know good restaurant" then take you to the most expensive place they know, and order excessive amounts of dishes, then watch your face as the bill comes, at this point it's very important you keep smiling. Please don't mis-understand me I'm sure there are many dates that haven't gone this way and are some happy marriages among us from Internet-dating. But it's probably 1-in-10 that end up that way - IDENTIFY THE AGENT AND BIN HIM/HER ASAP!!