Are Farangs 'sticky/stingy/tight/kee Neow.....?

[Bertie_Wooster]

When I met my gf she had a small beauty salon, worked 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day and was barely surviving. In really slow times she would ride in the back of a pickup for 18 hours to go pack fruit in the south for a couple of dollars a day. She would do this before asking me for help. I make twice in one day what she did in one month while running herself into the ground. I asked her to stop working so we could spend more time together and she could live with me in Canada in the summer. Since then she has never asked for more than what she needs and never any requests for money from the family until last week when her sister asked for a loan of 1000 baht until the end of the month as she was a little short. Last year this same sister lent us her new honda car for 2 weeks while we were in Udon and never asked for a single baht. I told my gf to give her 2000 and tell her I consider her my sister and she did not have to pay the money back as I was glad to help her. When my gf told her this she was in tears and very grateful. I have been with my gf for nearly 3 years now in case some of you think the bad news is yet to come. I just wanted to present another perspective on relationships between us farang and our Thai women. They are not all bad. p.s. My gf is very attractive and probably one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. She could have chosen the bar life and the bigger income but did not.

Sounds like you have linked up with a very nice and thoughtful family. I think that many people are envious...

Bertie_Wooster

[jai yen yen]

When I met my gf she had a small beauty salon, worked 7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day and was barely surviving. In really slow times she would ride in the back of a pickup for 18 hours to go pack fruit in the south for a couple of dollars a day. She would do this before asking me for help. I make twice in one day what she did in one month while running herself into the ground. I asked her to stop working so we could spend more time together and she could live with me in Canada in the summer. Since then she has never asked for more than what she needs and never any requests for money from the family until last week when her sister asked for a loan of 1000 baht until the end of the month as she was a little short. Last year this same sister lent us her new honda car for 2 weeks while we were in Udon and never asked for a single baht. I told my gf to give her 2000 and tell her I consider her my sister and she did not have to pay the money back as I was glad to help her. When my gf told her this she was in tears and very grateful. I have been with my gf for nearly 3 years now in case some of you think the bad news is yet to come. I just wanted to present another perspective on relationships between us farang and our Thai women. They are not all bad. p.s. My gf is very attractive and probably one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. She could have chosen the bar life and the bigger income but did not.

Sounds like you have linked up with a very nice and thoughtful family. I think that many people are envious...

Bertie_Wooster

Yes, I am very fortunate but I also think some people settle for less rather than wait to find a good partner. I have been going to Thailand for 6 years and have met more than a few women that would be nothing but trouble. Although the same can be said about women in Canada as well.

[Laan Yaa Mo]

Surely not in Toronto although your thesis might hold true for the rest of the country. 55555

[MALC]

nice to hear read a post like your;s ur a lucky man

[old-timer]

I would NEVER EVER buy a Thai lady a house here OR a business

OT bought both. IMO whatever makes them happy is worth it. And another thing, all the falangs that worry about there Thai WFB running off with something or other make me laugh.

OT.........

[johnty.]

jai yen yen, nice to hear a positive quote for once,i am in a similar position to yourself,i have a lovely Thai wife who treats me with as much respect as i give to her,we share everything 50/50 and i think i am a very lucky man,no demands from family, i have loaned my s/i/l(who has own business)10/20 thousand baht many times and always been paid back promptly,my mother in law cannot speak a word of English(vietnamese decent)but always asks my wife if i will come to say sawadee kap just to see that i am ok(cynics may think this is to check i am still breathing),my brother in laws have come around many times to help my wife and i and never wanted any payment. There are good people out there just as in any culture,known my wife now for nearly 6 years,been married for the last 4 and if it was all taken away tomorrow it would always be a positive in my mind........good luck in your life jyy,enjoy every moment...chok dee,johnty.

[trubrit]

jai yen yen, nice to hear a positive quote for once,i am in a similar position to yourself,i have a lovely Thai wife who treats me with as much respect as i give to her,we share everything 50/50 and i think i am a very lucky man,no demands from family, i have loaned my s/i/l(who has own business)10/20 thousand baht many times and always been paid back promptly,my mother in law cannot speak a word of English(vietnamese decent)but always asks my wife if i will come to say sawadee kap just to see that i am ok(cynics may think this is to check i am still breathing),my brother in laws have come around many times to help my wife and i and never wanted any payment. There are good people out there just as in any culture,known my wife now for nearly 6 years,been married for the last 4 and if it was all taken away tomorrow it would always be a positive in my mind........good luck in your life jyy,enjoy every moment...chok dee,johnty.

Nice posting Johnty . One of which I am sure many posters will associate with if they ignore the cynical views of others , who possibly through their own ignorance have experienced an other scenario .

[udonuk1]

Out of interest, why do you come to Thailand - surely it can't be for the exploitative, leeching, greedy women? Must be for the weather, the temples and the food. :-"

To answer the question above, same as MOST others , I guess, firstly because it is cheap and , yes, secondly to look for nice lady. It has been a good lesson in learning about the female !

And also, Well, this is entertaining thread, too early to die ?

It is great to hear stories of sincere Thai ladies, it just doesn't tie in with my personal experiences, did you look for long time before you found these ladies ? For me they are like the Holy Grail, never to be found. My personal experiences are that as soon as your funds would run low, Thai lady lay low too. ALL Thai ladies

A typical scenario, is that you get on bus for long time, they meet you at bus station, with 4 mates, you have to immediately take them ALL to restaurant, they order the most expensive dish. Sometimes they say, "Ah best to buy takeout", then you have to buy half the street dinner too. These women sometimes get quite reasonable salaries, maybe half ours, but will they NEVER pay for anything.

Several times the date, has a boyfriend living with her already, "this is brother, he stay with us , he no have job" (he no need job stupid falang sponsor pay for him too).
Next day we go to local beauty spot in minivan. full of neighbours, i have to rent car from uncle, maybe pay for salary, "normally driver (s)he go to work today, if you pay him/her, then ... ok".
After paying entry and lunch for the minivan throng, you must fill up the tank with petrol. The brother (boyfriend) is in minivan too. She then takes you to BigC or Tesco on the way back, to buy shopping, ..... for a week, there are 8 trolleys' full of groceries, "can i buy this translator computer, so i can translate your sweet words ?".

Sometimes she stays the night with you, she says "i not like ladies in Udon, sleeping with you for money", but of course in the morning, she say, "ah i need buy more groceries, darling".
She says, "i will be your wife for 25k baht a month" ! You then get the impression that many many other farangs have been conned by this woman and her grasping entourage. One lady had 3 sons , all living at home, and the "brother". NONE of the sons worked, WOULD work. There was a talat jem around the corner, i said, "why can boys not have stall in talat to earn some cash ?, lady laughed !

After spending 1000s and 1000s on them all, they do not even bring wallets with them, you can still hear the words "Key Niao"

But it MEN's behaviour that encourages women to be like this too really, is my conclusion. Men must learn to do things for themselves, stop relying on these entitlment princesses !

[old-timer]

It is great to hear stories of sincere Thai ladies, it just doesn't tie in with my personal experiences,

There is a hospital in Bangkok where you can get your penis extended.

OT..........

[udonuk1]

nah then Thai ladies would DEFINITELY say farang TOO tight

[KHONDAHM]

I'll throw my song-stang in:

I lived in LOS doing the single thing for 2-3 years hoping to find that "holy grail" TGF who would make a good wife. Lost count, but damn there were a LOT. All of them phony, rotten, or scandalous. It was like living a seedy, and sometimes shady movie script most times. Then I got fed up, left for a bit, came back to say my goodbyes to all the friends/associates I met over the years when BAM! - at a mutual friend's birthday party, I met my wife. We asked around about each other and all seemed ok, so we both just let things happen and here we are now married almost 6 years with two awesomely wonderful children. We could not be happier.

She's more frugal than even I am. She buys all her clothes 2nd hand at the night markets, never wears jewelry unless we are in the village (a sort of a "how ya like me now?"/middle finger thing), manages the household budget and keeps a log of every THB 100 or more expenditure, etc., etc. I trust her completely and she is my best friend. Even when my lifelong best friends seem shaky, she's got my back.

We tried living in the USA for a couple of years, and she was willing to stay, but I figured "Damn, if she is willing to give up everything for me, I would rather give up everything for her". So, we moved back to LOS permanently a couple of years ago. I repeat and would shout from the mountaintop: we could not be happier. I am living my dreams.

Back on topic, I also have to admit that cost of living (and what I anticipate will happen to the dollar in the near future) is another reason for us returning. Hell yes; I am frugal. We four (five if including my 16 yo niece who stays with us) can all eat a hearty meal at a good restaurant for the price of two TV dinners back in the USA. I can have repairs done to our 2nd hand SUV for a fraction of what I would pay in the USA where it cost me $1,600 to fix a broken taillight (#$%@!). The best family medical coverage plan for a year here for all of us costs 1/2 what it would cost for a single month's premium in the USA. I can give a US ~$1.50 (THB 50) tip here, make the waitress ecstatic, and feel like a big shot whereas a waitress in the USA would probably hurl a plate at my head. I can get an hour massage for the price of a bottle of aspirin in the USA.

So, yes. I am khee neow and damn proud of it. I would venture to say that ALL of us living here are whether we are in denial or not.

[arjay]

Udonuk1, I know of the scenario you describe. I have a friend who has been through that a few times, - meeting the GF (originally through the Internet) at a local hotel, taking her and her chaperone for dinner, and then the next morning heading off to meet the greater family, via Tesco where they bought up a weeks supplies for the whole village. It seems to be a well established practice, something of a "cottage industry"!! The point is he and some people never seem to learn.

Khondam, nice to hear yet another happy and positive story.

I too, after many years of searching, have now found a good one. One who is genuine, honest and sincere and shows responsibility in what we spend money on, and who I believe really loves me, as I do her.

Finding the right partner, particularly in a foreign country and here in LOS can involve a very long and very disappointing journey. I think a significant factor is where people look for their "holy grail" (ideal partner). As a general rule, if one looks in the wrong places, one finds the wrong type of people. Also, far too many foreigners and seem to jump straight in with both feet, without taking time to properly get to know their new partner slowly and carefully.

I'm glad some of us have been successful.

I think Thais use the phrase "kee niow" to make us feel guilty about being (sensibly) frugal, and in support of their attempts to extract money from us, have us pay over the odds, or simply overcharge us. Why do I see so many of them eating at the roadside just as frugally? Or staff in a restaurant, bringing food in to eat themselves that they have bought from outside?

[JR]

Out of interest, why do you come to Thailand - surely it can't be for the exploitative, leeching, greedy women? Must be for the weather, the temples and the food. :-"

To answer the question above, same as MOST others , I guess, firstly because it is cheap and , yes, secondly to look for nice lady. It has been a good lesson in learning about the female !

And also, Well, this is entertaining thread, too early to die ?

It is great to hear stories of sincere Thai ladies, it just doesn't tie in with my personal experiences, did you look for long time before you found these ladies ? For me they are like the Holy Grail, never to be found. My personal experiences are that as soon as your funds would run low, Thai lady lay low too. ALL Thai ladies

A typical scenario, is that you get on bus for long time, they meet you at bus station, with 4 mates, you have to immediately take them ALL to restaurant, they order the most expensive dish. Sometimes they say, "Ah best to buy takeout", then you have to buy half the street dinner too. These women sometimes get quite reasonable salaries, maybe half ours, but will they NEVER pay for anything.

Several times the date, has a boyfriend living with her already, "this is brother, he stay with us , he no have job" (he no need job stupid falang sponsor pay for him too).
Next day we go to local beauty spot in minivan. full of neighbours, i have to rent car from uncle, maybe pay for salary, "normally driver (s)he go to work today, if you pay him/her, then ... ok".
After paying entry and lunch for the minivan throng, you must fill up the tank with petrol. The brother (boyfriend) is in minivan too. She then takes you to BigC or Tesco on the way back, to buy shopping, ..... for a week, there are 8 trolleys' full of groceries, "can i buy this translator computer, so i can translate your sweet words ?".

Sometimes she stays the night with you, she says "i not like ladies in Udon, sleeping with you for money", but of course in the morning, she say, "ah i need buy more groceries, darling".
She says, "i will be your wife for 25k baht a month" ! You then get the impression that many many other farangs have been conned by this woman and her grasping entourage. One lady had 3 sons , all living at home, and the "brother". NONE of the sons worked, WOULD work. There was a talat jem around the corner, i said, "why can boys not have stall in talat to earn some cash ?, lady laughed !

After spending 1000s and 1000s on them all, they do not even bring wallets with them, you can still hear the words "Key Niao"

But it MEN's behaviour that encourages women to be like this too really, is my conclusion. Men must learn to do things for themselves, stop relying on these entitlment princesses !

Ok, variations of the buffalo stories but true nonetheless. BUT in all this it is your money, you are paying and as such YOU decide what you want to pay for! Not the lady, not her friends, not the family. That trick to bring a few friends to the first meal is classic. Thai girls like to bring friends to your first meeting as a security. That does not mean you have to pay for them. The same happened to me once. I met a girl, not for the first time, and she had two friends as company. We went to eat and the two friends and the girl took what was most expensive on the menue. When it was time for checkbin, I said two checkbins please. I pay for the two us, the girls pay for themselves. Of course they did not have the money for that. Big loss of face. But I thought it quite fun. Well, I did not see the girl again.

[WBU ALUM]

Great story, JR! =D>

I must admit that I was a victim to the "Tesco Lotus Village Hustle" once and to the "Everyone Gets To Come To Dinner Hustle" twice. Small price to pay for tuition at Water Buffalo University. The other red flags popped up quickly and only once after those events. They were easy to spot, and I gleefully wished the gold-digging ladies "Choke Dee!" and farewell. I'm sure they're still hustling somewhere. Their methods weren't too intelligent or crafty.

As with some of the good luck stories on here, I was lucky to find a good lady who pinches the pennies better than I did and has the same value system when it comes to hard work, education and finances. I'm a lucky man.

[old-timer]

Nice to hear that the last page of posters have genuine diamond Thai Wives. OT's thai wife is a bit of a handful at times and spends money like water, however that does not make our relationship any worse than having a perfectly well behaved wife who likes to hold on to the odd baht. No two relationships are the same although you guys seem to be painting this pretty picture of the best thai wives being kee neow. I quite like my mrs letting her hair down and treating herself to whatever we can afford - I doubt if I could live with a wife whos a boring f@rt. Anyway, everyone to their own I suppose.
OT....

[JR]

Nice to hear that the last page of posters have genuine diamond Thai Wives. OT's thai wife is a bit of a handful at times and spends money like water, however that does not make our relationship any worse than having a perfectly well behaved wife who likes to hold on to the odd baht. No two relationships are the same although you guys seem to be painting this pretty picture of the best thai wives being kee neow. I quite like my mrs letting her hair down and treating herself to whatever we can afford - I doubt if I could live with a wife whos a boring f@rt. Anyway, everyone to their own I suppose.
OT....

So you are saying that a wife who has our economy in control is a boring f@rt? Man you have a really weird sense for reality. Not to mention common sense.

[old-timer]

So you are saying that a wife who has our economy in control is a boring f@rt?

No, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that a wife does not need to be kee neow to be a good wife, especially if there is no need for it because you can easily afford a better lifestyle. My wife has never controlled my "economy", she just goes ahead and spends it.

OT.............

[jai yen yen]

The other day my tgf asked her 9 year old son if he would like to go out for dinner. He asked how much it would cost. She told him and he said that was too much, better to go to market and cook at home. A few days later they were in the mall and she asked him if he would like to see a movie, again he asked how much to see a movie. She told him and he said, better we buy a dvd and save money than we can watch it many times at home. Some of you might not believe this but I assure you it is true. This is how my gf has taught her son who also happens to be a great kid who is very respectful and polite. I am very happy with both of them and could not ask for more.

[old-timer]

The other day my tgf asked her 9 year old son if he would like to go out for dinner. He asked how much it would cost. She told him and he said that was too much, better to go to market and cook at home. A few days later they were in the mall and she asked him if he would like to see a movie, again he asked how much to see a movie. She told him and he said, better we buy a dvd and save money than we can watch it many times at home. Some of you might not believe this but I assure you it is true. This is how my gf has taught her son who also happens to be a great kid who is very respectful and polite. I am very happy with both of them and could not ask for more.

Forgive me, but I do not see how your wife and son, who by the sounds of things are great, are any better than a wife who buys whatever she wants and kids that will enjoy a day out at the movies rather than worry about the money.
You have lost me on this one. Personally speaking, I would encourage any one of my three sons to go to the movies rather than sit around the house. Also, my boys enjoy eating at sizzler or KFC or Mcdonalds or duck noodle at the place opposite wing 23 at midnight, rather than eat the cr@p sold in the rat infested market.

OT......

[jai yen yen]

The other day my tgf asked her 9 year old son if he would like to go out for dinner. He asked how much it would cost. She told him and he said that was too much, better to go to market and cook at home. A few days later they were in the mall and she asked him if he would like to see a movie, again he asked how much to see a movie. She told him and he said, better we buy a dvd and save money than we can watch it many times at home. Some of you might not believe this but I assure you it is true. This is how my gf has taught her son who also happens to be a great kid who is very respectful and polite. I am very happy with both of them and could not ask for more.

Forgive me, but I do not see how your wife and son, who by the sounds of things are great, are any better than a wife who buys whatever she wants and kids that will enjoy a day out at the movies rather than worry about the money.
You have lost me on this one. Personally speaking, I would encourage any one of my three sons to go to the movies rather than sit around the house. Also, my boys enjoy eating at sizzler or KFC or Mcdonalds or duck noodle at the place opposite wing 23 at midnight, rather than eat the cr@p sold in the rat infested market.

OT......

I agree with you, I am in Canada now and this happened while I was away. If I was there I would have said for sure lets go to the movies or go to dinner and ice cream at swensons after. My point was that my gf and family are very considerate and do not take advantage like so many people have expressed on this forum. I just want people to know that not all Thais are only after our money and are good decent people. It would be sad if all we heard was the negative stories and allow people to believe that this was all there was to Thailand and the Thai people.