Sin Sodt issue

[Prenders88]

Mash wrote...
HAVENT WE BEEN HERE B4 PRENDERS ???

I haven't, but I know of a few who had been there, and re been retired hurt with a bouncer straight in the goolies.

Another red light on the scam radar should be the age gap.

Unless your a multi millionaire, it would not happen in the UK.
At 60 in the UK you become an invisible man, the ordinary bloke having no chance whatsoever of getting his trousers down in the presence of a 28 year old women, for free.

[Jello]

her cousin married an American and he was happy to pay 1,000,000

I'd ask for this guy's phone number.

[Banjo]

A fool and their money are soon parted

I can't remember who said it ... but it's the reality of life!

Simon .... for God's sake don't be a fool.

[semperfiguy]

The Bible says that if one is delinquent in small matters then they'll be delinquent in greater and more important matters. That is the total opposite of human thought. We have a tendency to overlook the small inconsistancies in one's character because we're looking for the larger faults to assess whether one is trustworthy or not. Remember...bad character is progressive, and it first shows itself with failure in small things. I see a freight train up ahead!

[Texpat]

Just give 'er the money a be happy.
You only go 'round once in life.

And geeze, it's only money, right? You can't put a price on true love.

[old-timer]

OT saw the subject for this thread and fell off the back of his chair with laughter. I've not read what the OP had to say or any of other posters comments, but I will say this: give the WFB whatever she wants, and give her family double what they are asking for. That should sort things out. And they will be annoyed with themselves whilst you are laughing.

OT.........merry christmas.......

[Texpat]

Agree OT -- make 'em wish they had demanded more.

[hangsaboot]

I mean pay that much and she walk out as soon as the house is build back to the BF she said could not even support himself and dumped for me, not to mention she told me she did not have initially till I found images of them in Hi5, and some chats while were together claiming he was just a friend now.

now they only,
FRKING GOOD FRIENDS .

pay up , maybe you cheap charlie ??.

[Simon-Wat]

I called her today and asked what the outcome was of the discussion on the sin sort with her father as he wants 1000000 down and return 500000 to me after wedding.
I thought I would play along with this a bit so see where it was going. The bells are really ringing here, so I though let’s tug a bit more.
I told her that papa wants 1 Mill as her cousin got and asked for the cousins number so I could chat to him about all the details. She said they were in Thailand now and she did not have the phone number.
I said, I know her papa wants more as he had said and that maybe he would be happy if she could get a man that could pay more than I could and she was free to find another as I know how important the family is to her.
She replied that she was happy if I did a as papa said pay the 1 Mill and he will give back 500000 as he will accept the 500000 sin sod and she was happy to and if in future we can help the family.
I asked about the wedding reception, she said I should pay the 100000 and it will be in the village, no hotel as that would cost far more and she wants us to save money. The gifts she said from the guests will be small as the people they are poor, and when given that would go to the family and maybe they might give us back some but it won’t be much. She wants a ring B40000 and I expect as normal some gold will have to be shown.
What a situation, she seems to love me but so happy for me to part with that sort of money and still expect me to build a house on her fathers land.
A loose loose situation for me.

So that is the situation now.
I have been supporting her these last few months and feel I am now being taken for more that a ride. With her telling me she is a good lady and will stay with me forever and take good care of me that is why the sin sod is what it is.
I wonder if she will stay with me when my money if finished after paying that sort of dowry?
Anyway she is to meet me in BKK January and buy the 40000 ring for the wedding, then on to her town for a few days to marry.

I feel at this point, to meet her as arranged in BKK spend some time with her in the hotel their and break the news after having my way whit her (as I have paid enough in support to date) and then breaking the news that my family are not happy for me to pay such a ridicules sum and see where it goes from there.
If a smaller sum cannot be accepted buy her parents, then I will walk out the door.
I don’t feel I want to tell her now that I am not going to pay the 500,000; I want to spend some time with her in BKK as we have been apart some 6 months now and distant relationships are hard.
If after that if she really loves me and wants to be with me she will do something. However if she cannot come to a reasonable amount of sin sod then I will walk out on my terms. Walk out now I loose all I have given her with out even getting my leg over.
Give her a good few days in BKK hotel and then give her the news.
No way am I paying that sort of money, what is she thinking to even be happy that I should pay it? Oh she was happy to talk to me on the phone today for an hour at my expense when she could have easily opened skype not even mentioning to me the cost of the call.
One other strange thing she has no mic on her computer, has a cam but she has to type and I talk, for the last 4 months. She could easily get it fixed I have sent her money but no still no sound, any clues as to why. I asked her many time about this, she said don’t worry we can chat when I get there, but easily spends 2000 baht to have the new phone I sent her converted to Thai language.

Oh greedy can they get

[Simon-Wat]

You haven't mentioned her age or if she has been married before....it may be a factor.
My two Bahts worth ......
My wife was divorced 4yrs before I met her, (shes 42 Im 57) Sin Sodt was never mentioned by her or her family, the familys only wish was that I take care of her.
We married at the Amphur, just ourselves, no party (or as she explained) you pay a lot of money for all the food and drink and everyone in the village will be happy for one day, then they wont remember your name.
She works (owns a small bar) so contributes to the household costs, we don't send monthly cash to the family but help out when the need arises, I guess I can consider myself fortunate but I also know of many who have 'lost the lot'.
...so your situation
It seems the family are only interested in large sums and sees you as the cash cow, why would money in the fathers pocket ensure you can take care of their daughter, as already said, you could take a lot better care with the cash in yours!....
There are ways around this as previously stated..
Please; for your own sake and that of your finances...read all you can on the subject and proceed with extreme caution and only then after working things out in your head, your heart is already taken and should be excluded when it comes to dealing with such large sums of money. If the love is genuine there is no need to rush..take as long as it takes and dont be pressured into making decisions that could break you...live together for a while get the lay of the land and if you do decide to take things further do it on your terms.

28 no never married

[Bandung_Dero]

Oh greedy can they get

Well done, there are truck loads of beautiful Thai ladies in Isaan and else where with as equally friendly families. Give her the arse and continue "Shopping"! =D>

[Tafia]

28 no never married

Theres quite an age difference and the cash she is talking about is far too much it would set you up for some time.
There seems to be a lot of inconsistencies creeping in...not knowing cousins number, no mic etc etc... too many for my liking, and where is she saving money????
The ring (plain gold band cost me just over 5,000 Baht) I'm sorry to say but this lady sounds like "High Maintenance"
Be wary of building on the family land...remember you cannot own land here.
You seem to have spent little time together since meeting and getting to know her, you know the saying...............
Marry in Haste etc etc........I certainly wouldnt be rushing into anything and would not consider marrying on your next visit.
For me the cost is too high, we love with our hearts not our wallets. and remember the 'village wedding' is just a ceremony you will still need to marry at the Amphur Office for it to be recognised as legal. The 100,000 cost is for the village to eat and drink at your expense.
A good book worth reading and for the lady to read too is 'Thailand Fever' the book explains customs, cultures and the wants and needs of each others ways its written in Thai and English (same book)
Its your life and your cash, but you did ask for opinions, Please consider them carefully before jumping in with both feet.

[Tafia]

Oh greedy can they get

Well done, there are truck loads of beautiful Thai ladies in Isaan and else where with as equally friendly families. Give her the arse and continue "Shopping"! =D>

In total agreement =D> =D> =D>

[kopkei]

28 never married , as you know in thailand they marry traditional, not official , i call it voodoo marriage, this is the easiest way to frame farang( and others) in to stealing your money and kick you easy out later.....
no children???, did you ask her about that, i think when you will know the truth you will get a big surprise,
what about the true love , does she love you , or does she love your money, i think after all the comments given all ready bells should be ringing inside your head you would have headache all your live( surely after she steals (all ) your money..)
if i was in your situation i would have bailed out at the first request of outrages sums of money, better take your time to look for somebody else as there are many choices, ( but as you know now , also many bad one ) so my advice to you is move on with your live while you still have money , don't even bother looking her up and make the situation more complicated ( meeting her , not following her( family) demands , making everybody angry etc....)
this is for me classic story of farang being conned ,as you must know internet is the best money business for many thai lady's, i know myself many ladies whom are receiving money from 3 or more farangs like this, poor fellows or should i say idiots....
any way i wish you good luck , use your common sense and i hope you will not become one idiot more.... ( to many all ready)

[trubrit]

Simon . I am sorry if my previous post seems a little light hearted but having read your post I assumed you were joking or trolling , so answered in a similar manner .If however you are asking a serious question may I suggest you look at the similarities between your situation and buying a car .First 2.5mill. You can buy a really upmarket sedan for that , even your lower figure of 1/2 million will get you a modest saloon . In both cases they will be brand new, no previous owners and without any mileage. Now if your looking at a 28year old model, no service history, god knows how many miles on the clock. How much is that worth? Think about it chum . Okay if you want secondhand there are many reputable dealers out there and you can get a bargain, but of course you must spend some time looking around .Thats what I think you are being told by the members .Good luck.

[semperfiguy]

"I feel at this point, to meet her as arranged in BKK spend some time with her in the hotel their and break the news after having my way whit her (as I have paid enough in support to date) and then breaking the news that my family are not happy for me to pay such a ridicules sum and see where it goes from there.
If a smaller sum cannot be accepted buy her parents, then I will walk out the door.
I don’t feel I want to tell her now that I am not going to pay the 500,000; I want to spend some time with her in BKK as we have been apart some 6 months now and distant relationships are hard.
If after that if she really loves me and wants to be with me she will do something. However if she cannot come to a reasonable amount of sin sod then I will walk out on my terms. Walk out now I loose all I have given her with out even getting my leg over".

Brother, the Bible says in the Book of Proverbs that a wise man hides himself from evil, and the foolish man passes by and is destroyed by it! If you put yourself smack in the middle of that situation the devil will see that you don't get out unscathed. She is reeling you in like a big fish, and if I were you I would count my losses and run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. But...I know exactly what you're fixing to do. You'll let your foolish pride get in the way, and this time next year we'll all be on this thread again coaching another poor sucker...and this time we'll be using YOU as the example of "what not to do"! The ol' devil hasn't changed his strategy since the beginning of time in the Garden of Eden. He still comes at us in the same way...the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. It's God's Word...look it up for yourself! You're playing right into his trap!!!! Change your phone number, close out your email account and open up a new one, close out your Skype account and open up another one and make yourself invisible to this gal. Get back on the http://www.thailovelinks.com and replace her immediately. Even if you don't find the love of your life right away, the distraction is what you need right now. In two weeks you won't even remember your current Ms. Greedy's name. There are hundreds of decent girls out here just waiting in the wings for a grand fellow who has a good heart, and the easiest way to forget the old gal is to trade her in for a new one. Your story could well have been mine last year, so I'm speaking from experience. It worked for me and now I'm very happily married, unscathed, living in the LOS and totally in control of my finances. Thank You Lord!

[arjay]

I asked about the wedding reception, she said I should pay the 100000 and it will be in the village, no hotel as that would cost far more and she wants us to save money. The gifts she said from the guests will be small as the people they are poor, and when given that would go to the family and maybe they might give us back some but it won’t be much. She wants a ring B40000 and I expect as normal some gold will have to be shown.

I have been supporting her these last few months and feel I am now being taken for more that a ride.
Anyway she is to meet me in BKK January and buy the 40000 ring for the wedding, then on to her town for a few days to marry.

Simon, just in case this is real:

A village wedding reception in the village could easily be had for 20K, even less, particularly if all the guests are poor!
A wedding ring if 2 "solung" (0.5 baht would cost about 10K). Even a very large 1 baht ring should be no more than about 20K baht.
Why should you be supporting her, if she has a career job as a teacher?
She can't love you if you've only spent a couple of weeks together, and similarly:
You don't really know her.

Be careful, if you plan to meet her in Bangkok and then pull the plug on her, - your heart/emotions may well succumb or have second thoughts and you may find it difficult to extricate yourself.
Her brothers may even come to escort you to the village!!

I would favour inventing some sort of crisis in the UK, and tell her something like you've been made redundant or lost of your job, and don't have any money until you find another job, or that you now only have a very small pension. Then see what happens, and if she still loves you, or will send you your plane fare!!

[hangsaboot]

So that is the situation now.
. Walk out now I loose all I have given her with out even getting my leg over.

YOU MUST BE ONE OF UDON, GREATEST ******* .

One other strange thing she has no mic on her computer, has a cam but she has to type and I talk, for the last 4 months. She could easily get it fixed I have sent her money but no still no sound, any clues as to why. I asked her many time about this, she said don’t worry we can chat when I get there, but easily spends 2000 baht to have the new phone I sent her converted to Thai language.

BECAUSE ,
the darling dont want you to hear all her family laughing
at you . ha ha haha ,
her old man, and thai BF/HUSBAND are probably pissed up,with boose and laughter,
their buddah is happy ,

Oh greedy can they get[/quote] ,,,,,, as stupid as a farang can get .

[papaguido]

Way to many red flags in your situation. Don't even bother meeting her in BKK, just walk away from it and considered it a lesson learned.

[DermotC]

Semprefiguy's post, although a bit bibly for my liking is the best advice on here. Dont meet her in BKK, as was said she'll reel you in like a fish!

If you need to get your leg over, spend 2000 baht for an allnighter in BKK with a girl who is gifted in that particular art and you will soon forget about your girl who is laughing all the way to the bank. I also seeM to remember a good while ago that a westerner on here had his wedding in a village and it cost him no more than 10000 baht as he went and bought all the beer and food himself.

Bent over is not the words for whats happening to you, if you meet her again you are a very silly man. DONT DO IT!