what can i do to change family's opinion

[sony]

Hello Khun Paul,

first of all thanks for your point of view!
about my Uk citizen, that's not what i came to this forum!

So if you are very interested in my live, if you want we meet next time i am in odun or you sent me an mail!

to answer youer question, about why thailand, like i wrote before, i just met her in BKK during holidays and kept contact and came to see her several times for more then 2 years. It's destiny i think!
When i bought my BRU AUH BKK tkt, i didn't had in mind to go and find a thai woman!

it just happend!
About my comments, i just ask a question and some of you start asking questions and writing things about me i didn't asked!

So, thanks again for your point of view

bedankt

[sony]

to trubrit

thanks for your post!
finally some one with some normal reply!

about the support, to her parents never gave something, i brought presents and to her she only asked 2 times for a litle bit of money to repair bike, so i gave it

then when i'm with her, i take care of all she needs (food,body products), she only asked me to buy a mobil because hers was broken and she had difficulties when i was calling her to hear me.

to PIENMASH
go look at the mirror and be honest once in your desperate life and admit that you are frustrated, desperate and paranoia!

i won't say gay because i have some gay friends but believe me!
you make me laugh!!!
rubbish!



So if i follow Trubrit and Glyn's point of view, i should start talking about some money with her parents?
about her, i'm sure she loves me for what i am and not what i have

so thanks again, all point of views are welcome

[BobHelm]

Sony, I am sorry if my original question to you has started off some sort of 'quiz' as to your motives, that was not my intention. I only wanted to clarify your EXACT position.
You may find that you end up getting a few very different type of answers to your question. People can only sensibly answer from their personal experiences so that does not make either "set" of answers incorrect & only you can decide what sort of way forward is right for you.
The father may actually be a mercenary bastard and is seeking a large cash contribution before he will contemplate the match.
The father may actually believe that you are unsuitable (or possibly have criminal intentions towards his daughter).
The lady concerned may well have decided that you are not the mate for her & is seeking a (Thai) way out.

From a few words published on a Forum it really is not possible to even guess which is the correct answer. Only you can decide that & so, maybe, think of a way forward.
My only final point is that most Falang/Thai relationship issues happen because of communication issues. Without, in any way intending to be insulting, your written English skills are not of the highest & I suspect that your GF skills are even poorer so you really should consider obtaining the services of a skilled translator if you really want to solve the problem.

[sony]

Thanks for your reply,

everything you wrote makes sence!

and i agree with you 100%
but i just asked the question to see what i could do, or what could be the reasons the father doesn't want me to marry her!

as you say i think that the issue is that he things i will abuse her or do some criminal things with her!

she knows me very well and always tells me that with me she would be very happy because i just want the best for her!

so for the moment the only good answers i had was
1 talk about money
2 stay there for a while so they can know me like my girl does

so thanks again for your reply

[BobHelm]

It might be best to take the 2 route first sony & get some help from a local Thai or Falang who can speak both Thai & English.
IF the father is genuine & worried about his daughter then I cannot imagine anything that would confirm his worst fears quicker than if you offered to buy her - which is how he may see the offer of money unsubtly put..

[sony]

You are right again Bobhelm,

i thaught that i could first ask him what he expect from me to show that i am worth to be his stepson
and then if he doesn't react i can ask him if i can stay for a while with him so we have the chance to know each other.

I made some movies of my houses here in belgium to show him that she will have everything she needs

so best not to talk about money if he doesn't start about it

[Welshboy]

Hi Sony.
What is the rush to get married all about ? You are both young and have plenty of time.
Dont push so hard just let things happen.
Stop talking about money, marrage ect, to your TG and her family. Just enjoy your relationship together.
Your TG or her family will show there hand in time.
Colin

[jai yen yen]

The reality is either the girl does not want you or the father does not want you with his daughter. Maybe for a good reason, maybe not. I don't know you. The bottom line is I would walk away from this situation, if she does want to be with you but her family has this kind of influence on her it will always be a problem. Why start a life with someone that is guaranteed to be trouble down the road.

[pienmash]

Sony .

i just woke up this fine morning and checked in the mirror ....... no frustration , not desperate and the only paranoia is about selling sausages . I did offer what i think is decent advice and after 13 years living in Thailand i feel accurate too.

Most on this forum know i like to jape and be generally lighthearted in my posts , i also say things how they are ... to be blunt i have found your constant requests for advice pathetic an absolute joke , grow some balls ,take off the flowery pinny , stop all the crap and get it sorted you are obviously a lovestruck whimp and this girl and her family will sh*it on you forever if you dont .

One last point IMO and i have experienced myself along with many others ....... it is very very difficult to maintain a steady , stable and honest relationship whilst you dont even live in the same country as your partner on a full time basis exactly the reason i moved perminantly to LOS yeas back. (and my wife is still buried under the patio to this day)

mash

[bamakmak]

I'm sorry - I just can't shake my belief that this entire story is a fabrication. I just can't take anything written by OP seriously.

A few cases in point, most all of which have already been raised by other posters:

1. The story itself makes no sense. If, in fact, the Thai girl's family is so concerned about her being with a farang and she is so willing to follow their wishes, there is no way this relationship would have continued for two years. It wouldn't have lasted two weeks.

2. The OP says he wants the girl to come to the UK, but then goes on to say he lives and works in Belgium and, in fact, owns houses there.

3. There no way this guy is British. Virtually every one of his posts mutilates the english language (even by American standards ) . For example,

i thaught that i could first ask him what he expect from me to show that i am worth to be his stepson

Even if we ignore all of his previous misspellings (we all know the Brits can't spell ), the phraseology is all wrong.

I have no idea why the OP has weaved this tale and I doubt that we ever will.

[Aardvark]

Cause so far he's had 51 Replies, and will probably get a few more

[Texpat]

Reeks of Old Timer if you ask me.

Dull, ill-planned, several lapse of continuity, weak logic.

[747man]

Me thinks Sony is a TROLL !!! Sitting in The Black Pearl Coffee Shop in Downtown.............Kampala,Remind you of ANYONE ???

[Glyn]

It's just possible that he is using us to practice his english, we're telling him where he's making mistakes, plus he gets the opportunity to read each reply, it's a perfect study class for him, we're free teachers marking his homework,

Sony (two stars - can do better)

I think my theory of the hidden agenda is showing through, he wants anyone who knows him, to...
1. Know he didn't come looking for a girl but merely on holiday in BKK - that's where we all go when sex is the last thing on our minds.
2. That she isn't a bar girl - If I had a quid for everyone that has said that to me - listen it don't matter if a girl worked in a bar in the past, it's what they want from you in the future, she could have worked in Tesco but if she's asking for a house or a car and you're old enough to be her grandad then she's a prostitute.
3. That he's got multiple houses - Sony that could be a friend's house or a rented house, I think making videos would be a total waste of time and me thinks you didn't do it, I say you post them on here or everybody will know you are a fraud.

[hangsaboot]

Me thinks Sony is a TROLL !!! Sitting in The Black Pearl Coffee Shop in Downtown.............Kampala,Remind you of ANYONE ???

=D> =D> =D>

just , another jakanory story ..
next please .

p.s. sorry for short post , PLANK NEXT TIME SURE .
i,m out looking tonite 4A WFB , they are a plenty in ufon .
sweet dreams LOL

[designer]

most dads look at the prospects of the future son inlaw, have you a good job ? have you plenty of bt in the bank,
most thais want someone who can inproove the status of the family ,it might be what you do for a living thats putting dad off ,i would not want my daughter to marry a security guard or farm labourer , I dont know what you do but just remember that most thais want security over love .

[tamada]

The OP (that's sony in case he's not paying attention) says that the gf's father doesn't trust him. Because he doesn't trust him, the gf has acquiesced in favour of her dad and sony aint gettin' any anymore.

Now, apart from the fact that several venerable and venerated posters here have also picked up on the OPs (sony? can you follow?) lack of... veracity, I can see where the father MAY be coming from. Possible Belgian chap wants to take oldest unmarried daughter to a THIRD country. Reeks of people trafficking to me and I have been out of that business for over two decades.

My take... the girl met sony and liked sony and allowed sony to meet the family. However, somewhere in the ensuing 24-months, she has met some other farangs and maybe sony isn't such a catch after all. I mean a new cellphone and a muffler for the brothers motorbike doesn't allude to future familial munificence... does it? And you want her to return with you to [insert European country of choice here] and live 'like a European lady'? That is a serious WTF.

It's a pity that sony so quickly got all defensive and shall I say, downright rude with HIS inferences that most of us are only interested in shagging newly post-pubescent weekend shopping mall eye-candy, student types* between drunk sessions. Hey! It's a mans work and needs a man OK?

However, I assume that his Thai language skills are way less than his English ones and this patriarchal deference has only been communicated to him by his (now ex-) gf. If she says that's what's happening then bless me, that must be what is happening. Third party Thai-English interlocution may have helped but IMHO, I think that she has already settled for a younger, richer.... dare I say more handsome model and just wants sony to move along quietly.

* PM me if you want one.

[arjay]

Just a thought, - working on the assumption that the OP and his post are genuine, - from my limited experience with GF's parents/families, I'm not convinced they would stop her from doing what she wanted to do, assuming she really wanted to do it! IMO they would take their lead from her, thus it could really be her that doesn't want to go or, as suggested by Tamada, pursue the relationship.

[old-timer]

Just a thought, - working on the assumption that the OP and his post are genuine, - from my limited experience with GF's parents/families, I'm not convinced they would stop her from doing what she wanted to do, assuming she really wanted to do it! IMO they would take their lead from her, thus it could really be her that doesn't want to go or, as suggested by Tamada, pursue the relationship.

and dont take no notice of OT

[DermotC]

[quote="old-timer and dont take no notice of OT[/quote]

most sensible thing to come out of OT is quite a long time!