I was thinking

[old-timer]

Here's somthing that OT has noticed: if I said I had a thai girlfriend that I didn't trust for one reason or another and asked your opinion, or wanted to know how much money I needed to live in Udon, or something like that, it will without a doubt fill pages of responses. How do you feel when you've been sucked in?

OT.................

[Welshboy]

How do you feel when you've been sucked in?

Sexualy reileaved !

[old-timer]

OT's got 120 dancers and a truck load of speakers coming to his compound this morning for the first rehersal of a TV ad. On top of that I've got about 10 or so jerk who will be buying this product coming also. I was thinking of going bang on the p1ss today, but i might be busy. I'll utube it.

OT..................

[old-timer]

OT is thinking of going to church this morning. Reason being that the sun is shining, my place here is opposite a church and I noticed a few WFB's wandering in whilst I was sitting on the patio drinking lager, and I'm sure I can holler as loud as they can.

OT..............

[old-timer]

Something that happened yesterday: I had all the dancers, the loudest speaker system and together with that the cameras and ten jerk who will buy this thing. That's not the point I'm making, I live on the ground floor of a set of 4 apartments, upstairs lives a muslim family. They are very good people. When the music started and things got going, a couple of the eldest daughters wandered down, I asked them if they wanted to join in. They couldn't its against their religion. Now, I appreciate most things, but that is like putting cufflinks on someone. They wanted to join in.

OT..............

[DermotC]

I was thinking............ OT talks to himself alot

[old-timer]

yes, quite right dermot, however, more than 4000 people having a look suggests to me that there is a bit of interest. --------.

OT.............

[jackspratt]

Perhaps explicable by the 3724 times you checked it out yourself, O/T.

[old-timer]

Perhaps explicable by the 3724 times you checked it out yourself, O/T.

Is that true? I doubt it. Although I'm quite pleased for Jack to make a post whilst he is not annoyed about something or other.
I was thinking.....OT.......

[DermotC]

Thats the third time you have called me a name OT. Looking forward to meeting you......

[Welshboy]

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
And you just need to take it out on someone,
Don't take it out on someone you know,
Take it out on someone you don't know,
But you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
A phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying
'Hello..'

I politely said,
'This is Colin
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
To call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed
The last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an asshole!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down
With the word 'asshole' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
Calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
'NO!'
And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an asshole!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store,
Getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
Cut me off and pulled into the spot
I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled
That I'd been waiting for that spot,
But the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
So I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
Right after calling the first asshole
(I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house
And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,
'Yes?'

I said,
'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up,
And added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said,
'Hello'

I said,
'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,
'Yeah!'

He screamed,
'Stop calling me'

I said,
'Make me.'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'Asshole, I live at 34 oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax ,
A yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'
And hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said,
'Hello?'

I said,
'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass'

I answered,
'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I was on my way over to 34 oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax , to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in oak tree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

Colin.

[old-timer]

Looking forward to meeting you......

And so you, as well as most people do.....my adress in udon is well known, and I don't hide, and I don't advertise the fact whenever I'm in Udon Thani. My dad is a paddy, but he's nothing like you.

OT...................

[old-timer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYKHccpfi3c

OT ...............

[DermotC]

Looking forward to meeting you......

And so you, as well as most people do.....my adress in udon is well known, and I don't hide, and I don't advertise the fact whenever I'm in Udon Thani. My dad is a paddy, but he's nothing like you.

OT...................

Ot, Id never go asking about your house or where you lived.....Nobody on a public forum would concern me that much. Glad you feel self important enough to feel that way though . When I said I was looking forward to meeting you I didnt mean coming to your house. I dont advertise when im in Udon either as I live here!

Being that you father is Irish, you should know that calling an Irish person a Paddy, especially when coming from a Brit is the same as a black person being called the N word or a woman being called the C word. Not nice OT. Working for a charity I would have thought you a much better person than to resort to name calling such as -------- or in the past a Spastic Paddy. -------- I can take as you seem to think everyone in the world is one besides yourself of course. Paddy Mick, Potatoe picker, yes Im all of those and with my own race we do frequently call each other those names. You are not of my race so refrain from calling me a Paddy please. As I said, coming from a Brit its the same as a black person being called the N word.

Im prepared to leave it at that if you are.

Dermot

[old-timer]

Im prepared to leave it at that if you are.

Dermot

Let's leave it there, I didn't realise that the word paddy was so offensive. I appolgise.

OT..............

[DermotC]

No worries OT, I do find alot of your post amusing! Talk soon

Dermot

[Welshboy]

Us Welsh sheep shaggers, want you Irish Paddy's.
To stop sucking up to those English Bastards.
Before they let the Scotish lunatic out of the Asylums.

Get over yourselfs
Colin

[DermotC]

Sometimes I just dont know what to make of you Colin!

[parrot]

While drinking our morning tea/coffee, my wife held our morning yak session (elongated today because of favorable yak conditions). Along the way, I commented about how some falangs are so quick to criticize life in Thailand. And that got me to thinking:
My wife's spent years in Okinawa, Korea, Taiwan, Panama and a variety of places in the US. Along the way, she's had groups of Thai friends that got together to socialize, just as expats do here.
So, I asked my wife, 'what sort of things did you guys (girls) criticize when you got together in your groups'.
"Nottin', honey" was the answer.
I asked more directly, "Well, when you were in all those foreign countries and got together with your Thai friends, what sort of cultural things did you guys criticize."
Her answer, "Nottin'." In her words, life was always better on the other side of the fence, despite some strange cultural differences/food/etc.
As much as I try to remember, I can't.....think of a time in all these years that she's complained about hugs/kisses versus wais, shoes on versus not, idiot drivers, long-winding queues at the motor vehicle department, immigration/naturalization procedures, or even the dreaded lack of fish sauce in small town USA.
Maybe it's a symptom of her being Thai and less likely to question life in general.....or maybe it's a symptom of us being falangs and expecting things to go our way no matter where we are in the world.
Anyway, I was just thinking.
Yes, it's a tad cold, but given the option of mid-upper 90's as is common this time of year, this is heaven on earth!

[old-timer]

OT got arrested the week before last in Kampala. It was for nothing much however after giving up my shoes, belt, money, phone, and condoms, I did have to spend the night in the Central police station cell together with 60 other crazy prisoners. I was the only white man. I found a place in the corner of the filthy concrete dungeon to get a bit of sleep and just as I'm dropping off to sleep, about 2 or 3 am I got bond, paid for by a WFB and released. I was thinking that was a bit inconsiderate, she should have sorted it out a bit earlier or a bit later when I'd woken up, anyway, I had to report to the police every day at 9 am until my case came before the magistrate.In court I got a choice of a 200,000UGX fine (about 2,500baht) or 6 months in prison. I took my time as to which punishment to take just to infuriate the magistrate. Just before she (the magistrate) exploded I told her I would pay the fine. That prank cost me a whole day in the court jail.

OT............