Having a bad day...every day!

Post by **semperfiguy** » April 18, 2011, 9:33 am

WhoUrDaddy wrote:semperfiguy,

Compassion...........and excellent quality. Venting is good, and also, lets others thinking the same, to think long and hard before making a permanent move. Why I notice many of the old miserable gits recommend to RENT RENT RENT, until you are certain Thailand is for you, and where to live in Thailand, as it obviously isn't for everyone. An excellent thread, with some great input. Whether agreeing with or disagreeing with opinions.

All is not happy happy happy as you will read from the holiday makers, and LOS does not stand for Smiles. Ignorance, almost acceptable, but the repetitive arrogance, to the point of dangerous needs to be pointed out, so those not familiar have the information needed to make a rational decision that may effect the rest of their lives, especially if living on a fixed retirement and once settled, won't have the options of others.

Keep posting, your thoughts are a welcome and refreshing change to the constant happy happy, and crying blues. Rational thought, venting is always educational, well done. Hope things work out in the future for you, as I know it took me a couple adjustments to find my happiness. Things I controlled and things I adjusted to.

Thanks WhoUrDaddy! Now that's what I'm talkin' about. A guy with wisdom, intelligence and understanding...requisite tools for fine-tuned discernment.

Post by **Saboo** » April 18, 2011, 10:52 am

I like you too Ray….
Ray Please tell me where I wrote “all” Thai people are good people…? I am the first to admit there are good and bad people everywhere… its something I always say when discussing living here… as for ignorance… that goes with not being able to get along with the locals… its for us to conform with them not them conform to our wishes… as you know I have successfully assimilated myself into Thailand life with a lot of Thai friends… I was told just this morning by a Thai lady with a shop that I was a Thai. man with white skin…! I took it as a compliment…
My advice would be to anyone who is having problems living here… next time the neighbors have a party… call in and say hello… almost sure they will invite a friendly falang in…especially if your holding a bottle of whiskey… you don’t have to drink any if you don’t like drink… just socialize…
Saboo

Post by **Saboo** » April 18, 2011, 10:53 am

So “semperfiguy”… You say you know my type… I don’t think so… But I know your type… You and people like you make it very difficult for the likes of people like me… you need to learn to respect Thai’s… this is after all their country… you are just a guest here as is every other falang… the likes of you gave Thai. people the wrong idea about westerners… we are all tarred with the same brush here… so your actions of discontentment affect the way Thai. people view all falangs… How would you like it if a lot of Thai people came to live in the USA and complained about your behavour…?

Quote you…
“Let’s go buy a barking dog and tick off everybody in the neighborhood. After all, Thais are all non-confrontational, so nobody will mind or say anything.”
Let me tell you they will mind as do I...

You and a lot of people who have posted on this thread boarder on being a racist… you are moaning on to all the wrong people wanting them to see it your way… try asking your wife what you should do… after all she is Thai and will be able to advise you on how to react to the locals… Falangs do not talk enough to their Thai spouse’s…
Next you talk about “ my type being boozed up..”… You could not have got it more wrong… I don’t drink…!
I personally think you’re too old to adapt to this life… you are better off in the life you know in the west… the old saying you can not teach an old dog new tricks spring to mind… I often get asked how I have adopted to this life so well… I say that its so important to learn the language… to be able to communicate with the locals on their level… as well as having a better relationship with your spouse… the answer I get from old scroats like you is “ I am to old to learn….” Says it all doesn’t it…?

Post by **semperfiguy** » April 18, 2011, 1:03 pm

Saboo wrote:So “semperfiguy”… You say you know my type… I don’t think so… But I know your type… You and people like you make it very difficult for the likes of people like me… you need to learn to respect Thai’s… this is after all their country… you are just a guest here as is every other falang… the likes of you gave Thai. people the wrong idea about westerners… we are all tarred with the same brush here… so your actions of discontentment affect the way Thai. people view all falangs… My point exactly Saboo...Thais are hypocrites just like the rest of us, and they will slander the whole of us just like we do them for the bad behavior of the few.How would you like it if a lot of Thai people came to live in the USA and complained about your behavour…? I'd say that is their right and privilege, and if I acted like they do then I would be deservant of their criticism. There are universally acceptable standards of behavior in a civilized society, and if this country is going to line up with its claim to be an emerging society, then their has to be a paradigm shift in their mentality. They don't have to change just because I said so, but I say "don't act like an ape then tell me that you have emerged from the jungle". It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out when your barking dog, drinking parties and loud music have pissed off your neighbor. If I am the one who is disturbed or offended then I will go to that person at the proper time and bring the matter to their attention in a loving manner and give them an opportunity to repent. If they fail to honor my request, then I will return a second time with a witness and bring the matter to their attention once more. If the transgression continues, then I will turn them over to the proper civil authority for futher admonishment. Herein lies the frustration...try that in Thailand and you could very well wind up sliced across the skull with a machete, or worse yet, being killed by some thug that was paid 1000 baht to snuff you out. So Saboo, I think when people like me lash out at our circumstances and verbally attack all Thais, we do it out of pure frustration. It's like the intelligent man who is in a heated debate, and he starts losing and can't come up with the proper words so he resorts to cursing and fist swinging. I don't think any of us are racists, and I don't think we hate Thais or tar them all with the same brush. WE'RE JUST FRUSTRATED! Most of us came here to live out the rest of our lives in peace, and we either can't or don't want to return to our home country. The clock's ticking and we realize that today could be the day that we take our last breath. All of us are on a search for significance and happiness, and for a Thai or any other person to infringe on my right to a peacful existance simply because they want to have things their way with no regard for the community as a whole, then that is unacceptable behavior. Yet, we are helpless to do anything about it. Many of us have been fighting and struggling our entire lives, and we're just too tired to pack up and start all over again. Thailand is where we take our last stand!

Quote you…
“Let’s go buy a barking dog and tick off everybody in the neighborhood. After all, Thais are all non-confrontational, so nobody will mind or say anything.”
Let me tell you they will mind as do I...Sorry I didn't make myself clear here. I wasn't insinuating that one should go buy a dog and piss everyone off. I was trying to be facetious. I was implying that a Thai will go out and buy the dog because he's more focused on having his way in spite of the fact that the dog will ultimately anger all his neighbors. But his rationale is that he can get away with it because he doesn't expect anyone to complain or confront him.

You and a lot of people who have posted on this thread boarder on being a racist… you are moaning on to all the wrong people wanting them to see it your way… try asking your wife what you should do… after all she is Thai and will be able to advise you on how to react to the locals… Saboo, my wife and I communicate very well, and she is absolutely appalled at the behavior of the average Thai. She gets just as upset as I do, but she is also very non-confrontational. She says they're just uneducated and she has no solution to the problems which just adds to my frustration.Falangs do not talk enough to their Thai spouse’s…
Next you talk about “ my type being boozed up..”… You could not have got it more wrong… I don’t drink…!
I personally think you’re too old to adapt to this life… you are better off in the life you know in the west… the old saying you can not teach an old dog new tricks spring to mind… I often get asked how I have adopted to this life so well… I say that its so important to learn the language… to be able to communicate with the locals on their level… as well as having a better relationship with your spouse… the answer I get from old scroats like you is “ I am to old to learn….” Says it all doesn’t it…?

So Saboo, I'm sorry if I offended you! That certainly wasn't my intent. We're all in this boat together and with the proper dialogue threads like this help us all to work through our difficulties. I wish you all the best!

Post by **rct** » April 18, 2011, 1:41 pm

My cause of bad day every day in full swing today, the city roads are particularly full, full of idiots that is.

Began with drive to breakfast, I always pass Srisuk junction at prison and police station. Just through toward Phosri and as I signal to pass a slow motorcyle, some nut motorcycle from behind decides to zoom and pass me during my pass, only to then spot his friend in pickup parked to my left so suddenly he brakes in front of me to pull over, forcing me to stop too, dear reader note we were both accelerating just one second before. What a nut. Stopped by necessity, I roll down the passenger window to tell him with a smile "Kuhn gang mak krap" of course being facetious. My wife was nervous as she figured out he was an off duty policeman. So I continued on, and by the time I had a green light at the next junction 200 meters down ,he zoomed past again passing in the turn, as did his buddy in the pickup truck.

Moral: my friendly admonition does no good. They could care less about my opinion and are not going to change because of me. The only reason I bother is utter frustration and this is a way of venting.

30 minutes later, full stomach, driving to Nong Prajak, I have a green light going straight and the counter reads 14...13...12 and at 12 as I am nearly into the intersection, a Honda from the left makes his left turn on red to turn in front of my right of way, I was far enough back though I was still moving with my green light....12....11....and I am in the intersection when a van has the nerve to follow the Honda in the turn which would force me to either swerve out of the way or stop. Well, another option, I start blaring the horn to let him know I am coming and not slowing down (as much as I can help it while still avoiding any collision), have the right of way, he does not. He got the message and stopped. Beats the window down and trying to communicate verbally approach.

Though begs the question, how and why do Thais rarely use the horn? They are either the aggressors (say a few percent of all drivers, not more, but enough to be very frequent and spoil things) or, the majority who are always stay calm and collected and better than me, they are taking it in stride, letting the nut job do his thing, why react to it? Wish I could learn that approach.

There were yet more, and it's only 1 pm.

Post by **DermotC** » April 18, 2011, 1:57 pm

Understand, SFG,Saboo and RCT and at times I feel like all of them. Having said that I just remind myself of what i left behind and I get that warm foozy feeling and Im quite content again. I do agree however that it is up to us to fit in with them not the other way round. You can rage against the machine as much as you want but trying to change a culture to fit in with you just doesnt work.

SFG, you will be ok brother, just takes time and patience, two things which you have an abundance of!

Post by **MALC** » April 18, 2011, 2:05 pm

yes we farangs are all tared with the same brush its the same the other way round. in general i think they have earned it more than us.

Post by **parrot** » April 18, 2011, 2:13 pm

So the gardener and the maid don't show up today after being off for a week........the start of a bad day. Registered the truck....3 minutes, bought tick medicine for the dogs 3 minutes.....paid ubc....3 minutes.....bought fresh coffee beans at Aroma Coffee....3 minutes......ate my Viet noodle soup 15 minutes.....bought mealworms for our birds.....3 minutes. Checked my empty mail box....3 minutes......haircut 20 minutes. All done expeditiously. Why'd the trip to town take 4 hours? traffic. I have to say, there are good reasons to be a hermit and venture out from the shell only occasionally.

Post by **bumper** » April 18, 2011, 3:21 pm

Saboo wrote:I like you too Ray….
Ray Please tell me where I wrote “all” Thai people are good people…? I am the first to admit there are good and bad people everywhere… its something I always say when discussing living here… as for ignorance… that goes with not being able to get along with the locals… its for us to conform with them not them conform to our wishes… as you know I have successfully assimilated myself into Thailand life with a lot of Thai friends… I was told just this morning by a Thai lady with a shop that I was a Thai. man with white skin…! I took it as a compliment…
My advice would be to anyone who is having problems living here… next time the neighbors have a party… call in and say hello… almost sure they will invite a friendly falang in…especially if your holding a bottle of whiskey… you don’t have to drink any if you don’t like drink… just socialize…
Saboo

Saboo I don't have all those problems, your not tuned in a enough the music is a joke. Actually try to be a good neighbor, help a I can the same a would be anywhere. I made some progress recently only have two dogs that bothered me on my walk. So I tried something I sit down in front of their house where they roam in the street. Took two days for about 20 mins till they came to me. Now they don't bother me. There is always a way even with most dogs

Ok I think we are on the same page now LOL

I'm always getting invited to have a bite on my walks no booze required. I agree that for the most part Thai's are friendly people. I enjoy my village rides never in nine years had one argument in the village. This is home to me. I had a bad day simple as that. My only mistake was admitting it happens from time to time.

For the most part Thailand is as imperfect as any other place certainly not a worse as some. Is there some place better if I knew of one I would have been there long ago.

As far as getting on some ones case because they could care less if they cause me or mine's to injury I don't care if they are Thai or otherwise C Clamp applies. hat has very little to do with Thailand at the level it happened and everything to do with someone being a jerk.

Not as to my problem and my surprise something is really getting to me at the moment don't know what it is. Maybe the heat I don't know. I'm used to this place with all it's imperfection it's home.

Ok so your not ignorant and what was that I was with my music joke? Come on we have n known each other to long and we both have strengths and weakness in other words human.

I can recognize that the guy gave accurate account of Thailand sometimes, could cause him problem in adjusting. The funny thing none of those things he speaks ever really bothered me. One guy that was one of the most friendly guys on this forum, had exactly the same problems eventually he went back to the states after serious thoughts the benefits didn't out weigh the negatives.

I have met the Op in this case personally nice enough guy, but his frustration level is extremely high. Will he come to the same decision a my other friend maybe. This guy blowing off some steam may get him to a point of making that decision with a clear mind.

I have yet to meet anyone that didn't have to make the adjustment to stay here, nor have I met anyone who has not had some problem in doing so at one point or another. My problem were with the girls I was meeting nothing but money scams my life got real easy after I met my wife and we built a life together. But I put up with a lot of carp to get there. I came close many times to failing.

When I see the response to this guy and me getting told to get on an airplane, That must have been the guys that never had a problem, they do exist.

Now will I get on the airplane, I don't run from my problems I learn.

When I have those parties with western music I buy the beer an invite the neighbors never had a problem.

Now the real question where is a cool spot in South East Asia besides Japan I would like to escape the heat for a few weeks this year and don't have a clue.

Post by **Aardvark** » April 18, 2011, 3:46 pm

Winter in Perth Mate but still pleasant in the mid 20's, rock on down under =D>

Post by **trekkertony** » April 19, 2011, 6:41 am

Hi Semperfiguy,

The attached link may assist you. It has a number of musical genres streaming over the net. Click on the musical choice by accessing under the status bar which will not run down your internet access if on a timed plan.

http://www.internode.on.net/residential ... and_radio/

Good luck with managing the intricacies of merging western/thai lifestyles.

Post by **drillpig** » April 19, 2011, 9:46 am

Saboo wrote:My O My….! isn’t there a lot of unhappy old falang men living here in Udon… and the surrounding area’s… the answer to all your woe’s is easy… pack up and leave… ! if you decide to stay… learn to live with “Thailand”… all your moaning and winging is pathetic… trying to piss your neighbors off because they piss you off is nothing but stupid… some of the comments in this thread are darn right insulting towards Thai. People…
B.T.W. if you lot of old scroats do bugger off to where you came from give me a “pm” I could do with some cheap furniture…

Saboo assimilated and Happy…!

your either a thai that can speak good english or a 2 month a year wannabe. Semperfi good for you for being honest

Post by **KHONDAHM** » April 19, 2011, 12:18 pm

@Semperfi
It's a phase. You'll get through it or resolve it. That's pretty much what every long-timer is saying - me included. If you don't want to or unable to buy the rai, perhaps a long-term arrangement at Aek Udon, Joy Condotel, or the like would do you some good. I recall when I lived in Jomtien, I got the highest available condo I could find with a great view to get away from the noise. Not so many choices here, but there are a few if you look around a bit and maybe be creative. Sacrifice location a bit for living behind Carrfour or some other retail area where nobody is around when the shops are closed. Just a thought.

Post by **bumper** » April 19, 2011, 3:36 pm

Solved all my problem all is well in Thailand again. Went on a 300 Klm bike ride got out in the country. Budha was with me nice and cool just wonderful. Probably be at least three months before I turn into a total as--ole again LOL

I will get my turn again

Post by **grozza** » April 20, 2011, 6:22 am

saboo if you think thai people who go to america or oz and dont complain how we falangs do things your dreaming buddy,they complain and vent just like us,when we were staying with the inlaws once the neighbor decided to burn all there plastics whilst we were eating dinner so before i said a word father inlaw jumps up storms out and says to the neighbor why dont you burn during the day when everybody outside,mind you i think he only said somthing cause we had our daughter who was only a baby at the time,so saboo everybody vents there anger some sort of way whether its on this forum or to someones face.

Post by **Khun Paul** » April 20, 2011, 6:53 am

It is obvious to me that apart from some basic problems here aka driving/ Selfishness and other seeming understandable problems Thais are really like us in many ways, either here or in our own countries we have people who complain at everything and nothing, hoping to get preference or just better service.
HERE of course as we are the foreigners the Thai habit of completely ignoring us is frustrating and we take it as a slight, however if you watch then closely they ignore anyone that they do not want to talk to, or they just march up and start talking expecting the other person to listen to them.

Foreigners in our own countries learn it is their right to complain if goods or services are bad and they do so in large numbers as do we all, again here it is pointless and the providers of the goods and services do not even seem to care and they adopt the attitude that in respect of goods it is not the seller that has the problem but the manufacturer and that is who you complain to.

True that attitude is slowly changing with the advent of Tescos and the like but very slowly. In reality then Thailand is no different to many countries, the only barrier is the lack of communication , Thai is a hard language to master,if you learn a little they talk Issan and when you do many will ignore the farang speaking Thai.
Frustrations therefore breed contempt and complaints when in fact we are often the cause of our own dissatisfaction because we do not understand .

Post by **nkstan** » April 20, 2011, 8:03 am

Well said KP,clear and succinct!Saboo,this is a forum,a bit of a community forum as many of us know each other.Unless you are one of the ''men'' that think people are weak/less a man because they vent their feelings or show their emotions,you should realize that it is therapeutic and allows other falangs know that they are not the only ones thinking and feeling the way they do.

Most people ,anywhere,find it difficult to be a minority culture in a new place and find it difficult to deal with changes,some which are the opposite to everything they have been taught or experienced before!

If you have '' assimilated'' and you are happy,good for you!Not all have that capability and find other ways to adjust and have good lives here(I am one),without causing the Thais any problems with their culture.

Your lack of empathy for others,tends to make me think,your assimilation is complet

e!

Post by **bumper** » April 20, 2011, 9:34 am

I'm feeling a Rodney individual Moment cant we all just get along

Lets skip all the beatings before hand $\:D/$ $\:D/$ $\:D/$ $\:D/$

Post by **Saboo** » April 20, 2011, 10:00 am

“Your lack of empathy for others,tends to make me think,your assimilation is complet e!..” NKSTAN I will take that as a complement for now…

Quote NKS…
“Not all have that capability and find other ways to adjust and have good lives here (I am one)” Really…?? From what I recall in recent years is that you like to vent off about the locals too…Can’t be too happy then can you…? Some of which in the past has being very racist… racist enough to get your posts deleted.

Post by **bigsnake** » April 20, 2011, 10:30 pm

semperfiguy wrote:I've been posting on this forum for nearly 10 months now since retiring to Udon last June. I generally have something negative to say about my life in Thailand, and unfortunately it's not getting any better from day to day. Some have suggested that I upgrade my lifestyle and move into a more pleasant village to get away from the discourteous neighbors, barking dogs, unkept neighborhood, etc. Well, for the first 9 months I lived in First Home Village, one of the nicer villages in Udon. Just 42 days ago I moved into Baan San Sa-Ran, Lake Garden City. I surveyed the area many times before taking the plunge, and the village had all the appearances of being a quiet, upscale and well kept community with a more affluent base of residents living in homes that cost 2 Million Baht ++. Not a day has passed that I haven't experienced an occasion when I wanted to just pull my hair out. I'm sitting here this morning, and I'm just about at my wit's end...and I need to vent...or else! I woke up this morning to the barking of my neighbor's little yapping shitzu. He's my alarm clock at 6 AM every morning. I'm made my grievances known to the owner on several occasions in a very polite and courteous manner...but to no avail. Now I've resorted to screaming out the window just after my blood pressure shoots through the roof. The neighbors could care less. The dog barks on and nobody cares but me.

Night before last the neighbor across the street threw a drinking/eating party in his front lawn and had all his relatives from the farm taking part. The music/kareoke was cranked up to an unbearable level that was vibrating the windows in my home. My lovely wife commented..."quit complaining Sweetheart, they're just celebrating Songkhran"! Well excuse me, but where does the list of entitlements to be rude to your neighbor ever end? If it's not Songkhran it's a wedding party, or a house warming, or a death anniversary or the ....the list goes on and on! After hours of endless sleep I peeped out the window and the entire crew was passed out drunk on the front lawn and every light in the house and yard was left on with the music still blaring at 180,000 decibals until the sun came up.

Beginning at 6 AM this morning the sales office from the village sponsored a Tamboon in the center of the village and invited all the residents to drop by and have the local monks throw water on them. There were about 100 locals that showed up, but the speaker's microphone and accompanying music speakers were set up as if they were playing for the Woodstock Festival. The crowd was so small they could have done it without any speakers at all, but instead they had to blast it for 4 hours so the entire east side of Udon could listen in. I wanted to venture out and take a walk around the lake to let off some steam, but the viscious looking Rottweiler and Husky that camp out at the top of the street (not street dogs...neighbors leave their gates open to let the dogs roam) make sure that I remain a prisoner in my own home.

I keep the street in front of my home clear of all debris and usually wind up policing the entire street at least once a week. The garbage truck came by this morning, and after they opened up all the plastic garbage bags and scavenged for recyclable items, I looked up and down the street and the area looked like the road going into Baghdad after the first Gulf War. Why can't Thai's take ownership for the quality of work that they perform? And guess who winds up cleaning the entire street again. How is it that Thais view litter on a street in front of their own home as "invisible" and none of their concern.

Since moving to this village I have observed that many of the residents appear to be ex farmers who have capitalized on the boost in real estate prices in and around Udon, sold out and bought a home here...or some well intentioned farang bought the home for the wife's/girlfriend's family and moved them in while they enjoy life abroad. There's not a curtain in the house, not a stick of furniture in the house and they camp out in the front yard like they're still living in the rice paddies. The front yard and driveway is littered with debris, and it looks like a tsunami just roared through the village.

Well...I could go on and on, but what good is it. You can take an ape out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the ape. It's my problem so I'll deal with it. Time for an attitude check...yep...same as it was yesterday! Change it or wind up in an early grave you say. The early grave seems like a better option at this point! Thanks for letting me vent guys.

In a word "TIT" This is Thailand. Flexible is the thing to be in this Country<>I would say to anyone in my home country if you don't like our rules and laws head for the airport, bus station or whereever BYE BYE!!