Post
by semperfiguy » June 18, 2011, 10:42 pm
I'm going to expound on some of the comments pertaining to dress code because I too believe that it can have an influence on the quality of a relationship. Actually there are so many diverse thoughts on the subject that it probably should have its own thread. In many respects the way in which we dress plays a huge role in defining who we are as people. Clothes and the way in which we wear them are actually "uniforms" that send a message to other people as to our status and stage in life. They signal that we may be a military person, a government employee, a businessman, a tourist, a transvestite, a rich man, a poor man, etc, etc. Grooming and hygiene say a lot about our upbringing and training, our status in life, our self-esteem and attitudes about ourselves and how we want to be perceived by other people, etc, etc.
Personally, these matters have been important to me for as long as I can remember. I was raised by a US Marine "Gunny" Guadalcanal veteran, and I later became a US Marine Sergeant Vietnam vet, so before I left the house I had to be spit shined from head to toe. Up until the time I retired last year, I never walked out of my home without a fresh coat of polish on my shoes and pressed clothing. I've never owned a pair of blue jeans, never worn a t-shirt as an outer garment and have never worn a pair of shorts or tennis shoes unless I was on my way to the gym or jogging track. God forbid that I would put on a pair of sandals because where I come from only queers wear sandals. Flip-flops were something that only poor kids in underdeveloped countries wore in public; otherwise, they were only meant for the beach or the shower room.
Growing up I used to spend hours looking at my family’s old photo albums and watching old movies on TV. I was amazed that men, even the poor ones, were always dressed in shirt and tie or coat and tie, and there seemed to be no such thing as "casual dress" during the era of my parents. Every occasion was an occasion to “dress up”. When I first started traveling to Asia for business in the late 70's, I began to notice a major evolution in the way that Americans dressed. Walking through an American airport back then, one would only see travelers dressed in their best attire. 24 hours later I would be on the streets of Manila and see poor folks in t-shirts, shorts and flip-flops. Over the years as I would return to the States, after being away for months at a time, I began to observe that the American public started looking more and more like the poor folks in the streets of Manila. At the same time the Filipino middle class was emerging as a major economic force, and they aspired to emulate the upper class. I never saw an upper class Filipino “dress down” for any occasion. Now what you have in America is a generation of older fathers who have no interest in “dressing up” to set a high standard for their children, but men with no backbone who prefer to emulate the modern culture and “dress down” to fit in with their children. They’re no longer interested in raising the bar, taking the high road and being a good example/role model for this wayward generation, but they would rather just be their children’s “best friend”. God forbid they should offend or embarrass one of them by “dressing old-fashioned”. So now we have grandfathers running around with long hair and ponytails, earrings, piercings and tattoos and wearing tie dyed t-shirts, knee length basketball uniform shorts and flip flops.
When I first came to Udon I tried to go the polo shirt, shorts and tennis shoe route, but it just isn’t me! My wife would never dare say a word against it, but I could tell that she wasn’t comfortable with it. And I disagree with the poster that said all Thai women who are married with falangs have already lost face no matter how their husband dresses. There’s not a community on the planet that doesn’t form an opinion of a person based on their mode of dress and first appearance. So, when I’m out and about in town I’m back to wearing Docker type or dress long pants, a nice short-sleeved Thai silk shirt and comfortable dress shoes with socks (carry a shoe horn in my pocket, so shoes go on and off easily). Hair is neatly trimmed and always clean shaven. No matter where my wife and I go, it never fails that more than one lady will approach my wife and make the comment that they have never seen a falang that looked so neat. When we go to the small market in her provincial village of Phon Sa, all the vendors and shoppers gawk like they’ve just seen an alien. What they expect to see is the dishelved, tattooed beer belly bloke that dishonors Thai women and looks poorer than the poorest of Thais.
So what am I trying to say here? I’m not quite sure…just making some observations to give us all something to think about. Whether we like it or not we must all deal with cultural norms, stereotyping, prejudices, paradigms, bigotry, racism and the like. I’m not writing this letter to rattle my own chain, and I’m not trying to be critical of anyone…it’s your life so you live it the way you want to. Heck, I wear boxer shorts all day around the house, and if I’m going a couple hundred meters from the house to grab a quick bowl of noodle soup, I’ll throw on a t-shirt and some swim trunks and slippers. But next time you’re headed to town, just remember that people are watching us, and whether we like it or not we are a role model and example of the infamous western societies to the Thai public and especially to a new generation of younger Thai students who are out and about by the droves. We represent our heritage, our family and our country of citizenship, and the way we dress, groom and carry ourselves leaves an indelible impression on those who cross our path. Wouldn’t it be to all’s advantage to leave a favorable and respectable impression?
For those of you who have decided to just come to Thailand and drop out of the human race, then this post is not for you. For those of us who might be fence sitters, maybe there’s a little nugget of truth and understanding here for those who have an ear to listen and a heart to receive.
I wrote this post earlier today and was unsure if I wanted it to go to press, so I saved it and headed to UD Town for dinner out with my wife and another couple. I couldn’t believe the number of hideous looking falangs that crossed in front of our sidewalk table in a one hour period of time. If there had been a foxhole under my table I would have crawled in it out of shear embarrassment for them. Now…I know what you’re thinking….who does this guy think he is? Hey…if the shoes fits then wear it! If none of this registers with you, or you just don’t care, then both of us have just had five minutes of mental stimulation that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. Cheers to all and to all a good night!
I would disagree however about the smart Thai blokes . There are a few, but there is also many scruffs as well .Sadly I think it is a general decline in all age groups and nationalities . :-"
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