I was thinking

Post by **trubrit** » August 17, 2011, 6:37 am

Surprised you don't use one of these O/T

product_burma_shave_brush_features_375x350.jpg

Post by **joebloger** » August 17, 2011, 7:58 am

You got to have Brains to be able to think

Post by **splasher** » August 17, 2011, 2:30 pm

So use it, joebloger...or has someone else got the family brain cell this week??

Post by **old-timer** » August 17, 2011, 9:54 pm

Whilst OT was down the pub lunchtime having a couple of pints and a bowl of sweet chillie noodles with chicken, a couple of lesbians walked in and parked up on a table between me and the BBC news I was watching on the wall mounted plasma screen.
A bit awkward to say the least. I was thinking of how I could manage to keep a straight face, watch the WFB lesbians having a kiss and cuddle and the BBC news all at the same time.
I couldn't do anything to save myself. The lesbians caught me staring, I missed the news and ended up leaving laughing so much. I didn't even got a round in.

OT............. $\:D/$

Post by **bigsnake** » August 18, 2011, 5:41 pm

I was THINKING!! Does anyone know when the NEW and Improve Central will OPEN?

Post by **old-timer** » August 21, 2011, 1:30 am

After the Arsenal Liverpool game this afternoon Jamie Carragher was asked on Sky sports about his thoughts on the game. He is an Englishman that is completely incomprehensible as he uses the Liverpool language which at best is like listening to a WC cistern re-filling - waste of TV time in OTs opinion. However I did understand everything Luis Suarez said.
Moving on to something completely unrelated, a Chinese couple are seeking compensation after a monkey escaped and bit off their eight month old son's testicle at a Zoo in Guizhou, south-west China. OT has been thinking about this for the best part of today and my question is this - How ? do you, as a caring parent allow your eight month old baby have his testicle available for a monkey to bite off ?

OT................ $\:D/$

Post by **old-timer** » August 22, 2011, 1:07 am

OT was thinking...is it possible to eject from a helicopter ? And would, in case of an emergency you give it a try to eject or take your chances on a crash landing ? Anyway, if you are in an apache helicopter you can safely eject from your aircraft because the copter blades will, according to reports, fall off before your head will hit them.

OT................ $\:D/$

Post by **parrot** » August 22, 2011, 8:56 am

I've been in a helicopter only one time.....a low level flight through the valleys of Panama. The sensation is similar to what you experience in the front seat of a Thai van/bus with a banshee driver who's got Buddha decals stuck all over the windshield. Two feet between you and a piece of plexiglass and a sheet of steel. Chances of survival slim but probably better than that of ejecting.

Post by JR » August 22, 2011, 1:52 pm

old-timer wrote:OT was thinking...is it possible to eject from a helicopter ? And would, in case of an emergency you give it a try to eject or take your chances on a crash landing ? Anyway, if you are in an apache helicopter you can safely eject from your aircraft because the copter blades will, according to reports, fall off before your head will hit them.

OT................ $\:D/$

No need to eject. Just jump from the side door.

Post by **old-timer** » August 27, 2011, 3:47 am

OT was looking at a report today that said that a third of women in the UK leave the shower on to shave their legs, wasting enough water alone to supply London for 25 days, also one in four people leave the tap on whilst brushing their teeth wasting another major quantity according to Thames water. OT has never turned off the tap whilst brushing his teeth.
Which got me thinking about something else. The doors that lead you into the shopping centre.
There are one or two automatic opening doors for the physically or mentally impaired people and at least one manual door that you need to raise your hand and push to gain entrance. Why? do fat people always use the disabled door? If we need to save energy we need to fine the obese for using the disabled door that need about 10 calories to open.

OT................ $\:D/$

Post by **Jello** » August 27, 2011, 11:20 pm

Post by **old-timer** » September 3, 2011, 11:43 pm

OT got back from the public house this afternoon and was and looking out the window from my place in Hampshire England, daydreaming as usual and suddenly realised I had come across the hardest 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle in the world - so I took a picture of it;

I was thinking of sending it to the makers of jigsaws to make a bit of money.

OT........................ $\:D/$

Post by **old-timer** » September 10, 2011, 12:02 pm

OT was thinking - Is it best to pop a large black pinch on your finger with a pin to release the blood or just leave it ? It was inevitable I would get injured the moment I picked up a hammer.
Moving on - England have got Argentina today so that is plenty good enough reason to go to the pub and watch the game. burp.

OT.................... $\:D/$

Post by **Sateev** » September 10, 2011, 3:18 pm

Under your fingernail, pop it. Under the skin, leave it.

Post by **fatbob** » September 10, 2011, 3:41 pm

OT, sharp small drill bit between the fingers, turn it to and fro untill through, instant pressure relief and you might even save your nail, pour betadine down the hole after. If its a good one the blood might even shoot out like a fountain, make sure your sitting down, the pressure release can make the knees buckle. Have done this a few times, the draw back of being a carpenter.

Post by **old-timer** » September 10, 2011, 7:41 pm

coxo wrote:OT, sharp small drill bit between the fingers, turn it to and fro untill through, instant pressure relief and you might even save your nail, pour betadine down the hole after. If its a good one the blood might even shoot out like a fountain, make sure your sitting down, the pressure release can make the knees buckle. Have done this a few times, the draw back of being a carpenter.

---- that.

OT.............. $\:D/$

Post by **jackspratt** » September 10, 2011, 9:23 pm

old-timer wrote:
coxo wrote:OT, sharp small drill bit between the fingers, turn it to and fro untill through, instant pressure relief and you might even save your nail, pour betadine down the hole after. If its a good one the blood might even shoot out like a fountain, make sure your sitting down, the pressure release can make the knees buckle. Have done this a few times, the draw back of being a carpenter.
---- that.

OT.............. $\:D/$

Pussycat.

Post by **old-timer** » September 19, 2011, 3:18 am

OT was at Queens college today having a few light ales after watching the rugby and two quotations gave me cause to think:

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

and

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

The first thought was by Clement Freud and the second by Benjamin Franklin.
OT read both quotes written on the wall whilst taking a p1ss.

OT...... $\:D/$

Post by **AroyFarang** » September 19, 2011, 5:19 am

I was thinking..........

In various studies since the 1980's its a verified scientific fact that people who refer to themselves in the third person suffer from various mental illnesses.

Post by **Sateev** » September 19, 2011, 9:19 am

AroyFarang wrote:I was thinking..........

In various studies since the 1980's its a verified scientific fact that people who refer to themselves in the third person suffer from various mental illnesses.

"Depersonalization", said Sateev.