You really cant tell can you? (Wife leaves me)

[jai yen yen]

BenZona,

Couldn't agree with you more! I cant understand a couple of people on here giving you a hard time. Your story is a very sad one and my heart goes out to you. You have every right to be angry. In fact i think you have shown a great deal of restraint!

Thanks Aroy, thats what people in the real world are saying, My friends are surprised how well ive held it together....any lesser bloke would have lost it with more than a couple of ****** net jockeys by now, but i have not.... and talking of them

I am thinking maybe your wife left you because you are a..hole. She may have realized that during the course of the relationship and decided to hang in until she had some security for herself and the baby. That makes her sensible in my opinion. It is always too easy too listen to one side and blame the other without hearing or knowing both sides of the story. There are a lot of good Thai women out there and for those reading this forum they should know not all of us are going to automatically blame the Thai lady. Your attitude and the language you have used have brought me to this conclusion. Your wife may be bad news but you definately don"t appear to be any prize.

GREAT justification for stealing thousands of $$$ from someone, stealing their child and lying for two years... lets hope it happens to you too someday... lets hope your son vanishes in the middle of the night, and that your world is turned upside down.. Noone forced her to get on the plane, no one forced her to have two holidays here, noone forced her to come and meet me in bangkok when i arrived, noone forced her to do ANYTHING did they, if she REALLY wanted security and i WAS that bad, then she would have stayed at home wouldn't she and not scammed a visa by writing stat decs saying i was a good man who she loved deeply only SIX months ago would she.....


"oh, my boyfriend/husband is so bad to me, he is violent, he is nasty, but, i wont leave him whilst he is in Australia and i am at home in Udon, Ill wait, write letters saying how nice he is to immigration, visit him, marry him, have his child, have two holidays and then, when i get my visa, ill leave him"
and you are claiming this as "normal" behaviour to end a relationship.. IDIOT

Your response to my submission is exactly what I expected from someone like you, as well there is nothing normal about you and your situation and I never said there was. There is more to being a father than making a woman pregnant. Your attitude and behaviour towards your ex will make it impossible to have a good relationship with the boy, even if what you have said about her is true she is the mother and you would have to deal with that in a mature reasonable way. I think though you are more concerned about your ego and the fact you were dumped than about the child. But like you said, You really can't tell can you?

[Barstool]

God! Nine pages of this self-indulgence. The sooner the OP got out there and adopted a more positive approach rather than subjecting one and all to this agonising perpetuation the better.
From what I can see I believe this Thai lady shows great strength of character to have sort independence and a better life in a foreign land rather than lanquish with some foul-mouthed couch potato.
"Net ******", by his definition I may be, but I'd still say it to his face.
Good for you girl, all the best with your life.

[trubrit]

Not wishing to take sides in this saga but I really would love to hear her side of the story. However I must say to the OP have you considered your son will have inherited 50% of his mothers genes and if she is as bad as the picture you paint of her, there is a good chance he too will display many of the characteristics you so obviously despise. How will you cope then?

[pompui]

Good for you girl, all the best with your life.

Since i know some farang who have actually met her then I think not ,do you mean good on yer girl,once all this court custody is finished then go and scam another Aussie to get the best out of her life.

Will we ever know if she had any feelings towards her son or just to use her body to bring a child into this life for her own personal gain

[jai yen yen]

Interesting that you know some farang that have met her and could see she was bad news but the man she was with for over 3 years could not.

[pompui]

i think Benzona has already responded to that in a previous post Jai Yen Yen but no one had any idea she was after citizenship/benefits(personal gain) than wanting as much as Benzona to have a child together and to love the son together.Can only see that he would take care of the son,a brother for his existing daughter,for her it sounds all about personal gain and if getting pregnant gets you those benefits then so be it .
Had only met her once,them about a dozen times each

[fatbob]

I wish people would stop posting on this one sided bloody boring topic, man meets girl, they break up, happens to everyone, thats life, get over it.

[Barstool]

I wish people would stop posting on this one sided bloody boring topic, man meets girl, they break up, happens to everyone, thats life, get over it.

In a nutshell coxo, nicely put. The whole saga has brought a drip to my eye.

[BenZona]

Good for you girl, all the best with your life.

Since i know some farang who have actually met her then I think not ,do you mean good on yer girl,once all this court custody is finished then go and scam another Aussie to get the best out of her life.

Will we ever know if she had any feelings towards her son or just to use her body to bring a child into this life for her own personal gain

Thanks mate, I know i only met you a few times but you and me both know people who know her and have for almost our whole time together, and i was warned... just not about this!

i think Benzona has already responded to that in a previous post Jai Yen Yen but no one had any idea she was after citizenship/benefits(personal gain) than wanting as much as Benzona to have a child together and to love the son together.Can only see that he would take care of the son,a brother for his existing daughter,for her it sounds all about personal gain and if getting pregnant gets you those benefits then so be it .
Had only met her once,them about a dozen times each

Thanks again for the real life comments, and you are right... even Mr Moto didnt pick this one did he? and he helped us get all that paperwork together and stuff like that..... I remember him and frank telling me at bamboo that she was nutty..... even compared to the usual Thai nuttiness.. Now i/we KNOW it was all planned, it makes me feel pretty stupid

You know what i think of this place, to be honest its just a bit of an online vent avenue, im actually surprised the "usual suspects" are keeping quiet on here in relation to me.... (thanks guys) as for the rest of the insulter's, honestly, i dont give a toss about them, They don't know what is going on or, more importantly what HAS gone on, people like you, Frank and Pete do.

All i care about is getting him back, letting my daughter have her brother, and never EVER having anything to do with her again except for the odd changeover meeting

Im glad she has gone, and so is my little one

and with over 5000 views, if i help one single farang from making the (now known to be) mistake i did, then flaming from a couple of drongos is a small price to pay

[BenZona]

There is more to being a father than making a woman pregnant. Your attitude and behaviour towards your ex will make it impossible to have a good relationship with the boy, even if what you have said about her is true she is the mother and you would have to deal with that in a mature reasonable way. ?

Yes mate, thats why i am the primary carer of a 12 year old girl that was awarded to me by a court, because i dont know how to be a parent, or how to put aside feelings about ex partners in raising a child... Im a crap person, a crap father, and a useless human, yet i look after a 12 year old girl who is gifted, polite, intelligent and happy.... well spotted... you picked the situation perfectly didn't you?

Maybe you should be a family law court judge, Or a psychologist, cos you obviously know more than they do/did when i won my other custody case... =D>

[Barstool]

Good for you girl, all the best with your life.

Since i know some farang who have actually met her then I think not ,do you mean good on yer girl,once all this court custody is finished then go and scam another Aussie to get the best out of her life.

Yep; the Rule of Law will prevail and then the Laws of Survival will take over. Fair play to the winner/s in both. Being easily misled and gullible are grounds for culpability, and not for persecution.

[jai yen yen]

There is more to being a father than making a woman pregnant. Your attitude and behaviour towards your ex will make it impossible to have a good relationship with the boy, even if what you have said about her is true she is the mother and you would have to deal with that in a mature reasonable way. ?

Yes mate, thats why i am the primary carer of a 12 year old girl that was awarded to me by a court, because i dont know how to be a parent, or how to put aside feelings about ex partners in raising a child... Im a crap person, a crap father, and a useless human, yet i look after a 12 year old girl who is gifted, polite, intelligent and happy.... well spotted... you picked the situation perfectly didn't you?

Maybe you should be a family law court judge, Or a psychologist, cos you obviously know more than they do/did when i won my other custody case... =D>

Sounds like you are repeating history with your relationships.

[BenZona]

Sounds like you are repeating history with your relationships.

Wow, another amazing piece of detective work. Congrats on your powers of deduction, you have picked me spot on, I guess i am the only man on this planet who has had more than one child with more than one partner and more than one relationship eh?

What would you suggest? a "one case per life" rule for fathers with a big red stamp that says "failure" after the case is finished so that they don't waste the courts time again.

Do you actually think i WANT to go through this again, that i am choosing to have to go to court in order to see my four month old son. OF COURSE NOT, up until 7 weeks ago i did t know id married a scamming bitch ***** did i?

You really are pretty stupid aren't you?

[nkstan]

Assuming that all you say is true,and nobody here knows different.Don't buy in to your detractors BZ!Obviously they are either above normal feelings,have learned to stuff their anger(non-therapeutic),have not experienced the emotional rip-off or just a-holes because they are judging you unfairly by your expressing your emotions(very therapeutic)!
You will find that there are many of this type here,alongside the ones in denial,that preach rosiness.
Those that suggest counseling,don't even understand the process!Probably think that a counselor gives you a pill or a magic answer!Idiots,trying to elevate their low self-esteem at your expense!
Cursing and expressing your anger on an anonymous forum is good and proper,IMO,so vent as long as you feel the need,eventually the need will go away and you won't vent at them as they are doing to you!

[Dr. James]

Dear BZ,

I understand your pain for your situation and the need to vent. Anger is a natural emotion after discovering the love of your life is not that. I would advise caution in how you vent your anger. Your wife (she is not your ex yet) has only to download this forum and make the argument that you present a danger to her and indirectly your child and you will end up with only supervised visitation for the forseeable future. Take the high road and stay on it. It will work out better for you.

Dr.James

[BenZona]

Assuming that all you say is true,and nobody here knows different.Don't buy in to your detractors BZ!Obviously they are either above normal feelings,have learned to stuff their anger(non-therapeutic),have not experienced the emotional rip-off or just a-holes because they are judging you unfairly by your expressing your emotions(very therapeutic)!
You will find that there are many of this type here,alongside the ones in denial,that preach rosiness.
Those that suggest counseling,don't even understand the process!Probably think that a counselor gives you a pill or a magic answer!Idiots,trying to elevate their low self-esteem at your expense!
Cursing and expressing your anger on an anonymous forum is good and proper,IMO,so vent as long as you feel the need,eventually the need will go away and you won't vent at them as they are doing to you!

Thanks for understanding Stan, I wish i was making this up, but im not, its all true. I have to admit, that since i found out she actually got her full time visa this week i have had a much harder time coping with my feelings of anger, but the feeling of anger is still only about 10% of my real feelings, Im relieved she has gone, im sad that i have not seen my son for nearly two months , and im sickened that i have been taken for a (retrospectively obvious) ride

Dear BZ,

I understand your pain for your situation and the need to vent. Anger is a natural emotion after discovering the love of your life is not that. I would advise caution in how you vent your anger. Your wife (she is not your ex yet) has only to download this forum and make the argument that you present a danger to her and indirectly your child and you will end up with only supervised visitation for the forseeable future. Take the high road and stay on it. It will work out better for you.

Dr.James

and thanks for the advice Dr. I hear what you are saying but, and its a big but, i think the worst i have done in this thread is explain what has happened, and told people how i feel and what i think of her. No threats, no violence, no nothing except expressing my emotions and saying i want nothing more to do with her

If you can see where i have made any kind of threats that would warrant supervised contact, please let me know where they are.

This forum is going to help me, not her. i already know that 100% (and im not having a go at you )

[AroyFarang]

BenZona,

nkstan puts it best. These guys giving you a hard time are obviously living with their head in the clouds! By giving you a hard time they are trying to reassure themselves that their relationship is solid. Maybe they forgot somebody who stuck their hand down their throat, ripped out their heart and ate it right in front of them. Maybe its been years since they even experienced ANY emotion!

Im sickened by their quips, their comments and them in General. I understand what you are going through. I just hope that if this ever happens to me, I can show as much restraint as you. If you feel that this is helping you please use it! And dont worry about writing on a public forum. There isnt anything here that wont be said in court anyway. Just because you call this person a few names doesn't mean you are going to loose a court case because of it! It sounds to me like she is using her Thai logic in Australia. Not very clever and I look forward to you telling us how the Judge wiped the floor with her. Pity they don't have a jail sentence for betrayal, if they did she should get life!

Hold it together BZ, you are doing great. Keep it up!

[BenZona]

BenZona,

nkstan puts it best. These guys giving you a hard time are obviously living with their head in the clouds! By giving you a hard time they are trying to reassure themselves that their relationship is solid. Maybe they forgot somebody who stuck their hand down their throat, ripped out their heart and ate it right in front of them. Maybe its been years since they even experienced ANY emotion!

I think that some of them are so used to exchanging money for what they think is love that they are now conditioned to accept it as the norm, you know what i mean, sitting all night in nutty park thinking the girls really like then, when in fact they only like their wallets

Im sickened by their quips, their comments and them in General.

Im not sickened by them, they are just sad

I understand what you are going through. I just hope that if this ever happens to me, I can show as much restraint as you.

Thanks again, it has been so hard to keep my calm, but i have. I have friends who have kept me in check. Id like to see anyone else sit calmly at home dissecting affidavits that are, quite frankly so full of contradictions that is makes me want to vomit every time i read them

If you feel that this is helping you please use it! And dont worry about writing on a public forum. There isnt anything here that wont be said in court anyway.

All except "bitch *****" like i said earlier there are threads on here from over two years ago which will be used against her, She should have read this forum before saying certain things under sworn oath. Lets face it, i would not have conversations two years ago where i would lie, just in case i needed them two years later when a bitch ***** puts into place the final phase of her visa scam plan

Just because you call this person a few names doesn't mean you are going to loose a court case because of it! It sounds to me like she is using her Thai logic in Australia. Not very clever and I look forward to you telling us how the Judge wiped the floor with her. Pity they don't have a jail sentence for betrayal, if they did she should get life!

Ive been told that, its going to be hard to get him home this week but, there is a chance, in the long run though, she is doomed to failure. You cant tell a court you want to leave Australia and then spend the actual time you have been saying that arranging a full time visa to live here. Like i said before, it wont surprise me if she latches onto another mug over here pretty quickly to boost her case, i feel sorry for whoever she meets next

Hold it together BZ, you are doing great. Keep it up!

THANK YOU, im trying my best.... only 24 hours to go

[jackspratt]

I have no comment to make on the merits or otherwise of you case, because there are always 2 sides to any relationship break-up.

However, your constant use of the crude and offensive term "bitch *****" (about any woman, let alone your wife and mother of your child) gives you no credit whatsoever in my view.

[BenZona]

However, your constant use of the crude and offensive term "bitch *****" (about any woman, let alone your wife and mother of your child) gives you no credit whatsoever in my view.

Why, degrading to wimmen???----------------------------------------------------> (points at avatar of yours )

I have not seen my son for seven weeks (thats the bitch part clarified)
and she married me, got pregnant, made me pay for her visa and then left seven weeks after getting it (thats the ***** part clarified)

suggest some alternatives.. maybe cow tart, user prossie? im open to suggestions

and its only been three days, not constant