what has my wife got me into ? she bought some land

[jai yen yen]

OK
I’m a very suspicious person if something seems too good to be true!!! You know the rest

So my wife has bought some land of her aunt apparently it’s a good plot sitting in an up and coming area

This is where I get very suspicious

The aunt has apparently been offered 350,000 for the plot from developers but has insisted that she sells the land to her niece for 200,000

The land is tied up in a bank loan of some description which is finishing soon and is currently lying un-developed

A long time ago an acquaintances Thai wife was ripped off by a relative selling land to her which is lingering in the back of my mind
So if this deal is real and now my wife owns this plot of land what’s the catch?
Is there hidden taxes waiting to be paid any sort of liability on my wife’s side what am I looking for to make sure that everything is ok
Thanks for any and all advice

I would say what has your wife got herself into, If my lady did this to me without prior discussion and agreement I would take no responsibility at all. I don't care what she or the family would say. Her problem to pay the bill. Now is the time to set the ground rules with her and the family or the problems will never stop. If she has a problem with this get a new wife. This sounds like you are being played. Stand up for yourself now.

I think your totaly wrong...his wife follows the normal procedure out on the country about ownership for land!

What I was referring to was doing a deal without giving her husband all the details than expecting him to pay the bill. Plus daughter borrowing money from mommy to pay auntie who the farang than repays. if that sounds good to you than good luck.

[Frankie 1]

I would say what has your wife got herself into, If my lady did this to me without prior discussion and agreement I would take no responsibility at all. I don't care what she or the family would say. Her problem to pay the bill. Now is the time to set the ground rules with her and the family or the problems will never stop. If she has a problem with this get a new wife . This sounds like you are being played. Stand up for yourself now.

What I was referring to was doing a deal without giving her husband all the details than expecting him to pay the bill. Plus daughter borrowing money from mommy to pay auntie who the farang than repays. if that sounds good to you than good luck.

Interesting Jai yen yen. So your wife has nothing to say and isn't allowed to have a mind of her own? Is she your slave or your maid? In your opinion, does a marriage only mean something if the husband controls the wife? Is your living room something like a courtroom where you question everything your wife does?

Then good luck to you...

[Jello]

the key words are discussion and agreement Frankie.

[trubrit]

Interesting Jai yen yen. So your wife has nothing to say and isn't allowed to have a mind of her own? Is she your slave or your maid? In your opinion, does a marriage only mean something if the husband controls the wife? Is your living room something like a courtroom where you question everything your wife does?

Then good luck to you...

The topic under discussion was ,I think, a wife buying some land without prior consultation .It is a big jump, requiring a vivid imagination, to jump from there to likening his living room to a courtroom, controlling her every movement . :-"
I agree with JYY. Whilst my wife is treated as an equal in most respects, I too would come down with a heavy hand had she made such an important commitment that has potential repercussions on our joint income, without consulting me first .
Then again she wouldn't have done so. It is not only impolite but shows where her priorities lie, and it certainly isn't in this case, with her husband, which in turn would cause me, as JYY suggests, to reconsider the entire relationship .

[jai yen yen]

I would say what has your wife got herself into, If my lady did this to me without prior discussion and agreement I would take no responsibility at all. I don't care what she or the family would say. Her problem to pay the bill. Now is the time to set the ground rules with her and the family or the problems will never stop. If she has a problem with this get a new wife . This sounds like you are being played. Stand up for yourself now.

What I was referring to was doing a deal without giving her husband all the details than expecting him to pay the bill. Plus daughter borrowing money from mommy to pay auntie who the farang than repays. if that sounds good to you than good luck.

Interesting Jai yen yen. So your wife has nothing to say and isn't allowed to have a mind of her own? Is she your slave or your maid? In your opinion, does a marriage only mean something if the husband controls the wife? Is your living room something like a courtroom where you question everything your wife does?

Then good luck to you...

Hit a sore spot with you did I? My wife can do whatever she wants with her money, no questions asked or expected. If it involves my or our money than we discuss it together. I have several properties from before we got together and we jointly discuss selling them and all the details as well because it affects our life and future together. I would never make a decision involving our life together with out talking to my lady and she would do the same for me. In my opinion that is a true partnership and we are both quite happy. No slaves, maids or buffalo in our family.

[Frankie 1]

Hit a sore spot with you did I? My wife can do whatever she wants with her money, no questions asked or expected. If it involves my or our money than we discuss it together. I have several properties from before we got together and we jointly discuss selling them and all the details as well because it affects our life and future together. I would never make a decision involving our life together with out talking to my lady and she would do the same for me. In my opinion that is a true partnership and we are both quite happy. No slaves, maids or buffalo in our family.

Sore spot? Not really. I'm not the one who wants to control everything. Yes, it's control behaviour if you need to discuss everything, if you need to know everything, then you are too scared that something might happen behind your back. So, if she doesn't tell you everything, what makes you think it's all bad. Not able to trust your own wife?

My wife is able to make valuable decisions on her own, in both our interest and I can trust her with that. She doesn't need to run to me to discuss everything, she's not a child.


But this topic is not about your wife or my wife. So, this girl studies for her master degree and is prepared to go to an other country to do some extra studies, before going to work there. This sounds more like a dedicated wife, who is motivated to make her marriage work.

Some people on this forum have read StickmanBKK to often and expect sick buffalos behind every corner. I pity you, you must be very scared lonely people, not able to trust anybody.

[Glyn]

This is a real simple one, for you and anybody else thinking of buying land, never part with money until you are at the land office doing the deal, and only deal in land with Chanod titles, anything else is just too complicated and too risky. I'm sure there are people out there with success stories, whereby they purchased land without chanod, and have either since acquired the chanod or successfully sold the land on, but it's still an unknown certainty.

If there is outstanding finance on this land the chanod will be held by the bank or have the debt written on the back of the title, which means the Land office would want that cleared before transferring ownership, to know if you have successfully done a deal your wife's name will be now written on the front of the chanod. If you've bought the land on promises then may god be with you, for as honest as your wife may be, can that really extend to the rest of her distant family.

Thais are easily led by family pressures, it doesn't mean we have to be.

Hoping and not intending to offend anybody, and good luck with the transaction Bob.

[Frankie 1]

The topic under discussion was ,I think, a wife buying some land without prior consultation .It is a big jump, requiring a vivid imagination, to jump from there to likening his living room to a courtroom, controlling her every movement . :-"

You mix-up different quotes. I was referring to a Jai yen yen quote:

"Now is the time to set the ground rules with her and the family or the problems will never stop.... If she has a problem with this get a new wife."


The topic was buying land, yes, so what's the problem then, it's common use in villages to buy and sell pieces of land and to borrow money between family members. why assume per definition it's bad behaviour if you don't know her or her family?

Isn't it projecting your own bad experiences on somebody you don't know or on other people's family members you don't know?

[tonytuy2005]

Please everybody stop to buy land for gf or wife in this country !!! It's just a cheating people, they find all the excuse for let us invest money in the ****** land whitout value and over price !!!! land outside ring-road can not be over 100.000 bth x rai , out 10 km no more than 20.000 bth x rai !!!!!! They push the price over 10 time because some stupid farang don't know the system !!!!! Open your eyes !!!!!!!

[parrot]

My money, your money? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but with the exception of what I'd consider chump change (<a few hundred dollars), I wouldn't go out and spend a few thousand dollars without clearing it with the wife.....and would expect her to do the same. It doesn't matter if the money came from my pension or her social security or an inheritance from a family member. If she wants a new pair of shoes, I'll clinch my teeth and let her add another to her collection, just as she does when I buy a new tool........but if she decides to add to the car collection, I'd expect to be consulted beforehand. We don't do it out of distrust....but more out of consideration for what's ours, not what's mine or what's yours.
JMHO

[jai yen yen]

My money, your money? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but with the exception of what I'd consider chump change (<a few hundred dollars), I wouldn't go out and spend a few thousand dollars without clearing it with the wife.....and would expect her to do the same. It doesn't matter if the money came from my pension or her social security or an inheritance from a family member. If she wants a new pair of shoes, I'll clinch my teeth and let her add another to her collection, just as she does when I buy a new tool........but if she decides to add to the car collection, I'd expect to be consulted beforehand. We don't do it out of distrust....but more out of consideration for what's ours, not what's mine or what's yours.
JMHO

That is exactly what I meant.

[jai yen yen]

The topic under discussion was ,I think, a wife buying some land without prior consultation .It is a big jump, requiring a vivid imagination, to jump from there to likening his living room to a courtroom, controlling her every movement . :-"

You mix-up different quotes. I was referring to a Jai yen yen quote:

"Now is the time to set the ground rules with her and the family or the problems will never stop.... If she has a problem with this get a new wife."


The topic was buying land, yes, so what's the problem then, it's common use in villages to buy and sell pieces of land and to borrow money between family members. why assume per definition it's bad behaviour if you don't know her or her family?

Isn't it projecting your own bad experiences on somebody you don't know or on other people's family members you don't know?

It is bad behaviour because the husband now has to pay the bill. If he came home and told his wife he had just borrowed from his mother to buy some land and his wife had to pay for it I don't think she would be pleased either. If you are comfortable with your wife buying what she wants than telling you to pay for it good for you,not my style. Remember a buffalo is happy being led around by the nose thinking he is going to get some good grazing and a roll in the water until one day he arrives at the village barbecue. P.S. I have never had a problem with my lady or her family regarding money or anything else.

[Ray.Charles]

It is more than the assets that should be considered as belonging to both, and therefore discussed in making a financial decision. Presumably the decision would be better when coming from two brains instead of one.

[Frankie 1]

It is bad behaviour because the husband now has to pay the bill. If he came home and told his wife he had just borrowed from his mother to buy some land and his wife had to pay for it I don't think she would be pleased either. If you are comfortable with your wife buying what she wants than telling you to pay for it good for you,not my style.

First of all it depends on their financial situation. Who said he has to pay the bill? If she is able to study for a master degree, then she might as well have enough education already to get a job with enough salary on her own to support herself. So why would that be an issue?

Maybe the issue here is if a woman is able to support herself, or if she is dependent on a sponsor.

If she were a poor uneducated farm girl and he would have to finance everything she did, then it would be a different story. But I don't believe this is the case here. Further, if she is going to work in a westrern country, she will be able to earn more money, probably enough to buy the whole village. Up to her/them.

He wrote that his wife is smart and sensible, and he didn't write that he disagrees with paying for the land. He just asked if it is normal that land changes hands like this between family members and if the deal was too good to be true.

Several posters have already confirmed that selling and buying land in villages and between family members is normal in villages.

Some wild assumptions about buffalos, sponsoring and scams is just the wild fantasy of some other members, or maybe that's all they know. Further, if your rules in your home work for you, then great. This doesn't necessarily have to apply to every household or to every situation. Not everybody has to copy your situation or your rules. Maybe some people are more trustworthy than others, so this probably means different rules for different people.

[Jello]

Who said he has to pay the bill?

The OP.

the wife has borrewd the money from her parents

and i will have to pay it back eventully on a timescale to be confirmed hence my concern on has she thrown the money away !!!!!

[Frankie 1]

Who said he has to pay the bill?

The OP.

the wife has borrewd the money from her parents

and i will have to pay it back eventully on a timescale to be confirmed hence my concern on has she thrown the money away !!!!!

"eventully on a timescale to be confirmed"

So, the issue/question isn't the payment, but the issue/question is if buying the land is a waste of money or not.

[newtovillagelife]

Hi all,

Been reading this thread and I am a little confused, before everyone talks about what they paid for a plot of land why not let us know how many RAI it is. I believe that will help determine the 'ripped off factor' otherwise this is just needless ranting and chatter.

[parrot]

"Been reading this thread and I am a little confused, before everyone talks about what they paid for a plot of land why not let us know how many RAI it is. I believe that will help determine the 'ripped off factor' otherwise this is just needless ranting and chatter."

Knowing how many rai will help....but having a proper land paper in hand with your wife's signature is the key.
I don't see the comments as ranting and chatter, but rather things that are taught in WBU 101. You can accept what the professors are lecturing or learn on your own as you go. In the end, everyone takes the same final exam. Some pass, some fail miserably.

[lepidoptra]

"Been reading this thread and I am a little confused,

Exactly the reason that I suggested we wait until we hear from the OP and stop all these speculative and quite unnecessary
postings

[trubrit]

"Been reading this thread and I am a little confused,

Exactly the reason that I suggested we wait until we hear from the OP and stop all these speculative and quite unnecessary
postings

I don't think Parrot said that. :-" Perhaps as a moderator he would learn to use the Quote button to avoid confusion. :-"