Female Advice: New Thai Girlfriend/Money

[udonthani]

Hi Canadianguy, I have been following this topic here since your first arrival, and I must say I am a little surprised about many of the answ. you have got, but I must also admit that many is damnd right, look up ,if she starts to ask for money to anything. I have now been happily married to a Thai girl for more than 8 years now, she came from a "Poor"
family, but none has ever asked me for money, she has a very good job as supervisor at a big hotel, but she also tells me that unfortunately it is very common for a Thai girl (special Esan girls) when she get an relationsship with a farang is to start "mikling" him for money, and special if he is in his homeland, it could be a seek mother, farther, dentist, doctor, cow or anything else. Quite often she is under hard pressure from her family, but very often she is calculating and give a damn in the person but only is interessed in his money, and she is prepared to go very long to achieve her goal, money.
These words came from a Thai girl, and I can only add, look up, not all are cold harted and calculating, and it can be very difficult to destinguish between good and bad girls, but use your life experience and think with the right head, The one on top of you and NOT the other.

[pienmash]

A very honest poat from the OP .

Obviously not all Thai ladies are in the same mould as the one dicussed in this thread ,, so we should tar all with the same brush ... there are numerous genuine Thai lasses of varying ages looking for a non Thai byfrnd or husband .

Whilst i had the club in Pattaya there were 70-80 lasses working as dances , service , hostess and bar tenders ... 99 % had more than one foreign sponsor some had several , along with visa applications to go to the home country of the fella who just happened to fall for her "charms" ... whist i dont condone this practice it makes me shake my head in bisbeleif when i opening told a customer tha the lady he had bar fined was an out n out player and just enjoy and forgat her ,,, yet he still sent her money , bought cars and built her house etc etc ,,, even when he couldnt get hold of her "she was in the temple" he swallowed it ... then when arriving in LOS for his dream trip and new life finding she had married a Singaroean and moved to live there ..... he dropt by the club shorly before we sold up and said he shud have listened to mine and others advice ,,, too late ,,,, the last time i bumped into him he was doing it all again with a gogo dancer from walking st ... but in his words THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT .........

GOOD LUCK TO THE OP ... top man for being so honest i hope all works out for you in the future where ever you lay your hat .

Mash

[akwoodworker]

reminds me of a friend who met a "nice Thai girl" and her story was similar except her mom died twice (oops). Her son in the village "needed" to go to a special school, etc. I do not know how much he sent but it was always something, she lived in bangkok. If she were sincere she would move back to the village so she could be near her "sick" mom. When I met my wife, by accident, she never asked for a penny, so even though she can be a pain it is obvious to me that she is a good woman.

[Mark60]

hi everyone, in regards to this guys questions about his girlfriend, well I came across this story by pure chance by typing into google 3 words "thai girlfriend forum" & this story was the first to come up, after reading it & contacting the guy not only did I know the girl but I am actually married to her & been together for 2 years. it has been a hell of a shock for both of us & if it hadnt of been for this forum then we would still be getting scammed by this evil person. big lesson learnt by me just a shame I had to have my heart broken to learn it

[jackspratt]

hi everyone, in regards to this guys questions about his girlfriend, well I came across this story by pure chance by typing into google 3 words "thai girlfriend forum" & this story was the first to come up, after reading it & contacting the guy not only did I know the girl but I am actually married to her & been together for 2 years. it has been a hell of a shock for both of us & if it hadnt of been for this forum then we would still be getting scammed by this evil person. big lesson learnt by me just a shame I had to have my heart broken to learn it

I guess that is a big thumbs up for google search.

Just out of interest, what caused you to google those 3 words, and when?

[BigBubba]

Wow! Gives a whole new meaning to, "It's a small world after all."

[izzix]

strangely all farangs have heard about the family member who has cancer ,it so common the entire mature population must be in a hospice .
any gal you meet is almost certain to get out the violin and quote a hard luck story .
many have fallen for it and ended up with a piss pot for company .
under no circumstances send any money without some hard proof of a hospital letter ,but even that might be a fake.
i am afraid theyre all at it

[Mark60]

i was just sitting at home alone last sunday night & was bored so i thought i would go on the net & look at some forums as I have done in the past just to see other peoples stories with thai women & in the past for every bad story there was always 3 good ones so I always felt safe with mine, especially after 2 years of either being together in thailand or australia , yes she has been here & i have been many times to thailand & travelled around the country & when we were not together, being on skype every night without fail sometimes up to 3 hours at a time, constant text messaging every day & sometimes phone calls. I had no idea that she was going to turn out like this especially after I spent time with her parents in their home & got married there in her village & all came to the ceremony. I truley thought that for a thai woman to put so much time & effort into a relationship & to keep it up for so long, I thought she was for real. Even the loving things she would say to me ( I know scammers will tell you what you want to hear) she was so convincing & never missed a beat. she would of got an academy award for her acting it was that good, I knew she wasnt a bar girl or a hooker & she use to always tell how she despised them & how much money they made compared to her working a normal job. no woman has ever broken my heart like this one has & it will take a long time to get over it. & for all the cynics, i was not on a sex holiday when i met her & i was not particularly looking for a thai bride when i met her online, nor am i a desperate loser who cant get white women. I have had plenty of women & my last I was married to for 15 years & I caught her out cheating on me also. So what im trying to say is that western women can f#@k you over also, so I dont blame thai women I blame her as a person & as she is a buddhist im sure she will know about karma very soon. I still think good thai woman are the nicest girls you could meet & although my first was a bad experience i wont give up on finding the right one, i love thailand & the people so i will be back soon, infact bkk in 2 weeks, cant wait

[jackspratt]

Are you sure you and CG64 are talking about the same woman (your wife)?

Previously he said this:

I received a private message from someone who said the girl I met sounded a lot like his girlfriend.

I assume you are that "someone".

[CanadianGuy64]

Yes, he is that "someone" and she's definitely the same one, and she did a convincing act with me as well.
I've gotten to know Mark60 a bit the last week myself. A class act and what she did was horrible.
I'm not a buddhist, but I'm hoping she has the right karma coming back to her (and Mark as well).
Cheers.

[CanadianGuy64]

The confusion may stem that Mark60 referred to her as his "girlfriend", not his wife.
He wasn't giving me too much information at first. Just wanted to see if it was the same girl (many of the details in the story matched what was going on in her life at that time). It was only after I replied and confirmed his suspicions that he told me they were married and it was his wife.
I've backed out of the situation and given him as much information as possible to prevent her from deceiving him any more. Of course she is trying to weasle her way out of it.I know now how convincing she can be and I didn't want her telling him any more lies. I've told him all I can.
It's been a shock to both of us that a person could be that selfish, calculating and manipulative. I've read through the responses others gave to me after my initial post, and they make sense to me now (didn't at the time: I couldn't even imagine her being like that). I feel very fortunate that Mark60 found my post. I was in deep and I was about to be fleeced. I admit it. If there is anyone out there reading this and you have some questions about the motives of your Thai girlfriend (I know it doesn't have to be a Thai girl, but there seem to be a fair number who use the same stories/methods...), I give you this one piece of advice. Listen to your instincts. If you are not totally confident, answer your questions. I considered hiring a detective to watch her for a week, but didn't (trusted her). If you have even a sliver of doubt, I'd advise hiring a detective to keep an eye on her for a week while you are away. Sad that it might be necessary, but definitely better than not knowing the truth. Even if your sweetie isn't seeing someone else during the time she's being watched, odds are she's going to be displaying behaviours different than what she's tellling you (i.e. not working when she says she is: if she's just living off of your and all of her other boyfriends hard earned money, she doesn't need to work).
This has been a real learning experience for me. I guess I'm not in Kansas anymore.
Cheers.

[Mark60]

Are you sure you and CG64 are talking about the same woman (your wife)?

Previously he said this:

I received a private message from someone who said the girl I met sounded a lot like his girlfriend.

I assume you are that "someone".

yes I am definately that person & she is my wife, CG64 & I have had a phone conversation & sent many emails containing what has been said to each of us regarding how much she loved us & so on, aswell as pictures to confirm 100%. It was quite amazing the elaborate scheming of this girl & how well rehearsed all the stories were. I still cant believe how this story was found by me & its outcome. Neither of us would ever of forseen what was about to happen & after speaking to & seeing who CG64 looks like I can assure everyone that neither of us are desperate guys looking for thai sex slaves as many foreigners do, we are both quite capable of getting women of any denomination, we were just looking for love from women that care & yes thai women do have a reputation as being great life partners & wives if you can find the right one. I know Im not giving up on searching for that thai woman & I think CG64 wants to keep looking aswell. this time around I will choose more carefully & make sure my brain is engaged before my heart, once bitten twice shy.

[redwolf]

I must admit, when I originally saw the OP's post, I hung back, didn't say much. It's interesting to follow various threads, -see things like Trubrit saying he recognizes all the "mia falang / thai wives of farangs" cars parked all night outside the police barracks. Insights world gold to some men around here. It all reads like a dramatic novel at times.

But to my surprise after looking in on this thread again, and seeing what a small world CG64 and Mark60 found it to be, I have to say, -we all feel it when we see this kind of thing. It's clear everyone on here was in the right in some manner of speaking. Different personalities come off a bit rough, but that's normal.

After my wife and I talked about it, I made the idea that if you really want karma to get a boost from outside the spirit world, why not post her details. Not saying you should do this now or at any time. The pain is probably too great.

But as Pienmash (who I normally regard as a character out of a pirate movie, no offense intended 'mate') mentioned, there's plenty of normal Thai women looking for a good foreign husband. That's quite true, and sort of the hidden tragedy in all this.

My wife's friends are all pretty normal people, though she's pointed out one or two she would say to watch out for, knowing they'd betray their own shadow if they could.

But some of the really nice and innocent ones are absolutely tired of having been cheated on, or having their boyfriends stolen from them. They look good, have university degrees, work hard all day at the office, respect their parents, have never been married, have no children, and have sort of a proven track record as being the good one, -even if their boyfriends eventually end up cheating and embarrassing them. (to you outsiders -The embarrassment comes from having introduced them to the parents, which infers potential marriage.)

So it's sad to see good men, good women, missing out on one another. Online is not the place to meet anyone, and unless you live here full time, having a relationship long distance be it with an angel or demoness, is a fool's lark.

Perhaps some discussion about where to meet good people and how to go about it can be had in this or another thread.

The first and foremost, is to learn to read, write, and THEN speak Thai. Anyone can learn to speak it. But they usually learn it wrong and don't even know they have embarrassed themselves. Knowing the language in depth is the true gateway into true Thai society, where the real people are.

The Road Of The Wallet leads nowhere, even the old men who bought off some poor village girl know she doesn't actually LOVE him. She loves SECURITY.

Good luck to both of you, and thanks for having the humanity to have helped one another, and shared it with the other expats.

Us expats might have a hard time being in the same room in person with one another here in Udon due to various racist and personal flaws each countryman has or has not, but on here we tend to be one, it's the rare place we'd lay down what we really think.

Perhaps that's the victory of TCP/IP. (which by the way, was MADE IN AMERICA -Semper Fi!)

[Mark60]

well said redwolf,

"But some of the really nice and innocent ones are absolutely tired of having been cheated on, or having their boyfriends stolen from them. They look good, have university degrees, work hard all day at the office, respect their parents, have never been married, have no children, and have sort of a proven track record as being the good one, -even if their boyfriends eventually end up cheating and embarrassing them. (to you outsiders -The embarrassment comes from having introduced them to the parents, which infers potential marriage.)"

I know they are out there its just finding them & sometimes with two good people, long distance relationship can work as "absence makes the heart grow fonder" & its not like we were going to be apart forever as once I had her visas's approved which was going to be this year, we would be together permanently. Unfortunately for me I cant afford to live in Thailand for a couple of years to find the right girl as I'm too young to retire & not wealthy enough to retire early. I had been to Thailand 5 times & my girl had been to Australia over the 2 years of the relationship & when we weren't together we talked on Skype for up to 3 hours every day & I mean everyday, also texting throughout the day while I was at work. I honestly didn't see this coming & I am amazed at how well she did it.
As for posting her details, I have thought of that but I dont think the guys who pre-read all the posts for approval would approve pictures & actual names. All I want from her now is for her to just tell me why she needed to do this & to understand what she has done is hurtful & wrong & hopefully see the light as with thai women when they get to 31 & are not married they feel like they are old & wont get picked to be a wife & find love. Age doesn't bother me as I still think she is very young & beautiful woman Im not one of these foreigners who look for the youngest girl they can find, I would rather them to be atleast in her 30's to try & get some maturity & at the end of the day for me its about love & if they can give it back & mean it, then you have a chance.

[Frankie 1]

All I want from her now is for her to just tell me why she needed to do this & to understand what she has done is hurtful & wrong...

Please stop! She will never tell you the truth. If she tells you anything, she will only say what she thinks you want to hear.

...& hopefully see the light.

Players see things only in their own light.

Leave it/her, end of story, and move on.

[BigBubba]

Please stop! She will never tell you the truth. If she tells you anything, she will only say what she thinks you want to hear.

Leave it/her, end of story, and move on.

Somewhat insensitive don't you think Frankie? These guys are understandably in pain. This may be their only opportunity to vent the frustration, anger, and hurt. A part of the healing process. I'm a big believer in Kharma, or as my grandmother used to say, "What comes around, goes around." Of course us little kids never understood what she meant until much later in life. I think this lady will eventually get whats coming to her.

Bubba

[semperfiguy]

I for one abhor the behavior exhibited by the Thai girl that has duped CG64 and Mark60. The fact is that the collateral damage from these stories spreads far and wife and affects all of us to some degree. I am one of the fortunate guys who found an honest and honorable Thai lady on the internet, and after two years of marital bliss we have never had the first problem and I trust her 1000%. However, having said that there is a part of me that walks on eggshells when I hear these stories and I'm always looking over my shoulder...sniffing around and waiting for the knife in the back even though my wife has never given me a reason to not trust her. Of course that could stem from the fact that I have personally been duped in three previous marriages and never saw it coming. I think my life is somewhat of an anomaly...still a bit shell shocked from my experience in Vietnam, but suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from my experiences with prior marriages!

I've tried to understand why women do these kinds of things to men who have honorable intentions, and I know that it has its roots in the sins of greed and selfishness. I also believe that entering into a long distance relationship with a women opens up a door that might otherwise remain closed if the couple were together on a full time basis. Let me explain: When I first began to correspond by email/chat/webcam with my present wife, it was as though I had entered into this fantasy world that was extremely alluring. After we met, married and settled down into full time reality together, it wasn't long before I began to feel the call of the fantasy world again. As much as I love my wife, had it not been for my strong sense of commitment and conscience I would have been back on the internet searching for another heart throbbing fantasy experience. I absolutely believe that some of these Thai girls have been at this game for so long trying to find the perfect mate, that when they do find Mr. Perfect, they simply miss the excitement of the chase and they don't possess the strong constitution to be able to say "no" to the lure. Internet dating can be just as addicting, if not more so, than alcohol or any drug. They cheat to fill the void when Mr. Perfect doesn't turn out to be so perfect after all, or when Mr. Perfect is meeting most of her needs...but he's not around full time. They're also hedging their bets when Mr. Perfect hasn't quite yet sealed the deal with her, and they're looking for someone else to fall back on.

Again, I don't condone this type of behavior, but I'm just trying to offer up a new twist to understanding why people do the things that they do. But for the grace of God...there goes I!

[Laan Yaa Mo]

I for one abhor the behavior exhibited by the Thai girl that has duped CG64 and Mark60. After we met, married and settled down into full time reality together, it wasn't long before I began to feel the call of the fantasy world again. As much as I love my wife, had it not been for my strong sense of commitment and conscience I would have been back on the internet searching for another heart throbbing fantasy experience. I absolutely believe that some of these Thai girls have been at this game for so long trying to find the perfect mate, that when they do find Mr. Perfect, they simply miss the excitement of the chase and they don't possess the strong constitution to be able to say "no" to the lure. Internet dating can be just as addicting, if not more so, than alcohol or any drug. They cheat to fill the void when Mr. Perfect doesn't turn out to be so perfect after all, or when Mr. Perfect is meeting most of her needs...but he's not around full time. They're also hedging their bets when Mr. Perfect hasn't quite yet sealed the deal with her, and they're looking for someone else to fall back on.

Again, I don't condone this type of behavior, but I'm just trying to offer up a new twist to understanding why people do the things that they do. But for the grace of God...there goes I!

Don't be too self-righteous about these Thai girls that you abhor as you seem to have the same type of urges yourself although, thankfully, you seem to have them under control for the moment.

[semperfiguy]

I for one abhor the behavior exhibited by the Thai girl that has duped CG64 and Mark60. After we met, married and settled down into full time reality together, it wasn't long before I began to feel the call of the fantasy world again. As much as I love my wife, had it not been for my strong sense of commitment and conscience I would have been back on the internet searching for another heart throbbing fantasy experience. I absolutely believe that some of these Thai girls have been at this game for so long trying to find the perfect mate, that when they do find Mr. Perfect, they simply miss the excitement of the chase and they don't possess the strong constitution to be able to say "no" to the lure. Internet dating can be just as addicting, if not more so, than alcohol or any drug. They cheat to fill the void when Mr. Perfect doesn't turn out to be so perfect after all, or when Mr. Perfect is meeting most of her needs...but he's not around full time. They're also hedging their bets when Mr. Perfect hasn't quite yet sealed the deal with her, and they're looking for someone else to fall back on.

Again, I don't condone this type of behavior, but I'm just trying to offer up a new twist to understanding why people do the things that they do. But for the grace of God...there goes I!

Don't be too self-righteous about these Thai girls that you abhor as you seem to have the same type of urges yourself although, thankfully, you seem to have them under control for the moment.[/quote


Thanks for your comment Laan Yaa Mo. That was exactly my point! I'm not being self-righteous at all. I'm simply saying that there's not a single one of us that doesn't sit on the edge and could topple in the same direction as this young lady at any moment. It's purely a matter of conscience...thus the expression "But for the grace of God...there goes I" (meaning I'm capable of doing the same unrighteous deeds, and so are the rest of us). Some of us are able to exercise restraint...one day at at time, and others simply can't!

[Laan Yaa Mo]

Yes...thanks.