Its been a rough 2012
With the wifes gambling taken care off and all things of value in safe deposit box then this in April the wifes sister and husband come back to Udon for a Holiday for 2 weeks shes pregnant and we being ''Family said we would put them up'' for the duration of there stay. Can you guess what happened next, two weeks turns to one month and so on with no contribuition to running costs to my home.
But as you all know one has to tread lightly on these topics as things can escalate in to rows,family fueds etc, i was taken a back a couple of weeks ago when '' an idea was put to me '' daling what about my sister and husband come stay here for ever and she can be Nanny for our babys and her husband can take care of Garden,bearing in mind she is heavilly pregnant and i have two young children of my own!!!!
So lets put that in to perspective the wifes sister has no income husband has no income, baby is born and live with me and i pay for everything.What happened was a sort of grooming process for the first month from the sister and brother on how my wifes life would be easy and she got quite used to an '' easy life'' of no household chores etc.
Me being Cynical or some would call it streetwise would call it like this , two workshy lazy uneducated low class scum need an easy way out in life as she will need to look after baby and his earning capabilities are near 0 baht per month.
and who better to carry this burden of an extra 2 adults and new baby than Mr Falang.
What happened next shocked even me!!! my face was red with anger when they came forward with the proposal and my wife new it , I tried calmly to explain that they have overstayed their welcome and it was time for them to move on,I tried to do it in a way that wouldnt make my wife choose between me and Family as we all know how close this subject is to a Thai persons Heart....
Well it turned in to a full scale row with my wife packing up the truck and going to her mums with the sister and kids etc,but one thing i wont forget is the look on the sisters face you know that look you only get from the woman in the cheesy thai soaps, she was loving it.
Ive been given an ultimatum of i take wifes sister +husband + baby to live in house or its divorce over...
Now im not a mug and would never agreed to this so it was a stalemate. I packed the car up with my belongings and just started driving from Udon im now in hotel in Korat and pondering my next move but i feel terrible as i said earlier i have two young children and it feels like ive abandoned them but i cant and wont be railroaded in to family pressure to do something im not happy with...
Im getting all the usual lines of youll never see the kids again but i already know that thai courts are good with visitation rights....
About the house you may ask , i made a point when buying it that it went in the kids names so dont need to worry about selling etc.
Moving out of Thailand is not an option due to my kids...
So as of this moment im sitting in Hotel pondering my next move , where do i start a fresh within at least an hours flight to Udon i was thinking BKK but where do you start.
Please i would welcome any advice given as im at a turning point here.
It just shows you how quickly it go wrong ,very wrong , but in life there are no crystal balls
Col
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Its all over,But where do i start again?
Sorry to hear of your Delema, but it is still early days yet. As the Days and Weeks tick by with no income your Wife will have to put pressure on Brother in Law to find Work and provide for everyone. If he is as Lazy as you say, he won't be very Happy. I would just sit back and watch it all unfold until your Bargaining Position is much better !!
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Wait and see what happened. If you not provide money for the next few months, they will come to you. Meanwhile you can think in this period about your situation and make a decision for yourself. Also try to give yourself a good time in this period. Forcing a decision never works in cases like this. To give it time, is your best friend at the moment.
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BigBubba
- udonmap.com
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- Joined: February 25, 2012, 4:39 pm
- Location: Was MEMPHIS, now Udon Thani
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I would ditto the above and add that big decisions made in haste, or especially anger rarely work out for the best. Sounds like you need and deserve a nice little vacation to clear your head and relax.
Every day I wake up is a good day.
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Bertie_Wooster
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 118
- Joined: July 16, 2008, 11:08 am
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Never decide things in anger. I will also say that the wife trying to get the moochers a free ride was not cool.
Bertie_Wooster
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I would leave the hotel, and go back to the house, otherwise when they know you have gone walkabout, the whole tribe will move in, and you will never get your way..the house, or living in the house is what this is all centered around, but they have spat the dummy and left.. I would hold your ground, Custer's last stand, a mans word is his bond and all that, what have you got to loose by standing by your decision that they should leave..I certainly wouldnt hand them the house on a plate..your missus will come back for a last try to get her way. Tell her the sister and her man are bad karma, and brought the bad karma with them, look what it has done to our lives darling, and our own family..That is not good dear..The spirits dont look kindly on them dear, cant you see, and I no want that karma in my house, around our kids..here, look best I can do is 5000baht for them to find other place and for their baby..but that is it.........wink wink...
Thats the bluff I would be playing if my chips were down.
Thats the bluff I would be playing if my chips were down.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I agree with Maaka that you should go back to the house and maintain your position there. Otherwise you will never see it again. No one is going to throw you out of the house and even the in-laws are going to wise up quickly that your wife belongs with you and the lazy pair can stay with the in-laws.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
You have one big,big advantage over them.......you have income,they dont.
Without you supporting them how can they live ?
If I were you I'd book a few days break in Bangkok,Phuket,Hua-Hin,Pattaya or wherever and phone your wife from Udon Airport just as your plane is about to leave and tell them this.
Enjoy the few days relaxing back and more than likely she will be asking you to come back ("miss you too mutt,dalling").
When you do come back,make sure its on your terms.
Without you supporting them how can they live ?
If I were you I'd book a few days break in Bangkok,Phuket,Hua-Hin,Pattaya or wherever and phone your wife from Udon Airport just as your plane is about to leave and tell them this.
Enjoy the few days relaxing back and more than likely she will be asking you to come back ("miss you too mutt,dalling").
When you do come back,make sure its on your terms.
Just when I thought our chance had passed,you go and save the best for last.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I think you nailed something at the start sentence. The wife's gambling and everything of value in the safe deposit box?
That shows straight off that you are not with a woman that will be of long term good for you, or perhaps even for herself.
The relationship with you will be just one of many things she loses over the years of taking bad advice from perhaps a bad friend, or worse, a clueless parent who might even be backed up by an entire clueless soi of dummies. Maybe all the chaos comes right from her, only you would know. Also we don't know you.
But it wasn't cool for them to put you out like that, and your wife, as all wives know sooner or later, she has to choose not between her relationship with you and the relationship with her family, but instead of walk the middle road as best she can.
The same can be said for you. Both of you have to walk the middle. That's always how it is.
I would however, not "game" this situation as some have recommended. There's always a counter-move. No deals, no negotiations, that's just for saps. Trying to hold down the house will just end up in more problems, later. Over & over.
Kon Kaen doesn't have an airport from what I hear and the drive is too far. But Nong Khai is an hour away by bus and while it might not be the best place to "start over", it does offer a bit of a break from Udon itself.
Many have been correct about time being on your side. Try to build as much of it up as you can outside their realm of influence. Hang at the temples. Study Thai in depth, reading and writing, not speaking. Stay away from drinkers, bars, idiots outside who tend to flock & keep each other down. Maybe even stay away from people altogether as it'll just get you gabbing about your predicament, when instead you need to focus and think for yourself. You know how it goes.
After a while you'll be able to hit the road on a motocycle or rented car, find the smallest, most friendly little town, settle in. Things will align in time to what is meant to be. See the kids later on. They'll see the balance in you when you emerge.
That shows straight off that you are not with a woman that will be of long term good for you, or perhaps even for herself.
The relationship with you will be just one of many things she loses over the years of taking bad advice from perhaps a bad friend, or worse, a clueless parent who might even be backed up by an entire clueless soi of dummies. Maybe all the chaos comes right from her, only you would know. Also we don't know you.
But it wasn't cool for them to put you out like that, and your wife, as all wives know sooner or later, she has to choose not between her relationship with you and the relationship with her family, but instead of walk the middle road as best she can.
The same can be said for you. Both of you have to walk the middle. That's always how it is.
I would however, not "game" this situation as some have recommended. There's always a counter-move. No deals, no negotiations, that's just for saps. Trying to hold down the house will just end up in more problems, later. Over & over.
Kon Kaen doesn't have an airport from what I hear and the drive is too far. But Nong Khai is an hour away by bus and while it might not be the best place to "start over", it does offer a bit of a break from Udon itself.
Many have been correct about time being on your side. Try to build as much of it up as you can outside their realm of influence. Hang at the temples. Study Thai in depth, reading and writing, not speaking. Stay away from drinkers, bars, idiots outside who tend to flock & keep each other down. Maybe even stay away from people altogether as it'll just get you gabbing about your predicament, when instead you need to focus and think for yourself. You know how it goes.
After a while you'll be able to hit the road on a motocycle or rented car, find the smallest, most friendly little town, settle in. Things will align in time to what is meant to be. See the kids later on. They'll see the balance in you when you emerge.
AUT VIAM INVENIAM AUT FACIAM | ARCANA IMPERII | ALIS AQUILAE
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Bandung_Dero
- udonmap.com
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- Joined: July 10, 2005, 8:53 am
- Location: Ban Dung or Perth W.A.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I tend to agree with the 1st two responses, disappear for a while. Sounds to me like TW is the one who needs to get her life and priorities in order.
"but where do I start again?"
Definitely NOT in a temple!! I think I would rent a small place in Nong Khai or Loei. Somewhere close enough to visit your Farang friends (assume you have them) for a bit of support and updates but not so close that TW could easily locate you. Give it a month or two and see what happens.
"but where do I start again?"
Definitely NOT in a temple!! I think I would rent a small place in Nong Khai or Loei. Somewhere close enough to visit your Farang friends (assume you have them) for a bit of support and updates but not so close that TW could easily locate you. Give it a month or two and see what happens.
Sent from my 1977 Apple II using 2 Heinz bake bean cans and piano wire!
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Hi,
Redwolf. I wonder if you live in LOS. I got a plane to Khon Kaen and landed at the airport there. Or was i just dreaming. Go onto the K.K. ring road and you will see a sign pointing the way to K.K. airport. You can not miss it.
I just say this in case anyone wants to fly there. THERE IS A AIRPORT AT K.K.. Also the bus only takes less than one and a half hours, if you get the express. Just 120K from Udon. If the poster is happy there, that is all that is required.
To the poster that started this topic i wish you good luck, and that all turns out O.K. whichever way you go.
Cheers Doug. and all the best.
Redwolf. I wonder if you live in LOS. I got a plane to Khon Kaen and landed at the airport there. Or was i just dreaming. Go onto the K.K. ring road and you will see a sign pointing the way to K.K. airport. You can not miss it.
I just say this in case anyone wants to fly there. THERE IS A AIRPORT AT K.K.. Also the bus only takes less than one and a half hours, if you get the express. Just 120K from Udon. If the poster is happy there, that is all that is required.
To the poster that started this topic i wish you good luck, and that all turns out O.K. whichever way you go.
Cheers Doug. and all the best.
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semperfiguy
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 2473
- Joined: July 16, 2010, 12:49 pm
- Location: Udon Thani, Thailand
It's all over, but where do I start again?
ColinLHR, I think it is essential to evaluate your full legal rights as soon as possible in the event of the worst case scenario. Get the element of surprise in your favor and be prepared to strike ASAP if you see that this is not going to turn out well for you. You can bet that the wife and in-laws are not sitting back waiting to see what you are going to do next.
You haven't made is clear if you are legally married and the marriage is registered at the Amphur, or did you only have a village ceremony? Is the Chanote in your spouse/girlfriend's name and do you have a Usufruct Agreement attached to the Chanote giving you the full benefit of use of the house? You mentioned that when you bought the house it went in the kids' names. I'm not sure exactly what that means...are you? Was this some sort of a trust agreement with your wife being the trustee because the kids are obviously under legal age, or are you referring to inheritance in the event of your wife's death? Of course, I don't expect for you to make all this information public, but I'm only suggesting that you clarify these points for your own benefit so that you will know if you are dealing from a position of strength or weakness so far as the house and your rights to reenter the home. Seems to me there are some big "ifs" here, and if and when the entire family comes against you they have their ways of keeping you off the premises and waiting you out until you just give up and go away, and then they will have their way with the kids and what you believe to be your assets. For all you know this entire episode was a set-up from the very git go! From what I know of the Thais, they are very diligent and patient to carry out the grandest of scams against a falang. You can't change the stripes on a tiger's (Thai girl's) back!!!!!!!!
I'm wishing you the best outcome for you and those that truly love you.
You haven't made is clear if you are legally married and the marriage is registered at the Amphur, or did you only have a village ceremony? Is the Chanote in your spouse/girlfriend's name and do you have a Usufruct Agreement attached to the Chanote giving you the full benefit of use of the house? You mentioned that when you bought the house it went in the kids' names. I'm not sure exactly what that means...are you? Was this some sort of a trust agreement with your wife being the trustee because the kids are obviously under legal age, or are you referring to inheritance in the event of your wife's death? Of course, I don't expect for you to make all this information public, but I'm only suggesting that you clarify these points for your own benefit so that you will know if you are dealing from a position of strength or weakness so far as the house and your rights to reenter the home. Seems to me there are some big "ifs" here, and if and when the entire family comes against you they have their ways of keeping you off the premises and waiting you out until you just give up and go away, and then they will have their way with the kids and what you believe to be your assets. For all you know this entire episode was a set-up from the very git go! From what I know of the Thais, they are very diligent and patient to carry out the grandest of scams against a falang. You can't change the stripes on a tiger's (Thai girl's) back!!!!!!!!
I'm wishing you the best outcome for you and those that truly love you.
Colossians 2:8-10...See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, which are based on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ. For in HIM dwells all the fullness of the GODHEAD bodily; and you are complete in HIM, who is the head of all principality and power.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
A response to recent questions
Im legally married and was registered in Amphur and with-out going in to to much detail the house is in my oldest sons name and is under a trust agreement meaning that both me and wifes signature are needed for sale of house before son reaches legal age.
Pick up in wifes name and car that i have with me is in my name thats all assets.
The house is not that big a deal for me as i see it as my kids, and at the end of the day they need a home!!!!
Ive still got the hidden bank accounts in UK that i presume most of you readers will have back in your home countries.
About starting over i was thinking about back to BKK where i lived years ago its central and udon is only 1 hr away and nok air can get you there quite cheaply..
I know my way round and have a couple friends there also because its central lots of friends are always passing through en-route to Pattaya,Phuket etc...
But one thing i cant get in to is the beer bar lifesyle as ive been sober for 7 months now and feeling quite good, so it looks like joining a golf club and get an apartment with facilities ie gym etc would be good, more so just a place to keep my bags etc
The thought of starting over in Khon Kaen,Udon, or similar towns fills me with dread no disrespect Ive enjoyed my time in Udon but i feel its only the sort of place to be if your living with wife or long term partner etc
Ill stay away with phone switched off head to Bangkok in the next few days and get somewhere to stay , but i reckon thats it, because even if this was to be sorted out then what will be the next big drama that comes along. She knows my email and she can contact me from that.
The last post wrote the following ''For all you know this entire episode was a set-up from the very git go!'' and you know what your probably 100% correct it probably was come to think of it....
But why doesnt the Sister and Husband not feel any guilt , any normal person would say Im sorry but we have over stayed our welcome and made you argue we will go,no no they were helping her pack her stuff up...
They wanted to be ''taken care of'' and the burden of responsibility on my shoulders...
I can speak thai quite well and on leaving told the sisters husband that being a man you have to provide and take care of your own wife and new baby and if you cant wear a rubber, and a few other home truths but i got the look that just says it all im a poor thai man from the sticks and cant do anything but im good at sleeping and drinking whiskey and borrowing money
As for further down the road meeting a new woman , i will need to be selective a woman with no parents and brothers and sisters that has her own place and her own car + job , whats the chances of that probably one in a million!!!!!!!
Does anybody know the number for a good english speaking lawyer ?? that would get the ball rolling and let them know that im serious, the lawyer will only be to get with visiting the Kids as i said before the assets are deat with already..
And soon I will have to make the dreaded call back to family in UK to tell them whats going on and it will be my fault saying you cant walk out on your kids!!!!
If only they knew the ---- that can go on over here
Thanks again for the kind words and i will keep you updated
Col
Im legally married and was registered in Amphur and with-out going in to to much detail the house is in my oldest sons name and is under a trust agreement meaning that both me and wifes signature are needed for sale of house before son reaches legal age.
Pick up in wifes name and car that i have with me is in my name thats all assets.
The house is not that big a deal for me as i see it as my kids, and at the end of the day they need a home!!!!
Ive still got the hidden bank accounts in UK that i presume most of you readers will have back in your home countries.
About starting over i was thinking about back to BKK where i lived years ago its central and udon is only 1 hr away and nok air can get you there quite cheaply..
I know my way round and have a couple friends there also because its central lots of friends are always passing through en-route to Pattaya,Phuket etc...
But one thing i cant get in to is the beer bar lifesyle as ive been sober for 7 months now and feeling quite good, so it looks like joining a golf club and get an apartment with facilities ie gym etc would be good, more so just a place to keep my bags etc
The thought of starting over in Khon Kaen,Udon, or similar towns fills me with dread no disrespect Ive enjoyed my time in Udon but i feel its only the sort of place to be if your living with wife or long term partner etc
Ill stay away with phone switched off head to Bangkok in the next few days and get somewhere to stay , but i reckon thats it, because even if this was to be sorted out then what will be the next big drama that comes along. She knows my email and she can contact me from that.
The last post wrote the following ''For all you know this entire episode was a set-up from the very git go!'' and you know what your probably 100% correct it probably was come to think of it....
But why doesnt the Sister and Husband not feel any guilt , any normal person would say Im sorry but we have over stayed our welcome and made you argue we will go,no no they were helping her pack her stuff up...
They wanted to be ''taken care of'' and the burden of responsibility on my shoulders...
I can speak thai quite well and on leaving told the sisters husband that being a man you have to provide and take care of your own wife and new baby and if you cant wear a rubber, and a few other home truths but i got the look that just says it all im a poor thai man from the sticks and cant do anything but im good at sleeping and drinking whiskey and borrowing money
As for further down the road meeting a new woman , i will need to be selective a woman with no parents and brothers and sisters that has her own place and her own car + job , whats the chances of that probably one in a million!!!!!!!
Does anybody know the number for a good english speaking lawyer ?? that would get the ball rolling and let them know that im serious, the lawyer will only be to get with visiting the Kids as i said before the assets are deat with already..
And soon I will have to make the dreaded call back to family in UK to tell them whats going on and it will be my fault saying you cant walk out on your kids!!!!
If only they knew the ---- that can go on over here
Thanks again for the kind words and i will keep you updated
Col
It's all over, but where do I start again?
I think Semperfiguy has got some good thoughts on this one.
Oh yes, "the long game" is coming to it's end. As sf says, get a good lawyer and be prepared.
This is what might happen.
Wife moves back to mum and tries to sell the house. If house can't be sold due to circomstances, she will have it rented out.
The car will probably get sold in the near future.
She will want to have support from you for the kids. The amount she will ask for will be high and the kids will see little of it. Further up the road, the kids will be used shamelessly for the purpouse of getting the most out of you .
You have only two bargaining tools, your money and the fact that you are married.
Oh yes, "the long game" is coming to it's end. As sf says, get a good lawyer and be prepared.
This is what might happen.
Wife moves back to mum and tries to sell the house. If house can't be sold due to circomstances, she will have it rented out.
The car will probably get sold in the near future.
She will want to have support from you for the kids. The amount she will ask for will be high and the kids will see little of it. Further up the road, the kids will be used shamelessly for the purpouse of getting the most out of you .
You have only two bargaining tools, your money and the fact that you are married.
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Laan Yaa Mo
- udonmap.com
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- Joined: February 7, 2007, 9:12 am
- Location: ขอนแก่น
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Your best move, since you are in Khorat, is to go to the Yaa Mo monument in the centre of town, near the Klang Plaza, and ask her for direction. The answer might be the one in your heart already, but you will feel better for doing this. As you will note, you won't be the only one visiting Yaa Mo for advice.colinLHR wrote:Its been a rough 2012
...
I packed the car up with my belongings and just started driving from Udon im now in hotel in Korat and pondering my next move but i feel terrible as i said earlier i have two young children and it feels like ive abandoned them but i cant and wont be railroaded in to family pressure to do something im not happy with...
So as of this moment im sitting in Hotel pondering my next move , where do i start a fresh within at least an hours flight to Udon i was thinking BKK but where do you start.
Please i would welcome any advice given as im at a turning point here.
It just shows you how quickly it go wrong ,very wrong , but in life there are no crystal balls
Col
Zidane makes some good points too. It may be that things will work out for you and your wife in the end. Be patient, strong, firm but ready to compromise a bit. Good luck.
You only pass through this life once, you don't come back for an encore.
It's all over, but where do I start again?
If you care about your kids you should go back to you house, talk to a lawyer, get full custody and take them far away from the nutjob family.
Thai men often take the children after a divorce. You should be able to do the same.
Thai men often take the children after a divorce. You should be able to do the same.
UFF DA!
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Col, if you are still in Khorat, there is a top english speaking lawyer ( french Canadian ) working for Isaan Lawyers Co Ltd, 358 Pho Klang , Muang, Nakhorn Ratchasima ( Khorat ) 0872251340, or 044245001 or email isaanlawyers@gmail.com....Sebastian Brousseau is the gentlemans name.....have a chat with him...
It's all over, but where do I start again?
IM just away to start the drive down to Bangkok from Korat, made a few enquires online about rental apartments and if your a foreigner they are mainly looking for 6 months rent up front,
I called one with english language website and was quoted 17,000 got my thai friend in udon who is bank manager in Udon to call for me to the same one and the price he was qouted was 12,000 funny that eh, so i called them bank saying my agent called you and you said 12,000 and me 17,000 and girl on phone said she velllly sorry her english no good but price is 12,000 after all.
Its on new petchaburi road only 300m from BTS skytrain so will take a look...
About the full custody of the Children I would love that but in my current employment Thailand is my base but i can get called to travel at a minutes notice to mainly other Asian countries or or as far a field as OZ or eastern europe and these trips can last up to 10,11 days.
But dont get me wrong i would quit this job in a heart beat to get them and would predict i would have enough savings for 3-4 years to live without work but then what....
Taking the kids back to Blighty after that that would only be a last resort.
Do you thinkg the courts would give a falang full custody of the children , i find that hard to believe?????
I contacted a lawyer in BKK that a friend recommended and had a quick chat to see what i could get out of him but he was a little shy about giving to much away until i was taken on and on his payroll,but what i could gather from him was.
--If i have proof of the gambling {which i do} then he can push that side of the argument that families finances are not secure as she is at risk of Gambling it.
-Her and her familys ability to earn good money will be a bad affect on providing enough money to provide a good life schooling etc
-He also told me that in normal divorce cases the father is expected to pay an allowance of 100 Baht per child per day but i can pay more if i feel i want to and if i want to pay for schooling etc and he can get an order installed that reciepts must be shown to prove how the money is spent.
-So 100 baht per child per day equals roughly 6,000 per month , oh my god if she finds that out she will hit the roof.
-He also said that many foreigners make the mistake of still giving the wife an allowance which he stressed is stupid and she should not get anything from you.{which i definetely will not.
-He also said your wife will come in with a crazy amount of money needed for child allowance like 60,000 per month in the hope the court will slit the difference, and all to often this makes the court officials angry as earn a lot less and this little girl from the jungle comes in saying she needs 60,000 a month just to survive.
-He adviced about going for 50% custody meaning that when your in Thailand the kids could live with you and when you have to go on Business they could go to mum but he said the down side of that is you will need to stay near your wife and be in contact regulary about arrangements.
-The last thing he said was that he could phone her on my behalf but he would have to invoice me for it 700 baht and he would explain to her about how the legal system works and she will come out worse in all this, scare tactics basically so i said i will think it over and give him a call back today.
Do you think what he is telling me is true cos if it is its certainly brightened up my day!!!!!
6,000 per month for two kids do you think thats enough?
I called one with english language website and was quoted 17,000 got my thai friend in udon who is bank manager in Udon to call for me to the same one and the price he was qouted was 12,000 funny that eh, so i called them bank saying my agent called you and you said 12,000 and me 17,000 and girl on phone said she velllly sorry her english no good but price is 12,000 after all.
Its on new petchaburi road only 300m from BTS skytrain so will take a look...
About the full custody of the Children I would love that but in my current employment Thailand is my base but i can get called to travel at a minutes notice to mainly other Asian countries or or as far a field as OZ or eastern europe and these trips can last up to 10,11 days.
But dont get me wrong i would quit this job in a heart beat to get them and would predict i would have enough savings for 3-4 years to live without work but then what....
Taking the kids back to Blighty after that that would only be a last resort.
Do you thinkg the courts would give a falang full custody of the children , i find that hard to believe?????
I contacted a lawyer in BKK that a friend recommended and had a quick chat to see what i could get out of him but he was a little shy about giving to much away until i was taken on and on his payroll,but what i could gather from him was.
--If i have proof of the gambling {which i do} then he can push that side of the argument that families finances are not secure as she is at risk of Gambling it.
-Her and her familys ability to earn good money will be a bad affect on providing enough money to provide a good life schooling etc
-He also told me that in normal divorce cases the father is expected to pay an allowance of 100 Baht per child per day but i can pay more if i feel i want to and if i want to pay for schooling etc and he can get an order installed that reciepts must be shown to prove how the money is spent.
-So 100 baht per child per day equals roughly 6,000 per month , oh my god if she finds that out she will hit the roof.
-He also said that many foreigners make the mistake of still giving the wife an allowance which he stressed is stupid and she should not get anything from you.{which i definetely will not.
-He also said your wife will come in with a crazy amount of money needed for child allowance like 60,000 per month in the hope the court will slit the difference, and all to often this makes the court officials angry as earn a lot less and this little girl from the jungle comes in saying she needs 60,000 a month just to survive.
-He adviced about going for 50% custody meaning that when your in Thailand the kids could live with you and when you have to go on Business they could go to mum but he said the down side of that is you will need to stay near your wife and be in contact regulary about arrangements.
-The last thing he said was that he could phone her on my behalf but he would have to invoice me for it 700 baht and he would explain to her about how the legal system works and she will come out worse in all this, scare tactics basically so i said i will think it over and give him a call back today.
Do you think what he is telling me is true cos if it is its certainly brightened up my day!!!!!
6,000 per month for two kids do you think thats enough?
It's all over, but where do I start again?
it would not hurt to ring Isaan Lawyers for a second legal opinion..Sebastian does give out some free advice...and lawyers are like motor mechanics, you get good ones, and some that just dont know what they are doing..I would most definately get a second opinion. Indeed, you may preen some further info from sourcing a second opinion..
It's all over, but where do I start again?
Good idea maaka will do that , Siam legal i see that plastered all over the net and will see about Issan lawyers but i would feel more comfortable with a BKK lawyer as it will be nearer for face to face discussions.
I definetly dont want a lawyer who is of the mind that he cant do bad to his fellow country people and he will settle for reaching the middle ground that keeps him everyone happy cos i could see that happening with a N.E Lawyer
I definetly dont want a lawyer who is of the mind that he cant do bad to his fellow country people and he will settle for reaching the middle ground that keeps him everyone happy cos i could see that happening with a N.E Lawyer