Female Advice: New Thai Girlfriend/Money

Post by **grievous** » June 21, 2012, 7:27 pm

I bet some of the internet dating girls are increasing to their odds to meet a good bloke by contacting several guys at the same time as many farang out there promise the world and deliver zero.
I'm sure the farang on these websites are doing the same thing and are forming relationships online with more than one girl at a time.
Don't get me wrong there are many scamming thai girls out there but if you keep your eyes, and keep the rose coloured glasses off, open they can be easily identified
Another thing I was wondering is what the age difference cut off limit is to know that a girl can love her husband as I noticed one previous post stated that she won't love you with a 16 year age difference.

Post by **jai yen yen** » June 21, 2012, 8:16 pm

grievous wrote:I bet some of the internet dating girls are increasing to their odds to meet a good bloke by contacting several guys at the same time as many farang out there promise the world and deliver zero.
I'm sure the farang on these websites are doing the same thing and are forming relationships online with more than one girl at a time.
Don't get me wrong there are many scamming thai girls out there but if you keep your eyes, and keep the rose coloured glasses off, open they can be easily identified
Another thing I was wondering is what the age difference cut off limit is to know that a girl can love her husband as I noticed one previous post stated that she won't love you with a 16 year age difference.

It is not really a numbers thing but a compatability issue. Also you can be young at 70 or old at 45. There are sincere people out there, you just have to look and watch for the players.

Post by **grievous** » June 21, 2012, 8:42 pm

well put mate.

Post by **roland22** » June 21, 2012, 8:54 pm

grievous wrote: I'm sure the farang on these websites are doing the same thing and are forming relationships online with more than one girl at a time.

I think we all know farangs, come to Thailand for dating 10 or more ladies in a 4 week holiday, stay together for 2 days (and nights?) and walk on, never planned to be honest to one of these girls. When back home, they start dating the next girls for the holiday next year. Sometimes for Thai ladies its same, hard to believe that not every farang is like this guys.

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » June 22, 2012, 12:26 am

jai yen yen wrote: It is not really a numbers thing but a compatability issue. Also you can be young at 70 or old at 45. There are sincere people out there, you just have to look and watch for the players.

Well, sure you may think you are young at 70, but if you are hankering after a lady in the 30-60 year old range think security and friendship, not love, on her part. As long as the money holds out, she may prove to be loyal to you. But, do not hold it against her if you catch her straying now and again with a younger man. She has special needs after all.

Post by **jai yen yen** » June 22, 2012, 11:06 am

Laan Yaa Mo wrote:
jai yen yen wrote: It is not really a numbers thing but a compatability issue. Also you can be young at 70 or old at 45. There are sincere people out there, you just have to look and watch for the players.

Well, sure you may think you are young at 70, but if you are hankering after a lady in the 30-60 year old range think security and friendship, not love, on her part. As long as the money holds out, she may prove to be loyal to you. But, do not hold it against her if you catch her straying now and again with a younger man. She has special needs after all.

I think are a lot of men in there 70s that can take care of those special needs.

Also love can be just as real even with a significant age difference if the couple are truly compatible and know what they want. Security definately enters into it but that is a part of any relationship. We all want security with out partner, emotionally as well as financial. I know of couples with a fairly large age difference with the man having only a modest pension and his lady sticks with him. When you really like and care for someone that will trump money everytime if you have a real relationship. I think some people are too quick to judge Thai women by a few bad ones. I would bet there are more than a few members on this forum that would agree with me by there own experiences.

Post by **BigBubba** » June 22, 2012, 11:26 am

jai yen yen wrote:I would bet there are more than a few members on this forum that would agree with me by there own experiences.

You can count me as one of them! There's considerable difference in our ages, I'm far from rich, but this November my wife and I will start our 5th year together. I would challenge anyone who says she doesn't love me. People who are around us, and really KNOW us would never think such a thing. Anyone who groups human beings into a certain mold based on the conduct of a few is a narrow minded idiot. Sorry, just my humble opinion.

Bubba

Post by **wayne747** » July 6, 2012, 1:55 pm

Laan Yaa Mo wrote: But, do not hold it against her if you catch her straying now and again with a younger man. She has special needs after all.

In all politeness, you must be kidding. IMHO, if she fools around, then it should have severe consequences, very likely immediate exit.
She makes a choice if she marries a say 16 year older guy. She get security and must compromise on having a youthful husband. She can't have both.
Well, she could in theory have a young rich farang, but strangely there seems to be enough farang girls for those guys

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 7, 2012, 1:22 am

No, no, I am not kidding at all. If one is an old geezer with a wife who is 10+ years younger it is quite likely that somewhere along the line she will have a same-age Thai/Lao boyfriend to attend to her needs in a way that is not quite available to the older guy.

Of course, if the older guy is able to supply her with enough dosh, a house, and other material needs, it is quite likely that she will remain loyal to the best of her ability. This is probably true for most people around the world, not just Isaan.

Post by **tikky** » July 7, 2012, 2:54 am

I am 29 years old and have been married to a british man for several years he is 55 years old. there is 26 years difference between us . I've never cheated on him and take care him very well. Why is it assumed because there is a large age difference we cheat lie and try to get as much money from falang husband as we can. I believe if you love , honest and be good with someone that will happen the same way to you. hope you lucky to find true love.

Post by **jimboLV** » July 7, 2012, 7:46 am

Tikky, I suspect that it is jealousy on the part of some people that can't seem to hold on to their woman for various reasons, so they come on to sites like this and make pontifical statements.

Post by **BigBubba** » July 7, 2012, 9:35 am

tikky wrote:I am 29 years old and have been married to a british man for several years he is 55 years old. there is 26 years difference between us . I've never cheated on him and take care him very well. Why is it assumed because there is a large age difference we cheat lie and try to get as much money from falang husband as we can. I believe if you love , honest and be good with someone that will happen the same way to you. hope you lucky to find true love.

Proper use of prepositions, abbreviations, past tense, and grammar beyond any Thai I've ever met... even those who TEACH English in the schools... congratulations on your phenomenal abilities!

Post by **merchant seaman** » July 7, 2012, 9:38 am

BigBubba wrote:
tikky wrote:I am 29 years old and have been married to a british man for several years he is 55 years old. there is 26 years difference between us . I've never cheated on him and take care him very well. Why is it assumed because there is a large age difference we cheat lie and try to get as much money from falang husband as we can. I believe if you love , honest and be good with someone that will happen the same way to you. hope you lucky to find true love.
Proper use of prepositions, abbreviations, past tense, and grammar beyond any Thai I've ever met... even those who TEACH English in the schools... congratulations on your phenomenal abilities!

I agree with you Bubba. A very well educated Thai woman. Must hve studied in the UK.

Post by **tikky** » July 7, 2012, 3:12 pm

Thank you very much for compliment on my english language, I learn basic english in Thailand at nursing college, I have now been in the Uk for 2 years. So it shows what is possible if you study hard.

Post by **mathusalah80** » July 7, 2012, 8:27 pm

by Laan Yaa Mo » July 7, 2012, 1:22 am

No, no, I am not kidding at all. If one is an old geezer with a wife who is 10+ years younger it is quite likely that somewhere along the line she will have a same-age Thai/Lao boyfriend to attend to her needs in a way that is not quite available to the older guy.

Of course, if the older guy is able to supply her with enough dosh, a house, and other material needs, it is quite likely that she will remain loyal to the best of her ability. This is probably true for most people around the world, not just Isaan.
...........................................................

As you obviously know, it is the easiest thing in the world to make generalized, unsubstantiated statements , based upon personal prejudices. So, bearing in mind your expressed dogmatic and highly generalized views on Thai females;

1.Wat is your response to Tikky's posts? Please don't respond with the get-out that she is an exception, unless of course you have factual evidence, and or personal experience in Thailand, to support your highly prejudicial views of Thai ladies, and young/old relationships in Thailand.

2.Similarly, are you an "older guy" and therefore able to speak from personal experience, that an "older guy" cannot 'attend to her needs"?

3.Also tell us the specifics to which you refer in referring to "in a way that is not quite available to the older guy"? . At what age does this 'older guy' become incapable of providing this mysterious mystical 'way that is not quite available....' Your answer could be quite interesting.

4.At what age do you consider a man becomes "an older guy'' ; is it 40.45.50 55, 60.....???

5. You state: Likely she will have '....a same age Thai/Lao boyfriend....' What is the basis of your statement? Or is it simply another personal opinion based on peronal prejudice?

Post by **wayne747** » July 9, 2012, 3:44 pm

semperfiguy wrote: I absolutely believe that some of these Thai girls have been at this game for so long trying to find the perfect mate, that when they do find Mr. Perfect, they simply miss the excitement of the chase and they don't possess the strong constitution to be able to say "no" to the lure. Internet dating can be just as addicting, if not more so, than alcohol or any drug. They cheat to fill the void when Mr. Perfect doesn't turn out to be so perfect after all, or when Mr. Perfect is meeting most of her needs...but he's not around full time. They're also hedging their bets when Mr. Perfect hasn't quite yet sealed the deal with her, and they're looking for someone else to fall back on.

Again, I don't condone this type of behavior, but I'm just trying to offer up a new twist to understanding why people do the things that they do. But for the grace of God...there goes I!

That is very perceptive. There is probably a amount of addiction/habit to this. It must be hard going from "admired be several men" to "wife to one guy". Yes, they got Mr Perfect (or the best available), however as normal married life sets in, she discovers he leaves his socks on the floor, isn't as attentive as before during the courting phase, nags perhaps about expenses compared to lavish gifts before.

One can hope (and demand) they transition to married life.
I am not sure if I misunderstand Laan Yaa Mo, it sounds like he says the old farang husband should accept an "open" marriage where it is OK the thai wife has other connections, be it to other farang on the dating nets or the young thai boyfriend.
My point is simply that either is unacceptable.

Second, the experience of the OP and Mark is worse than bad - I am sorry for both.
I concur with one poster that you will not get the truth out of her. She may make a show and cry etc, but you will never know..

Post by **Aardvark** » July 9, 2012, 6:17 pm

I also agree with the comitment thingy, till death us do part etc. Why should some old guy go into a relationship with all the best intentions and pay all the bills just to find out that the woman wants more out of the relationship and decides to take a younger lover ?? Remember what every Thai Woman says, "you have another lady, I cut off your Dick" But, it's ok for them right ... Bull.... If they want a pretty Boy go for it and live in abject poverty and be happy with your bit in life, end of story !!

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 10, 2012, 4:06 am

mathusalah80 wrote:by Laan Yaa Mo » July 7, 2012, 1:22 am

No, no, I am not kidding at all. If one is an old geezer with a wife who is 10+ years younger it is quite likely that somewhere along the line she will have a same-age Thai/Lao boyfriend to attend to her needs in a way that is not quite available to the older guy.

Of course, if the older guy is able to supply her with enough dosh, a house, and other material needs, it is quite likely that she will remain loyal to the best of her ability. This is probably true for most people around the world, not just Isaan.
...........................................................

As you obviously know, it is the easiest thing in the world to make generalized, unsubstantiated statements , based upon personal prejudices. So, bearing in mind your expressed dogmatic and highly generalized views on Thai females;

1.Wat is your response to Tikky's posts? Please don't respond with the get-out that she is an exception, unless of course you have factual evidence, and or personal experience in Thailand, to support your highly prejudicial views of Thai ladies, and young/old relationships in Thailand.

2.Similarly, are you an "older guy" and therefore able to speak from personal experience, that an "older guy" cannot 'attend to her needs"?

3.Also tell us the specifics to which you refer in referring to "in a way that is not quite available to the older guy"? . At what age does this 'older guy' become incapable of providing this mysterious mystical 'way that is not quite available....' Your answer could be quite interesting.

4.At what age do you consider a man becomes "an older guy'' ; is it 40.45.50 55, 60.....???

5. You state: Likely she will have '....a same age Thai/Lao boyfriend....' What is the basis of your statement? Or is it simply another personal opinion based on peronal prejudice?

Wow! You are longwinded. 555+

1) yes, it is easy to make generalised statements for women around the world, not just in Isaan, that if they are in a relationship with a much older gentleman, more than likely, the lady is in it for security, not love. I mean really, how many ladies 10 years or more younger than the guy, can truly feel love for him. Their interests are likely divergent, and his body may be beyond repair...I mean...a fit shape. The white hair does not dazzle.

2)My response to Tikky's posts is that she seems to be a very genuine and nice lady. What, not wat, is your response to her posts?

3)Yes, I am an older guy soon to be 66. No, I have avoided the trap of which you write. Perhaps one reason is that I get by speaking, reading and writing Thai, and I have lived here long enough to have some insight into what goes on. Most of my general conclusion originates from knowing a number of foreigners who came here and hooked up with a young Thai lady thinking the person in question really and truly loved him. This includes Swedes, British, Americans, Canadians, Germans and the like.

Here are two examples: a manager from Coca-cola came to the Dept. of History at Chiang Mai University (1984 or so) looking for a wife, preferably from a Thai bar, since he only had two weeks of vacation. I advised him that his request was nere to impossible to achieve owing to a number of factors. In any case, I went home to the village that night and told a few people about this crazy farang who wanted to marry an unseen Thai bar girl. The next morning, 8-10 young Thai ladies told me that they would be willing to marry this guy just to help out their family. They were very poor and wanted to ease the financial burden of their parents. It did not matter that they probably would not fit in with his friends, family and work colleagues or that they would not be able to communicate together or have the same interests.

Example two was this 35-year old Thai lady and a 77-year old Swede who came to the village to meet with my sister-in-law. He was head over heels in love with her and praised her for her proper manners. For instance, she refused to sleep with him until they were in Sweden. As they criss-crossed Thailand he continually praised her for not sleeping with him, but staying in another room with her sister. Of course, the 35-year old Thai lady was a lesbian. The sister was her lover. The Swede and the lesbian stayed together a few years, and she was back in Thailand with her female lover. In the meantime, they made a killing with his money.

Anyway, there are tons of stories like this on Udon Map and the other forum (see Whittler). For the most part, as long as the money does not run out, the lady will be loyal, but if there are financial problems...watch out!

Often the older guy cannot get it up as easily as a younger guy, thus there is really no mystery to that.

4) Of course, it varies from individual to individual, but most people would consider 50 to be old age.

5) Me prejudiced? Prove it!
Anyway, if the lady is not getting satisfaction from her husband, she will, in most cases, look elsewhere. This holds true in all societies.

Post by **mathusalah80** » July 10, 2012, 10:47 am

Laan yaa wrote:
"Wow! You are longwinded. 555+"
................

Laan yaa's post: 592 words (appx).
My post: 204 words (appx).
555+, 555+, 555+.

As I have said to you previously, young man, you are long on rhetoric, excellent on semantics and avoiding answering specifics, but short on facts.

Post by **Laan Yaa Mo** » July 11, 2012, 12:57 am

Whatever (จ้างมันเต๊อะ).

You are such a dreadfully conceited bore at times. 555+