CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES
Foreign husbands bring big changes to Isaan
Somtam is out and hamburgers are in as more Northeast women adopt husbands' customs, according to a survey of the cultural impact of increasing Thai-Westerner marriages
Many Thai women in the Northeast who have married foreigners are now keener on eating pizzas and hamburgers than somtam and prefer celebrating Western holidays like Christmas and Valentine's Day to traditional Thai holidays, a Khon Kaen University study has found.
Cross-cultural marriages have caused major social changes in the Northeast, including less family participation in community activities, the study - released yesterday - said.
A mix of various aspects of the two cultures was on the rise, the study found. It cited the example of many Thai wives now being keener on eating Western food and almost forgetting somtam - the region's popular papaya salad dish.
The head of the study, Asst Prof Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu of the university's Faculty of Nursing, said her team interviewed 231 Thai wives in Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Roi Et and found that foreign son-in-laws had caused the community-oriented Northeasterners to become the more individualistic and give less attention to social interaction.
Cross-cultural couples had less interaction with neighbours because foreign husbands faced language and cultural obstacles, while the wives tried to adjust by becoming "farang" rather than helping their husbands to be more 'Thai', Supawatanakorn said.
Thai culture in these families was thus overshadowed by Western culture, with the families' own consent, due to the pride of having foreign sons-in-law, she said.
The researchers also found most wives interviewed were either not interested or less enthusiastic about traditional Thai holidays - such as Buddhist Lent and Makha Bucha Day - compared with Western holidays like Christmas Day or Valentine's Day.
"In some Khon Kaen villages, with dozens of women marrying farangs, Christmas Day is no different from the movies with real traditional Christmas celebrations, while many Northeastern festivals were forgotten," the academic said.
On the other hand, many foreign husbands enjoyed celebrating the Songkran festival but did not understand the tradition and meaning behind it, she said.
The wives still ate somtam, which they grew up eating, but also ate pizza, hamburgers or fried chicken as a symbol of their adjustment to Western culture.
Many ended up eating both local and Western dishes, while their husbands found it harder to adjust to local food and stuck more to Western food.
Supawatanakorn said that since the wives found it more convenient to cook once for all family members including their husbands, Northeastern food - especially somtam with fermented fish - had gradually disappeared from their meals, she said.
The study found that most Northeastern Thai women married to foreigners were over 30, with an average age of 35, and had education below secondary level. More than 70 per cent had previously wed and divorced Thai husbands and most had one child from the first marriage.
Supawatanakorn said most wives saw their cross-cultural marriage as turning over a new leaf.
The average age of farang husbands was 50, and most came from Germany, Britain and Scandinavia. A fourth of those over 60 had brought their retirement funds to settle down with Thai wives who took care of them, Supawatanakorn said.
The foreign husbands had an average income of Bt60,000 a month, but most of their wives didn't know their husband's work or educational background. The wives were mainly interested in whether their husbands had enough money to support the family, she said.
The study also found that Isaan families whose members had married foreigners had changed their views on choosing spouses. From the traditional practice of parents choosing spouses for their children, the decision is now made by the individual and is based mainly on economic security. Some women agreed to marry foreigners they had never met before the wedding day as they felt that if the man had money, the villagers would eventually accept and respect them.
With the obvious increase in wealth of wives married to farang, due to their husbands' financial support, some 90 per cent of residents surveyed said they wanted their daughters to marry foreigners, Supawatanakorn said.
Some girls told the researchers they were prepared to fly overseas to marry a foreigner when they grew up.
Cross-cultural marriages were also supported by the older generation as these couples took care of their own children instead of placing the burden on the grandparents, or could afford nannies.
However, the cross-cultural marriage weakened the children's language skills as parents spoke to them in a mix of Thai and English, which confused the kids and made them less fluent in the Thai language, she said.
The children's English skills were limited to basic daily communication due to the parents' limited educational background or a less stimulating social environment.
In areas with many farang
residents there was the phenomenon of shops putting up signs for their goods in Thai and English and of English being spoken between vendors and husbands, Supawatanakorn said.
Sumalee Phopayak
The Nation
KHON KAEN[/quote]
Effects of cross cultural marriages
Re: Effects of cross cultural marriages
o for ---- sake ,what a load of bull shi.t that isBKKSTAN wrote:CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES
Foreign husbands bring big changes to Isaan
Somtam is out and hamburgers are in as more Northeast women adopt husbands' customs, according to a survey of the cultural impact of increasing Thai-Westerner marriages
Many Thai women in the Northeast who have married foreigners are now keener on eating pizzas and hamburgers than somtam
Where to begin in response to this topic.
Lets start with some background info about myself and my wife.
I am now 45 I come from a mostly working class family. I have had a few years of collage but no degree. I work as a contractor with my own co. in the states. My mother was a high school grad and worked for the phone co. most of her life. My father was a collage grad and worked as a teacher. My parents devoriced when I was 13 ( typical American family ). Both are now passed away.
My Thai wife is now 27 with a high school education. Her family are farmers in Tub Kung village.
I belive that a formal education is not always the key to being smart, life experiances have a lot to do with it. Mohommed once said "show me someone well educated and I will show you someone well traveled ".
I first met my wife online when I was 38. After about a 6 month online relationship I came to Thailand for the first time to marry her. At the time her sister was also married to an American. A marriage that only lasted 2 years. I think due to immaturity and age differance she was 16 he was 52. I also think she was pressured into marriage because her father was sick. The security and economic benifets a farang had to offer were too much for the family to pass up in light of her fathers health problems.
Yes, I belive my wife was persuaded into our marriage also, yet I think we had something more love maybe, maturity. not sure.
We have been married 6 years now and I am sure we have a loving relationship. This is my first marriage. My wife was married once before me. Her husband was killed by a farang in a drunk driving accident. They had only been married a few months. The farung paid his way out of the situation 50,000 bht for the guys family nothing for my wife.
Our marriage was not always easy, in the begining there was the language barrier we had to have a Thai-English dictionary with us at all times.
She became very homesick at times even though we would come back once or twice a year to visit.
There was the money thing as well she always needed wanted money to send home. This became rather trying at times but we came to an understanding. We only send money so the family can help themselves ( give a man a fish he'll eat today teach a man to fish he'll eat for the rest of his life ).
This seems to be working out well.
We are now back here in Thailand after a three year stint in the states due to my wife's pregnency and the birth of our first child. There are many reasons for our visit this time. Amoung them was my desire to experence the Thai holiday Loi Kratong
to have my child experiance Thai culture at an early age and of cource so his grandmother can see him. Our trip will last 4 weeks this time. Each time I come here I become more enthrouled with the Thai people and culture and can not wait until I can retire and spend the rest of my days here.
In the states my wife has continued to eat many of her traditional Issan foods. Because we live near a major city ( Philadelphia ) which has a large SE Asian community it has been rather easy for her to find her traditional food. At home she eats somtom on a daily basis. She is able to make bidak, nua hang and many other Issan foods. Now she can also enjoy a good fettichini, Polish sauage, crapes or Belgin waffle along with many other things.
In America assimilation is often the key to succes although not always. This is why we are lucky to be able to eat foods fron all over the world ie.Italian Chinese, Polish, Thai and many many others.
Assimilation does not mean giving up your cultural idenity but rather blending your traditional culture with your new one.
Our cross cultural marriage has broadened both of our horizons and made us better people.
Many cultures have influnced the american way of life. We now celabrate Cinco de mayo ( 1st of May )
a traditionaly Mexican holiday, Yom Kippur (Jewish )
Chinese New Year, and many others.
As for the language thing. Take a person moderatly educated person from Issan down to the southern part of the country and they will have a hard time being understood. Same in America take someome from Boston down to New Orlenes they will have the same problem. This is a geographical phenomanon not a cultural one.
The practice of arranged marriages is old hat in most forward thinking socities and is one tradition I would be glad to see disappear. I think the youth of today would also agree no matter what country they are from.
This Asst Prof Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu does he sit around in a sarong all day or travel in an ox-cart ? I doubt it. It seems to me that he has not had much interaction with other cultures. I find it hard to belive his studies have only produced the negative results that were published in The Nation
If these were the only things that came out of his report then I hope this Prof. is not stereotypical of the teachers infuincing todays Thai youth.
The major problem I have with this report is that it is steteotypical. Stereotyping breeds resentment.
Resentment causes most of the worlds problems.
This big blue marble we live on has gotten a lot smaller in the last few centuries first with the advent of sailing ships then the airplane, telephone, internet who knows what will be next. So unless the nukes hit the world will forever be moving forward.
Cultures have been influncing each other for thousands of years mostly through war and conquest. Marriage is a better way to spred cultural unity.
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
ED
Lets start with some background info about myself and my wife.
I am now 45 I come from a mostly working class family. I have had a few years of collage but no degree. I work as a contractor with my own co. in the states. My mother was a high school grad and worked for the phone co. most of her life. My father was a collage grad and worked as a teacher. My parents devoriced when I was 13 ( typical American family ). Both are now passed away.
My Thai wife is now 27 with a high school education. Her family are farmers in Tub Kung village.
I belive that a formal education is not always the key to being smart, life experiances have a lot to do with it. Mohommed once said "show me someone well educated and I will show you someone well traveled ".
I first met my wife online when I was 38. After about a 6 month online relationship I came to Thailand for the first time to marry her. At the time her sister was also married to an American. A marriage that only lasted 2 years. I think due to immaturity and age differance she was 16 he was 52. I also think she was pressured into marriage because her father was sick. The security and economic benifets a farang had to offer were too much for the family to pass up in light of her fathers health problems.
Yes, I belive my wife was persuaded into our marriage also, yet I think we had something more love maybe, maturity. not sure.
We have been married 6 years now and I am sure we have a loving relationship. This is my first marriage. My wife was married once before me. Her husband was killed by a farang in a drunk driving accident. They had only been married a few months. The farung paid his way out of the situation 50,000 bht for the guys family nothing for my wife.
Our marriage was not always easy, in the begining there was the language barrier we had to have a Thai-English dictionary with us at all times.
She became very homesick at times even though we would come back once or twice a year to visit.
There was the money thing as well she always needed wanted money to send home. This became rather trying at times but we came to an understanding. We only send money so the family can help themselves ( give a man a fish he'll eat today teach a man to fish he'll eat for the rest of his life ).
This seems to be working out well.
We are now back here in Thailand after a three year stint in the states due to my wife's pregnency and the birth of our first child. There are many reasons for our visit this time. Amoung them was my desire to experence the Thai holiday Loi Kratong
to have my child experiance Thai culture at an early age and of cource so his grandmother can see him. Our trip will last 4 weeks this time. Each time I come here I become more enthrouled with the Thai people and culture and can not wait until I can retire and spend the rest of my days here.
In the states my wife has continued to eat many of her traditional Issan foods. Because we live near a major city ( Philadelphia ) which has a large SE Asian community it has been rather easy for her to find her traditional food. At home she eats somtom on a daily basis. She is able to make bidak, nua hang and many other Issan foods. Now she can also enjoy a good fettichini, Polish sauage, crapes or Belgin waffle along with many other things.
In America assimilation is often the key to succes although not always. This is why we are lucky to be able to eat foods fron all over the world ie.Italian Chinese, Polish, Thai and many many others.
Assimilation does not mean giving up your cultural idenity but rather blending your traditional culture with your new one.
Our cross cultural marriage has broadened both of our horizons and made us better people.
Many cultures have influnced the american way of life. We now celabrate Cinco de mayo ( 1st of May )
a traditionaly Mexican holiday, Yom Kippur (Jewish )
Chinese New Year, and many others.
As for the language thing. Take a person moderatly educated person from Issan down to the southern part of the country and they will have a hard time being understood. Same in America take someome from Boston down to New Orlenes they will have the same problem. This is a geographical phenomanon not a cultural one.
The practice of arranged marriages is old hat in most forward thinking socities and is one tradition I would be glad to see disappear. I think the youth of today would also agree no matter what country they are from.
This Asst Prof Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu does he sit around in a sarong all day or travel in an ox-cart ? I doubt it. It seems to me that he has not had much interaction with other cultures. I find it hard to belive his studies have only produced the negative results that were published in The Nation
If these were the only things that came out of his report then I hope this Prof. is not stereotypical of the teachers infuincing todays Thai youth.
The major problem I have with this report is that it is steteotypical. Stereotyping breeds resentment.
Resentment causes most of the worlds problems.
This big blue marble we live on has gotten a lot smaller in the last few centuries first with the advent of sailing ships then the airplane, telephone, internet who knows what will be next. So unless the nukes hit the world will forever be moving forward.
Cultures have been influncing each other for thousands of years mostly through war and conquest. Marriage is a better way to spred cultural unity.
MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.
ED
-
laphanphon
yes, the professor obviously has a problem with farangs. i guess he doesn't seem to notice all the thai/thai couples eating at all the farang food restaurants all over thailand. the farang husband has nothing to do with it. i ask many times where to eat, and the GF and kid will suggest farang food, especially when out and about in bkk.
arranged marriages, they just don't work, not with a self thinking woman, sooner or later they are going to want to be happy, their way. education breed progress, and traditions are something of the past to be lived in the past, some just don't work today. nice to have and remember, pass on, but practice, no, what was and is accepted are two different things for different times.
also don't understand how he thinks it weakens the childs communication/language skills. being bilinqual has got to be a plus.
as you say, hope this isn't the thinking professor teaching standard.
arranged marriages, they just don't work, not with a self thinking woman, sooner or later they are going to want to be happy, their way. education breed progress, and traditions are something of the past to be lived in the past, some just don't work today. nice to have and remember, pass on, but practice, no, what was and is accepted are two different things for different times.
also don't understand how he thinks it weakens the childs communication/language skills. being bilinqual has got to be a plus.
as you say, hope this isn't the thinking professor teaching standard.
-
jackspratt
- udonmap.com
- Posts: 17088
- Joined: July 2, 2006, 5:29 pm
Re: Effects of cross cultural marriages
Why is the messenger (the Professor) being attacked here?BKKSTAN wrote:CROSS-CULTURAL MARRIAGES
Foreign husbands bring big changes to Isaan
according to a survey of the cultural impact of increasing Thai-Westerner marriages
a Khon Kaen University study has found.
the study - released yesterday - said.
the study found.
The researchers also found
The study found
The study also found
some 90 per cent of residents surveyed
Some girls told the researchers
It is a report on a survey/study. The reaction from board members is very negative - but based on what?
Has "farang" done his own survey?
And where does the professor demonstrate that she has a problem with farangs?
jack
I don't know that you would call what has been said as an attack, We don't have to do surveys we live it everyday.
If I go ask farrangs about Thai's do you think I would get a clear picture of what thai; ar really like. In my mind in order to develop a clear opinnion a little time you should have been spent interviewing the farrang husbands and wives.
I'm sure the professor believes everything that was written. But on our end of it we know what our lives are like and we simply disagree with the findings. That is not an attack.
If I go ask farrangs about Thai's do you think I would get a clear picture of what thai; ar really like. In my mind in order to develop a clear opinnion a little time you should have been spent interviewing the farrang husbands and wives.
I'm sure the professor believes everything that was written. But on our end of it we know what our lives are like and we simply disagree with the findings. That is not an attack.
No attacking ment here, its just strange to hear a university Prof. posting a report that has basicly said the only positive aspect of these cross cultural marriages was an economic one.
It does not sound like an unbias report.
Info from these kinds of studies/surveys can be twisted and turned to say almost anything you want.
I think this is what happened here.
It does not sound like an unbias report.
Info from these kinds of studies/surveys can be twisted and turned to say almost anything you want.
I think this is what happened here.
VENUS'S VISION
Don't blame Isaan wives; women are all the same
I've never thought of dating a farang. I've never thought of getting married to a farang.I've never thought of staying abroad with a farang husband.
But I'm by no means romantically xenophobic and I do understand why an increasing number of Thai women prefer Westerners to Thai men. It is also easily understood that Thai women are a popular choice for foreigners seeking help from Internet matchmakers.
What I doubt is the research finding by Khon Kaen University which suggests that Isaan women who marry foreigners cause major social changes, as they adopt their husbands' customs and lifestyles. The research, led by Asst Professor Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu, on the effect of cross-cultural marriages on families in the northeast of Thailand made headlines and caused hot discussions in Internet chat rooms.
Well, it is just too hard to swallow when the study says that Isaan wives are more fond of Western fast food like pizza or hamburgers rather than their staple somtam (papaya salad) and pla-ra (fermented fish).
I guess the research methodology was a questionnaire. If it was, why don't we adjust a question and ask the 231 respondents in the same study: "What would you choose if you had to eat the same food for a week?" We'll give them choices of somtam, hamburger or pizza. We shall see if somtam has lost its charm and whether foreign husbands make the spicy yet delicious dish dull.
With a spouse, regardless of nationality, a woman will always adapt, more or less. Compromise is the route to the goal of a smooth relationship. If you are dating an Indian, you would gradually get used to the smell of masala, and the same applies, with other nationalities, to getting familiar with the likes of blue cheese or anchovies.
Isaan wives are just like us when it comes to relationships and friendships. So it is not strange to see they celebrate Christmas in a joyful way. If foreigners make sacrifices to stay with them in Thailand and take care of their families, making sure that they have a good time on Christmas Day is just part of the couple's effort to keep their marriage on a rosy path - particularly when the foreign husband is the breadwinner.
It may be too simplistic to read from the same research that the foreigners' wives in the Northeast are not so enthusiastic about traditional Thai holidays like Buddhist Lent and Makha Bucha Day. It is unfair to them to arrive at such a conclusion. Try inquiring of city women and see which day is celebrated more: Makha Bucha Day or Christmas Day? Get my point?
Ironically it is Isaan women who have married foreigners and lived abroad who maintain the spirit of Buddhist holidays and festivals like Songkran by frequently visiting Thai temples. Fortunately, we haven't heard any complaints that they have caused changes in their new society by going to the Thai temples too often. No one petitions us that tom yum goong has become too popular because of Thai wives living in foreign countries.
The Isaan women in the study were an easy target for stereotyping. True, they are more exposed to foreign culture through their other halves, and they may have adopted some Western ways of life. But are they really different from city women who carry Louis Vuitton, wear Prada shoes and dine out at Western restaurants?
Perhaps the way the Isaan women have started enjoying pizza is just the same as city women who worship foreign designer brand names. The real difference is that women in the capital need not date a foreigner or marry one to adopt his culture. And even when a city woman starts seeing a Westerner, she probably doesn't need to change a thing, for she has already been Westernised enough.
And if one wants to target an Isaan women for marrying a foreigner for economic reasons, please think again. Do not forget that many wealthy Thai women, and especially those in the middle-classes, also take economic reasons into consideration when they choose their life partner.
As for Thai men, they may have realised by now that cross-cultural marriages are on the rise. Thai men have to ask themselves why - since they come in a good, compatible package and appreciate the taste of somtam?
Some women are finding foreigners more dependable? I bet the answer is not all about money!
Veena Thoopkrajae
Don't blame Isaan wives; women are all the same
I've never thought of dating a farang. I've never thought of getting married to a farang.I've never thought of staying abroad with a farang husband.
But I'm by no means romantically xenophobic and I do understand why an increasing number of Thai women prefer Westerners to Thai men. It is also easily understood that Thai women are a popular choice for foreigners seeking help from Internet matchmakers.
What I doubt is the research finding by Khon Kaen University which suggests that Isaan women who marry foreigners cause major social changes, as they adopt their husbands' customs and lifestyles. The research, led by Asst Professor Supawatanakorn Wongtha-nawasu, on the effect of cross-cultural marriages on families in the northeast of Thailand made headlines and caused hot discussions in Internet chat rooms.
Well, it is just too hard to swallow when the study says that Isaan wives are more fond of Western fast food like pizza or hamburgers rather than their staple somtam (papaya salad) and pla-ra (fermented fish).
I guess the research methodology was a questionnaire. If it was, why don't we adjust a question and ask the 231 respondents in the same study: "What would you choose if you had to eat the same food for a week?" We'll give them choices of somtam, hamburger or pizza. We shall see if somtam has lost its charm and whether foreign husbands make the spicy yet delicious dish dull.
With a spouse, regardless of nationality, a woman will always adapt, more or less. Compromise is the route to the goal of a smooth relationship. If you are dating an Indian, you would gradually get used to the smell of masala, and the same applies, with other nationalities, to getting familiar with the likes of blue cheese or anchovies.
Isaan wives are just like us when it comes to relationships and friendships. So it is not strange to see they celebrate Christmas in a joyful way. If foreigners make sacrifices to stay with them in Thailand and take care of their families, making sure that they have a good time on Christmas Day is just part of the couple's effort to keep their marriage on a rosy path - particularly when the foreign husband is the breadwinner.
It may be too simplistic to read from the same research that the foreigners' wives in the Northeast are not so enthusiastic about traditional Thai holidays like Buddhist Lent and Makha Bucha Day. It is unfair to them to arrive at such a conclusion. Try inquiring of city women and see which day is celebrated more: Makha Bucha Day or Christmas Day? Get my point?
Ironically it is Isaan women who have married foreigners and lived abroad who maintain the spirit of Buddhist holidays and festivals like Songkran by frequently visiting Thai temples. Fortunately, we haven't heard any complaints that they have caused changes in their new society by going to the Thai temples too often. No one petitions us that tom yum goong has become too popular because of Thai wives living in foreign countries.
The Isaan women in the study were an easy target for stereotyping. True, they are more exposed to foreign culture through their other halves, and they may have adopted some Western ways of life. But are they really different from city women who carry Louis Vuitton, wear Prada shoes and dine out at Western restaurants?
Perhaps the way the Isaan women have started enjoying pizza is just the same as city women who worship foreign designer brand names. The real difference is that women in the capital need not date a foreigner or marry one to adopt his culture. And even when a city woman starts seeing a Westerner, she probably doesn't need to change a thing, for she has already been Westernised enough.
And if one wants to target an Isaan women for marrying a foreigner for economic reasons, please think again. Do not forget that many wealthy Thai women, and especially those in the middle-classes, also take economic reasons into consideration when they choose their life partner.
As for Thai men, they may have realised by now that cross-cultural marriages are on the rise. Thai men have to ask themselves why - since they come in a good, compatible package and appreciate the taste of somtam?
Some women are finding foreigners more dependable? I bet the answer is not all about money!
Veena Thoopkrajae
Congradulations well thought out and well written. Christmas a cute story my wife had her first Christmas tree with me. But she began singing Jingle Bells. So she definetly know something about Christmas before she met a farang since I was the first she had encountered, (poor girl)
This year we are sharing our Christmas with our houskeeper , her husband and two daughters. This will be thier first but they knew what it was.
Couldn't speak a word of english but could sing Jingle Bells, not accurately but she knew it.
It makes you wonder what world these acedemics live in certainly not the one I live in everyday
The study was flawed from the very beginning, the study was to prove that the researcher was right, not to find the truth. So the researcher doesn't have a true picture of what such a realtionship is like. Worse then that anyone who read it and believes it doesn't have a clue, but think they know.
I wish I could write as well as you do
This year we are sharing our Christmas with our houskeeper , her husband and two daughters. This will be thier first but they knew what it was.
Couldn't speak a word of english but could sing Jingle Bells, not accurately but she knew it.
It makes you wonder what world these acedemics live in certainly not the one I live in everyday
The study was flawed from the very beginning, the study was to prove that the researcher was right, not to find the truth. So the researcher doesn't have a true picture of what such a realtionship is like. Worse then that anyone who read it and believes it doesn't have a clue, but think they know.
I wish I could write as well as you do