Those over 65 having kids with much younger spouse

Post by **newtovillagelife** » November 21, 2014, 4:42 pm

Just wondering if falangs would even consider having children at that age if they were in their home countries.

Post by **Sakhonnick** » November 22, 2014, 7:04 am

I think its wrong unless, the father has money and pension behind him to support the child up to say 20years old, and also throw in the fact the child might not grow up with a father around..for me its wrong, i would say 50 is the cut off..because atleast your only 70 when the kid is up and about..just my opinion

Post by **parrot** » November 22, 2014, 7:24 am

I'd question the same thing except.....I know of a few 80-ish year olds here who had kids in their late 50's early 60's. They've lived to see them in their teens and twenties. The kids are smart, polite, speak excellent English, and perform well in school. A father can just as easily die in his 30s or 40's......well, maybe not just as easily, but for sure there's plenty that do.

Post by **merchant seaman** » November 22, 2014, 8:42 am

Depends on the health of the man.What should the age of the mother be?

Post by **parrot** » November 22, 2014, 9:01 am

merchant seaman wrote:Depends on the health of the man.What should the age of the mother be?

And who gets to decide what's the right age? Or age spread? Or number of children or not.
A now deceased British friend of ours came over here after his British wife of 41 years died of cancer. He married a woman significantly younger than he was. He was a fine man, raised the woman's daughter as if she were his own, and may (or may not) have tried to have another child of his own with his Thai wife. If he did, the child would have been 15 when he died.
As I said, he was a fine man.......would have been a fine man still if he had a child or two with his new wife.

Post by **merchant seaman** » November 22, 2014, 9:09 am

I would imagine my feelings would be different if my 60 year friend wanted to date or marry my 20 year old daughter.

Post by **Khun Paul** » November 22, 2014, 9:21 am

So the question is, should a man of 65 or over father a child by his Thai wife ( we will not discuss the age but obviously younger ) .
Well the honest answer is I do not know, myself personally I stopped short of that as I feel that I will not be alive when the maturing teenager needs father figure to guide and assist him/her, while I may be selfish in my outlook I do feel that 65 or older is a no no. However it really does depend on how the lady in question feels, if she is awre that in many cases the money dries up after her husbands/boy friends death , her family is supportive and she is happy to do most of the running about after the child, then that is her choice.
having a child does not in my book guarantee a solid relationship and I am sure being devils advocate here, that many Thai women see the child as a way of ensuring a constant flow of funds for them ( A bit cynical I may be, but often the truth hurts ) .
It is up to each and every one of us to determine what you want to do and why, who are any of us to tell an adult what to do, but you really should consider what their life without you would be like, if it worries you then the answer is clear.
Tie a bloody knot in it ...............

and

Post by **parrot** » November 22, 2014, 9:22 am

I thought this was about having kids

Post by **rufus** » November 22, 2014, 9:32 am

Attitudes such as those expressed by Sakhonnick are quite silly. Clearly it depends on the circumstances and the wishes of the couple.

Post by **semperfiguy** » November 22, 2014, 10:11 am

I doubt very seriously if more than a small percentage of these children by older fathers is really planned. If the truth is known most of us are accidents anyway. I have one friend my age whose wife tricked him and stopped taking her birth control medication so she could get pregnant and trap him into marrying him. Some of these girls are very clever and know every trick in the book which they learn from other girls who have already successfully perpetrated the sham. If an American has a child with his Thai wife/gf, he can apply for Social Security assistance and the US government will cut the kid a check for around $1000 a month until the child is 18 years of age. That's more than enough money to support both the wife and the child if she becomes a widow, and that becomes a built-in income for the wife/gf for many years in case the hubby kicks the bucket early on. While not every child born to an older man is a sham, I'd say most are simply the result of poor planning or no planning at all! Taking a survey would be an exercise in futility. Who's going to tell you the truth anyway!

Post by **noosard** » November 22, 2014, 10:32 am

I see all the Thai grand parents looking after the kids
they seem to love have the family
so age is not the problem
me personally would not like to have another kid in 10 years time
but I could end up with the grand kids by then to look after

Post by **Sakhonnick** » November 22, 2014, 10:39 am

rufus wrote:Attitudes such as those expressed by Sakhonnick are quite silly. Clearly it depends on the circumstances and the wishes of the couple.

Elaborate more and tell me why my Attitude is silly?

If a guy 65 and over has a kid he is being selfish unless he has a portfolio that will support the Child up to say 20years old and does not care that he might not be around to see that.

My opinion of a cut of of 50 is a general number, and again its MY opinion..

Post by **glalt** » November 22, 2014, 10:43 am

This is just my personal opinion. Some guys enjoy children and some enjoy a ready made family. I raised my first family and certainly want to enjoy my retirement without having to worry about children. I did come to Thailand with the intent of eventually finding a wife. One of the main requirements was to find a wife who had no children and to explain to her that there are no children in the future. It took me a number of years to find that woman.

Many of us have gone through a divorce and child support payments. I want no more of that.

Post by **Zidane** » November 22, 2014, 1:15 pm

Everybodys circumstances are different and,of course,its up to each individual to discuss with their partner the pros and cons of becoming a father again in your advancing years.

For me,I would say its tough enough being the parent of a boisterous teenager if you are in your 40's or early 50's.

Imagine over here if you are in your mid 80's and have an out of control teenage son high on yabba !
Trying to keep him in check as you shuffle after him in your zimmer frame with your incontinence pants becoming looser with each step you make !

So,certainly not for me but I respect the guys who choose to become dads again.

Post by **trubrit** » November 22, 2014, 2:07 pm

Zidane wrote:.
.

Imagine over here if you are in your mid 80's and have an out of control teenage son high on yabba !
Trying to keep him in check as you shuffle after him in your zimmer frame with your incontinence pants becoming looser with each step you make !
.

Not that I would consider becoming a father again , in fact I had the snip when I was 35, as I just don't relate to the little squealing monsters, but I would ask why you consider that a man in his eighties would automatically be incontinent and not capable of walking without a zimmer frame.I am an octogenarian and use neither, in fact I also have a 17 year old step son and am completely capable of controlling him using love and guidance .

Post by **noosard** » November 22, 2014, 2:14 pm

I am in my mid 50s and have more time to be with my kids than a lot of younger dads who have to work 5-6 days a week or spend weeks away working
So blokes in their 60s who are probably retired are more likely to have more time to be with their kids

Post by **Zidane** » November 22, 2014, 2:33 pm

trubrit wrote: I would ask why you consider that a man in his eighties would automatically be incontinent and not capable of walking without a zimmer frame.I am an octogenarian and use neither .

The bit about the zimmer frame and incontinence pants was made "tongue in cheek" tb.
Just relax,pour yourself another ice cold Old Speckled Hen and continue to enjoy the good life !

Post by **GT93** » November 22, 2014, 3:07 pm

noosard wrote:I am in my mid 50s and have more time to be with my kids than a lot of younger dads who have to work 5-6 days a week or spend weeks away working
So blokes in their 60s who are probably retired are more likely to have more time to be with their kids

A good point and older guys these days can still be pretty with it. There are a fair few 60 pluses who have the health and vigor of younger chaps.

Post by **rick** » November 22, 2014, 3:50 pm

Not quite 65 yet and i have a daughter of 3 years old. It is the wife's first. I didn't see it as a problem, and their is some financial support available from my pension if i die until she is 18 or so. The first year was not a problem, but she is very active and definitely a handful now - tires us both out. Wouldn't really want another one; two like her would be a full-time job - I'm retired!

Post by **Barney** » November 22, 2014, 4:13 pm

rick wrote:Not quite 65 yet and i have a daughter of 3 years old. It is the wife's first. I didn't see it as a problem, and their is some financial support available from my pension if i die until she is 18 or so. The first year was not a problem, but she is very active and definitely a handful now - tires us both out. Wouldn't really want another one; two like her would be a full-time job - I'm retired!

Well done Rick, just the positive response needed on this thread. I am sure you are getting a lot more smiles in your prime of life than if you did not have your young girl. They keep you young as well while you go through your 2nd child hood with them.
I would hope that being you wife's first would perhaps bring you closer together. Well maybe being 3 not closer in the bed

My experience is the bed gets shared a lot more when the toddlers are around.
Good luck