Those over 65 having kids with much younger spouse

Post by **Bandung_Dero** » November 22, 2014, 4:31 pm

Yep, we have quite a number around here fathering in their mid to late sixties and beyond. To a man they all seem to dote on their new families, treat and provide for them very well or at least the best they can. OK some marriages are not going as well but that is primarily the Thai extended family interfering.

Some 13 years ago I came under pressure (I was then in my very early 50's) from TW to have my 'Snip' reversed, TTF it was done some 20 years earlier and not possible.

Post by **BigBubba** » November 22, 2014, 6:52 pm

Bandung_Dero wrote: Some 13 years ago I came under pressure (I was then in my very early 50's) from TW to have my 'Snip' reversed, TTF it was done some 20 years earlier and not possible.

Been trying to explain this to my wife for the last 5 years. I had my big "V" more than 25 years ago and I distinctly remember smelling of burning flesh during the process, so I'm quite confident it's not reversible. At least not with any easy procedure that I'm willing to endure OR pay for. However, I can see the tendency to want to start a new family and not redo all the mistakes from your first one(s). I, too, have friends that fall into this category and I'd second the above observations that all seem to be quite happy and well adjusted.

Post by **old-timer** » November 23, 2014, 12:54 am

My wife and I have decided to adopt a child up to 4 years old when I retire between 55 and 60 years old. I'm sure I will be as good a Dad in my senior years as I am now and was when I was younger.
I'm not sure how the Thai orphanages will look at allowing us to adopt when I am at that age, IMO it makes perfect sense as I will always be there and able to get actively involved with his/her upbringing. The security, love and attention will all be there for the child even though I'm getting on a bit.

OT..................... $\:D/$

Post by **papafarang** » November 23, 2014, 1:35 am

there are health issues with having children in later life for a man. apparently starts at about 35 years of age for men and women. not so bad if your wife is below 35. something to do with women having all their eggs that last a lifetime ,but men reproduce sperm constantly, as we get older our baby gravy starts to have abnormalities
a woman's body will naturally get rid of bad sperms but after she's 35 its not so good, so if you are thinking of putting a bun in the oven you should have tests to make sure the baby will be alright, raising a baby at old age would be hard work, but could be a nightmare with a disabled child

Post by **cactus** » November 23, 2014, 6:31 am

good post papafarang. by the way are you in town mate?

Post by **Bandung_Dero** » November 23, 2014, 6:33 am

BigBubba wrote: I had my big "V" more than 25 years ago and I distinctly remember smelling of burning flesh during the process, so I'm quite confident it's not reversible. At least not with any easy procedure that I'm willing to endure OR pay for.

Mine wasn't quarterized rather than the tubes were tied with very fine thread, in two places, and snipped in between. Well that's the way they explained it to me, as well as that it could be reversed up to 7 years.

Post by **glalt** » November 23, 2014, 9:30 am

After reading all the posts, I think that it all depends whether you like kids. I'm a crotchety old fart and have no patience for them. They get on my nerves far too much.

Post by **merchant seaman** » November 23, 2014, 9:35 am

Grand kids are great. When you get tired playing with them you can give them back to mom and dad, or when they need a change of diapers.

Post by **fatbob** » November 23, 2014, 9:59 am

It's gotta be up to the 65 year old and his wife, it's nobody else's business, if I was 65 and someone told me I couldn't have kids I'd tell em to f off in no uncertain terms.

Post by **sabaiking** » November 23, 2014, 11:24 am

As a young fella with a 2 year old kid I would say "why not?". Of course the parenting will be very different then being younger but everything has its advantages and disadvantages. Of course playing outside and catching a 3-4 old who runs away in the supermarket can be tricky...but it is possible and daddy probably has a lot more experience about life to teach...

Post by **papafarang** » November 23, 2014, 2:41 pm

cactus wrote:good post papafarang. by the way are you in town mate?

no mate, still sunning myself on the east Anglia Riviera

. back in udon on the 6th of December with sacks of goodies for christmas

Post by **rick** » November 23, 2014, 3:35 pm

The issue of birth defects due to age is mainly one for the woman. A woman is born with all her eggs she will ever have at Birth - which means there is plenty of time for damage to occur to the DNA. As said, after age 35 the rate of abnormalities increases rapidly. Men produce sperm continuously so always fresh - although the cells they are produced from can become damaged; however the meiosis process and the fact they have to be able to swim means bad sperm are screened out to some degree. There are studies that claim sperm of older men are more likely to cause defects, but this is not as clear cut as for a woman. For sperm, survival of the fittest is very much the case.

Post by **old-timer** » November 23, 2014, 3:41 pm

rick wrote: For sperm, survival of the fittest is very much the case.

Interesting.

OT................ $\:D/$

Post by **wazza** » November 24, 2014, 9:42 am

25% chance of Downs Syndrome if the mother is over 40 years of age.

Post by **noosard** » November 24, 2014, 9:58 am

wazza wrote:25% chance of Downs Syndrome if the mother is over 40 years of age.

I think you mean a 25% incresae in chance

Post by **svensk1** » November 28, 2014, 4:25 pm

While many of you have had valid points, I have not seen anyone consider the point of view of the woman/wife. I am married to a beautiful Doctor 35 years old. She was never married before, has never had a child, but wanted one before the risk of birth defects became too significant. I am 25 years her senior, never had a biological child before either. We considered many of the risks, and weighed our options , including adoption. We made the commitment to have a child, and now we are expecting the birth of our Daughter in February. We are perhaps not the average mixed couple, but this is a decision that should include both the Father and the Mother. We are financially secure, my wife comes from a very supportive family with 3 unmarried Sisters. As a result our child will have plenty of attention. Since I am an American, and paid the maximum amount into Social Security for years, our children will be able to collect about 800 US dollars a month up until age 22 ;if they stay in school. I hope to be around for a while, but the most important thing to me is that I trust my wife to bring up our Daughter in a loving supportive home, with or without me. Right now, I think I will be a better Dad than I could have been at age 25 or 30. I was always working long hours, somewhat insecure about the future of my marriage , and (although I didn't know it at the time) still had a lot to learn. Now, I think and pray I will be more patient, more understanding, and will have the time to nurture our child better than I could when I was younger. Just as some older Farangs make better partners for Thai women ; for the same reasons, they just might make better parents too. Will this be a challenge? Will this be physically demanding? Of course. Life is ;isn't it?

Post by **jai yen yen** » November 29, 2014, 7:37 am

svensk1 wrote:While many of you have had valid points, I have not seen anyone consider the point of view of the woman/wife. I am married to a beautiful Doctor 35 years old. She was never married before, has never had a child, but wanted one before the risk of birth defects became too significant. I am 25 years her senior, never had a biological child before either. We considered many of the risks, and weighed our options , including adoption. We made the commitment to have a child, and now we are expecting the birth of our Daughter in February. We are perhaps not the average mixed couple, but this is a decision that should include both the Father and the Mother. We are financially secure, my wife comes from a very supportive family with 3 unmarried Sisters. As a result our child will have plenty of attention. Since I am an American, and paid the maximum amount into Social Security for years, our children will be able to collect about 800 US dollars a month up until age 22 ;if they stay in school. I hope to be around for a while, but the most important thing to me is that I trust my wife to bring up our Daughter in a loving supportive home, with or without me. Right now, I think I will be a better Dad than I could have been at age 25 or 30. I was always working long hours, somewhat insecure about the future of my marriage , and (although I didn't know it at the time) still had a lot to learn. Now, I think and pray I will be more patient, more understanding, and will have the time to nurture our child better than I could when I was younger. Just as some older Farangs make better partners for Thai women ; for the same reasons, they just might make better parents too. Will this be a challenge? Will this be physically demanding? Of course. Life is ;isn't it?

In my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing. I too am 60 and although I don't want another child I do know that I would be a much better father now with my financial security and maturity.

Post by **fatbob** » November 29, 2014, 8:08 am

Good luck for you Svensk1, a calculated thought out decision by two adults. I agree when you are stable financially and have more time you will make a better parent along with the help of immediate family which will benefit any child who is surrounded by people who care. Enjoy being a father, it is a great thing.

Post by **charlie1** » November 29, 2014, 9:20 am

i mentioned to my daughter that for the next 22 years her tax dollars will be used to support your sex life. she was real excited about that....i guess we can call this expait welfare

Post by **GT93** » November 29, 2014, 10:57 am

My youngest Thai step-daughter, now 24, has had 2 kids to different young Thai fathers. She'd be up the creek if GT's wallet wasn't funding all this. We still have issues such as getting the oldest child to school on time (GT ain't living in Thailand). The teachers understandably aren't happy.

I salute you over 65 year old farang dads. I can tell you you're better than the 21 year old Thai dads. That said, 52 year old GT, doesn't want a 65 year old farang son-in-law.