A Good Thai Girl & Thai Culture, Really?

[vlad]

In 1 Arjay newbies walk into a bar get a little young bargirl sitting on your lap telling you what you want to hear, go the same bar next night same again, then you're on the hook come back home on skype wishing you were back with her and the circus begins. We should know better but we fall for it time and time again. Sadly there are more bad stories than good stories.I have not got a degree in English either Arjay. Let's be honest where do you meet your partner in Thailand i've never walked into Big C or Central Plaza Looking for a future Mrs Vlad.

[vincemunday]

Another reality check time. We can't just blame the Thai girls here, some Farang deserve all they get, they come to Thailand on holiday, give it all the Billy big bo**ocks, splash their money around, tell lies about what they do back home and then proceed to pick the prettiest and often the youngest girl in the bar and as most of us are adult enough to realise, you most likely aren't Brad Pitt, if you was old, unattractive and fat back home then guess what? Stop maligning the girls, yes they are money making machines but as I've said before if they work in a bar..... These girls put up with so much, I've seen it, old disgusting men shoving their hands down their tops and up their skirts, they'd be killed for doing it back home but for some reason they think it's acceptable to do it to the girls here. Actually, I've seen some really scummy blokes getting all they deserve and I'm quite happy about it. Please reread the first couple of sentences, I do say SOME Farang, of course we aren't all bad.

[Sateeb]

The Courts in Thailand will not help the falang full stop. Samster in the West we don't have girls who hang around outside a bar enticing people in and doing there best to keep you in the bar. Id say 80% of members met there partner in a bar, restaurant, or Online. Girls are taught by there parents to meet farangs and the only reason Thais put up with us is because of there belief we have money don't be fooled by the thai smile Samster, you will get bled dry. In a nutshell we are seen as a bank account and if that Account gets low simply open another one.

You mean 80% of members on here? Don't know but where did you get the figure? How about in Thailand, you must know a lot (you seem quire knowledgeable about life here) does everybody you know here only date girls that work in a bar? If anybody insinuates that "all Thai women are" that is a red flag that they have swam in shark infested water and got their bollox bitten off then piss and moan about it.

Here's an exercise for you. Go on a dating website and if you can see beyond Lek with her tits bursting out of her top, then there are teachers on there and nurses, bank workers and all those other jobs that women do here that doesn't involve a pool table, connect 4 and a chrome pole.

[Liam Dale]

Another reality check time. We can't just blame the Thai girls here, some Farang deserve all they get, they come to Thailand on holiday, give it all the Billy big bo**ocks, splash their money around, tell lies about what they do back home and then proceed to pick the prettiest and often the youngest girl in the bar and as most of us are adult enough to realise, you most likely aren't Brad Pitt, if you was old, unattractive and fat back home then guess what? Stop maligning the girls, yes they are money making machines but as I've said before if they work in a bar..... These girls put up with so much, I've seen it, old disgusting men shoving their hands down their tops and up their skirts, they'd be killed for doing it back home but for some reason they think it's acceptable to do it to the girls here. Actually, I've seen some really scummy blokes getting all they deserve and I'm quite happy about it. Please reread the first couple of sentences, I do say SOME Farang, of course we aren't all bad.

Well written and I totally concur Vince. Sadly I have seen more mess relationships amongst my clientele than good ones. I don't believe I was "lucky" with meeting my Thai wife. We BOTH were at that particular time. I wasn't at my best of health or cirmcumstances and she truly believed Buddha sent me to her for her to take care. (her thought - up to her). By the same token her family were suffering a major business body blow and she wasn't able to carry on her 20k a month job held for 8 years prior. Good timing for both of us.

She has NEVER asked for money - but I paid the bills while she helped me back to health. About 20k a month tops INC the mortgage of 4,400 pcm. For two years now we have BOTH worked 12-15 hours a day building our business and I am the one who calls for down time. NEVER her. My "oops" moments relate totally to bar land and are alcohol related. Where I see all that has been described many times. So.. like about 85% of the ex pats here.. I dont go now.

Of course sometimes I want to - who doesnt. A few beers talk native language bxxlox with other ex pats and enjoy the fuss and la la from pretty younger females. But its in perspective. It HAS to be. Its NOT real.

But since researching for making a local radio channel, we find about 85% of the ex pats who live in Isan region DONT go to bars. Simples. They stay in their compounds, communities and houses WITH their families. Share their lives with sometimes extended families and quietly get on with life. And they don't use forums much!

That leaves an artificially increased statistic of relationship failures reported on sites such as UM. Creating the impression that its all a pretty messed up gig here.

I find any messes I've had.. totally of my own making. I have a reasonable and fair agreement with my wife as to how we distribute our assets if we were to fall out. And in simple terms the business here in Thailand would not even have been possible without her native skills, language, business sense in her own right and guidance. As well as those 100 hours a week.

Im not sitting on holier than thou mountain here. Just felt after reading through this thread over morning tea that I WAS perhaps lucky to have met my Mrs and saddened by the failures, self important, bitter, indeed naive on most occasions peeps reporting their circumstances and hoping to see others write about their SUCCESSFUL relationships here in Thailand.

I am slowly slowly a better, calmer, cleaner and healthier person now than I was in the West. And THAT is down to the gentle influence of my non ever bar working wife. Oh - and also? We have money WE made in a bank - and no debt.

I always had that encumbrance in my 40 years of self employment UK! So really.. just sayin'.

[the-monk]

Very eloquent Mr. Liam..

[oskar_lanning]

So oskars beautiful,smart,hard working wife of many years never came out of the same
Mould,given the oppertunity most will be the same.many men kid themselves they've found 'the one' she's not like the others this ones proper.ask any farang whose had his pants pulled down if they had a proper one and they will all say yes but she turned out to be a rotten,cheating,thieving liar.if you think you e found a good in it means you Have dropped
Your guard and are likely to have your pants pulled down and sent home penniless in your flip flops n shorts.

Not quite. She was very different when I took her to Japan (where I lived at the time). She was sweet and very nice. It was only when we moved to the US that she became so different. I think it was the fact that I didn't make as much money as she expected.

[Pooclover]

Not quite. She was very different when I took her to Japan (where I lived at the time). She was sweet and very nice. It was only when we moved to the US that she became so different. I think it was the fact that I didn't make as much money as she expected.

Is her name Mem...??

[glalt]

For those guys who ended up with BAD Thai wives, I would caution guys who are still looking to think with the big head and ignore the little head. First, long distance relationships seldom work. When you think you have found the right woman, you must live with her 24/7 for at least six months, longer is better. They are talented actresses but after a few months the warts will surely come out. Arm candy is nice but think about how you look and about the age difference. Beautiful young women are more concerned with security and a meal ticket than their much older husbands.

[vlad]

We all know most on Dating sites are not Nurses or Teachers and some get there friends to do there information because they can't speak English. I personally know guy's who have set up meetings and the girl he has been talking to for six months turns up but its not the same girl in the photo lol. I've been scammed but its not sour grapes i'd be back tomorrow if i could. I love Udon. I also dont walk around thinking my tilak loves me the same as we understand love in the West. I am confident to say that out of 10 relationships only 2-3 will last long term Liam i've never met you but you would soon find out how much trust you can put into a thai be it wife or g/f if your financial situation goes down hill.

[Liam Dale]

Vlad.. "Liam i've never met you but you would soon find out how much trust you can put into a thai be it wife or g/f if your financial situation goes down hill."

On the contrary.. We bottomed out 2 years ago.. NEARLY failing to pay our installment for the business. I had 400 baht in the world. Wife went and borrowed 10k from a Thai friend.. cost me a bag of pineapples in interest cos they didnt want money!

Judge by your own experiences mate.. not mine.

Fortunately for me I left my ego behind in UK when I closed doors there with missions accomplished.

[maaka]

I met my missus online dating, and shes a teacher. I dont go to bars, dont drink, stay in my conclave in the wops wops, but do 3mths on 3mths off. I like to be alone back homeland for 3mths be with my horses, guns, motorbikes and mancave, then I come back...works well for us....

heres one for the books , so BEWARE...

a rather non descript looking woman would turn up at our house here once in a blue moon, and would talk to the missus..after a couple of visits I asked what it was all about...she wanted the missus to translate the english emails she was getting from some farang man the woman met on the net...ohh ok...next visit missus said man want to send her money to buy a house, and to send bank details...urrrrr...no one do that darl, that no sound right....I asked her about this woman, my missus explains the lady has a thai husband in the , and has HIV...what and she playing the internet...I told the missus to stop helping her as this was not my kinda thing.deceiving some poor dude..last visit the uk man wanted lady to send bank details and her to send him some money...told the missus its smelled like a scam...turned out to be a Nigerian scam artist after the thai ladys money....you reap what you sow...

if I was to date a bargirl I would ask for STD tests, that goes for any lady, now I know this story..

[Sateeb]

We all know most on Dating sites are not Nurses or Teachers and some get there friends to do there information because they can't speak English. I personally know guy's who have set up meetings and the girl he has been talking to for six months turns up but its not the same girl in the photo lol. I've been scammed but its not sour grapes i'd be back tomorrow if i could. I love Udon. I also dont walk around thinking my tilak loves me the same as we understand love in the West. I am confident to say that out of 10 relationships only 2-3 will last long term Liam i've never met you but you would soon find out how much trust you can put into a thai be it wife or g/f if your financial situation goes down hill.

Of course MOST are not nurses or teachers but also few would be bar girls. Also you can set a region to search to avoid touristy places and avoid bar girls if one so wishes. Herein lies the problem. A lot of men want "good" girls but they also want proficient English speakers and in a lot of cases you can't have it both ways. How many men make the effort to learn Thai or Isaan.

I would think anecdotes of meeting girls that are misrepresented would be quite few. I have 2 neighbours that meet girls from DIA regularly and I pity the girls. Also it is no secret that villages have ladies with a good knowledge of English that work as translators to hook up village girls with westerners via dating websites. Neither are scam artists and make it clear. The soi dogs know that.

out of 10 relationships only 2-3 will last long term

Where did you get that from? You seem to have all these statistics from wherever. How long have/did you live in Udon Thani to base this on?

[papafarang]

actually sateeb ,I think he was being very generous with the 2-3 . that might be a number for the ordinary guy that stays home and enjoys thai family life. but that number drops to about 1 in 10 for the guys that still like the nightlife. years or being there and running bars taught me that. even some of what I thought were good solid relationships hit the rocks if he's a party type, sometimes even the ' good guys' lose out even after 10 years together. the other one ae the guys the work abroad and come back and forth , everything is hunky dory until they pack up work and move full time, it was great while he keeps buying nice cars, land, gold and the money was flowing, then they have to slow it down as not so much cash to go around.. then boom,arguments and fights , not sure if its less cash or actually living together. a few yeas back a long term mate, been with his wife 10 years of happy holidaying at nice beach resorts, plenty of money, gold up to the eyeballs , couple of new cars. his wife got pregnant and he decided to pack up and go live full time. next thing he tells he no more samui for 1 months holidays, sorry but we got to get a bar for an income, oh and the new big pick up can be rented out for good money. oh and sorry I can't continue paying your family to sit around on the farm we bought, they have to actually work the farm . well all ended badly, everything he put in her name because he trusted his wife.. ' she's a diamond' ,and she was.
I once heard a good one.
'my wife would never do that to me'
'oh yeh'
'I bet your ex wife would though'

[glalt]

Could it be that my farang friends are smarter than many, maybe most other expat farangs? Five friends and myself have been married to the same Thai women for more than 10 years. That kind of skews the 2 to 3 out of 10 statistics.

[karonsteve]

Having 6 husbands must keep her busy.

[747man]

Could it be that my farang friends are smarter than many, maybe most other expat farangs? Five friends and myself have been married to the same Thai women for more than 10 years. That kind of skews the 2 to 3 out of 10 statistics.

And I've been married to The SAME Thai Woman for 23 Years & 10 Months, Silver Anniversary on February 3rd 2018....She'll DO For Me.....

[Liam Dale]

Agreeing with both above.. but only 5 years so far. However, (mildly) interesting are my farang are all married about 5 years too! A couple are more. These are the people who I consider mates.. we count and call on on each other when needed. So in my humble collection yes.. the stats are well skewed! Im also the only farang in my village and rarely see another even scooting by. Suits me..

[papafarang]

the thing is owning bars you get to meet 1000's of couples, ten years down the line I know 5 couples that are still together. if you know 5 couples that are together after 10 years that's a good thing , especially if you only know 5 people, if you knew 50 couples are all 50 couples still together ? then its not that you have smarter friends , you just happen to know 5 survivors, and I would find it difficult to believe you have only met 5 people in 10 years ? anyway at least we all know survivors. I just thought about it and here's a scary thought , I know more dead guys than surviving couples from the last 10 years .
stats are funny things , you could say in liam's village there are no farang divorces ever. all of this just depends on how many people you know or knew . can you think of 5 couples that are not together after the last 10 years ? they will always be long term survivors but how many train wrecks have you seen. how many couples does 747 know that he met 23 years and 10 month ago that are still married ?

[Liam Dale]

Heh. papafarang is right.. there WAS a short term visiting farang.. sad story.. two kids with a Thai wife.. every time he went back to UK she would sell the car and everything he gave and go back on the game. Once a massive screaming fight tween her and her mother in the road.. mum did not approve as he coughed up enough cash monthly from UK and was an ok bloke. But the wife had a gambling prob. And so the cliche continued. He found out.. then turned out not to be an ok bloke as he popped her head enough times for a hospital trip and then left. Fortunately for us she picked up kids and left too.

The stats bit would mean that 50% of farang marriages in "my" village end in divorce..
PS.. that was all 3 years ago. Only Thais here now. N me. We get along well.

[Nigglyb]

But the wife had a gambling prob.

Now there is an underlying theme I've heard before both in the UK & in Thailand.
My circle of friends is about the same as yours. Perhaps because we were all mates who used to go to Thailand playing the field but all met our little teeraks around the same time, just coming up to 10 years ago (wish me luck, that seems to be a common length of time)
One mate moved to North Thailand with no intention of returning to the UK but ended up bailing his mrs out of gambling debts so many times he had to go back to get a job. She carried on gambling & he couldn't afford to bail her so she's sold everything in Thailand! He's now stuck in the UK & has little contact with her
All the others moved to the UK & have a little Sunday afternoon gambling syndicate. All of them seem to be estranged as they never go out with the better halves even going on holiday to Thailand separately which I don't think I'll ever understand
Mrs N detests gambling, in so far as only going to the Sunday afternoon soirees twice at the start & never again

Anyway each to their own. I know plenty of bitter & twisted people from farang only marriages so whether its a farang/thai thing alone i don't know