A Good Thai Girl & Thai Culture, Really?

[vlad]

We could go on and on Liam, ok some marriages do survive but only a few, unfortunately most don't.mostly down to scamming or cheating.

[Sateeb]

We could go on and on Liam, ok some marriages do survive but only a few, unfortunately most don't.mostly down to scamming or cheating.

Like the lads previous that have been married here for a long time most I know here are also happily married. Even the ones that met on the internet. There seems to be a difference between people that actually live here and the tourists that come over to drop their trousers for a few weeks every year whining into their beer about getting ripped off.

AGAIN... Where do you get your info?

[Liam Dale]

Like the lads previous that have been married here for a long time most I know here are also happily married. Even the ones that met on the internet. There seems to be a difference between people that actually live here and the tourists that come over to drop their trousers for a few weeks every year whining into their beer about getting ripped off.

AGAIN... Where do you get your info?

[redacted by Moderator]

As he says we could go on n on.. so here are my last two pennies of contribution to this thread.

I met my wife on the internet. Logged onto TLL for a gawp during a home alone drinking session after receiving spam email. After n hour she clicked "hello" to me. I looked, LOVELY smile, all the hair etc. 42 years (I was 53). Anyway, I didnt click back.. every day for 3 days she clicked "hello". So I eventually clicked back. The first person I talked to on chat. And the last! We yacked n yacked with google translate and first word of common ground was "kaput" cos we were both stuck in our houses whilst it slammed it down with rain. (8,000 miles apart). We yacked for days. (It rained a lot at both ends)

Turns out she had logged into her TLL account (indeed set up with help from her part English speaking relatives) while child minding her nieces. When she went to the loo.. they would jump on the computer and click "hello" to every bloke they could see! And then run n hide while she cleaned up the chaos. Why didn't I say hello back sooner? Because of her short description of herself. "I am a lovely woman". Tsskk.. bit arrogant I thought originally. Turned out to be nephew speak when set up. She turned out to BE that. A LOVELY woman. The nieces get Christmas presents every year for their useful act of naughtiness.

2ndly.. and important I think. We the long term married and ok dont NEED to defend our families and positions. Or justify them. I write in the hope that people.. who are planning to come to Thailand or indeed here and wanting to commit to this very different culture and way of life.. take SOME encouragement - rather than just read the embittered and sadly hurt.

After the military coup the government decreed that all the students due to leave Summer of 2015 STAY at college for another year. (The reasoning we wont go into here). This meant my wife's son needed another 12 x 7,000 baht a month to live. NOT budgeted for. It wasn't his fault. And nor was it ours. Thai circumstances.

So.. we offered to LEND him the money. And expect it to be repaid when he could. All was agreed and we upped the money to 8k.. (I still feel guilty at such a small sum - his rent was 4,000). But he never asked for more. A total of 96,000. He has already paid back 20k in 4 months. I cannot think of any other way to express my confidence than when you find good Thai people.. like any culture.. they are good people.

Just as I did with my 3 RL English sons.. when they had repaid 50% of any last debt for cars, motorcycles etc.. I cancelled the balance. He gets the same treatment as my other kids. The point had been taught, the reward for the good behaviour adding a little "generosity" too I hope.

And that's me out of the thread. Thanks for the chit chat. Dont knock online dating sites. They work well.. if you use sense. To those who have been hammered my sympathy. Dust off, make decisions and have another go. To those who have long term partners.. i wish you all a most excellent Christmas and NY season - โชคดี.

[glalt]

I don't think the phrase "Thai women" means singular.

[mickojak]

I met my wife online too.
First lady I chatted to.
Works at the local hospital and had never had much to do with any falung.
I could not be happier with life, neither could she.
Mind you, all relationship take some work any you would be a fool to think otherwise.
Most of the blokes over here that I know are also very happy with their wives.

Just got to use your brain and hope some luck is with you, (like dealing with any women).

Nothing worth any good comes for free!!!

Mick

[papafarang]

buy yourself a bar, sit in it for a couple of years , you will soon find out how many train wrecks thee are, the reason you never meet too many of them out in the sticks is because their already divorced , lost everything and gone home to whatever country they come from. I can say one thing with confidence, I have never met a guy that gets divorced and is still in the house he paid for. nope not one comes to mind, it's a bit like that get divorced and everything gets split 50/50 , never met anyone that has actually managed to do that either.
one guy I personally know , he had a girlfriend and they had been together for 7 years, then she starts on about getting married, so he thinks why not, after all it has been 7 years together. so off he goes and gets married ,all hunky dory like. well a week later he comes home and she's not there, he thinks nothing of it as she could be at her friends or mums house. next morning still no sign so he calls her, phones off, so he pops to mums ,not there and mum hasn't seen her, so he goes everywhere looking but no one has seen her. so after a few days he eventually goes to the police makes a report as he's worried , after a while the police tell him she's ok but they can't tell him where she is. so a few weeks later he's sitting in his bar and a couple of dodgy thai guys turn up and start demanding money. .. so this is what happened , she married him , got the books for his 7 big bikes, his bmw and got money off money lenders and gave the money lenders all the books for his bikes and car, then got a loan from the bank secured to the house he had bought. she then emptied his bank account ,this was all well planned out before they married. got all the cash together and id a runner to chang mai with her thai boyfriend. I think that marriage lasted 7 days. seems she only wanted to marry so she could have his name , and the reply from the police when he reported her...'your wife, she can'. well the bikes went, the house belonged to the bank and to top the lot off he wasted 300,000 on the wedding. classic. he now lives in Vientiane and is single.
now your wondering how she managed to hock the bikes, simple ..same surname come to think of it owning a bar can be quite depressing with all the wrecks that walk through the door. as I said it would be hard to find a divorced guy as they have already gone home.
say 10 years back I knew 100 guys, some went broke ,some died, some got ripped and some got divorced. out of that 100 from 10 years ago I would be surprised if there were 10 left... 10 lucky ones

[papafarang]

maybe I'm a bit depressed after so many years of stories in bars,when things go wrong guys head strait to a bar. got to a point where a guy would say to me 'my wife has left me', 'STOP' ...at that point I already knew what he was about to say.

[mickojak]

Papa,
I don't doubt any of what you said and it is quite sad.
But If you don't try, you will never know.

Maybe it will happen to me one day too. Who knows?

Gotta enjoy every day, because who knows what tomorrow brings?

Mind you, I've seen plenty a falung who treat their Thai women like dogs, so I don't feel sorry for any of them.
I bet you saw plenty in the bar as well?

I treat my wife, her family, my friends and my family with respect.
Do unto others as you would do unto yourself.

If that fails, well, it just wasn't mean't to be.
Get over it, learn from it and move on.
Life has lessons for all of us.
Just ask one of the 60 millions bhuddist's around us. They will tell you that!!!!!
Mick

[Udon Map]

Off-topic posts removed.

[farlong68]

my buddies said it wouldn't work her family said it wouldn't work my family back in the states thought I was crazy but 46 years may the 26th and its still working.... sorry to shine on the sob fest....

[glalt]

Maybe to biggest mistake guys make is thinking that Thai women are going to be subservient and obey the master. Women all over the world are women and you have to give them some respect. My wife is anything but subservient. That suits me because no way would I want a clinging vine. Some may be clinging vines but that doesn't last nor does the marriage. Some younger girls are very jealous but that is the result of their insecurity. Guy may think that their jealousy is cute but it soon becomes irritating and leads to major problems.

The worst problem a man can have is a girl who has a gambling habit. Drugs are bad but gambling is worse. They will not give it up regardless what they promise you. They will beg, borrow, steal or sell their body to support their habit.

[vlad]

i know many including wife's and g/fs and there mums all had gambling habits glalt your correct they will do anything whatever it takes to sustain there habit and not forgetting the money lender you knew nothing about who comes round every month for his payback.

[WizzWanger67]

lol,you cant, beat a good thai girl,ive had 6 upto now

[papafarang]

[Barney]

If only we could turn it around and get some of the Thai woman's perspective on falang ars,wipes they have had to put up with, that may have, turned them to the dark side and the eventual failure of a relationship.
Just for balance. These same old same old conversations seem very one way street orientated.

[Sport]

If only we could turn it around and get some of the Thai woman's perspective on falang ars,wipes they have had to put up with, that may have, turned them to the dark side and the eventual failure of a relationship.
Just for balance. These same old same old conversations seem very one way street orientated.

I agree Barney, the expat is in a relationship but still thinks he is a single man when he goes out for the night and the lady is at home. Not all Thai women are bad, its the way they are treated that causes them to grab anything they can out of the relationship.

[Sport]

I will clarify the last comment I made. I think it is the normal culture in Thailand that in a relationship, the lady will give permission for the man to have extra martial sex outside of the home provided he does not take the extra lady home or throws it up in her face. And I cannot see any problem with that if they are in agreement with that policy.

[mickojak]

I think it is the normal culture in Thailand that in a relationship, the lady will give permission for the man to have extra martial *** outside of the home provided he does not take the extra lady home or throws it up in her face

Are you serious???????????????

My wife has told me that if I get an extra woman, that she would still stay with me, (I never will, or need to).
But, do you think my relationship with her and her family would be the same?
No way mate.
There would be no respect for me at all and living with them would be very difficult. (If you have a conscience, that is?) (And I do).

Anyone who thinks otherwise is just plain crazy.

Maybe that's the reason for so many divorces! Ha Ha
Mick

[WizzWanger67]

I will clarify the last comment I made. I think it is the normal culture in Thailand that in a relationship, the lady will give permission for the man to have extra martial *** outside of the home provided he does not take the extra lady home or throws it up in her face. And I cannot see any problem with that if they are in agreement with that policy.

Ive just asked my mrs about this i think she got the wrong end of the stick probably not the best time to discuss this with her,as she was outside gutting fish with a new meat cleaver,she muttered something like,''you take lady i cut you c,ck give for duck''im now posting this from behind the locked door of the bathroom

[WizzWanger67]

I will clarify the last comment I made. I think it is the normal culture in Thailand that in a relationship, the lady will give permission for the man to have extra martial *** outside of the home provided he does not take the extra lady home or throws it up in her face. And I cannot see any problem with that if they are in agreement with that policy.

To be honest i have heard about this a few times it certainly goes on in the wifes sisters village and probably many other villages,i think most of them except it as long as they are getting taken care of,i mean how many times have we heard the thai women who has the farang and her brother comes to stay only it turns out to be her thai husband???surprise surprise