Is she genuine?

[sarahb92]

Hello, I am really worried about my friend who has travelled to Thailand on his own where he met his girlfriend in a Phuket bar. There's a 15 year age gap between my friend and his girlfriend and there are some things that make me really worried. Can I just post a list of facts from what I know and hear your opinions on their relationship please?

- She is 22 and has a 7 year old daughter
- She's Isaan
- She didn't go to school
- She doesn't speak English, only very, very basic. She wouldn't understand if you asked her how she's doing, let alone answer.
- She worked on her parent's farm from a very young age
- She got married young to a Thai guy, they had a child and he broke up
- Her child is 6 years old
- She went to work in Phuket in a bar
- My friend met her while she was working
- They have been together for 2 years now and he has visited her 4 times, staying between 2 and 4 weeks each time
- She introduced him to his family in the Isaan region and he stayed with them twice for 2 weeks each
- I think she introduced him to her friends too
- She visited him in Europe twice (staying for 3 months each)
- She didn't bring her child when visiting (who is staying with her parents)
- He says she is taking English lessons in Thailand
- I think she stopped working in Phuket (not entirely sure), but she helps her parents in their shop and on the fields a lot (she keeps sending pictures)

I am really worried about my friend as he seems completely in love and doesn't want to hear any concerns. He has never had a real girlfriend before (even though I don't think he couldn't have found one at home). He's also a successful bussiness man, but lives in a small flat in a rural region. I think he could be sending her money, not entirely sure though.

What do you guys think are the chances of her being genuine here? And do many Thai girls visit their Western boyfriends? Is this a sign of them being genuine with their partners?

[Old Grumpy]

Worrying about a 37year old man? Seems he's old another and presumably wise enough to know what he is doing and the consequences.Leave him be , he is obviously enjoying the ride.Wonder why you chose Udon Map to post your tale of woe when it all seemed to happen in Phuket . :-"

[glalt]

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. As long as he can afford it, what does it hurt? Hopefully he will never spend more than he can afford to walk away from. It's really all about money. How about a 75 year old man married to a 23 year old beauty? After he bought her a new truck and built her a new house, she threw him out. When quizzed about it, he asked how many men were able to spend three years with a beautiful young woman?

He was headed back to Pattaya to find another one just like her. He said that he still had plenty of money and that he knows that he can't take it with him. The old guy is NOT stupid. He is of the opinion to enjoy life while you can.

[maaka]

These things are never easy to decipher. Only time smokes out the true ones, and we have had many of these such Love Detective requests, some are trolls, some are genuine..I will play because I have nothing else to do this hot little morning.

my girlfriend of 10yrs has never visited me in my own country, doesnt want too, but she's madly in love with me, so I dont think travelling to the West is a good gauge of one truthfulness..

I have 20yrs on my partner, and that is not a problem, The sap still rises, and all is blissful..well in part..no relationship is perfect, but at least we have not become cold unfeeling adversaries, who Just get on each others nerves all day..Perish the thought.

does she eat food with her fingers, talk with her mouth full, sit crossed legged on a chair, and doesnt no a word of what your saying?..Sometimes.but then again I sit up at the table, use a knife and fork, swallow before speaking, and dont understand a word of what she is saying to my kinda adopted Thai son, but it makes life different and interesting nei, and thats what I like..

My missus is from a poor rice farming family. You should see a photo of us. It would make a great advert for Red Cross..I cant speak with them, nor them with me, but we understand each other..she had a little boy when I met her, and had been married to a Thai fellow, before he got drunk one night and fell in a drain and drowned. So, she was slightly shop soiled, should that put a man off, not if he's in love.. I knew my missus was a good nice woman when I met her, and we have learned to fall in love.. A Thai relationship is completely different from a Western one, so its hard to compare..

as long as your friend doesnt sign his fortune away, then let him sail close to the wind..

[nickboyuk]

I would be asking him if he is sending her money every month, which he certainly is. Does she keep asking because her family needs it. What are his plans..is he going to marry her. How has it been when she has stayed here 3 mothns.
Don't worry about the age gap, its natural in these types of relationships.
Not all Thais frfom bars are bad. she just wants a better life for her and her son.

[Old Grumpy]

I think the obvious flaw in the Op was "she visited him in Europe twice" Certainly not the UK because her credentials, bar girl , no job or money, wouldn't get her past the door in the Embassy visa section and even if she got a shenigan visa she still couldn't get over the water to the UK.

[vincemunday]

Thai girls are like any other insofar as there's good and bad and I say that's irrespective of whether they are ex bar girls or ex government employees. Most people I know, including myself have been lucky, some are married very happily to ex bar girls and some like me are married to ex tessabahn employees. Some girls are pretty much forced into prostitution, poor family, no breadwinner, we all know the story and some just don't like Thai men who's outlook to be fair is generally a bit different to that of most western men. The age gap doesn't matter either, there's 19 years between my wife and I, she's 39 and I'm 58, we've been happily married for 12 years (to be honest I'm more happily married than she is 555+) we've been together pretty much 24/7 for those 12 years, we had a business and worked together in the U.K. for 10 years and now we've retired here together. So to summarise, it's the luck of the draw, there's a misconception that all Thai girls are bad, i'm pleased to say that's not my experience and I think most are good hearted girls who take good care of their men. In a nutshell it's singularly the best decision I have made so far in my life and I think most of the people I know who are married to Thai girls would agree.

[747man]

Cradle Snatcher,Vince...... =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

[vincemunday]

Sh*t happens 747, why drive an old jalopy if you can have the latest BMW? Actually age was never an issue, we clicked and that was that, I doubt I'd have been so happy married to an English girl irrespective of the 19 year difference, for the record my Mrs is probably the nicest person I've ever known Thai or otherwise, she's a really lovely lady which im sure would be borne out by just about everyone who's met her.

[semperfiguy]

The OP's post is highly suspicious since by the user name it appears that it's a female named Sarah who was probably born in '92 which makes her only 26 years old. Could this be a jealous competitor that is after the 37 year old man and who is out to discredit her competition? No doubt the guy is sending his money to the 22 year old each month, but that's certainly his prerogative. Chances are she has other foreign suitors that are also sending money, and she probably has a local Thai boyfriend that is leeching the money from her. These kinds of long distance relationship seldom work out here in Thailand, so give the guy some time and he will come to terms with his loss and be available once again, then you can be free to dig your paws into him. Good luck!

[Laan Yaa Mo]

The OP's post is highly suspicious since by the user name it appears that it's a female named Sarah who was probably born in '92 which makes her only 26 years old. Could this be a jealous competitor that is after the 37 year old man and who is out to discredit her competition? No doubt the guy is sending his money to the 22 year old each month, but that's certainly his prerogative. Chances are she has other foreign suitors that are also sending money, and she probably has a local Thai boyfriend that is leeching the money from her. These kinds of long distance relationship seldom work out here in Thailand, so give the guy some time and he will come to terms with his loss and be available once again, then you can be free to dig your paws into him. Good luck!

You think too much. Relax

[747man]

Sh*t happens 747, why drive an old jalopy if you can have the latest BMW? Actually age was never an issue, we clicked and that was that, I doubt I'd have been so happy married to an English girl irrespective of the 19 year difference, for the record my Mrs is probably the nicest person I've ever known Thai or otherwise, she's a really lovely lady which im sure would be borne out by just about everyone who's met her.

Only Winding you up Vince, Actually there is a 17 Year Age Gap between Me & My Mrs,I Hasten to add She is The YOUNGER One as well.....

[glalt]

Most women are smarter than men, or at the least more practical. Why would a desirable woman marry a poor farang? Only a stupid woman would do that. The love thing is way overrated. A farang husband doesn't have to be wealthy, but he does have to be kind, dependable and able to support his wife long term. Some guys who pay sin sot think they own the lady. Those relationships seldom work out.

Back in the US, there was a young pregnant attractive girl who was unemployed and from a poor family. Her future looked bleak until a much older man came along and offered to marry her. She did marry him and most of his friends thought he made a huge mistake. He wasn't a wealthy man by any means. In fact he was a hard worker and did home insulation and roofing. We were all amazed when after she had the baby, she worked right beside him, hard dirty work. Did she love him? Who knows? They had been married for about ten years when I hired him to insulate my house. She worked right beside him. I was impressed. They didn't make big money but they did pretty well.

[nickboyuk]

Looks like the OP was board, must be the same person who has started 3 threads on this part of the forum amd then never responded.

[Tallyla]

Okay, maybe this is love. But let's consider the worst option. She doesn't love him. she is with him only because he sends her money or wants to move in to live with your friend. If she does not cheat him, sleeps with him, in the future she will cook him food and clean up and help, then this is not a bad deal, is it?

[marcus1]

My girl said to me when we first met and I quote...
There is no love in Thailand....Only the love of money..!!!
8 years later we enjoy a great life together with that understanding.
My girl looks after me very very well and I look after her.
In saying that I feel I got one of the best girls in Thailand.
She doesn't drink or smoke or gamble.
Happy days..!!!!

[Stantheman]

I think it's funny that there are still posts on this phony thread from an Op who only posted this one item an has not been back since the day after posting.

[trekkertony]

Irrespective of whether the OP intent, the outcome has had in my opinion created an opportunity for others to reflect on their own decisions and the effect of those decisions in relation to having a younger thai partner.To say this process is cathartic is up to the individual. The only positive thing l can contribute is that when my son met and married a thai lady ( 2 year age gap ) and the decision was taken for her to come to Australia to live, i implored him to make sure that her 2 year old boy must be part of his wife's future in Australia. Whilst l understood that the village grand parents nurture ( a lot of the time ) the grandchildren, it was my belief the tyranny of distance would eventually erode the relationship of my son and his wife if the son resided in Thailand. 12 years on, the relationship is as solid as a rock with an additional grandson for us to enjoy their development and in many respects we are able to enjoy a relationship with our grand kids not unlike that experienced in an Issan rural village. Was there love in the relationship when they first met, definitely not. Has the relationship thus far been successful, most definitely. Does our daughter in law love our son, l am sure the response would be that she loves our son in a Thai way. Is the thai way of love enough for our son, watching him display the pride he has for his family l would say yes.

[glalt]

Thai ladies are excellent actresses. They can pull off an act for quite a while. The thing to do is to live with them 24/7 for at least a year. The warts will eventually come out. That's the best way to know if they would make a good wife or not. Usually the warts will come out in less than a year, but the longer you live with them before getting married, the better. Long distance relationships rarely work out.

[saint]

All ladies are fantastic actresses , not just Thais that can pull of an act . Although in todays P C world actresses are now known as actors . Even professional actresses refer to themselves as actors .
The world does appear to be going mad .